Despite that they should have been preparing like mad for the next phase of the Exams, Team 7 had met up with their Sensei shortly after the written portion of the exams was over. Suffice to say that after the departure of the entire Kiri and Iwa delegations who had only come due to a great deal of political wrangling on the Hokage's part, only twelve teams made it through and that was only due to Naruto's rather timely or untimely but completely unintended encouragement.

When they came together, Naruto and Sakura eagerly greeted Kakashi, still high on their victory, while Sasuke held back, instinctively knowing what was coming next.

"Kakashi-Sensei! Kakashi-Sensei! We made it through the first test!" Naruto yelled eagerly as he happily bounced around his teacher.

"The people from Kiri and Iwa jumped out of the windows to get away from Naruto, and the guys from Kumo were acting really weird during the test." Sakura said after their teacher congratulated them, passing on what she saw as the most interesting bit of news to come out of the exam.

"Weird how?" Kakashi asked, suddenly appearing more alert than his usual "lazy" self.

"They called Naruto Uzumaki-Sama and were bowing. One of them even offered to sharpen his pencil for him, and I could almost swear I saw another steal it after the test was over." Sakura replied.

"Ah, that." Kakashi said relaxing as soon as he realized that his student wasn't under immediate threat, and would likely have an easier time of it during the second phase of the Exams since the most worrying group had chosen to flee rather than fight.

"What was that about, anyways?" Naruto asked, looking puzzled.

"Officially, Kumo abducted one Uzumaki Kushina who was later rescued by one Namikaze Minato who followed a trail of her hair that she had left behind. Unofficially, Kushina got tired of waiting to be rescued, and the followers of Jashin ended up elevating her to sainthood after the "Incident" which followed despite her not following their religion. Rumor has it that she forced the Yondaime Raikage to eat his own spleen just before Minato-Sensei arrived and rescued him. When asked "Why the spleen?" she is rumored to have stated that she'd failed anatomy and grabbed the first thing she found, hoping it was the liver." Kakashi replied.

Sasuke curled up into an even tighter ball in his hiding space after he'd overheard his sensei's story. How the hell did the son of all that end up so freaking normal, and the Dead Last no less? Oh wait, he'd decided that Naruto wasn't the offspring of the Fourth Hokage. For the sake of his sanity, he was going to chose to believe the official story that Kakashi had mentioned. The Yondaime had clearly rescued the helpless Uzumaki Kushina whom he had never ever had sex with. As for how Naruto was conceived...Kushina had probably asexually reproduced or something.

A sudden chill went up Sasuke's spine about a second before he suddenly found himself in the shade.

"And don't think I haven't forgotten about you." Kakashi said coldly as he glared down at his wayward and apparently suicidally stupid student.

What happened next made Sasuke's return from Wave look like a walk in the park in comparison. If he weren't needed alive and in one piece so his teammates could advance, there was a good chance that he wouldn't have been by the time Kakashi was through with him.

Edited 4/1/13.