Sandaime Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed after finishing reading the report he'd received. Months ago, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura had pieced together an S-class secret about their teammate, and unfortunately it hadn't been the one about the Kyuubi. The one he had thought more likely to spill the secret since she was a notorious gossip hadn't, but she hadn't stopped her teammate and longtime crush Uchiha Sasuke from doing so either.

The last time Sasuke spilled the secret of Naruto's parentage to foreign shinobi, they had been extremely lucky because the shinobi had died before they could share it with or more likely sell it to interested parties. This time however, they were not so lucky. The secret had made its way across the continent in a matter of hours, following in the wake of a number of fleeing Iwa Genin teams. Genin teams that he'd only just barely gotten to participate in the Exams while they took place in Konoha for the first time since the War, and only after making several concessions to that smug bastard Onoki.

The fact that the truth of Naruto's parentage had gotten out now was both worrisome and unfortunate as Naruto was not yet capable of defending himself from any assassins that might slip past his ANBU guard, especially now that the boy's abilities have taken a sharp drop in certain areas, especially in the areas of stealth and evasion. He knew why this was, and was afraid that the decision he'd just made would come back to bite him in the ass. Years ago, the Yamanaka who'd examined the boy and further buried the aspect of the child which had been labeled "Dark Naruto" had informed him that Naruto's strong ability to compartmentalize things was the reason the child wasn't a raving lunatic. Unfortunately, that tendency towards compartmentalization had a number of drawbacks.

Sighing once more, he sent for Naruto.

Sakura watched and waited for her absent teammate in worry. The Second Phase of the Chunin Exams was about to start, and if he didn't get here in less than a minute, their team would be disqualified. As the worry turned to terror, Naruto showed up with just seconds to spare.

The first thing she noticed when he appeared was that he was carrying a massive backpack and wearing the evil grin she hadn't seen on his face since the Academy. While it technically wasn't against the rules, almost everyone else had come with just themselves and their equipment pouches, as they didn't want to risk being encumbered by something like the bulky pack Naruto was carrying in a life or death situation. Naruto apparently wasn't so concerned.

"Naruto, why are you bringing that backpack? It's just going to slow you down." she asked, since Sasuke who was now sporting a black eye and a split lip because Kakashi had slipped up twice while playing "Leave no marks where anyone can see them" seemed to be determined to ignore Naruto's existence entirely.

"The Old Man told me that pranks really weren't childish, and that I didn't need "Grow up and stop pranking people now that I was a Genin". Unfortunately, he also told me that I could only prank ninja who attacked me or my comrades, which sucks since I have a revenge list a mile long that I had wanted to finish. Fortunately, he told me that I could use the ones he told me to never ever use again on anyone who attacked me, my teammates, my comrades, or the village itself." Naruto replied, his evil grin growing even wider.

Sakura briefly wondered at the shudder that passed through the proctor for this part of the exams when she handed them their release of liability forms and the wary look she gave Naruto as she held his out in a trembling hand. Sure, Naruto dropped the occasional eraser on the Instructors' heads, changed the clocks around on occasion, and did a million other small things, but it couldn't be that bad, could it?

Orochimaru drew back coughing and rubbing his burning eyes despite the fact that that was the last thing he should be doing. One second he'd been chasing the Uchiha boy up a tree, and the next, he'd fallen victim to a pepper bomb that had been set off in his face by the Uzumaki brat whom he could still hear laughing that incredibly evil laugh that brought back memories of the child's mother, such as the time she...and the time she...and that other time she...and the morning she...

Oh god! He'd thought he'd successfully repressed those!

Sasuke watched as Naruto set a number of rather ingenious traps around the Grass ninja who was currently clutching her head and chanting "Repress. Repress. Uzumaki Kushina never existed. Repress. Repress. This didn't just happen. Repress. Repress."

What kind of family did that boy come from?

Oh right, Naruto's mother was some helpless kidnap victim, and dead last at the Academy just like her son. His father most definitely wasn't the Yondaime no matter how many people seemed to think so for whatever reason. Naruto wasn't anything special, and those weren't traps, they were just a bunch of stupid pranks like the ones Naruto used to pull back at the Academy. That was his story, and he was sticking to it.

Edited 4/2/13