Thanks to everyone for the wonderful comments and to those who have added my story to your favorites. It does a heart good to know that you're enjoying my story.
I apologize for taking so long to update. I sprained my middle finger (no jokes, please ) and since I'm on a computer all day at work I decided to rest it at home and wait before updating.
As usual I do not own Criminal Minds.
P.S.
Fran Morgan doesn't have her own tag under the "characters" drop down menu on the home page. The mother of one of the finest men alive needs to be recognized.
Mother Knows Best
Chapter 2
A sudden bold and unexpected question doth many times surprise a man and lay him open.
-Francis Bacon
It was an ambush of epic proportions. Meticulously calculated it was designed to strike when the enemy was at his most vulnerable. Comfortably ensconced in the Morgan family home with its non-threatening amber colored walls and antique lace curtains, they had spent the past hour stuffing themselves with pasta and liberally drinking the expensive bottles of wine brought by the dashing David Rossi.
The music of laughter and clinking glasses drifted through the air and all but Fran were blind to the oncoming battle which JJ would later jokingly christen as Operation Baby Drop or OBD for short.
For years to come the team would marvel at Fran's confession that OBD was patterned after the teachings of Sun Tzu, the ancient Chinese military general and philosopher. They would delight in the fact that the unassuming and soft spoken widow had painstakingly combed through The Art of War until she had devised a decidedly military-like strategy with two main goals in mind: 1) Get Derek and Penelope married and 2) Convince them to get pregnant right away.
Interestingly enough the book belonged to Derek. Found on the floor of his childhood bedroom it was the only item to have been shaken loose during the 3.6 magnitude earthquake that had surprised the city one cold April morning. Dog-eared and with Derek's clean crisp handwriting along its edges, it sat there open and bathed in sunlight as if silently pleading for her to pick it up.
Whether the book had fallen by chance or providence, Fran felt compelled to take it back to her room and study it from beginning to end. Inspired by Tzu's teachings, she fervidly set out to forge a plan to defeat the enemy. This was her plan A.
Of course she felt badly for thinking of her own flesh and blood as the enemy but desperate times called for desperate measures. And let's face it she wasn't getting any younger and neither was the future "Mrs. Morgan". Both Derek and Penelope were wasting prime baby-making years and Fran was determined, come hell or high water, to put a stop to it.
So steeling her spine she commanded herself to stay fearless and focused in her mission. Waiting one beat…two beats…three… she prepared for the impending eruption and like clockwork her baby boy did not disappoint.
"MOM!"
Derek's roar banged against the room's four walls like a sonic boom.
Such force would have frightened a lesser woman but it's hard to be intimidated when you've changed a person's diapers and know that he slept with a Transformers' nightlight until he went off to college.
Shocked into silence by the older woman's bold and unexpected question the remaining guests, including Derek's sisters sat dumbstruck. With stunned expressions and food laden forks suspended half-way to their mouths they remained frozen in time like out of some strange scene from a movie.
David Rossi, not surprisingly, was the first to move. Picking up his chair he angled it toward the trio at the opposite end of the table.
"What are you doing? Hotch whispered never taking his eyes away from the mother and son.
"Getting a ringside seat," Dave chuckled before sitting back down and making himself comfortable. "This has been a long time coming and I don't want to miss a thing."
Fran started to speak but found herself distracted by how Penelope's skin tone changed from a milky white to fire engine red. She had never seen anything like it. How was it possible for a human being to overheat that much and still live?
With one last worry for her future daughter-in-law's well-being, Fran's waved a dismissive hand at her irate son.
"I'm not talking to you, dear." She stated as if censuring a small child instead of the one of the brightest and bravest agents to ever grace the BAU.
"So how about it? I think you two would make a lovely couple." She said smiling sweetly hoping to ease some of the young woman's discomfort. After all, she didn't want to scare the poor girl away.
The poor girl couldn't believe what was happening. One minute she's staring into D's chocolate fudge brownie eyes silently cursing him for being so darn loveable and so tragically unattainable and the next his mother is doing some freaky Vulcan mind meld trick and reading her thoughts.
Aware of the beads of sweat forming on her brow and pooling under her bra line, Penelope's eyes darted left to the far end of the table but if she was hoping for one of her friends to come to her rescue she was sorely disappointed.
Looking more like a statue than a flesh and blood woman, Emily's brown eyes were as wide as saucers while her mouth formed a perfect "O". At least JJ looked somewhat sympathetic but the silently mouthed 'Wow' was not much comfort at all.
Reid? Well he was busy being Reid. After the initial surprise had worn off he had gone back to devouring his third helping of Caesar salad. Damn him and his unnatural love of anchovies!
And no way in H-E-double hockey sticks was she even going to think about sneaking a peak at Morgan.
As soon as mommy dearest turned into mommy matchmaker, he had whipped his arm from the back of her chair. Up until then his hand had been making the most delicious swirling motions along her shoulders and on the back of her neck. The abrupt absence of his touch left her feeling exposed and vulnerable and altogether silly for missing it.
If his reaction was any indication, he was thoroughly horrified by the mere suggestion that they become more than friends.
That hurt. Probably more than it should but hurt it did.
Meanwhile Derek couldn't believe that his mother actually went there. It's one thing to nag him during their weekly phone calls. It's entirely another thing to embarrass his best friend on her first visit to meet his family.
When his mom had invited the team to the house for dinner Derek couldn't wait to show off his Baby Girl. He just knew that his mom and sisters would fall in love with her just like he did.
Well he didn't mean in love as in love what he meant was…ah hell he didn't know what he meant anymore. It was bad enough that his mom's nagging was starting to stir up feelings he had to fight hard to keep at bay.
Clearing her throat, Penelope struggled to think of something funny to say. Maybe if she pasted on a smile and played the question off as a joke just maybe she would get out of this with her pride intact. Instead, she turned into a blubbering idiot.
"I…I mean…he doesn't…we don't…"
"Mom, please stop." Derek pleaded hoping his mom would take pity on them and drop the subject.
"Morgan, don't interrupt your momma when she's talking." Rossi reprimanded. His words would've had more bite if it wasn't for the shit-eating grin that lit up his face.
Usually a non violent person, Penelope secretly vowed to kick Rossi in the shin as soon as she got within striking distance. On second thought, she'd use the business end of her stiletto and spike him in the foot until he cried uncle. That'll him teach him to mind his own beeswax!
Too busy thinking up new ways to inflict pain on Bossman #2, Penelope was the only one to miss Fran's appreciative smile and coy glance at the older man. A glance that earned her a saucy wink in return.
And not for the first time that evening, Dave took note of Fran's stunning eyes and full lips and wondered if she was seeing anyone. Maybe the next time he was in the area he'd stop by and…
Derek's gruff "Don't even think about it" forced Rossi out of his daydream.
He took a wild guess and assumed that death by castration was the likely outcome of sleeping with the younger agent's mother.
Determined to leave this world with the same equipment he entered with, Rossi raised his hands in the universal symbol of surrender. Death he could deal with; a ball-less death was another matter entirely.
Returning her focus back to the blushing woman, Fran continued her line of questioning.
"You find Derek attractive, don't you?"
"Yes."
"Do you love him?"
"Of course but…"
"And he loves you back." This was more of a statement than a question.
"I know but he…"
"So he's single and you're single. Wait, you are still single?"
Nodding Penelope wished for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.
"So give me one good reason why you two shouldn't be together?"
Recalling his days as a prosecutor, Hotch couldn't help but think that Mrs. Morgan would have made a worthy adversary in the court room. Quick, determined and prepared her cross-examination skills would have been legendary.
"Mom, Penelope just got out of a relationship. Maybe she's not ready for another one." Derek offered, although part of him hoped the opposite was true. Annoyed with himself, he sharply told that part of him to shut up.
"Pssh, that's not a good reason," his mother dismissed with a shake of her head. "You know what they say about climbing back up on a horse after falling off. And you my boy are just the horse she needs."
"Did she just compare her son to a horse?" Emily asked JJ causing both of them to burst into laughter.
"Now Penelope, do you want children? Don't you think that Derek would make a great father?" Even to her own ears, the questions were rhetorical.
First off what woman wouldn't want to have babies with Derek? And secondly, it would be a shame to let those perfectly good hips go to waste. The young woman was built to have babies.
"Yes and yes." Penelope stammered, her eyes darting around the room looking for the most viable escape route. She felt like Tank Girl when she was bound to a chair being interrogated by the ruthless Kesslee – well minus the snappy dialogue and the whole waterless world part.
"Did you want them with that ex of yours? Calvin or was his name Kyle…" Fran questioned trying to recall the name of the man who unknowingly was the reason behind her son's extra visits to the dentist.
"Kevin." Reid chimed in as he reached for the parmesan and cheese grater. He hadn't eaten since breakfast and this spread was too good to pass up.
"Thank you, Spencer." For a skinny boy he sure could eat. Fran made a mental note to remember to pack him a doggy-bag for the plane ride home. The extra calories would do his body good.
"So where was I?" She asked wanting to get back on topic.
"Children." Reid offered before taking a huge bite of his salad.
Shooting Reid a dirty look, Penelope added him to her revenge list. She wouldn't spike him. Instead she would put his profile on the casual encounters section of Craigslist. Young Submissive Seeks Dominant Cougar had a nice ring to it.
"Yes, children. Did you want them with that Kevin?"
"I never really thought about it," she answered her voice barely above a whisper.
"Dear, from what I understand the two of you were together for 3 years. If you didn't think about it in all that time then your answer is clearly 'No'.
"Maybe he's gay." Feeling left out of the conversation, Desiree the youngest Morgan shouted from her seat between JJ and Reid.
"Kevin?" Emily asked trying to keep up.
Shaking her head, Desiree pointed her fork at her brother. "No, Derek. Maybe Derek's gay."
"Are you gay, dear?" Fran's voice was gentle and loving. She knew how hard it was for young people to come out even in this day and age.
"I'm not gay." Derek punctuated his statement by throwing a dinner roll at his giggling sister.
A former Big Ten quarterback, Derek's throwing arm was still strong but Desiree's reflexes were sharper. Being the youngest and smallest of the family, years of sibling torment had honed her self-preservation skills to perfection. Ducking low and to the right, the cheese roll sailed over her head and hit Reid in the face.
Stunned, Reid looked left to right and up and down trying to figure out the origin of the flying object. Not getting an answer, he shrugged his shoulders and continued eating.
"Well, you can dance," commented Emily her head cocked to the side as she contemplated the possibility of her partner being gay.
"And you do know how to dress," added JJ taking pleasure in Derek's death-stare.
"And you're always so impeccably groomed," Rossi deadpanned.
Shooting the older agent a look of disbelief he shouted, "So are you!"
"Yeah, but I'm Italian," he responded as if that was explanation enough.
"Sweetie, I don't care if you're gay but being gay is no excuse for not giving me grandchildren," his mother argued. "Steve and Jerome from two doors down are a lovely couple with two beautiful little boys. Rumor has it they're about to adopt a third from…"
"For once and for all, I am not gay!" Derek fell back in his chair in exasperation.
His family was going to be the death of him. Sure he wanted more but his Baby Girl deserved better than a guy who was terrified of commitment.
"Then what's the problem, dear?" Fran asked thoroughly confused.
"There is no problem." He lied. "Garcia and I are just good friends."
Derek knew that it was better that way. At least their friendship was a sure thing – a forever type of bond. With marriage and babies there was just too much to lose.
"But marrying your best friend practically guarantees a long lasting marriage." Sarah threw out beating her mother to the punch.
"Not necessarily the American Psychological Association puts divorce rates in the U.S at somewhere between 45% and 50%. And there's no correlation between being friends first and having a successful marriage. You're just as likely to divorce or stay together if you marry a complete stranger or marry your best friend." Reid interjected happy to debunk a widely believed myth.
Reaching into the bread basket, Sarah picked up a roll and chucked it at the young doctor to shut him up. Her throwing arm may not be as strong as her brother's but hers was more accurate.
"Luckily they're soft or he'd get a concussion." Hotch said to no one in particular.
"Mom, we've talked about this…" Derek began but was interrupted by Penelope.
"You've talked about us? Before today?" If Penelope's eyes got any bigger they'd pop right out of her head and land on her dinner plate.
"Yes, dear he talks about you all the time. Doesn't he girls?"
"All the time." Desiree agreed winking at her blushing brother.
"You're pretty much all he ever talks about." Sarah confirmed. Above all else she wanted her little brother to be happy and Penelope was just the one to make it happen.
Sighing Derek played his final trump card determined to put an end to the conversation. "Even if we wanted to give it a try there's the FBI's no fraternization rule to deal with. Coworkers are not allowed to date."
"But Penelope and Kevin dated and they work together." Sarah pointed out.
"Kevin and I don't work on the same team," explained Penelope only half listening. Her Hot Stuff talks to his family about her. A lot. A little seed of hope began to grow in her heart.
"Aaron, won't you make an exception for them?" Fran knew appealing to the senior agent was her best chance at shooting down this one last obstacle.
Derek and Hotch answered at the same time.
"No"
"Yes."
"What?" Derek and Penelope asked in unison.
"You don't work together in the field, at least not often. I see no reason why it can't work." Looking pointedly at Derek, Hotch decided to call the younger man's bluff. "That is, unless you don't want it to. Your call."
TBC
Thanks for your patience and please review. I'm working on the final chapter now.