A/N- Thank you for reading and sticking with the story. i appreciate you. So, it has come to this, Stefs big speech. Well, the first half of it anyway. The 'i love you' half and the 'but you made stupid choices' half is next. If you get the chance please leave a review and let me know what you think. Hope you have a great day (I know Fostersless Mondays are never as good). Enjoy!
As always- I don't own The Fosters, all i own is this slice of cold pizza.
Lena POV
"She is. I think it's time we all have a talk." Callie's head whips around and eyes grow wide at my words. The color she just got back drained from her face again. She starts talking a mile a minute, voice raising in fear. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I just wanted to sleep. I'm sorry. I was just so tired. I didn't mean to steal. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" The tears are streaming down her face as she keeps apologizing hiccuping with the tears. It's quickly turned into hyperventilating. I wrap my arms quickly around her and slide her onto my lap, any other time she'd be arguing that she's too big for this. I know she feels safer this way, knowing for certain she's not alone. I start whispering in her ear that she's safe and teaching her how to breathe again. Stef runs and gets a cold face cloth placing on the back of the girls neck and kneeling in front of us.
"Love. Look at me please." Stef begged while her voice still whispered. Callie lifted her head and Stef was so close she had nowhere to look but her eyes. "I need you to listen to me right now, okay? Not just hear me but truly listen." Callie squirmed a bit in my arms but ultimately nodded. "Thank you baby. This is so important. Mama and I love you so much." I could feel the girl stiffen when Stef called me her mama but Callie didn't make an attempt to protest. My love must have realized this too as she continues with "I know. I know you're afraid to let us come close because you think we'll leave you. You think that this, this place, this love, this happiness, is only temporary. You're afraid to think of us as your moms too because its inevitable we will hurt you. That your heart can't stand that amount of pain. That this is the time it will actually kill you. I don't know everything you've been through, and I am so sorry for all of it, you never deserved that. But, what I do know is that in this house you are safe. In our hearts you are loved. In this life you matter. Everyone breaks sometimes and seeing the sun shine through the broken pieces makes the light look so much brighter. But we want to help you feel whole again. No matter what you are ours and we will do everything we can to protect you and remind you that you are loved."
The tears that have made my vision hazy are now released, washing my eyes for a clearer view of Stef and of the beauty of her soul. I feel Callie shaking against me as she cries as well. Stef has silent tears streaking her face as she continues. "You have been so brave, so strong, but now you have us. You're not alone, you don't have to be brave anymore, you have been long enough. It's okay to let us help you, you don't have to be strong all the time. You are going to have bad days, we all do, but that doesn't mean that it's a bad life. Never apologize for those days because you are allowed to feel whatever you are feeling. There is a reason that caused it and we can talk through it. It doesn't mean you get to give in to the voices that say we'll throw you away, because my love you are not disposable, you are not worthless. Please let us love you, learn what it feels like to be loved. I know it's new and scary but we will help you though it. I regret a few things in my life" Stef releases a small laugh at a memory "but it's never been the things I have done, only the things I never did. That I talked myself out of or let someone else tell me was wrong. But it doesn't matter what other people think sweetie. All that matters is that it makes you happy. Please let us love you, let me prove you won't regret it. You are part of this family, you make us happy. And sometimes when you think no one is looking, I see you smile and know that you are happy too. That this family makes you happy too."
We all remain frozen. Afraid to move or breathe that the moment would shatter like the mirror the other night. The room is shrouded by silence, only occasionally broken by a sob or heavy sigh from the girl in my arms. All our tears start to dry and breath comes easier. Callie finally replies, her voice barely a whisper. "I don't know how to do this. How to let anyone in. You're right, it scares me. What scares me more than anything is what I'll do when I get taken away. When I get thrown back into another cold dark room after this. I think it will break me beyond anything else." Stef interrupts the girl. "No love, there is no when, there is no if. I will do anything I have to in order to keep you with our family. You belong with us." Callie nods and continues "I'm willing to try. For you I will try. I would do anything for this family, like I would do anything for Jude. I'm just glad that in this house I don't have to. I know we are safe here and I couldn't ask for anything more." Her voice drops to a whisper as she finishes, if I wasn't so close I wouldn't have heard it. "But, please don't leave me."
I just hug the girl tighter and with as much determination as I've ever had in my life say "Never." Stef gets us and sits next to us, we're all lost in an embrace and make no attempt to move. Maybe its a good thing she broke down so hard last night. If it makes us closer makes her trust us. I look to Stef and know what she's thinking. We need to ask the other kids about adopting Callie and Jude so we can tell them soon. So we can officially be their forever home. Then the moment is over. "We do need to talk about you stealing from us, taking medications that are not prescribed to you, and then trying to hide it from us. That is not okay."