A/N- Thanks for reading! I appreciate you! This story is starting to wrap up (3 more i think) but you knew from the start it was only between episodes. Do you guys want a sequel? or a whole new story? please let me know and leave a review if you get the chance. It helps me gauge things. Been a rocky week here but every day is a new start. Hope you had a great week and have a kick-ass weekend! Enjoy!
As always- I don't own The Fosters, i only own this sheet of bubble wrap (*pop*)
Lena POV
Soon enough we hear the front door click and the unmistakable sound of our childrens feet. I hear Brandon rush upstairs, Mariana following chatting on her phone, Jesus rolling into the kitchen. How many times do we have to tell him no skateboarding in the house? Last I hear the hesitant shuffle of Jude, I can tell he's standing by the doorway without even looking up. I shift and reach out my arms "Jude, baby, come here." He slowly takes his paces until right by us. His eyes never leaving his sleeping sister. "She's okay, I promise. Please sit with me, let me hold you. I need a hug." Finally he looks over at me, our eyes meeting and the tears he's been holding in are released silently marking his pale skin. He climbs into my lap and I pull the blanket back over us. I hold him close as we just sit there in the silence. Content in being in each others arms, in being wanted, in being loved, in being a family.
There was a crash upstairs, I'm guessing was Jesus. Callie jumped awake at the sound. Which was quickly followed by a yell down the stairs that confirmed my suspicions. "I'm okay!" Yup Jesus. I don't want to leave my position here so I'll accept that for now and talk to him later about it. Now that Callie is awake I think we should start talking to the kids though. Jude first, as I'm unsure of his extent of knowledge about the subject at hand. I look at Stef and she seems to be thinking the same thing. I'm grateful we're on the same page so often. It breaks my heart when we're arguing.
"So, mama and I want to talk to you guys. Okay?" Stef said looking at Jude. He nods but leans further into me, like he's afraid I'll let go. So I wrap my arms tighter and place a kiss on his temple. "I know this isn't going to be easy but a team only works when they're on the same field. And that's what we are, right? A team?" Stef continues as she looks down at Callie who nods but refuses to raise her head. I think she's afraid of what she'll see in Judes eyes, she's been fighting to protect him from the evil in the world for so long. Clearly, the girl has done a great job at it, you can tell by the innocence and purity of the boy in my arms. I just wish she were as innocent.
"Okay, do you want to start or do you want me to talk?" Stef asks the shaking girl. We only get a furious shaking of her head in response. "Hey, hey, hey. That's okay love. It's okay." I utter as I watch Stef place her hand against Callie's head bringing it back to her chest, halting the jolting movements of the child. "You're okay. You don't have to do anything, okay love. I've got you." Stef whispers leaving three kisses to Callie's temple. The girl releases a whimper, but her actions cease and she just wraps her arms tighter around Stef, I can tell she's trying to breathe normally. Jude looks up at me with confusion swirling in his eyes, I just look back silently promising everything will work out. He seems to understand as he leans back into me.
Callie POV
I hear them telling Jude what happened. I'm not listening though. I can't listen. I can't hear them talk about me like that. Like a victim. I shiver when I hear them say the dreaded 'r' word. I just can't. If I was in the present I would be broken beyond belief; and I'm broken enough already thankyouverymuch. I also don't want to see that look in Jude's eye. That house was pretty good for us and he got mad when we got kicked out. When I got us kicked out. The hate in his eyes as he cried and yelled that I 'messed up a good place' I can stand. What I can't stand, what I'll never be able to stand, is looking into his eyes and seeing pity.
I feel the boys small hand reach out and grab mine. I hold back tightly, hoping to reassure him that everything is okay. I'm not sure it is, but like always I need him to think that is is. Because I will always try my best to protect what's left of his innocence in this cruel world. But here, this house, it protects us both. There's love without conditions, regular food, acceptance, family. Everything we've ever wanted. For some reason I can't help but to be waiting for the other shoe to drop. Something will go wrong, it always does. Why doesn't that mean I can enjoy it for now. Not get used to it, no, but at least breathe easier knowing I'm safe. Why is it this hard to accept the chance that someone loves us as much as our mother did. It's not supposed to be this hard.
It's not that I even really heard them talking but I can tell when they're done. I can hear the silence. Feel the quiet. The lack of sound in a house so large is always so unsettling to me. I think it just reminds me of the cold quiet nights in the jail cell. It's funny how quickly I got used to the sound. I think that's part of why I feel so comfortable here, we're never alone. Not abandoned to our own devices. Sure, it gets annoying sometimes and I'll escape to the backyard and lose myself leaning against the tree and staring at the sky. But, it's never too much. It's what I imagine family is supposed to be. That makes it more confusing as to why they haven't sent me away yet. I was never meant for a family.
"Slugabug, we want to talk to everyone before dinner okay?" No! No that's not okay. What the heck is with you people and talking everything through? Seriously?! Can't you just forget something without talking about it first. This family is big on forgive why can't you be big on forget and not talking and ignoring things. "You know we do need to tell them, yes?" She says against my ear. No! No I don't know that. Why do you have to tell them anything? I know I won't win though, I never seem to. You and your stupid logic. Ugh. Fine, you know what? You tell them whatever you want. I don't have to hear it. "Fine. Can't. Please. Sleep." I mumble almost incoherently, I know they hate it but they're lucky I'm saying anything right now. They seem to know it too and don't reprimand me for the garbled speech. "Okay love. Let me take you up to mama and my bed. Lena do you mind herding cats?" Stef jokes as she stands lifting me with her. I'm still curled up in her arms and make no attempt to move, I always feel safe in her arms. The comfort scares me.