Thanks again for the two awesome reviewers who have given me the motivation to keep writing this story. This chapter is mostly Rachel and Janet, with a dash of Gill. I hope you enjoy it. Please review :) xxx

Chapter 8

At first, Rachel didn't know what had caused her to wake up. It was some sort of noise but in her sleepy haze, she couldn't quite name it. It was so dark that when she opened her eyes she still couldn't see anything, just hear the quick, panicked breath. The bed beneath her seemed to be moving which confused Rachel further. She reached to turn on the lamp, her job making her alert in most situations and turned over where her eyes lay upon Janet. Something was wrong with her, but Rachel for an endless moment didn't know what that may be. Janet seemed to be asleep, but her body was producing jerky movements, her face held an expression of angst, and tears were streaking down her cheeks. The noises Rachel had heard were Janet's gasps which were interspersed with quiet mutterings that she couldn't quite make out. For a few seconds - though it felt like much longer - Rachel was in a dreamlike daze not really knowing what to think or how to act. Fortunately, her senses kicked in and she realized that Janet was having a nightmare. As soon as she knew this, she shifted up closer to Janet and began to try and coax her out of her sleep. 'Jan? Janet? Come on, love, it's me. It's Rach. You're okay, you're going to be okay. Come on honey, wake up for me, yeah?' It didn't seem to be working, Janet seemed to be trapped in this bad dream, and Rachel was reluctant to touch her in case it made her worse. 'Janet!' she said louder, hating the frightened expression on Janet's face. 'Wake UP! Come on, love. You're here, with me, it's okay.' Her voice rose with every word, and finally Janet looked to be waking up. Feeling more able to now, Rachel slid her arm beneath Janet and pulled her closer, gently stroking her hair back with her free hand.

'What..? Is it..?' As Janet opened her eyes, she looked wildly around, unable to control the tremors that were racking her body. 'I..' she trailed off once more, the tears still flowing forcefully, panic engulfing her.

'Shhhhh,' Rachel whispered into the top of her head. 'Calm down, sweetheart. It's okay. It's okay.' Rachel's mind wandered off as she continued to try and physically comfort Janet, and she thought of how weird it was that these endearments were rolling off her tongue. She never used terms like 'sweetheart' or 'honey', but with Janet it came naturally. The thought warmed her slightly, maybe she wasn't a cynical old bitch after all.. well, not all the time anyway.

Janet's breathing started to slow, her eyes ceasing its inspection of her surroundings, and she held Rachel tightly, feeling comforted in her arms.

After a few minutes, Rachel disturbed the silence. 'Are you okay, love? Is there anything I can do?'

'Er- no. It's enough that you're here, thank you. Sorry about that. I'm fine now.' Janet replied, her voice sounding small and weary.

'What was that about? Do you want to talk about it?'

'Um, do you.. do you mind if I don't right now? It was just a bad dream. That's all. Nothing to worry about.'

Rachel frowned slightly, though Janet couldn't see it from where she lay. 'Of course, hon. As long as you're okay, that's all that matters. Do you think you can get back to sleep, or shall we go into the living room and watch some TV for a while?' Rachel was exhausted, but she knew she would stay up as long as Janet needed her.

'No, it's okay. I'm tired, and I'm guessing you are too. Let's just sleep.' Janet pulled herself out of Rachel's arms, lifted her head and kissed Rachel tenderly on the lips before turning over on her side away from Rachel and pulling her girlfriend's arm around her waist.

'Night, sweetheart.' Rachel whispered in Janet's ear, holding her gently and waiting to hear her even breathing that would signal she was asleep. Soon enough Janet was asleep, and Rachel relaxed her grip and laid on her back, the room gently lit by the lamp still shining unobtrusively on the bedside cabinet. After a few minutes she realized her mind wasn't shutting off - sod's law - so she got up, grabbed her phone and padded into the kitchen. Looking up at the clock, she saw that it was 3.40am. Sighing, Rachel pulled a cigarette out of the packet, lit it, and opened the kitchen window. Her head was banging and she felt nauseous, which she knew was because of the pure amount of bloody alcohol that she had insisted on swigging through the night. After she finished her cigarette, she closed the window, headed to the cupboard where she retrieved some paracetamol, moved over to the sink and got a glass of water and then took the tablets, hoping this would fend off any hangover that she might have experienced in the morning. With that, she tip-toed back to bed, resuming her position holding Janet and allowed sleep to take her.

xxx

'Rach?' Janet said gently, smoothing back Rachel's hair and hoping that this tender approach would wake her up.

'Ugh!' Rachel responded, rolling away from the touch and pulling the duvet in tighter.

Janet laughed. 'You're worse than Elise in the mornings, and that's saying something. Come on, missus, it's almost midday.'

Rachel slowly turned back, blinking furiously at the sunlight that painfully confronted her tired eyes. 'Midday?' she croaked. 'What day is it?'

'It's Saturday, don't worry. But you need to get your arse out of bed because we need to pick up Gill and then you both can get your cars from work. Come on, I've bought you a cup of tea.'

'Tea? Very nice! Could get used to this!' Rachel said a midst a rather huge yawn, sitting up in bed and looking at Janet.

'Don't get any ideas! Just thought you might be a bit.. dehydrated.. after your drinking session last night.' she smirked, handing the tea over before leaning forward to give Rachel a lingering kiss.

'Oh God. Last night. I barely remember anything.' Rachel paused, racking her brains for some sort of clue as to what she'd got up to the night before. She instinctively checked her hands. 'It doesn't look like I punched anything, but just to be safe.. did I?'

'No, silly sod. You didn't. You just got hammered, which isn't much of a change from usual is it?!' Janet joked, watching as Rachel stuck out her tongue and had a sip of tea.

'Mmm... nice. How come you never get a hangover? My head is pounding, but look at you! You're dressed and everything!'

'Um, I'm not only dressed, I've showered, I've tidied up the place, I've done my make-up. Nothing left to do but wake you, lazy bones! And as for my lack of hangovers, it's because I drink sensibly. You should read up on it sometime!' she rolled her eyes, though was unable to hide her smile.

'Hardy har, little miss joke-a-minute. Have you phoned Gill to tell her we'll be coming over soon?' The tea was making Rachel feel a bit more human, and she wanted to get the boring jobs out of the way - letting Gill get her car being one of those jobs - and spend as much time as she could with her partner.

'Yeah.. no answer. But I told her last night that we would, so she's probably expecting us. Get a shower and while you're doing that, I'll sort the washing out. I wanna give the kids a ring as well to see how they're doing.' While saying this, Janet pulled the duvet off of Rachel and stood back to allow room for Rachel to get up.

'Okay, okay, I'm getting up! Oh, tell the kids I say hello, will you?' Rachel responded as she stood up, feeling the chill hit her and shivering slightly. 'Can you hold off on the washing until I get in the shower? I can't believe I didn't get unchanged last night, I must have been pissed. Gross.'

'Ha. Yeah of course, love. Just throw them outside of the bathroom before you get in the shower and I'll sort them out.' She picked up Rachel's mug, planted another kiss upon Rachel's lips and left the room.

xxx

'I thought you said she'd be expecting us?' Rachel hissed under her breath, giving Janet a questioning look.

'I thought she would be! She doesn't have her car, she couldn't have gone anywhere! I'll ring the bell again, if we don't get an answer, I'll call her home phone.' Janet replied.

They were stood outside of Gill's house, unable to get a response. Even if Gill wasn't in, both ladies were confused as to why Sammy hadn't opened the door.

'Oooh.. do you think something's happened?' Rachel asked, her mind going immediately to the worst case scenario.

'Don't be stupid! Course not! I'll ring her phone. Hang on.'

Two minutes later they heard footsteps and the door opened, revealing Gill, who looked rather like Rachel felt. 'What bloody time is it?' Gill asked, bleary-eyed.

'It's 1pm.' Janet said simply, waiting for Gill to take a step back so that she and Rachel could enter. 'Put the kettle on and we'll wait in the kitchen while you get yourself sorted.' Rachel never knew how Janet could talk with such ease when in conversation with Godzilla. She was almost jealous, mostly because she knew that she would never, not in a million years, be able to have that sort of camaraderie with her boss. Even when she attempted it, she ended up looking like a tit.

Gill sighed and led her colleagues into the kitchen - Rachel felt like she was entering somewhere out-of-bounds, like a teacher's house or something. She watched as Godzilla flicked on the kettle, pulled three cups out of the dishwasher and grabbed the milk out of the fridge. 'Sammy's gone into town to meet Orla. He left me a note. Right. Sort these out yourselves. I'll be back down soon.' Gill reached for her handbag, pulling out some aspirin while Rachel nodded to herself sagely.. at least there was one thing they had in common.

xxx

'Fucking hell, last night.. I'm probably skint today.' Gill muttered to the two women, all of them staring into their drinks, hands wrapped around the mugs.

'You know that when you offer everyone a free night out your pocket is definitely going to suffer. Especially with this team, we can all put a good load of alcohol away.' Janet smiled, feeling a tiny bit smug that she clearly didn't feel anywhere near as bad as the ladies she was with. People might call her a bit of a humbug, but spreading her drinks through the night really was a good idea.

'What exactly happened last night?' Gill looked at each woman in turn, feeling slightly nervous, knowing that when she didn't remember the night before she usually regretted finding out the events.

'Yeah! What DID happen?' Rachel piped up, having fruitlessly tried to pump Janet for information all through the car journey over to Gill's.

'Ha! You're both disgraceful!' Janet grinned, getting ready to launch herself into the tales of the night before. 'Okay, so YOU..' she pointed to Rachel, 'spent most of the night putting the world to rights with Kevin.' Rachel looked at her in disbelief. 'Well, when I say put the world to rights, you were basically both sat there for almost 2 hours trying to discover if it was the chicken or the egg which came first.' She couldn't hold back her giggle, remembering snippets of the conversation Rachel and Kevin had shared. When she got herself together again she almost told Rachel about their.. meeting.. in the bathroom before luckily remembering not to in front of Gill, instead making a mental note to remind Rachel later. She looked over to Gill and saw her gazing back, the apprehension clear on her face. 'You were smashed,' Janet said, knowing that her boss was preparing herself for the worst. 'You tried to get me to let you perform karaoke. Luckily for YOU, someone had their wits about them and didn't let you. Then you were on about clubbing, which Rachel jumped on with pissed excitement.' Rachel and Gill looked at each other with a slight sense of embarrassment. 'Honestly, the pair of you were acting like idiots, you almost walked back through the pub on Rachel's back because you wanted a piggy-back. I wouldn't smirk Rach, it was only when I told you to put her down that you did. You thought it was a fab idea!' Janet smiled again, loving the fact that she knew no one had dish to dirt on her. 'Oh, and Gill?' Gill raised her head slightly, cheeks flushed at the information her DS had just departed. 'You almost got yourself a criminal record. You tried to steal the karaoke microphone while swearing profusely.. apparently you were impersonating Eminem. I had to tell the manager that you weren't very well and promise him that I wouldn't let you set foot in there again.'

'Oh dear God,' Gill started, looking mortified. 'If either of you tell ANYONE about this, I will hunt you down.' She stared pointedly at Rachel, who was chuckling quietly.

'Er- Gill. We won't have to tell anyone. About the last part at least. Everyone could hear you shouting when you tried nicking that mic.' Janet replied, desperately trying not to smile. 'It's a good job we didn't go to our usual pub last night, I have a feeling you might be barred from this one.'

'Oh, fucking hell.' Gill groaned, having another gulp of her strong coffee. 'Let's just hope the rest of those mugs at work will have been as pissed as me and don't remember how much of a twat I looked. Right,' she set her now empty cup down, wincing at the thud it made against the wooden table. 'Let's go get our cars.'

xxx

'See you later, boss.' Rachel called, not receiving any indication that Gill had heard though not getting a reply didn't exclusively mean that Godzilla was out of earshot. 'That woman is so RUDE!' Rachel whispered to Janet, watching as Gill's car left the car park.

'She's not rude, it's just the way she is.' Janet placated, as she usually did. 'Now, is there any point in bringing your car home? We can ride to work together on Monday, and you can drive it home after work then.'

'Yeah, okay then.' She replied as she got back into Janet's car. When Janet was in also, she looked over at her. 'Did you see Gill's face when you told her about that microphone? That is priceless!'

Janet laughed. 'Yeah, sure is. I'm kinda used to being the messenger of the night before when it comes to you two though. It's good, it makes me remember why I shouldn't get too drunk.'

Rachel stuck her tongue out. 'I wasn't that bad, considering. Thanks for looking after me.'

Janet put the car into action and glanced fleetingly at Rachel. She placed her hand on Rachel's knee. 'Well.. there WAS something I didn't tell Gill.'

When Rachel looked over to Janet, she could see the grin on her face. 'Oh shit. What did I do?'

'WE...' Janet started, 'Got a little bit..' she was enjoying dragging this out, 'hot..' her hand moved up Rachel's leg slightly, 'and heavy..' further up again, 'in the toilets.' it was now mid-thigh, Janet's hand curling around and her fingers pressed between Rachel's jean-clad inner thighs.

For a moment, Rachel couldn't speak. Her eyes closed and her heart started racing at the feel of Janet's hand, the intimacy of her touch. 'Did- did we?' her voice seemed particularly breathy, but for once, she didn't care.

Janet noted her girlfriend's change of tone and sneaked a glance at her face before quickly returning her eyes to the road ahead, her free hand placed firmly on the steering wheel, a smile on her face. 'Mhmm,' she replied, her hand mover higher up Rachel's thighs. 'We did. It was..' her hand could go no further now. It was wedged tight, and she could feel Rachel try to get some friction while attempting to feign nonchalance '.. nice. You don't hold back once you've had a drink, love.' She pushed her hand as far as she could into the apex of Rachel's thighs, hearing Rachel respond with a sharp gasp, seeing Rachel's eyes fly open with a look of poorly-disguised lust, before removing her hand and placing it to join her other one on the wheel.

Any headache that Rachel had just had was now long gone, or at the very least it didn't register with her at the moment. Her body felt as if it were on fire, her heart was pounding rather erratically and her mouth was bone-dry. When she felt able, she turned her head and looked at Janet, her eyes hooded with desire. 'Wha-' she croaked, cleared her voice, and tried again. 'What was that?!' Janet kept her eyes on the road ahead, biting on her lower lip in an attempt to stifle the grin that was fighting to spread over her face. Rachel looked out the window and saw, with glee, that they were almost home. Thank God, she didn't think she could last much longer.

'Pay back for last night' Janet said softly, not trusting herself to speak at a normal decibel for fear that her voice would give away just how much she wanted her girlfriend right now. 'Not that I had any complaints, mind you.'

At any other time, Rachel would have probably blushed but in this moment, she just sank back into the passenger seat and tried to calm herself down while briefly giving Janet's leg a squeeze. The atmosphere in the car was thick with sexual tension. How it could change from normal conversation to this sort of dense emotion in less than a couple of minutes, and just with a few touches, neither woman could fathom. 'You'll er-..' Rachel's voice was still sounding husky, 'You'll have to remind me. I have a spectacularly vivid memory of being pressed against the wall with you, but you'll have to fill me in on the details.. please.'

'How about I show you when we get inside?' Janet giggled, hardly believing her daring. She wasn't exactly a spring chicken, she had never contemplated sex with a woman before Rachel, yet here she was, making laviscious remarks as if she did so every day. It was remarkable really. It was also pretty remarkable at how well she was driving, given the circumstances. The only logic to it must be that she was so used to driving this route now that she was almost certain she'd be able to do it blindfolded if that were ever required, though she certainly hoped she wouldn't ever have to find out for sure.

Rachel giggled at this teasing, highly charged bantering her and Janet were having, though the laughter stopped short as Janet pulled up against her building and her heart started picking up speed again. As soon as the ignition was turned off, both Rachel and Janet wordlessly got out of the car, and Janet followed Rachel through the main building door and they reached the flat front door. Rachel suddenly started fumbling with the keys, her excitement causing her to shake slightly, and it took a minute or so for her to get it open. As soon as she did, Janet nudged her through the door and when they were both in the hallway, Rachel spun around to face her girlfriend and gently pushed her back, effectively closing the door at the same time. As soon as Janet was leant against the door, Rachel stepped forward and allowed her lips to roughly press against Janet's with a sense of urgency. Their lips moved together in a frenzied synchronicity as their hands rushed to explore each other's bodies, both feeling impatient with their clothing preventing them to getting what they really wanted. After a couple of minutes of fumbling, Rachel moaned in frustration and pulled back, leaving Janet feeling rather breathless and wobbly, strands of her hair breaking away from the bun she'd created earlier. As soon as their bodies parted, Janet reached for Rachel's hand and pulled her into the bedroom immediately letting go of it when they crossed the threshold, leaving Rachel in the doorway and crossing to the other side of the room, causing them both to stare longingly at each other, panting with lust. Their need for each other dashed the notion of sexily prolonging this moment and they both met in the middle of the room, Rachel stood at the end of the bed and Janet there just in front of her. They reached for each other at the same time and fell onto the bed, not breaking their grasp on each other as they hit the mattress with a slight bounce. While their passionate kissing resumed, Rachel's hands tore at Janet's top, hastily undoing the buttons and pulling the shirt off completely when they were undone. Although all Rachel wanted to do was place her hands over Janet's half naked body, Janet had other ideas and they worked together in co-operation to remove Rachel's top. Now they were both in their trousers and bras, Janet straddled Rachel, sat on her waist, legs resting against each side of her girlfriend's body and Rachel gasped with pleasure, feasting her eyes on Janet's upper body, her hands darting towards her to feel every inch of skin that was available. Janet, in turn, leaned forward, most of her hair now free from the bun and draping over Rachel's face and tickling lightly against her neck, her hands in a slow teasing fashion roaming over Rachel's torso and her lips trailing down her neck in rough kisses. As moans of desire sliced through the lust thickened air, the women continued to explore with abandon...

xxx

'Fuck ME!' Rachel gasped, flopping down on the pillow, attempting to catch her breath. 'I never.. I never even knew it could be like that. It could be that good. Jesus Christ!' she turned her head to gaze over at Janet who looked completely sated and had a soppy grin on her face.

'I know. Who bloody knew? If I'd known that when I was younger.. well, I might have swung the other way a bit sooner!' she poked Rachel playfully.

'Oi! Cheeky bitch! How do you know that it would be as good with anyone but me?!' Rachel replied with a look of mock-annoyance.

'Gotta good point there, my love.' Janet turned serious. 'It wouldn't have been. No doubt about it. This wasn't just about having a casual shag and moving on, this was about feelings and emotions and being here, with YOU. Having mind-blowing sex with someone I have very deep feelings for.' she brushed the hair that was now sticking to her skin with perspiration from her face and leaned over to give Rachel a soft and tender kiss, a contradiction to the passionate and explosive sex they had just enjoyed.

Rachel sighed, a feeling of content washing over her. 'I know what you mean. There is no other woman I would have wanted to share.. that.. with. I think we did well in regards to not succumbing to it sooner for how many days we managed. I almost jumped you in the car, you big tease!' she smiled happily, shifting closer to Janet and laying her head on Janet's chest, their naked bodies entangled beneath the sheets. 'Just a warning though, chick.. there will be no stopping me now. I'm going to want you.. all. The. Time!'

Janet grinned into Rachel's hair. 'Absolutely fine by me, love. I was so nervous about actually having sex with you, I felt like a teenager who was just about to lose her virginity and was worried about if she was going to do it right.' She pulled her lover closer. 'But.. I think we did brilliantly, actually! Well it was brilliant for me anyway.'

'You felt nervous too?' Rachel asked, relief colouring her tone. 'I thought it was just me! Though, I have to say, when it got to it, I felt no nerves. It just came naturally. It was amazing.' They both lapsed into a comfortable silence then, reveling in the feeling of what had just happened, and the happiness of being in each other's arms.

xxx

That evening, Janet and Rachel were cuddling on the sofa watching a rom-com on the television, and just generally relaxing. After they had finally surfaced from the bedroom, a good three hours after they'd first entered, Janet had gone to get a nice Indian takeaway while Rachel put the vacuum cleaner around. And when Janet had come back, they'd devoured the food in front of them and settled down in a relaxed embrace. Both women felt completely at ease, and both women had been unable to wipe their smiles off of their faces. Now watching the film, not overly paying attention to it as they kept each other occupied with numerous snogs, Rachel's mobile rang, causing her to have a little moan before getting up and automatically hitting the 'answer' button.

'Rachel Bailey.'

'Alright, Rach? Just me, checking in.' Ali replied, doing her usual mothering job by phoning her little sister at least twice a week.

For once, Rachel didn't make a face at the phone, nor did she feel the usual annoyance that her sister had phoned. 'I'm alright thanks, Al. How are you doing?' as she spoke, she watched Janet and felt an overwhelming surge of positive emotion.

'Yeah not bad, not bad. You know how it is. Holly is moaning at me about not seeing you. I know it sounds like I'm nagging, but will you please come around for tea one night next week? It's been ages.'

'Hang on a minute,' Rachel replied, covering the mouthpiece with her hand and walking towards Janet. 'Ali is going on at me to go over there one night next week, you up for it?'

'Yeah course, love. Definitely can't do Wednesday as I've got to go and see mum with the girls, but any other day is fine.' and with that, she reached forward, pulled on Rachel's top to make her move closer and kissed her gently.

'Hello? Hello? Rachel where the fuck have you gone?' Alison's voice was tinny but understandable as it came over the phone speaker, causing Rachel to remember what she was doing and put the phone back to her ear.

'Sorry, mate. Just had to check when I could come over. Can do any night but Wednesday IF there isn't a big case on at work or something. Sound good to you?'

'Er- yeah. Course it is.' Ali replied warmly, inadvertently making Rachel feel guilty for resisting her affection most of the time while also wondering why on earth she was feeling so.. nice.. towards her sister tonight. 'Shall we say Tuesday?'

'Yep. Hang on, I'll write it down. Oh, Janet will be coming too if that's alright, you know she's been living with me lately, don't ya?' Rachel thought she better make her sister aware that she'd be bringing company, and she knew her sister would think nothing of it seeming as she knew what good friends Rachel and Janet were.

'God yeah, that's fine. It'll be nice to see her, haven't seen her in yonks. Thought you might have brought Sean along.' Ali said, meaning it as a throwaway remark, obviously unaware of the events that had unfolded over the past few days.

'Er- no. It's over. Long story, will tell you when I see you, alright?' Rachel answered, not wanting to tarnish the joyous mood she was in by going over it all.

'What? It's OVER?' Alison seemed to be thinking aloud because she then went on with 'okay Rach. Tell me when you're ready. I have to say though, you're sounding rather chipper in spite of it all. You haven't sounded so.. content.. in ages.'

Rachel smiled to herself, knowing that the cause of that was Janet. 'Yeah, I feel it. Makes a change, huh?'

A little while later, the phone call ended, and when Rachel hung up she marveled at how the conversation went. Usually it would start as it meant to go on, with both sisters sniping at each other, each one on the defensive, and one of them would usually hang up. Rinse and repeat. As she went to sit back down next to Janet, she grinned at all the things that had changed lately. And they'd all changed for the better. And it was all thanks to her wonderful, beautiful, amazing girlfriend.

'You okay, missus?' Janet asked, quietly preparing for the worst as she knew the mood Rachel was usually in after contact with her sister and she hadn't listened into the conversation, without Rachel distracting her, she had gotten quite absorbed in the film.

'Yep. Absolutely fine. Thank you.' her words seemed to have a deeper meaning than what Rachel was actually saying, but Janet didn't have time to dwell on it as Rachel kissed her behind her ear. 'What time are the girls coming over tomorrow?'

'Er-' Janet was momentarily distracted by the kisses Rachel had placed on her sensitive skin. 'Er- tomorrow? About 2ish I think. Can't remember, I'll have to text Elise in the morning.'

'Okay,' Rachel said before snuggling back down again. They turned their attention back to the film which was almost finishing, and for a while were silent. It was while they were sat there that Rachel had another memory hit her from last night. She sat up suddenly, disturbing Janet who looked at her in confusion, and turned to face her girlfriend. 'What happened last night, Jan?'

'Er- don't worry, I told you all the goss! You behaved pretty well for you!' Janet smiled.

'No, hon. I mean when we were home. You had a nightmare, remember?' Rachel probed, eyes filled with concern that made Janet want to cry.

Janet didn't know whether to lie and pretend she didn't know what Rachel was talking about, or get it out in the open and tell her the truth. She opted for honesty, knowing that if their relationship was going to work it had to be built on strong foundations. 'I just.. I had a bad dream.' Although she was choosing honesty, she didn't want to divulge more than she had to.

'I know. What was it about though? You were terrified, it scared ME watching you.' Rachel said, rubbing small circles on Janet's back.

'Er- okay. The thing is.. ugh.' Janet didn't know how to start. This was something she had kept from almost everyone, the only one who knew was Ade and that had been because they'd shared a bed. 'I have nightmares. Bad, really scary nightmares. Usually about twice a week, though it happens more if I'm particularly stressed.' She looked at Rachel, her eyes filled with fear and she spoke in hushed tones. 'It's.. well.. it's been happening since what happened with Geoff.'

'Oh God.' Rachel said, her first emotion being maternal and now feeling intense anger. 'That fucking bastard. He should count his sorry ass lucky that he's locked up or I'd sort that prick out.'

'Shhh.. it's okay.' Janet replied, not seeing the irony that she was comforting Rachel and it wasn't the other way around. 'It's getting better over time. When they first started I had them every night. So they are improving.'

'Why didn't you tell me?' Rachel asked, not able to understand why she was feeling so upset, and then realizing that it was because she cared so deeply for her girlfriend that when she got hurt, Rachel did too.

'Because it's stupid. Because I'm embarrassed. Because I don't want anyone to know that he is somehow still ruling my fucking life in some way, even now. Because I don't want to be a victim, I want to be able to get over it and move on, but I'm such a weak cow that I still fucking dream about it.' She sounded so angry, so hurt and vulnerable that Rachel took her in her arms and held her tightly, wanting to somehow make Janet feel how much Rachel cared about her.

'That's nonsense.' Rachel said, kindly. 'There is nothing wrong with YOU. It's HIM. Come on, hon, you know this. You work with people who have experienced horrific things every single day. You wouldn't blame them for being affected would you? You can't help it any more than any of them can. I don't think ANY differently of you, and no one else would either.'

'Thanks, love.' she sounded tired, like sharing this had drained her of any energy she'd had. Her head was tucked beneath Rachel's chin and she felt safe, but completely exhausted. 'Thank you for listening. For being on my side. I'm lucky to have you.'

'That's nonsense too. Anyone would react like I have. You don't see yourself clearly, love. I see the way you react when I comment on how beautiful you are, how much you excite me, how you set my heart racing. You're probably blushing right now, in fact.' she was right, 'And you also don't believe me when I tell you that YOU are amazing. You deserve so much happiness and all I can say is I'm so glad that I've had the privilege of being not only your friend, but now your girlfriend. I'm so proud of you.'

Janet looked up, pretty startled. Rachel was NOT usually the talk-through-your-feelings type of gal. She used humour to deflect anything that might result in talking about emotions. Christ, she must care if she's putting herself out like this.. Janet thought to herself. Rachel looked at her with complete sincerity, and Janet grinned before planting a soft kiss at the corner of Rachel's mouth. 'I AM lucky to have you and I won't forget that. Thank you, love. Now, I'm exhausted. Today has been an amazing and VERY fun day, but I'm shattered now. Can we go to bed?'

'Of course, lady. Come on, bed time.' Rachel stood up, and held Janet's hand as they both headed for the bedroom and a night of cuddling.