CHAPTER 6

PLAN B

Frond's Vegetarium, Haven City, the Lower Elements; Now

"Let me get this straight," began Foaly, rubbing his forehead. "You want me to release a B'wa Kell member. Release a B'wa Kell member? Don't you think that's a bit extreme to ensure your friendship with Arty-boy?"

Holly shrugged, a little uncomfortable. But only a little. "It won't be that bad! I know you can bypass the LEP's systems, and I just need him to create a little havoc…"

Foaly shook his head. "Oh, I know I can bypass the LEP's systems. I wrote them, after all." He briefly let a smug look come over his face before becoming serious again. "But I don't like the idea of releasing a goblin triad member on the people of Haven."

"Awww, come on. You know me - I'll have everything under control."

Foaly raised an eyebrow. "You also have a knack of doing the exact opposite of what it says in the rulebooks."

Holly rolled her eyes. "But technically there aren't any rules against 'accidentally' unlocking a prisoner's cell and chasing him down later. Come on - for me?" She tried a puppy-eye look. It failed spectacularly.

Foaly let out a sigh that sounded more like a snort. "Alright, fine. The look didn't work, but I'll do it or you. But you owe me."

Holly rubbed her hands. "Thanks. I'll get you five cartons of carrots."

"Seven."

"Six from the surface."

"Hmmm…Ireland?"

"The Fowl gardens. No chemicals - the best and the freshest in the world."

"Alright, deal."

"Great. Drive him towards Frond's Vegetarium in...two hours."

Holly rubbed her hands again. Despite what she had told Foaly about trying to make the upcoming encounter less awkward, she was also bored out of her mind. A little action once in a while wouldn't hurt.

That was before Holly almost got hit in the head with a chair.

As always, Butler was first to react, flipping the table to form a makeshift barrier.

"D'arvit," he growled, borrowing from the fairy lexicon. "Where did a goblin spring up from?"

He reached for his handgun, but stopped when Holly yelled, "No!"

Both eyebrows raised in a rare moment of expression, Butler just stared at her before she said, "Fairy law. Why do you think none of our weapons are designed to be fatal?"

In bewilderment (and a little exasperation), Butler released his grip on the Sig Sauer. Ensuring Artemis was safely behind cover, he peeked over the overturned table, forming a situation report in his mind.

"Single attacker. Angry. Twelve at seventy-five. He's a big one." he reported, before turning to Holly to formulate a plan. A fireball hit the tabletop, and Holly could feel the resulting vibration in her teeth.

"You take the buzz baton," Butler started, handing the weapon over. "I'll draw his fire since it's hard to ignore someone of my size. I'll be going this way-" He indicated a route from behind the table that would take him directly perpendicular to the goblin's vantage point. "-before circling around to there." He pointed to a clump of rocks that would provide him cover from the goblin's fireballs. "When I get there, you get in behind him and zap him. Got it?"

Holly nodded, but Artemis frowned. "What should I do?"

Butler just put a massive hand on his shoulder. "You don't need to do anything. We can handle it."

Artemis's frown deepened. "I don't like it", he said, rubbing his eyes. "I don't like sitting idly while you two risk yourselves once again."

Holly punched him in the shoulder, all romantic uneasiness replaced by the camaraderie and mission thrill that had become so strong with their many adventures. "Cheer up, Arty," she said, eyes glinting. "You can risk yourself for me next time."

Artemis snorted at that, a very un-Artemis thing to do, but nevertheless he sat down in cooperation.

Butler peeked around the right side of the table, and nearly got his eyebrows seared off by the fireball sent his way.

"He's much closer now," he reported, eyes hardening. "Fifty meters, tops. Stepping off in five." He counted five seconds, then took off like an Olympic sprinter, making for the end of the straight part of his projected path.

He had dealt with goblins before, and knew that they had the smallest brains of any of the eight fairy families. The goblin would likely aim for where Butler was at any moment, but the combined effects of the fifty-plus meters of distance, Butler's trajectory, and the fireballs' relatively slow speed meant that all of his shots would land behind Butler. On the other hand, if Butler were to stop at any moment he would be a sitting duck.

Best not to stop, then, he thought, as he sharply kicked off his right foot and began his circular approach to the cluster of rocks.

Holly watched as Butler reached the halfway point of his arc before vaulting over the table and sprinting towards the goblin.

A fifty meter dash, she thought. It's almost nothing.

In her right hand she twirled the buzz baton expertly, setting it on its medium setting - not enough to cause too much damage, but enough to get through a goblin's scales.

She was halfway to their assailant already, and would be on top of him in less than two seconds. She felt the effects of adrenaline in her system, bringing her the enhanced perception that she loved and lived for.

Then everything went wrong.

In a feat of awareness, coordination, and timing unheard of in most of the rest of his species, the goblin hesitated, having heard the crackling of a buzz baton. As Holly leapt forward for the extra speed that would close the gap faster, he leaned forward and caught her in the head with his left foot, spinning around. As such, the buzz baton merely brushed him - though enough to daze him for several seconds, it was not enough to take him out of action. He shook his head doggedly, then growled as he conjured fire in his left hand. He wondered how a pretty LEP captain would look with a charred face.

Artemis watched Holly vault over the table, and pressed his eye to a crack in the bottom. He watched her eat up the distance between her and the goblin, and saw her leap to plant the buzz baton firmly into the goblin's torso. He felt a whisper of anticipation and a swell of pride as she did so, admiring once again the grace his best friend had under pressure.

Then everything went wrong.

The goblin somehow managed to anticipate the buzz baton, and he had reacted, catching Holly in the left side of her head. Even from this distance, Artemis winced, before he realized that the goblin was following up on his advantage, going in for a kill.

Artemis felt a trickle of ice slide down his spine as he weighed his options.

Butler is too far to be of assistance without violating fairy policies. He is under Haven law and therefore is unable to open lethal fire.

He looked back. The restaurant's servers and patrons have fled the scene. They likely have called authorities, but are otherwise unhelpful in the current situation.

He took a deep breath. That leaves me. What can I do? I have brains, I can think, I can-

Suddenly he smiled. He did have a plan.

The goblin approached the still-unconscious LEP captain. He recognized her as Holly Short, the most hated officer to the B'wa Kell, second only to Julius Root. He felt a flame of triumph as he approached her. Root was dead, thanks to Opal Koboi, but now this goblin had a chance to kill the next-best thing.

The goblin snarled as he took the last step his target, preparing to fire a fireball down the captain's throat. He paused for a second, savoring the moment, before bringing his arm down to deliver the final blow.

Then all hell broke loose.

Butler watched in horror as the plan failed and Holly was thrown to the side. He sprinted out of cover in an attempt to save her, but knew that she would be dead before he got there.

Then Artemis stepped out from behind the table.

It was such a shocking sight; Artemis, who, despite multiple near-death experiences, was unable to hit the broad side of a barn with anything requiring a level of accuracy, was staring at the goblin with a furious light in his eyes. The goblin saw it too, for he hesitated for a split second - just enough time for Artemis to throw back his head and howl.

Artemis stepped out from behind the table. He locked eyes with the goblin, putting all his fury and all his anger into one gaze. The goblin hesitated, feeling a worm of uncertainty work its way into his brain.

Artemis took the moment. He took a deep breath, then howled.

It was the howl from the gorilla cage. A more refined version of the gift of tongues, it required but the fewest of sparks for it to work, and Artemis had just enough magic remaining in his system. He threw everything he had into it - lions, apes, wolves, and eagles. They were all in there. The howl was punctuated by the staccato chatter of monkeys and the hiss of a thousands snakes.

The goblin instinctively stepped back, terrified, and lost all of its higher thinking capability (of which he had very little). The primal part of his brain - which was particularly large, compared to other sentient species - interpreted the message as fear and pain. His skin crawled, and every instinct called for him to run and hide.

And run he did - right into the waiting arms of Butler.

Butler's eyes grew wide and his heart started pounding faster. The noise coming out of his charge's mouth was so animal - so terrifying - that it took all his years of training to overcome the staggering instinct to run.

He fought the fear overtaking his mind, realizing that the goblin would take the most direct path away from the noise - right towards him.

He opened his arms, and not too soon.

The goblin ran straight into Butler's muscled torso, as the latter closed his arms in a massive bear hug. With one arm he restrained the struggling goblin, and with the other he picked up Holly's discarded buzz baton, delivering a shock straight to the chest. Unconsciousness was immediate.

Butler sank to his knees. Somehow, Artemis had managed to take more out of him in ten seconds than he did with his three-year absence in Limbo - and that was saying something. He turned exhaustedly as he heard sirens approaching, allowing the LEP to apprehend the goblin. He then noticed Artemis kneeling by Holly's side. He took two steps towards them, then, seeing them together, smiled and walked towards the waiting police.

Artemis stopped howling as soon as the goblin was in Butler's arms. He sprinted to Holly's side, fear taking place where calm should be.

He slid the last three feet on his knees, calm demeanor completely shattered as he put his hands on either side of Holly's face.

"Holly," he said, voice urgent. "Wake up. Speak to me."

He was struck by a sudden notion.

This is like the gorilla cage all over again.

He fought the rising panic inside, knowing that he had to remain calm for Holly's sake.

He put his ear on her chest, feeling and hearing the steady but faint breaths. He then put two fingers on her neck and two on her wrist, and was relieved to feel a strong pulse. He let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding, and closed his eyes, suddenly exhausted.

"Hey."

Artemis's eyes shot open again. Holly was still lying on her back, smiling weakly. "You saved me. Thank you." Once again, Artemis was reminded of the gorilla cage.

Artemis smiled in return - a genuine, relieved smile few had ever seen before. "Of course I saved you."

And then, on impulse, he leaned down, kissed her, then whispered, "You couldn't do without me."