AN: From here on on, the talks won't be chronological any more, although if there is a story arch that spans over several chapters, they will of course be posted chronologically.
This is a conversation between Harold and Robert and let's supposes that they are both a little drunk.
Let me know what you think.
Kat
"Thank you for your help."
"Do you really think my being here made a difference?"
"Yes. You are an English Earl. The committee was impressed"
"If you say so."
"You must have a very strong sense of family obligation, to come all this way just to help a brother-in-law out of a fix."
"Well, I didn't do it for you."
"My mother can be quite persuasive."
"I didn't do it for her either. She put me in an impossible situation but I really only came here because Cora asked me to help you."
"I suppose you don't mind being away from her for a few weeks, though."
"I absolutely detest it."
"What? You've been married to her for more than thirty years."
"I am fully aware of that."
"And you don't want to get away from her."
"No. Why would I?"
"I don't know. I can never stand having the same woman around me for more than a few weeks. It gets boring."
"What gets boring?"
"There is nothing to talk about after a few days."
"Cora and I have had something to talk about for the last 33 years. And we will always have something to talk about."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"What about the other thing?"
"I am afraid I don't know what you mean."
"You know, bedroom activities."
"We are talking about your sister."
"Well, she can't be the only one."
"The only one what?"
"The only woman you take to bed."
"She is. Of course she is."
"Robert, I won't tell her. I know that you have somehow managed to make her believe that you are faithful to her, but you don't have to pretend. I am a man too."
"I don't pretend to do or be anything. And I don't make her believe anything. She is the only one. The only one there ever was, the only one there'll ever be."
"How poetic."
"It may be poetic and it certainly is true."
"But you must be bored out of your mind. If it has been the same for more than thirty years."
"Again, we are talking about your sister."
"Be that as it may, I can't believe you can be satisfied with that. Don't you want to try something else? Something new?"
"Disregarding the fact that I find it extremely uncomfortable to speak about such things in general, but especially to you of all people, no I do not what something else or new, all I want is her."
"So, you are telling me that in over thirty years, you have never slept with another woman?"
"Yes. Would you mind changing the topic?."
"How odd. You know, you could have scores of women over here. Really young ones too. Being an Earl, speaking with an English accent, always acting so dignified."
"Do you want me to be unfaithful to your sister?"
"Would she mind if you were?"
"Of course she would. It would break her heart and I don't think it could ever be mended again. But that is hypothetical because I won't do it. I don't want to take another woman into my bed."
"So you've never desired someone else?"
"Once. A few months after the war. Cora and I went through a very rough time then. But we got through it, thank God."
"But you didn't act on your desire?"
"No. I kissed that other woman but it was the biggest mistake of my life, a mistake that thankfully Cora was able to forgive. But it was just a few kisses, nothing more and I know that Cora struggled with it but she said that she could forgive me for that, because she blamed herself in parts and she wasn't wrong about that, strictly speaking. But it didn't give me the right to do something so abominable."
"You sound as if you still felt bad about a few kisses."
"I still do feel bad about it. But, as Cora says, it's in the past and there is no use brooding over it, although I find that rather hard to accomplish sometimes, especially when I am away from her."
"I always thought Cora sugar coated her marriage in her letters to make us all believe that it wasn't a mistake to marry into the English aristocracy, but I think that you actually like her."
"Like her? I don't like her. I love her with all my heart."
"I always thought you married her for the money."
"That, I am afraid to say, is true. But my feelings for her changed very early on and we've been very happy ever since then. There were a few rough patches here and there, especially after the war and right after Sybil's death, but love prevailed, so to speak."
"How can you be sure that she loves you too?"
"Well, she keeps telling me but there are many other ways she shows this too. She smiles whenever she sees me, she obviously trusts me with everything."
"And you are sure it isn't an act."
"Of course I am."
"So she doesn't have someone else either?"
"No, she doesn't."
"How can you be sure?"
"I just am. Why would she have someone else?"
"So you trust her too."
"With everything. Blindly."
"You English men are weird. Trusting a woman blindly."
"Again, we are talking about your sister."
"That does not matter. She is a woman."
"I've noticed."
"I should think so, after not having looked at another woman for longer than thirty years. I can't believe it."
"Harold, you know what? You are an insufferable cad. You get yourself involved into this ungodly scandal, you expect me to rescue you, I do come over here and according to you, that did rescue you and I tell you that I did it for your sister and all you do is keep telling me that you cannot believe that I actually love her. I've been wondering this whole conversation why you couldn't just accept that and be happy for us or at least for her, but I think I know why. Because you are so caught up in making as much money as you can, regardless of the legality of it, that you don't realize that there is more to life than that. And when you do not think about business, you think about women but only in a way to satisfy your own needs. You have never once considered what you do to those women that you seek out because you want something new, because you are afraid of getting bored. Have you ever considered how many hearts you might have broken and hopes you might have destroyed? Even if you say that those women only join you on your yacht because they want a diamond bracelet, that doesn't mean that they all told you the truth. You are so caught up in yourself that you never consider the feelings and needs of others and most of all you are so caught up by 'enjoying life' as you put it that you have never really loved anyone. Don't tell me that you love your mother and sister. You only tolerate your mother because she lets you live with her and that saves you money you can spend on even more yachts and even more diamond bracelets for even more women. And you don't care about Cora. The last time you saw her was when we were over here in 1911 and you only saw her for two days and only because we didn't bring the girls. All the other times that we were here after 1890 you fled because you didn't want to be around our children. You haven't visited her once in over thirty years. You write to her about twice a year, if that. You didn't even write to her after Sybil's death and you know why you didn't? Because you couldn't fathom what she, what we went through because you have never really loved anyone. Not your mother or sister and certainly not another woman. Don't think I don't know why you took me to all those dingy clubs during my stay here. You were looking for the next catch and you thought that so was I and it doesn't even bother you that I am married to your sister. And if you keep looking for the next catch you will never experience what love is, you will never find out what it is like to fall asleep and wake up next to the same woman every single day, you will never find out what intimacy really means because it is so much more than what you think it is. You will never know what it is like when your heart skips a beat when you see the woman you love unexpectedly, to have someone to support you in your darkest hours, or what it is like to miss someone so much that it hurts. I miss Cora so much that it hurts quite a lot and I will act accordingly. You have gotten what you wanted, you are out of trouble, I have done what Cora asked me to do, so I will go home tomorrow to be with her again. I am bored out of my mind here, but I am certainly not when I am with her. I could never be bored with her because I love her."
"That was quite a speech."
"Yes. I'll go to bed now, I want to leave early tomorrow. Goodnight."
"Goodnight."