Chapter 16

Neither knew who started it, neither knew when it started but, both of them found themselves furiously kissing the other. Him on top of her. John's shirt and t-shirt flung to the floor, his jeans unbuttoned, unzipped and hanging off one hip. Her hands running over his back and chest desperately, one finding the exposed skin at his hip and clutching it desperately.

Her t-shirt was gone as well, her legs wrapped around him as he ran one hand through her hair and her back then back up to her head keeping her mouth glued to his frantically, his other hand running down her back, the side of her breast and finally into her sleep shorts to her hip and grinding himself into her body.

This last action actually jolting them both fully awake and into consciousness. Natalie pulled her mouth away from his, he let her but, he rested his forehead against her shoulder. She turned her head to the side so he wouldn't see the tears that were already falling.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, she sniffed and he pulled back to look at her. Seeing her tears, he quickly moved off of her, "did I hurt you?" He asked concerned that he had.

"Not like that," she said in a small voice. Coving herself, she sat up and looked for her shirt. Finding one of John's t-shirts on the floor she crawled off the bed, grabbed it and slipped it on.

"That is the last thing I wanted," he said sadly, rubbing his face with both hands, "Natalie, I have so much to tell you."

"I'm not sure I care anymore," she glared at him, then turned her back to the bed where he still sat.

"Let's go downstairs and talk about this so we don't wake the kids," he said. He knew she was going to be angry. He had a lot to make up for. He hoped that they had enough love for each other that she would forgive him. He'd asked her to forgive a lot over the years and John was fully aware that this time she might not.

Natalie went to the closet and grabbed a hooded sweatshirt of his. Natalie looked into the full length mirror that was in there. She was a mess, green and while plaid flannel pants, an old grey Philadelphia Eagles t-shirt she had recognized as John's and a blue 'LPD' zip up sweatshirt. Her hair was thrown up in a sloppy pony tail and bed ragged now. Fashion model she will never be but, she was comfortable and warm and she hoped that was enough to get through the next few hours. Coming out of the closet she saw that John hadn't waited on her so she made her way downstairs.

John was coming from the kitchen with two beers, handing her one he passed by where she stood on the stairs and made his way to the black leather couch.

She looked at the beer he handed her, "how many of these am I going to need?" She asked.

"More than you have in the house," he replied, "and….probably more than you can handle with the meds you are on." She took a deep breath and walked around the side of the couch and sat down next to him, making sure they didn't touch. She opened her beer and took a long drink of it.

"Ok," she said, after she swallowed, "go."

"Well, I….damn I don't even know where to start," He said rubbing his face. He was so ashamed of how he'd dealt with all of this, he didn't know how to tell her.

"The beginning," she mumbled sarcastically , taking another drink.

"Right," he said, "I guess, I should start by telling you that…..I've been lying to you." His voice sounded rough.

Natalie closed her eyes and took a deep breath, sat the beer bottle down and walked into the kitchen. Reaching up into an upper cabinet she grabbed the bottle of Jack she knew he has stashed up there. Not bothering with a glass, she took a large gulp of it as she returned to the living room, this time opting to sit in the chair as far away from him as possible.

Neither moved or spoke for several minutes. Natalie had nothing to say, she waited to John to finish.

She stared at the Christmas tree her and the kids had just put up. Well, actually Mathew, David and her Uncle Bo put the tree up but, she and the kids decorated it. She let them do it however they wanted, so most of the ornaments and such where only in the few feet Liam and Laney could reach, the upper portion was practically empty of decorations. She didn't care, her children did it and it was beautiful.

She wondered if John even noticed it.

"Uh.." he started, stopping to clear his throat, "it started back with Marty was here." Natalie took another drink straight out of the bottle.

"You should probably take it easy with that, you're on some heavy pain killers and that is a lot stronger than beer," John said gently.

"They're not nearly heavy enough," she responded angrily not looking at him, she could feel the pain in her heart to acutely for her liking.

"Yeah," he said, "the thing is….see it started out, I was investigating Evangeline and Jared's disappearances-"

She cut him off, "and I don't understand why. Neither of them are even around here anymore. Evangeline is in New York with her mother and Jared is in Texas, if they don't care why is it any of our business?"

"Because Natalie, people shouldn't be able to just disappear and reappear with no memory of where they've been. There was something wrong with that," he told her evenly, setting down his beer. He stood up and walked to the fireplace, composing himself before he turned around and started again, "Patrick Thornhart works for the same company that Irene Manning was running when she pulled the 'Todd switch'. The same company that is involved with Evangeline and Jared's disappearances."

"What does any of this have to do with why you are here now? I really don't care what you've been up to the last few months or so," Natalie said dejectedly, slouching down into the chair.

John walked over to the coffee table that held his beer and took a long pull off of it. "Natalie…..when Patrick was here he told me a man by the name of Kenneth Fitzgerald was running Security Systems now…..with his daughters," John said, looking at her expectantly.

"And I care because…" She shook her head not understanding what he was trying to say.

"I used to know a man by the name of Kenneth Fitzgerald," he said, looking down at his wedding ring and turned away from her for a moment.

"Ok," Natalie shrugged and wished he would just get to the point.

"You've actually met one of his daughters," John said finishing his beer, and turning to look at her.

"I have? Who is his…" Natalie looked at John, fully for the first time as well. Her heart sped up wondering if he was saying what she thought he was. She closed her eyes and shook her head, "I don't understand what you're saying." She said finally, hoping the fuzzy feeling in her head was because of the whiskey.

"Kenneth Fitzgerald's daughters are Katherine, whom you've meet and….Kaitlin," John sat still waiting for what he'd said to sink in.

Natalie shook her head and sat forward, setting the bottle on the coffee table. She shouldn't have drank so much of that damn whiskey. She rubbed her eyes with the palms of her hands. Before looking back up at him.

"What are you saying John?" Natalie said with tears in her eyes.

"Kaitlin…..she's been alive…this whole time," John finished in a whisper with tears of his own, from anger and frustration, exhaustion and disappointment in himself.

Natalie sat still, running his words over and over in her head. Kaitlin was alive, everything made sense now. Why he left, why he felt trapped with her, why he left town without saying good bye.