Chapter 21

The events of the morning were finally catching up to her. Natalie sat in the heavily in the living room chair.

"Hey, why don't you go upstairs and go back to bed. I'll take care of the kids," John said coming over to pick up Sean off her lap.

"I just need a nap, I think," she said sleepily.

He crouched down so they were face to face. "Let me help Natalie, please," He said pleadingly.

"Ok but, don't let me sleep more than just a couple hours," she said sadly, she was too tired to deal with all of this now.

"Ok. Do you need help upstairs-" he started to ask.

"No," she said quickly, she couldn't have him touch her. She stood slowly and started to make her way across the room when Liam stopped her, suddenly remembering that his mother had not been feeling well.

"Mommy? Grandma Viki said you were sick. Are you really?" He asked her, concern written all over his face.

"I was honey but, I feel better now. Just really, really tired. See, sometimes even grown-ups need to take naps," she tried to give him a reassuring smile. He hugged her tightly, something she desperately needed.

"Daddy's going to get you some breakfast then you get dressed ok and you can come wake me up in about an hour. Deal?" She asked him, not wanting to sleep too long. She and John had a lot to talk about, and a lot to sort out.

"Deal!" Liam yelled and ran off toward the kitchen, Laney toddling along behind him. John and Natalie stood staring at each other for a moment before he followed the kids into the kitchen and Natalie made her way upstairs. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

When Natalie woke, the room was dark. She rolled over and looked at the clock, 'shit,' she thought. He'd let her sleep all day. Dragging herself out of bed, she went into the bathroom to wash her face, brush her teeth and hair then wandered downstairs.

The television was on and there were toys strung out all over the floor. She sighed at the mess. She heard laughter coming from the other room and followed it into the kitchen. The room was a disaster. In addition to the mess John made making dinner. all of the lower cabinet doors were open, pots and pans lay out all over the floor, the pantry door was open and packaged food had been knocked to the floor.

"I'll clean it up," she heard John say from across the room. She snapped her eyes over to him, he was smiling at her.

"I thought it would be easy to make their dinner if I just brought them in here with me but…..as you can see…..they kind of took over," he said at least having the decency to look ashamed.

"They tend to do that," she replied, "uhm….I thought you were going to wake me up after an hour or so at the most?"

John looked away for a moment, he didn't exactly promise that but, he didn't exactly tell her he had no intention on not waking her either. "I just thought you looked like you needed to sleep a little longer," he told her, " Michael said you needed as much rest as possible."

Natalie just nodded. They stood awkwardly for a moment until Natalie spoke up, "they need to start getting ready for bed." She crossed her arms over her chest, balancing from one foot to the other.

John's heart sank as he realized she was going to ask him to leave again. He thought it would be best to beat her to it.

"Hey how 'bout, I help you get them upstairs then, I can clean up in here and…..you can get them to bed?" He looked at her trying to convey his willingness to help, hoping she would let him.

She looked at him, hesitating before answering, "ok…I uhm…I'm not up to talking tonight."

He gave her a small smile. "Yeah, I know," he rubbed the back of his neck and leaned back on the counter, "I should come back in the morning though and help-"

"Yeah, ok but, nine-ish maybe," she said quickly cutting him off . He looked at her confused.

"They'll be up before nine. I can come earlier and help you-"

"I…don't need your help!" She said in frustration, raising her voice and flinging her hands out on each side of her. She saw that he'd jumped slightly when she yelled, bringing her voice down she said, "I've been doing this on my own for a while now."

"I know but, you've also been in a major car accident and are on some heavy medication. It wouldn't be a good thing if you fell down the stairs carrying one of them," he told her, hurt by her words but, knowing he had no one to blame but himself.

"We'll be fine," she said in a small voice, then turning to find Laney's eyes fixed on her face. She plastered on a big smile, "come on guys, let's get you upstairs." She grabbed Laney by the hand as John picked Sean up off the floor.

They worked together as they used to. He cleaned up the kitchen as she started their nightly routine. Baths and pajamas and stories and kisses good night. Natalie immediately headed downstairs and John followed.

"Thanks for helping me out today," she said as she headed for the door.

"You don't have to thank me for spending time with my kids Natalie," he said, picking up his jacket and following her. She opened the door and stood next to it waiting for him to catch up. She didn't respond even though a snide remark was on the tip of her tongue.

John stopped when he came next to her at the door.

"I love you Natalie. I know you don't believe that right now but, I'll prove it to you. I promise," he said looking into her eyes.

She looked away quickly staring out into the living room. "Don't make me any promises John. I don't need them," she said quietly.

She closed the door after him and leaned against it. She might have slept all day but, she was still exhausted. And she realized as she slid down the door to sit on the floor, after weeks of not crying over him anymore, she bawling once again.