As seems to have become tradition this goes out to the MMEPAC girls 3

'Sister? Why are the two of us and Sister Winifred first on call? I thought you'd decided having only nuns on call was unwise.' Sister Evangelina asked confused bursting into Sister Julienne's office,
'The nurses needed the night off.'
'All of them? But there isn't a dance tonight. I would have heard nurse Franklin twittering about it for days. They only went out 2 weeks ago anyway for her birthday'
'Shelagh invited them to her house for dinner. She asked me first-don't worry she's not just stealing them. She actually asked nearly 2 weeks ago but we couldn't spare them until tonight. I've checked the books and it should be a slow night all going well.' Sister Julienne explained smiling serenely at the rotund nun.
'Why didn't she just come here if she wanted to have dinner with them? '
'Shelagh needs to talk to them. I'm not privy to why but she seems to need this. On her own turf as it were.'
'Alright. Sister how is Shelagh doing? She seems so strong yet she's gone through such heartache. Did she mention that we had a talk whilst she was temping here?' She asked sitting in the empty chair before the desk.
'No she didn't. But I suspected as much because the two of you were much closer than before I left. There was..some uncomfortableness still there from what I can tell.'
'We talked about her infertility. She was struggling between her grief and trying to be the perfect stepmum to young Timothy, Not that she needed to have worried-the boy dotes on her.'
'Her life has changed so much in the past year and she's suffered such sadness. I'm not surprised that she has been struggling. I am glad that she finally felt she could talk to you. She's missed you.'
'Yes well she seems better after our talk.' Sister Evangelina cleared her throat, aware that she had not made it easy for the woman to talk to her.
'I'm glad.'

'Mmm delicious. How come you never cooked on Mrs Bs days off?' Trixie complained as she relaxed back into her chair. The ladies had decided to make the most of the nice weather and had dined in the Turners garden-the main advantage of living in the ground floor flat was their own personal garden, still visible to any of the neighbouring houses but none of the inhabitants of the other flats.
'Because I couldn't then.' Shelagh laughed. 'Mrs B and Patrick's housekeeper taught me whilst I was still engaged to him. Besides I've had a lot of spare time and Margaret had a lot of cookbooks.' She shrugged.
'I wish I'd had help like that when I married Peter. Poor man is still terrified when he comes home for dinner.'
'There's still time to learn. Freddie's only young. If you start now he may never remember the meals that have gone wrong.' Trixie laughed.
'True. It's finding the time and resources for it.'
'I could help. As I said I've got lots of spare time.' Shelagh offered. If the nurses weren't going to actively invite her into their social circle, whether intentionally or not, she could make tentative steps to making her own way in although she had to summon the courage to ask the nurses about their seeming abandonment of her.
'That'd be bally good of you. Do you mind?'
'Not at all. Any excuse to spend time with Freddie.'
'Ah there's the crux of the matter. Freddie.' Patsy chuckled.
'He's cute.' Shelagh shrugged.
'No sign of a baby Turner on the horizon then?' Trixie asked, straining to ask nonchalantly. She failed.
'Oh uh no. No baby Turners.' Shelagh said quietly, plastering a fake smile across her face.
'Do you not want children?'
'There's something I should have told you.' Shelagh sighed. It was time to tell them. 'We recently found out that as a result of my TB...I can't have children. There won't be any baby Turners.'
'Oh Shelagh.'
'I'm so sorry.'
'I shouldn't have said anything.' Trixie said, mortified that she would put her foot in it so royally.
'It's fine. Well I don't think it'll ever be fine but it's okay. I'm coming to terms with it.'
'Is that why you stopped working at the surgery?'
'Yes. The sounds of labouring women and newborn babies everyday was too much for me to handle.' She quickly brushed away a stray tear that escaped down her face.
'Oh Shelagh last month you popped into the kitchen with a patient's baby, Jenny and I asked if you were practicing and you snapped at us.' Cynthia gasped.
'Yes. That was about a week before the surgery that confirmed it but I already had strong suspicions. I thought, hoped, that I might be pregnant due to the lack of my cycle but there were no other symptoms. I was rather distracted that day. I'm sorry for snapping at you.'
'I'm so so sorry.'
'Thank you. Sorry to have brought the mood down..more wine? How was your birthday Trixie?' She changed the subject abruptly.
'Wonderful. We went up west dancing.'
'She danced with at least 8 different men.' Chummy grinned. She wanted to comfort her friend more but it was clear that Shelagh did not want to continue the conversation. She made a silent promise to herself to pull her friend aside one day in the near future and talk to her properly.
'The first 7 were terrible.'
'I know! You kept sending them to me!' Cynthia complained.
'Well I could hardly send them to chummy or Patsy could I? They'd cower before them.'
'Probably wise. I'd almost certainly break their toes or send them careening off into a table.'
'I imagine that would quite the spectacle.' Shelagh chuckled.
'You should have seen Peter and I the first time we tried dancing.'
'It was hilarious.'
'Unfortunately nuns aren't allowed to attend dances even if it is just to observe a friend and colleague dancing. I can only imagine what it must have looked like. Besides you all talked about it so much I feel I was there anyway.' She laughed ignoring the flash of old jealousy that flared in her stomach

'You should come with us next time. Yes you absolutely must now that you're not a nun.' Trixie grinned, shocked that the idea had never occurred to her before.

'Really?' Shelagh's jaw dropped. This was not how she had expected the subject to be raised. She had been sure that it would've be an effort on her part to get the conversation going. She hadn't dared hope this would happen.
'Of course.' Cynthia smiled.
'Are you sure?'
'Yes. We'd love to have you. Are you about to cry?' Chummy frowned alarmed.
'...no.'
'Shelagh?'

'I just...I thought...'

'What?'
'It's silly.' She shook her head.
'Shelagh what is it?'
'I thought maybe you didn't like me that much. That you didn't want to spend time with me. That you didn't consider me, Shelagh not sister Bernadette, your friend.' Shelagh admitted softly, gazing over Patsy's shoulder to stare at the tree threatening to escape into next doors garden.
'Why on earth would you think that?' Trixie demanded outraged at the very notion. Shelagh sighed and looked at Trixie briefly before averting her eyes from the hurt look in the blonde's expression.

'You've all been out a lot of times as a group since I left the Order yet you've never once asked me to come with you before. You've talked to me of your plans, told me in detail about them before and after the event, told me how excited you are. For Chummy's birthday you had a spare ticket to the theatre and you were considering giving it to Alec even though it wasn't his thing because you had no other close friends to ask- you said that to my face so it wasn't as if it was a case of out of sight out of mind. I had spoken to you only two days earlier about my desire to see My Fair Lady someday. You can understand why I started to take it personally-I would understand if you still find me not being a nun strange or uncomfortable, or if you resented me for my pre-Christmas estrangement but Patrick thinks those ideas are ridiculous so I really don't know what to believe any more. I don't say this to make you feel bad but Patrick has convinced me that it needs saying. He says he's sure you don't mean to leave me out and that I should stand up for myself more. We were friends, of sorts, whilst I was still Sister Bernadette but now it's gone. There are moments, like tonight, when it feels normal and nice but sometimes...' She trailed off.

'Shelagh we're so sorry. We never meant you too think like that. We love you. You-not as the former Sister Bernadette but as Shelagh and as Sister Bernadette.' Trixie assured her.

'I may not have ever met you as Sister Bernadette but I think you're a jolly nice person though I will admit I do not know you that well. I hope to rectify that fact.'
'Thank you Patsy.'
'Oh come here you.' Trixie pulled her into a tight embrace. 'I want to hear no more of such silly talk from you. You very much are a very dear friend to all of us. I am sorry if you felt left out. I have no idea why we have never invited you out before. Perhaps you are right and we still have some residual you're Sister Bernadette strangeness but it was never intentional. You should have said something earlier!'

'I couldn't.'
'Why not?' Trixie asked as Shelagh stood and began pacing.
'I just couldn't! I was a nun Trixie! For a decade! I wasn't allowed to want anything or to get jealous. It's hard to get past the rigorous mental state I put in place. It took me months to even be able ask my own husband for a cigarette let alone ask my bridesmaids why they were seemingly ignoring me outside of work and breaking my heart.'

'Oh Shelagh.'

That's pretty intense stuff to work towards. Do have any idea how long it took me to work up the courage to invite you over to talk. To be perfectly honest if it wasn't for the wine I probably wouldn't have been able to say anything now. If you hadn't have created an opening I may not have said a word about this. I'd have hoped to but I might not have. It's still bizarre to allow myself to want anything, to ask for something or even try to talk about personal problems. Not to mention the fact that I still have large amount of guilt relating to our friendship because I spent so long wanting to join you in your rooms laughing and drinking. I wanted to be with you as a lay person a long time before I fell in love with Patrick.' She flopped back into her chair as she ran her hand through her hair. 'I'm sorry. You all came here for food and I've brought down the mood twice.'

'Don't you worry about it. There'll be lots of times for food-we're never going to stop pestering you to join us now. You'll be sick of us by the end of summer.' Chummy promised as Shelagh laughed.
'I doubt that. I do have a busy husband and preteen son to look after.'
'Speaking of-where are they?'
'Tim is staying at his Granny Parker's house for the weekend. Patrick is working late at the surgery. He knew I wanted to talk to you. He could be home anywhere between 2 minutes from now and 2 hours. Especially if someone goes into labour. Then it could be more like 12.'
'Golly. Don't you get lonely.' Chummy gaped. Peter may be gone for long hours at a time but at least she always knew when he'd be home.
'Sometimes. But it's fine, most of the time. And Timothy doesn't spend the weekend away that often.'
'How often does he stay with his gran?'
'One weekend every other month with each set of grandparents. Next month it's Patrick's parents.'
'They're alive? I don't recall seeing them at the wedding. I assumed they'd passed away.'
'They uh really don't like me. At all. They believe that as a nun who left the Order for love I have turned my life from God and thus any connection with me will taint any chance of getting into heaven. I am not to be trusted, I'm corrupting Timothy with my false faith, I'm evil. They issued Patrick with an ultimatum-me or them. He hasn't spoken to them since that day but he doesn't want to stop Tim from seeing them so the visits continue. At one point about a month before the wedding,they threatened to sue for custody of Tim if Patrick continued his 'ridiculous notion of a relationship with a heathen'. Needless to say I am reciprocally not overly fond of them.' She rolled her eyes exasperatedly.
'He chose his parents over you!' Patsy gaped. 'And you left the Order for him!? That's dedication to a relationship if I ever did see it! I must admit I cannot imagine you as a nun and not being married to Dr Turner. The pair of you are so good together!'
'Thank you. It gets worse though. I get on very well with Patrick's siblings-they were both at the wedding-Paul and Clare. Their parents gave them the same ultimatum. I am the reason that none of Madeline and Joe Turner's children speak to them.' Shelagh admitted blushing as she took a large swig of her wine.
'Golly. That rather puts my marriage to shame. I only partially ostracized my mother by marrying Peter.'
'I'm still not sure if I should be horrified that I split up a family or happy that they all love me enough to do that.'
'Definitely happy. What about Granny Parker?'
'Bizarrely the mother of the woman who I , it could be argued from the outside, basically took the place of, loves me to pieces.'
'No!'
'Yes. Eleanor is a truly delightful woman with a massive heart. She knows I would never try to replace Marie, that the love my boys have for me in no way diminishes the love they held for her.'
'Wow. You've certainly have an eventful 12 months.' Cynthia smiled
'Certainly a year to remember. In the past year I've had tuberculosis, left the order, got engaged, I turned my back on my family becasue I didn't think they could accept me, Timmy had Polio, I reconciled with my family, I got married, I gained a stepson, I caused Patrick's family to abandon his parents, I started a new job, I discovered I can't have children, I worked briefly back at Nonnatus, Timothy started calling me Mum and now tonight.' She laughed as the business of her life hit her. But I'm still rambling on about myself. You may notice that it takes me a while to start talking about something but then I will talk for Scotland on it. You guys talk now. Tell me something I don't know.' She grinned

'Honey I'm home.' Patrick appeared on the back door, a wide grin stretching across his face as he saw his wife for the first time in many many hours. Instantly he knew the evening had gone well, he had never met anyone who could exude serenity quite as well as his Shelagh could. Though from the flush to her cheeks and the several empty wine bottles he wondered how much of the calm was from intoxication. Secretly he wondered if Superwoman would be up for another visit tonight. He did so love Superwoman.
'Good day?' She grinned as he lumbered over to her. As much as she adored her boys neither of them had been grateful the entire time she had known them.
'Long day.' He leant down and kissed her. 'Hello ladies. Good evening?'
'Very nice thank you Doctor Turner.'
'Patrick please, you're not at work.' He chuckled.
'Okay.'
'Theres some leftover shepherds pie in the oven if you're hungry.'
'Thanks love. 'He leant to murmur in her ear 'Did you talk to them?'
'No we've sat here in silence for hours awkwardly avoiding each others eyes. It's an intense but so far victimless game of wink murder.' She said straight-faced but loud enough for the others to hear. She had nothing to hide from them now.
'Very funny.'
'We did.'
'And?'
'All cleared up. It's all fine.'
'Good. I told you all would be fine.' He grinned stroking her cheek, ecstatic that she was allowing this display of affection in semi-public. 'Now I believe you have something to say to me.'
'I'm not saying that stupid thing Patrick.' She scowled.
'Really because I'm fairly I can quite successfully blackmail you into saying it. You've told me all of your secrets. And I am positive the ladies would love to know about superwoman.'
'Fine! You were right I was wrong. You are the best husband ever and there should be parades in your honour. All praise Patrick James Turner the best...'

'Best what darling?' He asked innocently.

'The best damn lover this side of Jupiter.' Shelagh huffed playfully as the others choked on their drinks.

'Thank you. I'm shocked and honored by this unexpected and unscripted declaration.'
'Shut up.' She poked her tongue out at him as the others broke out in giggles once the shock had subsided.
'Come on was that really so hard to say.'
'Yes!'
'Well I'm going to go have a bath and sleep for about three days straight.' He yawned.
'You are not sleep driving to the train station to get Timothy. I guess I'll just have to drive then.'
'Don't even think about it darling. Night ladies.'
'Night Patrick.'
'You two are adorable!' Trixie squealed clapping with excitement.
'Uh thanks? I think?'
'You're welcome.'

'I hope one day I'll find someone who loves me as much as Patrick and Peter do you two.' Cynthia sighed.

'I happen to be quite jealous.'
'It'll happen. If it can happen to me the walking accident and a nun then why not beautiful young women such as yourselves.'
'We're very lucky.'
'Indeed we are.' The married women clinked their glasses.
'Speaking of lucky is Patrick really the best damn lover this side of Jupiter?' Trixie asked wide eyed, ignoring the niggling sense that she had just asked Sister Bernadette about her husband, Dr Turner(!)s sexual competency.
'Well I hardly have anything to compare to, especially on an intergalactic level, but I am not dissatisfied.' She said diplomatically.
'Wow such high praise.' Patsy rolled her eyes.
'Very highly, incredibly, wonderfully not dissatisfied. Oh what the heck, he's a bloody good lover if you must know. I cannot possibly imagine a more satisfied woman than I. And I have definitely had far too much of this wine.' She gaped at her own actions.
'Shelagh!' Trixie laughed gleefully as the woman in question stared questionably at the bottle in her hand.
'You're not bad yourself love.' Patrick leant out of the kitchen window, unable to believe his normally reserved, somewhat shy wife had just said that.
'The amount of noise coming from your bedroom when young Timothy is out leads me to believe you Patrick are the world's greatest lover.' A voice said from the upstairs flat's window.
'Oh my word.' Shelagh flamed.
'Hello Mrs Taylor. Sorry about the noise.'
'Hey sweet cheeks. The noise tonight or the noise every single night?'
'Both. I've heard quite a lot of laughing '
'Not a problem. It's nice to hear you having a good time with friends Shelagh. And I'm very jealous of your other fun.'
'Please stop talking.' Shelagh blushed, sinking into her chair, hand covering her face.
'Oh I've embarrassed you.' The woman suddenly realised looking over at Shelagh. 'Sorry I'll go...do anything but talk to you more.'
'Bye Mrs Taylor. And thank you for your kind compliment.'
'Patrick!'
'Yes yes I'm eating love.'
'Oh dear. I'm so embarrassed. Not a single word to the nuns about this.' Shelagh warned.
'Really? I'd love to see sister Evangelina's reaction to it.' Even Shelagh had to laugh at the mental image that presented.

'Night Shelagh.'
'Bye ladies. See you soon. Oh Patrick.' She jumped as he slid his arms around her waist from behind.
'I didn't get a chance to say hello to you properly earlier Mrs Turner.' He grinned nibbling gently on her ear.
'Well we can't have that now can we Dr Turner.' She said twisting in his embrace to wrap her arms around around his neck.
'Happy?'
'With you next to me, Timothy as my son and wonderful friends how I can I not be?' She leant up and kissed him, oblivious to the delighted grins of her friends as they looked back as they cycled off.

This fic was inspired by the episode The Nurses in MASH and heavily influenced Shelagh's talk to Patrick last chapter.

Kudos if you noticed the scrubs reference in here :)

Reviews appreciated as always xxxx