and shit hits the fan in 3... 2...
Panic crashed over Bad Cop like a tidal wave. The room was suddenly very small and getting smaller by the second, and it was dark with a single dirty light bulb dangling above him, casting more shadows than it dispelled, and the rope was coarse against his wrists and he couldn't breathe sharp pain in his sides and up and down his face blood slick against his skin and cold eyes glinting above a sneer-
There was distant shouting, but he couldn't hear over his heartbeat slamming against the inside of his skull. His breath came in short gasps. He gripped the edge of the desk so hard his knuckles were white.
"Out! Out!" Benny was screaming, floating so he could tower over Business, who was leaning backwards under him and protesting that he just wanted to talk. Benny didn't want to hear it, and continued advancing on Business so that he was forced to back out the door.
Bad Cop watched the scene hazily, and then Business looked over at him. Their eyes met.
The world was suddenly flung into sharp relief and he could see with crystal clarity. Before he realized what he was doing, he was on his feet and heading straight for Business.
"B, no-" Benny said with alarm, but Bad Cop ignored him and grabbed Business by the lapels, jerking him so close their noses were almost touching.
"I oughta kill you," Bad Cop hissed as Business' eyes widened in terror.
"I came here to apologize," Business gasped. "Bad Cop-"
"Apologize?" Bad Cop roared, and Business went white as a sheet. "I think it's a little feckin' late for that! The one you really need to be 'pologizing to is dead!"
Business tried to stammer something, but Bad Cop gave him a violent shake. "You murdered him!" Bad Cop shouted. "And why? Because he wouldn't Kragle his own parents? I should kill you the way you killed him, ye pox-bottle!"
"Please-" Business tried desperately.
"Please?" Bad Cop screamed. "How many bloody times did he say please? Perhaps you can refresh my memory, because I lost count!"
A hand grabbed his shoulder. "Bad Cop," Benny said. "Let him go."
"No," Bad Cop growled. "I'm going to kill him."
Benny's grip tightened. "Let him go," he repeated. "This isn't you anymore."
Bad Cop could suddenly see himself, face twisted into an ugly snarl and murder in his eyes, towering over his former employer, who was so petrified that his legs had turned to jelly and was only still upright because Bad Cop was holding him up by the front of his coat. He saw himself again, holding some faceless Master Builder the same way, and again and again and-
He dropped Business like he'd been burned and took an unsteady step back. Business crumpled to the floor.
Still gripping Bad Cop's shoulder, Benny said to Business coldly, "I think you'd better go."
Business scrabbled backwards, scrambled to his feet, fled.
Bad Cop felt his knees go weak. The ground was tilting wildly under him. "Ben," he croaked. "I need. I need to go home."
"Yeah," Benny said, nodding, letting Bad Cop lean on him. "Yeah, buddy. Come on."
Buddy. Bad Cop's head was whirling, and he felt he might be sick. Benny helped him out to the car, slid him into the passengers seat, buckled him down, and got behind the wheel. The drive home was a blur, Bad Cop resting his forehead against the cool glass of the window as the city swept by without him really seeing it. He was vacantly conscious of Benny getting him into the elevator, walking him down the hall, opening his door for him.
Muddled awareness returned to him as Benny eased him onto the couch, and he clutched at the spaceman. "Ben," he gasped. "Benny. What if." His throat clenched. "What if I'd caught you? I could've. I almost did." His shoulders shook. "I hurt so many people. You." He was trembling all over now. "You could have been one of them."
Benny put one hand to the side of Bad Cop's face and ran his other through Bad Cop's hair. "But you didn't," he said softly. "And I wasn't."
Bad Cop grabbed Benny's wrists. "I'm a monster, Ben," he said. "I'd have killed him right there. And I'd have done it slowly. If you hadn't stopped me."
"Shush," Benny said. "You're not that person any more."
The room was blurry. Only Benny was in focus. At some point he'd taken his helmet off, and his frizzy hair floated about his head like a halo. "Aren't I?" Bad Cop whispered.
"You aren't," Benny insisted. "Remember what you told everyone earlier? Sometimes the only way to fix something up is to take it down and start from scratch. And I think that's what you're doing right now. You're restarting yourself from scratch."
Bad Cop's chest felt tight. "What about Good Cop? I can't-" He gulped down a breath. "I can't rebuild with half the pieces missing."
Benny looked like he might cry.
-no Ben no don't cry over a miserable old monster like me please don't-
"I wish I could tell you," Benny said wretchedly. "I wish I could help more."
Bad Cop felt like maybe laughing, on the verge of hysterics. Benny didn't think he was helping enough? He was helping more than Bad Cop had ever expected, ever deserved. "You're perfect, Ben," Bad Cop said hoarsely.
Benny went completely still, staring at him, and Bad Cop realized what he'd said. But he meant it, and so he let it hang in the air between them.
Moving closer, Benny rested his forehead against Bad Cop's. "I wish I was," he murmured.
They stayed like that for a moment, then Bad Cop tilted his head to the side a little, dipped down hesitantly. He swallowed. Benny was watching him, expression unreadable, but he wasn't moving away. In a moment of courage, Bad Cop closed the short distance between them and kissed Benny as hard as he could.