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Chapter 10

Stupid, stupid, stupid. You are so stupid.

She sniffed and shoved another spoon of Ben and Jerry's into her mouth, blinking the tears away that formed in her eyes again.

"You know you are being ridiculous here, right?"

"I'm not being ridiculous." Emma mumbled, putting the ice cream back on the table and reaching for another Kleenex to blow her nose, shooting August an angry glare.

"You are. Kind of." Graham stepped behind August's chair, enveloping him from behind and putting his chin on his shoulder.

"Argh." Emma huffed, grabbing the bowl again. "You two are disgusting."

"Why?" August raised an eyebrow, turning his head to press a soft kiss against Graham's cheek. "Because we are happy?"

"Can't I just wallow in peace here?"

"You shouldn't wallow at all." Graham told her, his brows knitting together in worry. "You didn't even give him a chance, Emma."

"He is a stripper." Emma pushed the spoon into the ice cream. "A stripper."

"You are a hell of a snob, Ems."

"I just didn't forget the last time I did give a shit about a guy's profession and look where that got me."

"How often do I have to tell you that not every man is a jerk like Neal?" Graham said, reaching for her hand and squeezing it softly.

"I vowed to never fall in love again after everything that happened."

"And how did that work for you?" Graham asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up." Emma growled, pulling her hand back.

"What did he actually say to your confession?" August chimed in. "You never told us."

"He couldn't say anything." Emma mumbled around another spoon full of ice cream.

"Come again?"

"He couldn't say anything."

"And why was that?"

"I left."

"And he didn't try to stop you? Didn't say a word?"

"He was kind of incapacitated."

"Incapacitated?" Graham asked, a grin spreading out over his face as he saw her discomfort and connected the dots. "Oh, I see. He was all tied up."

"I'm gonna move out." Emma groaned, her cheeks turning bright red as she stared into the bowl.

"So you don't even know if he feels the same way? You just left him all tied up?"

"I did leave him the keys."

"Oh, how considerate of you."

"How about a little compassion here?"

"Emma?" She looked up, the concern in Graham's eyes making her throat close up again. "Don't run away from him. You love him. You wouldn't be in tears and stuffing yourself with Ben and Jerry's if you wouldn't. So why not text him and talk to him? Maybe he will surprise you."

"No." Emma said firmly. "No. I'm not gonna make the same mistake again. I will forget him. Eventually."

She shoved the bowl away and stood up, ignoring the trembling in her legs as she walked towards the door. "I'm gonna go take a shower now."

The water was drumming on her head and closing her eyes, she let it trail down her face, her hands pressing hard against the tiles as her mind tortured her with images of him. His twinkling eyes, his lilting voice, the feel of his scruff under her hands, the feel of him moving inside of her.

She didn't even know him. Didn't know anything about him.

How the hell did she fall in love with him so quickly? How the hell had he been able to break through all her walls without her even realizing it?

Forgetting him was obviously a hell of a lot harder than she had hoped.

-/-

"What is wrong, Killian?" Ryan slumped down beside him, watching him with a scrutiny that made Killian feel slightly uncomfortable.

"Nothing."

"Yeah, right."

He fumbled with the label on his beer bottle, his gaze averted to the ground, but the silence was getting to him and he finally murmured. "She told me she loves me."

"Who? Emma?" Killian looked up at his friend, cocking one eyebrow and Ryan added. "Wow, that's ... that's awesome."

"Sure." Killian replied, his voice sounding hollow even to his ears.

"Well, that was not the reaction I was expecting. Isn't that a good thing? Since you are in love with her too?"

"She didn't even give me the chance to tell her. Besides, she doesn't want to love me."

"You've lost me."

"She doesn't want to be in love with a stripper." Killian elaborated, ripping the label from the bottle.

"Well, then tell her your real job. It's as easy as that."

"No."

"And why exactly not?"

"Because I don't want her to come back to me because I have a fancy job."

"So you are just gonna let her walk away like that?"

"Yes." Killian lifted the bottle and took a sip. "I will."

"You are an idiot."

Ryan just shook his head and left him sitting on the couch, the door clinking shut behind him and Killian leaned forward, letting the bottle dangle from his fingers as he stared at the carpet.

His heart was aching, more than it probably should. He was in love with her. She came out of nowhere and hit him right over the head, weaseled through his defenses as if they weren't even there but he had seen the desperation in her eyes, her words still cutting deep.

You are a stripper.

She didn't want to love him and he would not force her to, nor would he tell her the truth about his real job. He didn't want to see the change in her face the moment he told her that he was indeed a doctor and only stripped to pay his debts from med school. He didn't want to see the gleam in her eyes, telling him that he was acceptable as a boyfriend now since he had a glamorous job.

She didn't want to love him as a stripper and he didn't want her to love him only because he was a doctor.

-/-

"Shit! Shit, shit, shit!"

Emma rushed into the kitchen, her eyes falling immediately on Graham standing at the kitchen counter, pressing a handkerchief against his hand, the fabric already turning red.

"What happened?"

"I was making dinner."

"Wanted to serve us your hand?"

"Very funny." Graham growled, swaying slightly on his feet and Emma stepped forward, grabbing his arm and pulling him towards the door.

"Let's get you to the ER."

Twenty minutes later Graham was sitting on a bed in the ER, letting out soft moans as they waited for the doctor to show up. He looked a lot better than when she was driving him to the ER and Emma relaxed for the first time since she had rushed into the kitchen.

"God, Graham. Stop whining. It's probably only a few stitches and then August can play nurse for you."

"Well, that's quite an image you are painting for me now." Graham opened one eye, his mouth tilting up into a shaky smirk.

"Geez, you are thinking about putting him into a slutty nurse costume, aren't you?"

"You bet I am."

"Men!" Emma growled, rolling her eyes, turning her head as the curtain was shoved aside, her mouth falling open as she saw the doctor stepping up to the bed.

"What do we have here?" Killian looked up with a grin on his face, the grin faltering the moment he saw her, his voice a hoarse whisper as he breathed her name. "Emma?"