Weeks had passed before my eyes, was it weeks? Or was it just me losing myself in my own insanity? I was lost and I didn't know how to handle with it. There was nothing to comfort me correctly. I need Edward more than I ever thought I would, I missed his touch and I missed him. My eyes didn't let another tear out because it was simple I've cried all I could. My dad was supportive for the most part; he believed that Edward wasn't the one for me - that my prince was out there. Thinking I would cry from hearing that, I never did.

My voice was rarely used now since my thoughts were blank and there were no urges to ask questions or start up a conversation. My eyes were glued to the window in the hotel room, my hands rested on my lap. I realized that it wasn't weeks, it just days that went by so slowly and it just felt like weeks. Edward's face was clear in my head for the first few days, but had slowly faded into a headless body, expecting myself to freak, expecting to throw myself on the bed and yell out his name, expecting to throw a fit and just trash the place, I never did.

I didn't find it scary that I was just accepting my faith of Edward no longer there; he was just my imaginary friend that I had created out of lonesome. I pretty much said my goodbye letting him fade along with my childhood memories. My eyes finally looked down at the paper in my hand that I had clung to keep him alive somehow. The numbers were fading, it was ripping as well. I swallowed hard and frowned and tossed the paper into the trash.

I finally got up and put on my shoes and slipped on a sweater, I walked out of the room to my dad who was waiting patiently for me. I took a deep breath as he looked at me with a small smile; I blinked a few times trying to crack a smile back but nothing. I felt odd that I wasn't this happy-go-friendly girl I use to be, but what I can say was there was pain in the back of my throat of just wanting to scream my frustration out.

Dad and I headed out of the hotel room and the hotels altogether, not yet leaving just going out from some lunch. I was slowly but surely beginning to eat normally, it felt good to eat again. I looked out the window once I was settled down and buckled up, I now watched the blurry figures and shapes fly by, it was a feeling that made sense, it was what I use to feel when Edward confused me deeply, when he would be nice and then sudden be mean, when he smiled and then realize it and stop quickly, bad words just spilling out. Oh imaginary friend, how I miss you dearly.

We approached our destination where wonderful food would soon be in front of me. My mouth was watery just from the thought, I got out and walked around wrapping my arm around my dad's arm and moved my nose against the material of his sweater. My disliking feeling that once was felt was no longer there, I regretted feeling that.

"Until the end dad?" I said weakly, finally my voice finding the strength to be used. I looked up to the guy.

My dad looked down at me almost shockingly but it faded and was replaced with a grateful smile, "The very end, Bells,"

I smiled softly something within letting go of whatever I was desperately clinging onto. We walked into the place half happy daughter and father ready to be served. We got seated almost instantly and were looking over our menus. Many things caught my eye, just didn't know what to pick. We got our drinks first and were lightly talking about everything, it was nice. When our food finally came I wasted no time, my fork was piling on food and shoveling it into my mouth. I must have looked like I didn't eat for days, I felt like it. When I was done, dad, who thought it was the most hilarious thing ever, teased me for it. I would've joined in the laughing but I wasn't really ready for that plus my stomach was twisting and turning, it was quite sickening.

As we waited for the bill, my bladder throwing me signals of it wanting to be released. I excused myself and walked over to the restroom that were towards the front. I entered the restroom and rescued my bladder from further torture. I walked out with hands washed and were rubbing against my jeans since there weren't towels, my eyes mindlessly looked over to the pay phones. I bite my bottom lip and took a shaky breath and looked over to the few people who were waiting.

I approached an elder couple that looked so happy and full of life, it made me smile. I stood there for a moment not really sure on how I would ask them for the correct cents I needed, but before I speak the lady spoke for me.

"Can I help you young one?" She asked her voice was sweet.

"Um, yes," I said and nodded a little. "Eh, I was wondering if you had any spare change that I could have." I said the nerves getting the best of me.

"Yes, yes, I think I might have some." The old man had answered digging his hand into his pant pocket and placed a few coins into my hand. "There you go."

"Thank you so much," I said with a wide smile and walked off as they said their goodbyes. I walked back to the pay phone and quietly stuck the coins into the slot, my shaky finger punched into the numbers as I took a nervous breath.

I waited, there were a few rings before the sound of robotic voice entered my ear, 'we're sorry the phone number that you are trying to reach is currently out of service.' My eyes stayed on the pay phone, my hand shook that held the phone. My throat was slowly swelling up, I took shaky breath with what I had left before I knew it everything had gone blank.

I heard numerous murmurs and mumbles, I heard the couple and I heard the lady that help me and my dad, but the others I had no clue. I was being held close to someone who I just assumed that it was my dad. I opened my eyes slowly as a throbbing pain had developed in the back of my head. I felt my eyes watery not from embarrassment or the pain.

"Honey, are you okay?" My dad said, brushing my hair out of my face and the few tears that slipped.

"He's gone, he's gone." I whispered as felt the tears overpower me and now I was sobbing into my dad's hold.

"Who's gone?" He asked utterly confused.

I couldn't bring myself to say his name; I didn't want to believe that he was really gone, that he really faded with my child memories. I was carried out of the restaurant of course with the stares to follow. We were heading back to the hotel in compete quiet; I had hit my low point.

We entered the hotel room once again; my body automatically going to the room that seemed to comfort me only so much, I walked to the trash and it was empty. I looked over to the phone and stared at it blankly as the tears slid down my cheek from time to time. I walked over to it and placed myself on the bed and pulled the phone close to me, I lifted up the phone and brought it to my ear.

'We're sorry the phone number that you are trying to reach is currently out of service.' It said, I hung up and redialed. 'We're sorry the phone number that you are trying to reach is currently out of service.' It repeated. 'We're sorry the phone number that you are –'

I placed the phone down and looked around the room. I picked up the phone before I knew it; it was being thrown across the room. The lamp that was placed on the table was being smashed against the wall; my screams grew louder and louder as my anger grew. I was shaking more as the pillows were being punched by my fists. I threw them across the room as my dad rushed into the room to find me going insane. He stopped me quickly before I could do anymore damage.

"Bella, calm down. Just calm down, stop it!" He sort of yelled as I fought against him, I brought my screams to stop as I was breathing heavily, I closed my eyes tightly and finally fall back against my dad who held me tightly. "I can't believe he did this to you." I heard him whisper, I could feel a few drops fall onto my head, and I knew my dad was crying along with me.

I was lost in my own insanity, I didn't seem to matter what I did it only brought back to where I started. Once thinking that I was fine, I can move on from everything that happened, it only took a few seconds to bring me back to being completely insane. I didn't think about death, I didn't think about flinging my body out the window, it sort of scared me. Death scared me.

It only took the rest of the day to get me back to a somewhat normal state. I had looked over the damaged I caused and it had only brought tears to my eyes I couldn't handle seeing it, I repeatedly told my dad I was sorry for what I cause and he told me it was understandable. I was ready to get out of this hell that I was living in, I wanted out. I sat down with my dad in the 'living room' discussing where I would think would be a good start.

I thought I would think twice about him. I never did. He was just a guy with a headless body that was running around in my head, in many attempts I thought of shaking my head in hope of erase him altogether. I had a few times only to get odd stares from my dad.

What can I say? I use to have an imaginary friend name Edward Cullen.