"May I join you?"
Mercedes head pops up at the sound of the voice. She nods returning her gaze to an empty sheet of paper. Finn Hudson walks into the library to find Mercedes sitting on the floor in the glow of the fireplace.
"You're up kinda late Mr. Hudson" she says as he sits across from her on the floor. She watches him grab a pillow propping himself up.
"I could say the same about you" he replies easily. He watches her tap her pen mindlessly on a corner of the blank page. "Isn't it a little late for homework?"
"It's not homework" Mercedes corrects him with a tired smile. "It's a letter."
"Oh...a letter" Finn says with mocked awe. "To whom, may I ask?"
Mercedes frowns a little debating whether or not she should tell him. She decides she better keep it a secret.
"To...whom it may concern" she smiles proudly at her answer.
Finn looks at her a moment or two before smiling big. "I swear Mercedes, sometimes the things you say-"
"What's wrong with the things I say Mr. Hudson?" She says respectfully but with a slight edge.
"Nothing, nothing at all" he laughs.
"Mm-hm"she adds giving him a look before looking at the wordless letter.
She sighs deeply...she has no idea how to begin this letter. Everyday for the past year she's been practicing her alphabet in both English and French; mixing up the letters to create words, then combining those words to make simple sentences that get more complex everyday. She's been craving this moment ever since she arrived in France...the moment when she would be able to begin writing to Sam. And now that a year has gone by, she's not even sure how to start.
"If you're writing a letter"Finn begins. "Why is it blank?"
"Cause I'm not sure what to say" Mercedes pouts.
"Well" Finn yawns. "I could help...but you won't tell me who you're writing too."
"Its a secret" Mercedes says like its the most obvious thing in the world.
"Don't you think we're good enough friends that you could tell me this tiny secret?"
Its true. In the beginning, a few weeks went by without Finn ever noticing that the young black French girl was actually the infamous Mercedes. Kurt was the one to introduce the two and at first when Finn found out he was extremely embarrassed. He avoided her for a couple of weeks, waiting to see if she had told anyone about his disastrous break-up with Rachel, but she didn't. He found her one day and thanked her for keeping it a secret...little bit by little bit the two would talk and with these conversations Mercedes was unknowingly helping Finn heal his heart. They weren't inseparable, but it was clearly heading that way and very soon.
"It looses it's meaning if I tell" she replies closing her eyes tightly picturing Sam.
Seeing his smile in her mind brings a warm ache to her heart; she misses so much. Other than the quick mentions he gives her from the letters to his dad, Mercedes hasn't really heard from him much. This letter is the beginning of her reconnection, something she worked hard on all by herself...something just between the two of them.
"Is it a love letter" Finn guesses. "That's it isn't!"
Mercedes makes a face at him before continuing to tap her pen on her paper.
"And he's back in the U.S?"
"Yes...on the Evans Plantation" she answers truthfully.
"Are you sure he'll get it?"
Mercedes freezes for a moment or two thinking of the war that's been going on back home. Mr. Evans had been trying to keep it a secret from her by hiding the news clippings Sam would send in his letters but one day Mercedes found one of them in the trash and read as much as she could figure out before finding someone else to translate the rest. When she confronted Mr. Evans she demanded that she be sent back to the plantation...
(FLASHBACK)
"Master Evans, you have to send me back! Right now!"
Mr. Evans looks at Mercedes and sighs. "I can't do that Mercedes. I promised Sam that I wouldn't no matter what-"
"Well I didn't!" She shouts at him for the first time in her life. "He needs us back there! And if you won't go, I will."
"Can't you see we're all doing this for you?" Mr. Evans pleads. "Sam has sacrificed a lot to see that you get a proper education-"
"What good is that if he's in danger?" Mercedes says frantic. "I've lost my mother, I'm not loosing Sam too! This separation is tough enough, if he dies I won't survive it!"
"Think about your mother! She would've given anything to see where you are now...free!" Mr. Evans argues. "And you want to go back to a country where people are dying for the very privilege you're trying to throw away? I'm sorry Mercedes but we, are not going back."
Big fat tears start to well up in Mercedes eyes. She's so furious with everything! With Sam for sending her away, with Mr. Evans trying to keep this war a secret, and with her mother's dream hanging over her head...she feels like no one is listening to what she wants. That they just keep making decisions for her and calling it "What's Best For Her."
Mr. Evans looks at her face seeing how upset she is. He feels extremely guilty as he's starting to see the resemblance she has to his Delilah. He feels his eyes starting to water too at the situation...his son across the world fighting to defend his birthright,something that Mr. Evans doesn't even really care about anymore...not to mention protecting the only reminder of his beloved; a living memory of what he once had that's still too painful to think about...
"Now Mercedes," Mr. Evans starts. "Sam promised me that once he get's everything straightened out he'll be out here on the fastest boat. So until then...we'll have to wait and keep in touch until he comes."
(END OF FLASHBACK)
"Mr. Evans will see to it that it get's delivered to the right person" Mercedes says confidently.
"But won't he be illiterate?" Finn asks automatically assuming that Mercedes recipient is someone of low-status.
"Maybe one of the other soldiers can read it to him."
Finn nods turning on his side to get closer to the fireplace. "If I asked for his name in French," Finn says but Mercedes holds up her tiny hand.
"Please switch back to English" she laughs.
"What's wrong with my French?" He asks in the worst most exaggerated accent.
"It sounds too American...you pronounce too many letters" Mercedes corrects. "For example...Donne-moi conseils-
"DO-NAY MOI CON-SAYYYY"Finn says wrong on purpose.
"Okay, just stop talking" Mercedes laughs hard looking back at the page.
Finn stare at her for a little while watching her struggle to write something to her mysterious lover. He sees how much of an effort she's trying to put into something so simple and sweet and he immediately feels a rotten sensation in the pit of his stomach...he wishes he had someone who would do that for him. He thinks about Rachel and his relationship with her. He's trying to remember a time when she ever showed her true sincerity or love for him. Did she ever struggle to create something perfect for him? Did she care enough about him like Mercedes clearly cared for whoever she was writing too? Rachel would occasionally have her good moments; she could be kind and thoughtful but that wasn't the problem...the problem was she was never that way towards him, or at least he never her saw it that way.
"Do you remember the day that we met?" Finn asks allowing his tone to become more serious. Mercedes lifts her head slowly to look at him before nodding. "When you first saw me...what did you think?"
"How do you mean Mr. Hudson?"
"Come on Mercedes, you had to have thought something" he groans becoming embarrassed all over again. "I mean, its not like you can pretend you didn't hear or understand everything, I caught you eavesdropping in a rose bush for crying out loud. "
"I wasn't eavesdropping" Mercedes says trying to defend her position but Finn gives her a look. "I wasn't, I just happened to be there."
"Uh-huh...sure."
"But if you want to know my honest opinion,"
"I do."
"It made me feel sad."
The look on his face is not at all what she had been expecting. His expression shows nothing but acceptance, and that makes Mercedes feel extremely guilty for being so honest. If there's one thing she's learned about Finn Hudson is that no matter the how suave and handsome his outer exterior portrays, he's more insecure than ever.
"I felt sad, but not for the reasons you think..."
This puts a frown on his face. "What do you mean?"
"You thought I was going to say that I felt sad because she ended up leaving you."
"Isn't that the only reason too feel sad?"
"No" she says calmly. "I felt sad because I could tell that you loved her greatly and that even after all she put you through you were still willing to make the relationship work, because you were so invested in the love that you shared...but she wasn't. And the fact that she was still willing to walk away from that kind of love is why I felt sad."
He's quiet absorbing her answer. "That's how you should start your letter...ask him if he's invested in the love that you share."
"I don't have to ask him..." Mercedes smiles a little thinking about her handsome green-eyed soldier. "I already know."
A/N: heyyyyyy... alright so i know its been a really long time since i've written and i'm extremely sorry about that. this summer has been crazy with me working two jobs...not to mention i got writers block again...but i did warn you about the writers block. and i unintentionally gave it to myself again when i allowed this whole civil war thing into my story lol
so if everyone's okay with it...i'm asking your permission as my readers to just skip those years in the future chapters. it'll make the story move on a lot quicker, not to mention more updates because most of the drama that takes place in my head happens in France.
if you guys have any questions as to what happened to other characters leave a comment and i'll try to incorporate it into the story (as long as it doesn't reveal some major plot twist). uhhhhhh...trying to think if i'm forgetting anything about the story...guess not lol
and last but not least...THANK YOU SO MUCH for continuing to read this story, for not canceling your subscription, for your comments, and hopefully for your forgiveness for this short chapter and not updating in a really long time. you guys are the bes
much love...pce!