Part 19

Smallville

Kent Farm

It was early morning just a few minutes after 7:30 when Conner Kent woke up. He smiled faintly at the form curled up against his bare chest. He gently brushed a hair out of her face as he planted a soft kiss against her forehead. He loved her more than words could describe and he couldn't imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone else but her. She meant everything to him and he didn't know what he would do if he ever lost her.

He had never even considered the fact at least not until Lois had been taken from Clark. It reminded him how human many of the people he cared for the most were. While he was half human, he was also half Kryptonians that protected him against things that would kill most humans. Courtney was human she had been taught how to fight and her powers came from a staff given to her by Sylvester Pemberton who in the 1970's had been the Star-Spangled Kid. She had taken his place when he died becoming Star Girl. It terrified him to think about losing her to a violent act of horror that had taken both Lois, her parents and millions of others, but there was something else that had been weighing on his find ever since Courtney and him had gotten back from Syria that terrified him even more.

'We're they doing the right thing?'

In the beginning he thought they were doing the right thing. Over eleven million lives had been lost in a blink of an eye. The world was in a time or mourning and needed time to heal without all the chaos that wars and political disputes bring, but then things changed even more. They started taking a harder stance on criminals even moving the worst offenders to different locations outside of the governments control. What had ever happened to not imposing their will? Conner sighed heavily he needed to clear his head and he was going to do it lying in bed.

"I'm going to go for a run," he whispered softly into his lovers ear. "You sleep in as long as you like. I'll make us something to eat when I get back." In a quick flash he was out of bed, teeth brushed, dressed and out the door hoping the fresh calm warm air would do him some good.

Park

About an hour later Conner dressed in jeans, white t-shirt and a button down red shirt, base ball cap and sunglasses so he wouldn't be recognized as either Superboy or Clark Kents brother made his way over to a park bench watching as a group of kids played on the jungle gym, while their parents stood back watching them and a group of teenagers and something twenty-year olds were shooting hoops on the basketball court. It was a nice beautiful morning and everyone was taking advantage about it, especially since there was no crime to fear off. Parents didn't need to worry about someone trying to adopt their children. Kids could just be kids and it felt good to know that he was part of the reason for that, but when he took a closer look he could see something else. He could see fear in some of the kids parents eyes. What did they have to be afraid of? There should be nothing they would have to be afraid or. Not with the League on top of things, but then why has he been questioning the things that League and him have been doing. Curious to know what they were saying he began listening in, somethings he was hoping to hear, while others revealed his worst fears.

Conner ears first drifted to the basketball courts where a fifteen year old boy Wes Allan was doing a project for school. He had in his hands a camera and was asking people questions about the recent events that had been happening and how the general public felt about them.

"I'm wondering if you have time to answer a question about the Superheroes and what's been happening these passed months," Wes annouched.

"Is this for school or something," asked twenty year old Eric Davidson. "Sure, why not," he answered after Wes nodded yes.

"I just want to know how you feel about the Superheroes recent action," annouched Wes. "Whether you agree or not with what they're doing."

"I think it's great!" answered a girl dressed in black, with dark purple hair and eye liner as she jumped in front of the camera. "Totally awesome. I heard that Superman pulled Toyman still beating heart out of his chest."

"I would have paid to see that," answered a teenage boy who was sitting behind her watching the street ball game.

Conner drifted his ears towards people sitting over on the benches as they watched their children play. An older man who had brought his grand daughter to the park sat down next to a young woman in her 30's who brought her twin sons. The woman turned to the man as if looking for insight from someone far beyond her years.

"What do you think about what's been going on ever since what happened in Metropolis" she asked him.

The older man turned to her, shocked that she would even asked such a question to him. He looked around as if checking to see if anyone was watching them. "We should be talking about this!"

"Why?" the young woman asked.

"What if they're listening," he told her with such fear in his voice you would think he had been fearful all his life. He leaned closer to her whispering into her ear. "They could be listening to us right now. They could be watching our every move from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep, maybe even what we're dreaming."

Conner could hear the old mans heart pounding rapidly. The man was terrified beyond words of what has been going on.

"So, you're saying we should be afraid of them?" Conner heard the young woman ask the man.

"Shh..." the man hissed. He quickly got up and called to his grand-daughter and left the park without another word.

Conner sighed heavily, as he heard the grand-daughter of the man ask her grandfather why they were leaving so soon, but he would never give her an answer. How had things gotten to the point that people were afraid to come to the park with their children? When all they ever wanted was for parents to bring their children to the park and not have to worry about anything bad happen to them.

"Are we doing the right thing?"

He continues to ask himself that as his ears drift back to the kid who had been going around the park asking question, who was now asking the question to a woman by the drinking fountain.

"What are your thought on what Superman and the other heroes have been doing?" Wes asked her.

"I'm all for it," exclaimed the woman. "I don't know why it's taken them this long to do something about all the horrific things that happen not just here, but all around the world." The woman looked firm into the camera. "It's about time someone put those wicked and cruel people in their place and give them a taste of their own medicine. If not more..."

"I couldn't agree more," annouched a man in his mid-forties who was out walking his dog.

"You're not worried?" Wes asked the man as he turned his camera onto him. "You don't think they're going too far?"

"Are you kidding?" exclaimed the man. "I hope they hurry up with the despotic rulers and get back here! And start dealing with all of the corrupt politicians who are just fronts for evil corporation." The man looked straight into the camera and his eyes fell onto Wes. "Look up some of those people who are supposed to be representing us, but are actually destroying our country, your future, for their own political gain!"

"Maybe were are going the right thing?" Conner told himself as he got up from the bench. "Maybe this will all blow over and the fear is nothing more than scared of the unknown and people will see they only want to help make the world a safer place for everyone."

Conner then watched as the boy approached who wore a green scarves over her head. She was very beautiful and very kind to answer the boys question.

"I've lived through this before," the woman told him. "People who have risen up and seized power for noble reasons." There was just something about the look in her eyes, the sound in her voice. She was wise beyond her years. "It always starts out with good intention and hope..."

"So, you're saying that you think that things could change?" Wes asked. "That maybe they're doing too much?"

The woman smiled and answered. "I came to this country to escape people like this, to seek a better life," her smiled began to fade away. "And for a while I found one, but these beings though their hearts may be in the right place will soon find themselves realizing that the only way to achieve their goal would be to rule the world." She sighed heavily knowing full well what that would mean to her, to the young boy filming and to everyone else. "There would be no escape, there would be no better life to be found. Our future would no longer be our own..." Were the final words that she left him with.

Her words struck Conner in ways he never thought possible. 'Our future would no longer be our own'. Was she right? Would that be what it would take to take control of evil by taking away the one thing people would be willing to die for? Free will. People have fought in wars just to have it even if that meant having to sacrifice their life just so other could have it. He never once imagine taking away ones free will, especially when there was a time when he felt like he didn't have it.

"So, what are your thoughts?"

"Huh?"

"What do you think?"

"Wh-what?" Conner snapped out of his thoughts and that when he found Wes and the camera on him. "What did you say?"

"I'm sorry," Wes answered. "I remembered seeing you in the park and then you were walking behind me. I thought that you wanted to be included in my film project."

"No, ...I'm mean I'm sorry," Conner answered startled that the kid had recognized him from the park. He was fearful at first that the kid knew who he really was, but that didn't seem to be the case at all. Then why was he afraid that the kid or anyone else for that matter knew that Superboy, brother of Superman aka Clark Kent had been in the park. It wasn't like they could hurt them, not unless they had a chunk of kryptonite on them and as far as he knew no one did. Next to Clark and Kara, he was likely the third most powerful being on the planet. Which begged the question what did he have to be afraid of? "I've been kind of out of it lately. I have a lot on my mind."

"Well considering everything that's been going on, I would say you're not alone," answered Wes with an understanding smile. "...So, anyways would you be okay with sharing your thoughts about the heroes recent actions."

"I really don't think I'm the best person to be asking about this," Conner answered softly. How could he answer the question when he couldn't even answer it for himself? Doubts had begone sweeping in and even after eavesdropping on what people were saying in the park hadn't been much help. Some people were for it, some were against it, while others were felt as if they were made of glass and one false move could spell doom.

Doom? Is that what they had felt when Clark, Kara and him and lifted underwater city from the sea and placed it in the hottest dessert on the planet. Had they been fearful for their lives that they wouldn't live through tomorrow? He could still hear the terrifying screams echoing in his mind haunting him. He could still see the terror in the soldiers eyes Courtney and him perused, no one had died, but it defiantly was close. Too close.

He still couldn't believe some of the things he had done, it was like he was on red-kyrptonite, but totally alert and in control of everything he was doing. "How about you? Do you think what they're doing is right?" He sighed heavily and looked to Wes as if he held the key to everything, but at the same time Conner knew he was just a teenage boy and couldn't possibly have all the answers. Nor could he expect him to.

"I think that they thing what they're doing is right and maybe it is... ," Wes answered he hadn't expected to answer the question himself, but why shouldn't he. He was asking everyone who he had come across, so why shouldn't he answer himself? "I come from a bad neighborhood, I've seen things most my age don't ever see. And I think because of the things I've seen, it's affected me. Changed me..."

Conner sighed heavily. He understood where the boy was coming from. The things that we see, the things that happen to us, can have such a great impact on us that it can bring changes that no one, not even them can see coming. And that impact can effect everyone around you.

So with that said. Was he doing this for the greater good or was he following orders and being a good solider, no more different than the men who they have gone after that were only following orders from their leader.

What did that make him?

Smallville

Kent Farm

Conner returned to the farm and found Clark who he has yet in all these months to see change out of his costume. It was becoming more and more clearer that he really had put his life of Clark Kent behind him. The only part that had made him human was buried deep in the ground on the grave stone he knelt before. Clark had buried Lost close to the farm, not far from the barn. He wanted her to be in a place she loved and would feel safe in. And the farm had been like a home to Lois, it had been a home to her.

Conner sighed heavily wanting to keep his distance not wanting to disturb Clark. It had been some time since Clark had visited Lois's grave and he wanted to give him his privacy even though he had all these questions and doubts weighing on his mind.. But his presence would not go unnoticed.

"Hey," Clark answered softly as he looked up and spotted Conner standing a few feet away.

"Hi," Conner replied as he walked up to his brother

"Thanks for keeping everything look nice here," Clark answered referring to how well kept the area around the grave was kept. The flowers were as fresh as ever and there wasn't a spot on Lois's grave stone. Everything was perfect. "She would have liked the flowers..."

"Courtney pick them out," Conner answered. "I would have, but I wanted to honor the promise I made to Lois about not getting her flowers. You know after the incident..."

"I'm sure she wouldn't have mind," Clark answered with a faint smile.

"I'll get them next time then," Conner answered.

"She'd like that," Clark answered.

"Yeah," Conner answered with a smile. "We'll I'm going to check on Courtney." Conner turned around and started back to the house, but stopped and turned to face Clark. He could feel his heart racing fearing that Clark would be angry with him or wouldn't understand. But he needed to know. " Clar- I mean Kal..."

"Yeah, what is it?" Clark asked.

"I was just wondering, how much longer things are going to be like this?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know before things get back to the way they were before..." He wanted to know when things would be like they were before the devastation in Metropolis happened. ...Back when things made sense and his never questioned his actions or had doubts about what he was doing.

"Things will never be the way they were before," Clark answered as he placed his hand over Lois's name. Nothing would ever be the same again. "That's why were doing this, so the things that happened before wont happen again..." He would do everything within his power to make sure war never happens, that a madman wont go on a killing spree and age old disputes never rise again.

"Even if that means changing who we are?" From the moment he knew he was Clark Kent, aks 'The Blur' clone, he thought he had known who he was and he liked who he was. He was a part of someone the world looked up to. He was part of his hero and he was honored to call him his brother. His family.

"If that's what it takes," Clark traced his beloveds name with his finger before he turned to his brother. "Yes!" His answered firmly as he stood up and faced Conner. "Because maybe if I had done this a long time ago. They would all still be alive."

Conner smiled faintly, not saying a word. What could he say? Clark was in the belief if he had taken a harder stance on crime, on violence, on horrific acts that the deadly explosion in Metropolis wouldn't have happened. That everyone would still be alive. That Lois would be alive, pregnant and they would be planning the welcoming of a new life. Arguing over what to name the baby, where they were going to live and raise it, what school and a dozen of other things. And maybe Clark was right, but at the same time Conner had to wonder does it make it right? He didn't know. He thought he did, but now he wasn't so sure.

And it was becoming clearer that he couldn't share his doubts with Clark, not like he had before all this happened. Too much had happened. Too much had changed. His brother was fighting for the life he would never have, no matter how many criminal's he locks away, no matter how many warlords or dictators he stops. Clark would never have the life he wants back, forcing Conner to realize he nay never have the brother he had known back. Clark was too lost in his own grief to even recognize what he was doing could be wrong, no matter how good his intentions maybe.

"I should get going, lots of works still needs to be done" Clark answered as he took to the sky. "Tell Courtney I said hi and to keep the good work up! I'm very proud of you both, Lois would be too."

Conner sighed heavily watching Clark fly off as a single tear fell from his eye.. "Goodbye Clark..." With a heavy heart Conner knelt down in front of Lois's grave. He placed his hand on her stone and looked up to the heavens as if he were searching for her or some sign that she was listening. "I'm begging you please. I can't do this anymore," he cried. "He listens to why. There has to be some way you can reach out to him. Maybe a sign, anything. I'm afraid Lois, I'm afraid of what-"

"You're afraid of what!"

Conner froze. He thought for a split second his voice had reached Lois, but only a seconds later he realized that hadn't been Lois's voice. With a heavy sigh he turned to face Courtney, the woman he loved with all his heart. "Courtney... How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough," she answered. "Conner what's going on? What are you afraid of?"

"He's not himself Courtney, ever since Andrea showed up, he's changed," he realized that wasn't exactly true. Clark had started this crusade before Andrea had shown up, but she had added the extra fuel to the fire.

"She's helping him," exclaimed Courtney.

"By turning him into something he's not!"

"Where is this going Conner?"

"Please don't tell me that your actually okay with all the things that we've been doing," exclaimed Conner. "That you don't have doubts,"

"What is there to doubt?" Courtney exclaimed angrily not understanding what Conner was getting at. Didn't he see they were making a difference? "We're saving lives! Stopping evil in it's tracks. We're following orders!"

"And those soldiers we stopped the other day were only following orders too!" annouched Conner.

"What's the hell is that supposed to mean?" exclaimed Courtney as she crossed her arms against her chest.

"Look!" Conner sighed heavily, this is what he wanted to have happen. "I don't want to argue."

"Then why did you bring it up?"

"...I-I'm just not so sure we're doing the right thing here. I don't think this is what Lois would have wanted for him," he answered softly as he looked deep into her beautiful eyes. "I don't think this is what your parents would have wanted."

"They're dead Conner. They're all dead, Lois, my parents, all our friends. They're dead and they're not coming back!" she exclaimed harshly.

"That's exactly the point!" Conner exclaimed as he tried to get her to see, to understand where he was coming from "Nothing we do today or tomorrow will change that. No matter how many criminals we lock away, no matter how many warlords we stopped or how many wars we ends. There is no getting any of them back!"

"So, you rather we do nothing and sit back as everyone kills each other?"

"No!" Conner answered frustrated and tired. "...I just-"

"Just what?"

Conner sighed heavily, he was beginning to wonder if he would ever get through to her or was she too lost in her own grief and anger over what had happened. "Whatever happened to not forcing our will upon them?" That had been their code, not to get involved in matter that didn't concern them, not to pick a side. All that mattered was helping those in need. Those in trouble.

"Some times, by force is the only way to get things done!" she answered firmly.

"And at what cost?" Conner answered her as his heart began to break into a thousand pieces, because he knew now what he had to do. "How long before do you think it will be before Andrea feeds the idea into Clarks head that the only way for peace to be kept is for him to take control of everything and everyone?"

"Sometimes for great things to happen, a price has to be paid."

"And at whose expense?" Conner questioned. "They used to look up at us with such hope, but now some of them are starting to fear us. Some are so scared they're afraid to be out in broad daylight fearing that they may say or do the wrong things." He looked her hard in eyes as he walked up to her and took her hands into his own. "Do you really believe this is the future that Carter Hall died for?" He never met Carter. He had died before he had come into the picture, but he knew Carter had died protecting Lois and would have died a thousand times over for Clark, because he believed Clark to be the future of protecting mankind.

"How dare you bring him into this!" exclaimed Courtney as she pulled her hand away from Conner. "You never even met Carter, but if he were here I know he would be standing by Clarks side and with him all the way. Unlike you!" She had never been so disgusted with Conner in all her life. She couldn't believe the things he was saying. "You're his brother you're supposed to be on his side!"

"I am on his side!" he exclaimed. "I'm on his side so much that I don't want to see him fall and lose everything Lois knew him to be!" Tears were running down his face. He was never one to cry, but it broke his heart to see what was happening to Clark and it killed him that there didn't seem to be anything he could do about it.

"If you're really on his side then you would understand what he is doing!" she exclaimed. "What we are all doing?" She couldn't understand why he wasn't understanding it. What didn't he get?

"Courtney, we're taking away their free will?" he couldn't believe she didn't understand where he was coming from. "If things keep going the way they are it will be us running the country, the planet!"

"Maybe we should be!"

"What?" he couldn't believe he just heard her say that.

"Maybe we should be running things," she exclaimed angrily. "And those in power know it! That's why they unmasked and arrested Carters team in the 70;'s, because they were afraid, because they knew we could do better and they didn't want that."

"Because no one would dare oppose someone with abilities or magical weapons," answered Conner harshly. "You think that things have been bad with a handful of corrupt and dirty politicians and government officials. Do you really think things will be much better with a corrupt powerful being?"

"What are you saying?"

"I can't do this anymore," he answered. "I can't continue on this path of where things are headed." He hated to have to do this, because in a way he felt like he was betraying Clark, but if he stayed on and ignored what he was feeling he would be betraying himself and in some way he would be betraying Clark, at least the Clark Kent he had looked up to and admired with all his heart.

"I'm sorry that you feel that way," Courtney answered as she stepped away from Conner. "But I believe in Clark and what we're doing."

Conner knew that was coming, he also knew what his decision had cost him, but there was no turning back now. He had made his decision. Even if he wanted to he couldn't take it back. "I really am sorry Courtney," he told her with a heavy sigh.

"So am I," she answered as tears ran down her face, because despite everything she still loved him. She would always love him.

He took her into his arms one final time and kissed her softly knowing it would be the last kiss they would ever share with each other. He didn't know what the future held in store, he just hoped and prayed that it wouldn't find them on opposite of the battle field, "I love you," he whispered into her ear before stepping away from he never taking his eyes off of her so that he would never forget her face.

"Tell him...tell him, that I'm sorry..." Conner said as he flew high off into the sky leaving her standing alone. He didn't know where he would go. The only thing he knew was he couldn't go home.

TO BE CONTINUED