(denmark)
Danmark could count the number of times he'd been to Hallar on no fingers. There were two very good reasons for this - one, he was too loud to do any buying; and two, he and Suomi in a tiny ship less than twenty square metres large traversing the vast ocean of space with no escape from each other for days - that just spelled trouble.
They didn't even own a single spacesuit between the bunch of them (a crying shame) so nobody could do anything fun like escape and tether out for a walk around, or go see Norge in the stealthship, being towed by the airship. Danmark's idea, of course! Ingenious, he'd thought - what better way to bring the stealthship without alerting anybody through signals? Keep it turned off and tow it! Karpusi would follow from a far distance and knew the stealthship's old signals and the airship's new signals, but not the stealthship's new signals - the ones Danmark had fixed up the night before they left. Then the stealthship could get off Hallar undetected.
Norge's little girlfriend had done a damn good job. He'd been up until dawn trying to undo and redo her work. But it was worth it in the end, he could sleep on the ship, and besides, he'd had company. While the rest of them were asleep, Tim had stayed up with him, and they'd made coffee and midnight snacks and chit-chatted about everything and nothing.
Alright, that was a lie. Danmark had chit-chatted about everything and nothing, and Tim had smiled and listened with the patience of a saint. Danmark couldn't blame Tim. It was natural to appreciate the sound of Danmark's voice! He should know, he was an expert on it.
(Now, as for what Caput Halleri Border Control would think about their unorthodox towing system and the makeshift hitch tacked on with rope and tape, dragging it all the way to Hallar instead of getting the stealthship fixed up planet-side or, hell, even at any of the other anchorages in the outer system that might have a decent engineering dock - well ... they'd cross that bridge when they came to it.)
Lucky Norge, to stuff himself away in the stealthship. Or maybe smart Norge. Either way, by the end of the fourth day, Ísland and Sverige looked like they wished they had joined him. Now, credit given where credit was due - with Tim's intervention, Danmark and Suomi had yet to draw first blood. That was progress, wasn't it?
But when the comms unit finally came to life with a crackle and a snap, a pleasantly bland voice asking, "Caput Halleri Border Control to vessel 97T-PFL, cruiser class 9D, come in," they all breathed a collective sigh of relief.
Sverige hit talk on the comms and replied, "Vess'l 97T-PFL r'questin' entrance to Halleri airspace."
"Purpose of visit?"
Sverige did that little hand to forehead act that he did so often with Danmark around. As though there were any other purpose of visit on a day like today. "Th' D'cennial, a'course," Sverige told them, in his best patient-but-patronising tone.
There was a lull, followed by a beep, and then the comms unit crackled again. "Enter and proceed to Caput Halleri Border Control for further security measures," the voice said again, and then there was silence.
"Does that always happen?" Danmark asked.
"Hm," Sverige grunted. "Typical Caput Halleri. Paranoid on s'curity an' worse on the auctions. Th' staff catch a bitta flack fer it - worse at the auctions - so's high turnov'r. Works in our favour. Slim chance one of th' turnstile agents'll r'member me, even'f I was here, not a month ago."
"Huh," Danmark said, and Sverige shrugged and said no more about it.
The closer they got to Caput Halleri Border Control, the more often Tim began to check the time. Two hours later, Danmark asked for him, "Does it always take so long?" He suspected Tim would be too polite to complain about their speed. Danmark, obviously, lacked such verbal filter.
"Pretty sure we can't go any faster because someone decided we should tow two tonnes of stealthship," Suomi muttered.
"Pretty sure I didn't ask you," Danmark snapped.
"Enough," Sverige barked, at both of them. "Suomi's right," he said, and Suomi did that little satisfied cocky stance that made Danmark really wanna punch his lights out. "We can make th' trip usually in und'r two hours at topspeed, but with th' weight we're reduced to 80% capability. 'S what the autopilot tells me, anyway."
"But we'll be there soon, right?" This from Tim.
"With time t'spare," Sverige replied, and when that didn't appear to wholly assure Tim, Danmark felt compelled to take Tim's clammy hand in his own and squeeze it briefly.
.:.
Thirty minutes after they had arrived in the spaceport, but were denied access to parking levels, even Danmark had grown nervous. What the hell were they waiting for?
"Time to spare, huh?" he grumbled to Sverige, who pursed his lips in reply.
Still, it was a valid point, so Sverige picked up the comms unit to buzz in again. "Caput Halleri Border Control," began the voice on the other side.
"There some kinda probl'm with parkin'?" Sverige asked.
"Just a minute, sir," it replied.
And then they were put on hold for another ten minutes.
"Alright, I've had it up to here," said Suomi finally, and strode over to the comms unit before any of them - least of all Sverige or Tim who were the most likely candidates to keep Suomi in line - knew what was happening. Then he punched the comms unit talk button, leaving a mark on the casing, and waited a second for it to beep to life.
"Caput Halle-"
"Either you find us a spot to park and park us or I will gatecrash and park this goddamn vehicle myself," Suomi ground out, and then Sverige leapt to action and tackled him to the ground.
"... Is that a threat?!"
"Don't listen t' him!" shouted Sverige. "He's not th' cap'n, he's - he's my crazy broth'r. Mad's a march hare! Shoulda never brought 'im along!"
"We have been waiting almost an hour now in the spaceport!" Suomi grunted from beneath Sverige, "That is the crazy part!"
Everyone was so busy watching the drama unfold between Suomi and Sverige that nobody caught Ísland creeping up to the comms until he spoke.
"If my suspicions are correct," he began. Everybody froze and whirled to face him - Sverige and Suomi got to their feet and rushed to pull him off the comms, but Ísland held up a single hand and like magic they both stopped. "You're stalling us because we're towing a stealthship?"
"Uh, yeah, kinda. We got orders."
"But that's never been a problem before. Why the increased scrutiny?" Ísland asked, calm as you please and inspecting his nails.
"Didn't you see the papers? Oh, right. Off-worlders. Well ... there's been these raids. We're on the lookout for pirates. Any tag-alongs get pushed to the back of the line."
Ísland laughed, a light chuckle. "I assure you, we're no criminals!" he lied. "And pirates, why, that's nonsense. We'd never even go near them. I think you'll find the fellow in the stealthship is a quiet, respectable chap. In fact, does the name Einar Steinsvik ring any bells?"
Denmark snorted. What a blatant lie. Casting Norge as a rich boy mining heir! Sure, Ísland, pull the other one.
But they ate it up! There came an awed hush over the comms and they asked excitedly, "Einar Steinsvik? Of Tenickson?"
Ísland played coy. "Mmm, maybe. If we could get a parking spot, we could get him out of the stealthship and you guys could talk to him proper-like. The comms unit in there isn't on."
"What's the deal with the stealthship anyway? Why are you towing it?"
"Oh, that," Danmark piped up, because it was his idea, and then he realised he didn't have an excuse prepared. "Uh. Uhhhm. We, uh... we needed to check in with the shipyards on account of. Um. Well the -" shit ... shit shit, he thought, gotta figure somethin' out here - "the stealthship's broken and can't fly! And we didn't have a good enough garage where we were. So, y'know. Two birds, an' one stone, kinda thing."
"But Steinsvik's okay in there?"
"Yeah, sure!" Danmark reassured them. "He wouldn't be in there if he weren't."
"A-hem," Ísland interrupted. "What I think he means to say is that it's fine. The life support systems in the stealthship aren't connected to the main power draw. Einar just didn't want to ride with my loudmouthed associate here."
"Are you the engineer?" asked the Border Control agent.
But before Danmark could interject and tell them obviously not, it was obviously Danmark, couldn't they hear brilliance when it broadcast loud an' clear over the radio, Ísland said, "Yeah, that'd be me."
Danmark threw him the filthiest of dirty looks. Ísland put a sly finger to his lips in a 'shh' motion and winked.
Lies or not, Ísland delivered it smoothly enough to gain them clearance to land. Once past the gates and in a parking spot big enough to house the airship and the towed stealthship (the lot was nearly full - what else could one expect from an event like the Decennial) Denmark finally turned to Ísland and shouted, "What gives?!"
"What do you mean?"
"I do one useful thing for this group that isn't being loud and that's engineering and you won't even let me take credit for it?"
"Maybe if you actually got off your ass and did a degree in it," Ísland grumbled. "Anyway, you've got it all wrong. I have an Idea."
Norge hopped out of the stealthship happily the second he could, once Ísland had them parked. But before he could say anything or do much besides stretch his legs, Ísland confessed, "You're not gonna like this," and explained him the story.
Norge listened patiently and then finally asked, "Are we going to jail?"
"Well, no -"
"Then I don't see what the problem is," he decided, and took his wallet from his pants. "If it doesn't go well, I'll never use this identity again. That's all."
"But - it's - you - and the money -"
"Ísland, it doesn't matter," Norge said, patronisingly and exasperatedly, in the manner of someone chastising a silly little brother, and Danmark noticed the quick flush on Ísland's cheeks. But neither said anything more about it. Norge walked on with Sverige and Suomi in the direction of Border Control, and, after a moment spent silently fuming, Ísland followed.
"Never use this identity again," Danmark echoed, a little in awe.
"What was that all about?" Tim asked.
"Steinsvik of Tenickson," Danmark explained, "is an actual person. He's the heir to millions and -" and he was Norge all along and he'd been travelling around with them for years, which also meant - "if we don't get this right, he can never assume his real identity." And he'd give up all rights to a name like that! It'd be the scandal of the century for a Steinsvik to be implicated in some sort of ship-stealing deal.
"I thought most of you gave those up."
"Sorta. Suomi definitely did, Suomi had no choice. Ducking under pseudonyms lets the rest of us put ourselves on hold. But for Ísland to just help himself to ... that's presumptuous." To think that Norge - Steinsvik! - didn't care. And Ísland, that fink, he'd known and never said a thing!
Tim's shoulders hunched and he sighed. "You guys are giving up too much for me, for this."
"It's the right thing to do," Danmark argued. And when Tim didn't act like he believed him he repeated it. "It is! Don't give me that! Nobody deserves to have been treated the way they treated you and your sister."
"I don't dispute that," Tim muttered. "But I wish it were easier."
But it wasn't and that didn't matter anyway. "It's a sacrifice we'd all make. I'd make it in a heartbeat for you," Danmark blurted out, and when Tim went silent and bright red he took a moment to reflect on what he said.
It had come as a shock for someone like Steinsvik - Norge - to take it so flippantly, but when Danmark stopped to think about it, he wasn't lying - he really would do it, and his only regret would be never talking to his family again. He assumed Norge had less to permanently lose, but obviously that wasn't so.
"I would do it, though," he said in conclusion, softly and with more conviction than spontaneity this time.
The lines to the turnstiles extended into the shipyard parking lot. There must be four gates, given the four long, long lines. Well, there were four of them with Karpusi's IDs; it was simple enough. They each took a line - Suomi and Norge used their own IDs and doubled up on Tim's line - and waited.
Traffic was quick, but not so fast that the snippets of conversation from the excited crowd around them could be ignored. "I don't have the cash myself," he heard, "but I want to see how pretty they are!"
"I might buy one if I can snag a sale."
"Maybe there'll be a nice one mixed in with the more beautiful ones and nobody'll notice it?"
"I'm not going to buy anything. But it's a nice day, and it's fun, and I can tell everybody back home I was there!"
"It'll be fun to place fake bids. I wanna see how high these people'll go!" - "Isn't that illegal?" - "Maybe a little, but I don't plan on winning one. Just wanna make it more dramatic."
Most distressingly, "They have some of the discount ones at the end." - "I'd bet they sell about as well as the full-priced on a day like today, though. You decorate 'em up nice and nobody realises until later that they act so funny."
Acting funny. Discounted. Talking like they were pieces of meat. It made Danmark see red and he couldn't say anything without blowing their cover. He looked over at Tim behind Norge, in front of Suomi. His face was hard, stoic; the sculpted cheekbones seemingly more angular now that his jaw was set so firm, and his eyes narrowed but not squinting at anything in particular. The scar above his eye made him look even more dangerous and people appeared to realise it, giving him a wider berth. Tim, however, stood still as a statue as he stepped with the moving line.
He might've heard. Or it might've just been regular standoffish Tim.
Norge, in front of Tim and Suomi in the second line, got to the turnstiles first (perfect, just on time) where true to his word to Ísland, he submitted his Tenickson identity.
The agent, a young woman in a smart uniform and too much makeup, fawned and fell over him. "Oh, Mister Steinsvik!" she crooned coquettishly, without realising she was butchering the name, "we're so happy to have you here with us today! Do you plan on purchasing?"
On the other side, Ísland had reached his agent and was flirting about as ostentatiously. (And being successful. What was with today? Had Danmark accidentally taken crazy pills?)
"If I see something I like," Norge replied. In the line next to him, Sverige rolled his eyes and stepped up to the agent to present his documents.
"Well I'm sure you'll find plenty for someone of your tastes," she said, resting her forearms on the counter and leaning over them, to push her breasts up. Norge didn't blush or flinch but remained poker face frozen. "We've really tried to broaden our horizons this year -"
But Danmark didn't catch the rest of the conversation because the agent in his line barked, "NEXT IN LINE!" and he realised he had completely stopped moving and the few paces in front of him were embarrassingly empty. The people behind him seemed disgruntled. He gave them a sheepish grin and walked up to the gate.
"Documents," the agent said sourly, with her hand outstretched. She was a young girl, about twenty, who might be pretty if she weren't brooding so hard about having to deal with stupid people all day and not getting paid enough for it. She took a quick look at the plastic ID card once Danmark forked it over and scribbled something down. "You have yourself a fantastic day, Mister Karpusi. NEXT IN-"
"Hold on a sec," said the busty, flirty one, and Danmark noticed Norge on the other side of the turnstiles, with Tim up at bat. Tim's agent took a look at his ID and exclaimed, "You're also Mister Karpusi!"
"We're brothers," chirped a grinning Ísland from the left in between being a horrid flirt. "We thought it'd be a nice day for an excursion."
"Why didn't you all go in one line?" Danmark's agent asked, her eyes narrowed. "Like a normal family?"
"Have you seen these lines? Besides!" Ísland turned to his agent and remarked, "This way I got you all to myself," throwing her a wink as he passed through the turnstiles. She giggled and blushed.
Danmark's agent glared at them both, then turned around and glared at Danmark. "If it's any consolation," he tried.
"Just leave," the agent interrupted, and he elected to pluck the ID out of her hand before he caused any more trouble.
Of course, it would be impolite to help themselves to anybody's first name, so it'd be all Mister Karpusi this and Mister Karpusi that. And of course, four copies of the same ID, easier to generate than four different names. There was no way to tell that they weren't, in fact, all related. Every agent thought the others saw another first name. And four brothers attending the Decennial Auction was just a nice outing, it wasn't criminal. Of course! Clever Ísland! Danmark was impressed.
What else should he expect from Ísland, though. When he wasn't busy forging, he was busy being many kinds of devious.
"We good?" he murmured to Ísland once the four of them had regrouped on the other side (Norge a few steps ahead, pretending he didn't know them).
"Not just yet," Ísland said, "so let's walk a little more slowly. Stage one, cast net."
Behind them, Danmark overheard, rising above the din of excited chatter, "No, it's Väinämöinen."
"Vay-na-moy-nin?"
"No, Väinämöinen. Väin-ä-möi-nen!"
"Vine-ah-moy-nen."
"Haha, would you look at the time. I think that'll have to do. Have a good day!" Danmark heard a clang and suspected Suomi - too used to calling him Suomi to start with Tino now - had cheerily continued through the turnstiles without much say-so from the agent -
"Don't look back," Ísland reminded them all, "just keep facing forward. Remember, we're not with him." Danmark pouted but did as asked. "Stage two, set bait," he explained with an eerie grin, still looking dead ahead.
There came the sound of stomping feet. "Stop right there, Vein-a-main-en!" shouted someone - probably Actual Karpusi -
"It's Väinämöinen," he heard Suomi say, more to himself than anybody else.
"Danm'rk, quit yer dawdlin'," whispered Sverige, "Suomi c'n take care'f h'mself."
"Stage three," Ísland murmured cryptically, "catch the fish."
Danmark couldn't help a quick look back. Karpusi, from what he recognised of the man's ID, was making such a scene that everybody was watching. He was yelling and wrestling with the turnstile while the flirty agent with his ID in hand looked on, extremely shocked. Then she signalled the others and the one on the end left her post to call for security.
Meanwhile, Suomi was just blithely walking away. "Keep going!" he hissed at Danmark as he passed.
"Come on," Ísland whispered at his side, taking Danmark by the arm to forcibly walk him away.
"That - wait, that was your plan all along!" Danmark exclaimed.
"Yes," Ísland said, as they caught up to Sverige and Tim in the crowd and filed slowly through the terminal to ground level. "Using Karpusi's ID lets us buy Suomi some time because every one of those agents has just seen a Heracles Karpusi ID with a different picture. Access is denied for a duplicated card; therefore, they assume his is the copy. So no matter which gate he picked, he gets caught."
"But that won't last for long," Tim realised, "they'll figure out pretty quickly who's the right one."
"Which is why we need to get past this bottleneck," Ísland said. He took a look at the crowd and shoved Sverige to the front, and Sverige was scary looking enough that people stepped aside at a glance. He doubled their pace through the terminal. About fifty metres before street level it forked, and Suomi took the left while the rest of them took the right. Vids everywhere on Caput Halleri meant Karpusi would still be able to track Suomi easily.
Danmark's first glimpse of Caput Halleri was astonishing. A city was a city anywhere in the system, sure, but Hallar wasn't like walled-off Wäterschrodt on Schlessen or anyplace in Danmark on Nunat, full of snow and the odd bit of rain. The sun was bigger, it took up a lot more of the sky, and the climate was completely different. They had strange plants here, he noticed - everything from thick, fleshy leaves to the broad flat dark green ones he remembered from picture books. As big as one's head! And the colours of the flowers in the gardens, taller than winter crocuses and every shape imaginable.
The houses were different, architecturally speaking. On Nunat it had been easiest to heat a house that was small and box-shaped, with rooves made of the lightest material possible and sloped only shallowly enough for the snow to slip off when it fell. But no snow fell on Hallar, and so there was a wide variety in house size and shape. Some were veritable towers, others had rooves so steep the house was half roof, others still with domes and tiled mosaics.
But the Emporiums! Gems of the city, behemoths that rose up like mountains out of Caput Halleri's cobbled roads and gleaming piazzas and dwarfed her shiny new electric lampposts. Marvellously decorated they were, with pillars cut of brilliant marble, every colour under the sun you could imagine. Danmark began to see why the bondsperson shops insisted on doing business there - half the fun of buying a bondsperson would be being in a palace like that and waited on by people dressed in the finest livery.
"Danm'rk!" he heard, and looked around to find Sverige, along with Ísland, Tim and Norge off to the side, out of the way of the crowds and partially concealed behind the threshold of the Caput Halleri Border Control terminal. "Daydream all ya want later. Fer now, git over here." He hurried over.
"Alright," Norge said. "The auction takes place just over there at Tolino Downs. Tim, Danmark, with me - Tim and I will be in the crowd bidding; Danmark, you float around. If you see Karpusi getting close to us -" and here Norge held up the two-way Eavesdropper - "tell us. Your mission is to find Adnan and figure out what he looks like before he finds you and books you. Once you do, keep an eye on him and if you see him getting close to us, again, tell us."
"I don't even know what Adnan is supposed to look like," he said.
"True. But Karpusi should be with Suomi," Ísland said. "If Suomi can manage to keep one of them away from the arena, we'll be good. And if not, well, you know what he looks like because you couldn't stop staring at the turnstiles." Danmark soured, but Ísland ignored him and soldiered on. "I think even you can manage finding a single BSPA agent. Look for someone too busy poking around in the affairs of everybody else to enjoy the festivities."
"S'pose they got friends t'help 'em?" Sverige conjectured.
"Hm, good point. Danmark, keep an ear out for that sort of thing too."
"But don't make so much an ass of yourself that you get thrown out," Norge added.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Danmark muttered.
"Meanwhile, Sverige and I will head back to Border Control and find the shipyards. The Vehicle Distribution Service Centre and the parking lot are near each other for obvious reasons - anytime someone buys or rents an airship to go off-planet, it needs to be fairly close to the launch pads. And now, they think I'm the 'engineer' on our airship."
"A-ha! that explains your stunt earlier," Tim said, and Ísland grinned. "How're you gonna get in, though? Won't they require some sort of proof of credentials?"
Ísland took out his wallet to flip through. He extracted one card and presented it to Tim, who glanced at it before holding it up to Danmark. Egil Kristinsson, - Lead Engineer, GNA-Pro Technologies, it said, with his photo and everything. "When the hell did you make this?" Danmark asked, passing it back.
"Oh, this was easy. Didn't need references - it'll take a few days for them to even figure out this Nunat company doesn't exist. See, I always have ID. It's just never mine. I even have business cards for this one. Way easier to fake," Ísland explained. "I'll admit the engineer trick is one I've been planning for a while. Had to think creatively about how to get to the shipyards, since they don't allow laymen in certain areas anymore - not after our stunt a few years ago. But a professional engineer would be allowed access."
"Fancy. If I'm comin' with, y'got one fer me too?" asked Sverige, and Ísland forked over another card from his wallet.
"Good," Norge decided. "Then you two get to work. We've got an auction to attend."
"We'll keep you updated," Ísland added, removing his Eavesdropper to wave it about in the air, when it clicked and buzzed.
"Okay guys, Suomi here," they heard from Ísland's Eavesdropper - Danmark quickly fished his own out of his pocket to better hear Suomi's voice.
"And?" Ísland asked. "How goes?"
"Hook, line and sinker, just like you said! He's about fifty metres behind me now. I'll be in and out of range - krrrrkt -n't expect that I can always be heard."
"Just do yer best," Sverige advised. "Keepin' Karpusi away'll be a big help fer us."
"Will do what I can. Suomi out."
"Karpusi being so desperate to catch Suomi - especially after he's lost him before - will probably make him more prone to stupid errors," Ísland noted. "It'll make Suomi's job easier. Ours on the other hand, not quite so easy. We'd better get moving if we want to have a decent chance - the first half of this is gonna be spent acting the part so they don't suspect anything and feel okay to leave me alone with their records." He smirked. "Which is a dangerous thing to do."
"Pride goeth before a fall," Norge warned.
"I know what I'm doing," Ísland snapped.