WOOO. Ok EXAMS this week, so no more updates until…maybe Friday

Sooner if I get more reviews ;)

This chapter is long, but nothing much happens, just some cute times between our fav couple

Anyway

ENJOYYYYYY

On this loverly summer's day…which is rare for London.

R&R POR FAVOR x

Chapter Nineteen-The Cockpit

BPOV

We were back on the plane at the Cullen's private take off point. How rich were they? Bloody hell.

I walked in through the door, mine and Edward's hands still interlocked, but the coldness between us as evident as ever. It was killing me.

I had him for about a grand total of ten minutes and I managed to somehow ruin it again.

Alice sprang past me and bounded in her lounge, Jasper and Emmett close behind her.

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Come on Bella. You need some rest, and you need to eat something. I have to check your temperature as well," Carlisle said, offering his hand to me.

I looked at Edward, who glanced directly at me for a second and then released me and walked rigidly into the front of the plane. The cockpit.

Taking Carlisle's hand he lead me into the lounge, into a chair, where he stuck a thermometer in my mouth.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged; I was too hurt over Edward to give a better response than that.

"Well, your temperature is back to normal, which is a good sign. I'm going to get you a proper meal and then you should sleep," he said, smiling kindly and walking away. I sighed and tried to keep my breathing composed before I had a panic attack.

I needed Edward.

The plane began to move towards the runway.

Alice was sitting on Jasper's lap on the other side of the lounge, squabbling with Emmett about something.

She caught me looking and grinned, suddenly appearing in front of me at vampire speed, squeezing my hand.

"You ok Bella? You did great back there, the Volturi are a group of extremely terrifying people, the way you spoke…you should be proud," she whispered, pulling me close to her.

"And," she added, "Your going to be one of us very soon."

"He doesn't want me to." I stated shortly.

"Pfffft, fuck what he wants. He's a spoilt baby. He can't have it all. He can't be with you forever unless he changes you. And you don't know how much he wants you for eternity Bella, you have no idea."

I snorted.

"I think I have a vague idea."

I felt the plane pick up speed, fast and faster, until I felt that swooping lightweight sensation that we were off the ground.

"He's not talking to me," I whispered, after five minutes.

"He's a grump, its quite unfortunate you ended up with him," Alice stated matter of factly.

I glared at her and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm kidding. Lighten up Bella. He-"

She cut off for a second. I looked up to see a far away glazed look in her golden eyes.

A second later she was back, biting her lip.

"Well, I wouldn't worry too much about him being mad at you. You'll make up. And boy will you like it," she smirked and gave me a wink and leapt back onto her husband on the other side.

I blushed but made up my mind. I couldn't wait any longer.

I stood up quickly, coming face to face with a confused Carlisle with a sandwich in his hand.

"I'll be back. Two minutes. I promise. I have to see Edward," I said hastily, tripping over the seat, but composing myself and ignoring Carlisle's chuckles.

I walked to the front and pulled back the curtain to reveal the kitchen area. Crap, this was like a flying palace. Everything was marble and so very shiny.

Bella, stop getting distracted, I told myself, walking straight past to the door of the cockpit. I took a deep breath.

Just open it Bella, the man you love is in there.

I still couldn't bring my feet to move.

Bella he can probably smell you anyway, or hear you. Just fucking do it.

I swung the door of the cockpit open. There he was, the back of his beautiful head, bronze and golden.

"Edward."

He didn't even flinch, simply turning his head slowly, his black eyes meeting mine, the crushing agony in his eyes.

I walked in and closed the door behind me, my heart going at three hundred miles per second.

"Edward please don't be mad. Please."

He didn't say anything, he simply turned his head back to face the direction of the gazillion buttons on the dashboard.

I walked over, my legs shaking, and sitting on the seat next to him.

He pointedly looked away.

"It hurts. Stop." I said, my voice breaking with the pain.

This time, he turned too look at me directly, his black eyes burning and distant.

I moved closer and I saw him tense. I ignored it and lifted his stone cold hand and entwined our fingers, disregarding his curious look.

"Can I ask you something please?" I whispered, placing my forehead against our hands and closing my eyes.

I took his silence as his consent.

"Do you…do you not want me to be one of you, because you don't want me for that long?" I whispered. I didn't watch the pain in his eyes, but I'm sure they matched mine.

"Isabella Marie Swan. Do you have no faith in my love for you?" He breathed.

"Do you not know, that when I say I want you with me forever and always, I mean it? Do you not know that when I say I love you, I mean it with every fibre in my body? Do you not know that you are the one and only thing keeping me alive? Do you not know anything?"

A sob escaped me. I opened my eyes and tore our hands apart.

"Then why? Why?"

He growled.

"Bella. How many times have I told you this. How many fucking times? I will never doom you, well, I'll try and avoid it. I'm going to make sure you have time to change your mind, because once you are one of us, you're stuck for eternity. Eternity," he said, capturing my face in his hands and pressing his lips harshly against mine. It felt amazing. So amazing that I had to remind myself to breath, and wait for the shoots of electricity between us to weaken.

"Do you not know anything?" I repeated, flinching away from his touch, though my body was begging for more of him.

"I want you forever. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. Everything thought I have, is of you, every breath I breath, its all for you."

He opened his mouth but I cut across.

"Don't blame me for wanting what I want, because the truth is, you want it too."

"I can't deny that. I do want you forever. But the though of you frozen and dead, it's something I cant handle."

"Handle it." I said sharply.

"I'll have to won't i? But please understand, I have to try. I'm going to try and stop you every opportunity I get. You get that?" He said, his eyes never leaving my face.

I nodded slowly.

"But you'll still change me?"

"Is that what you want? For me to do it?"

"More than anything. It has to be you. And it has to be for you."

He sighed.

"I won't have control."

"Yes you will," I told him, raising my eyebrows.

He smirked and leaned back into his chair.

"The way you talk to me Isabella. If you were anyone else, you'd be dead and gone," he chuckled seductively.

"I'm not anyone else."

"You're right. You are my Bella. The love of my existence," he smiled, my heart was about to burst. He looked at the controls musingly.

"You know, I can put this thing on auto pilot?" He said seriously.

I tilted my head.

"Is that so?"

He winked and clicked a button.

"All done."

"Hmm."

He opened his arms, I stood up and walked over. But instead of sit across his lap like he had probably anticipated, I swung my leg over the other side and straddled his lap.

He looked surprised.

Heck, so was I. Bloody hell, where did that come from?

But then he smirked and wound his arms around my waist, while I wrapped my arms around his neck and breathed deeply, his sweet scent calming me.

I don't know how long we sat there staring into each other's eyes, but every second was pure bliss.

Then I realized the darkness of his black eyes. He was hungry. I felt a coldness wash over my, which wasn't from Edward's freezing marble body.

He would have to feed soon. On what?

He obviously felt my body tense.

"Bella, angel, what's wrong?" He whispered, a worry line appearing on his forehead, one of his hands stroked my hair.

"You're hungry."

He continued to frown, not sure what I was getting at.

"You have to feed," I whispered, my body shaking slightly.

Realization dawned on him and his hands froze on my head.

"Oh."

I looked down at his hard chest, the muscular contours visible through his sweater, and refusing to look at him.

"Look at me Bella," he ordered softly.

When I didn't, with his finger he gently pulled my chin up to look at him.

"I need you to understand something. I can't, physically can't go straight back to just consuming blood of animals. I will try, I will try my hardest for you. But I'll have to start all over again; it will take time to get to the point I was at five months ago. And…it won't be easy. I'll be dangerous to be around, I'll have constant mood changes due to my hunger and trying to control myself. You have to understand that."

My breath caught in my chest and I looked towards the window, seeing nothing but an endless blanket of clouds.

"Not the innocent…" I mumbled.

He shook his head.

"No Bella, I promise you, I won't ever hurt the innocent again."

I nodded, a little put at peace.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He smiled and bought me closer to him.

"Don't mention it, beautiful."

I scoffed and he raised his eyebrows.

"I look like a walking skeleton, so hideous. How…how can you love this?"

"Bella, don't ever doubt the way you look. I have never seen anything so stunning, so breath-taking, as you in all my existence. So fucking perfect," he growled, pressing his cold lips to mine tenderly, my hold on his neck tightening, trying to pull us impossibly closer.

His tongue trailed my lips, asking for entrance. I granted it. He could have anything he wanted. Our tongues dueled for dominance, his of course winning. Bells in my head were ringing and every past of my body was tingling. Without thinking, I rolled my hips over his lap. Over something very, very hard.

In that millisecond, we were no longer swept away in a beautiful kiss, but pulled away from each other, panting, his eyes were squeezed shut.

"Fuck…" he moaned, his whole body rigid.

When his eyes opened, the blackness was dissolving into a possessive hunger.

"Bella." He growled.

I stopped breathing, and pulled back, trying to detach myself from him. His strong grip remained on my waist, not letting me move myself an inch away from him.

"Talk to me Bella, distract me," he hissed. I could tell he was nearing the loss of control that he always fought so hard to keep.

I cupped his face in my hands and kissed his forehead.

"You know what?"

"What?" He muttered, his jaw clenched.

I looked into his eyes, the animalistic hunger slowly retreating.

"I love you more than you love me."

"Not possible," he grimaced, his eyes burning with a passion.

"Really? Do you want to prove it?"

"You first."

His rigid posture was slowly relaxing underneath me.

"I can't, that's how much I love you, theres no way possible to prove it."

He let out a long slow breath and smiled softly in reassurance.

"Thank you, my angel."

I nodded and blushed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…I…it was going to far."

He shook his head and gave me that crooked grin that took my breath away.

"It's nothing new, love."

I looked confused.

"Blood lust Bella. Do you know what that fully means?"

I shook my head.

"When a vampire smells bloody, not only doesn't their throat react, but it triggers a sexual want."

My one hundred questions got stuck in my throat.

He continued.

"Most vampires, the more sadistic ones, shall we say, rape the human before feeding off it."

Oh my…

Fear suddenly seized me, and positive disgust.

"You…you never-"

"Fuck no Bella. I maybe crazy but I'm not sick."

I nodded relieved slightly.

"So…you get turned on smelling my blood?" I smirked.

"More so than normal vampires would."

"Why's that?"

"Firstly, you are my soul mate, so everything about you is supposed to make me feel that way. Second of all you're blood is more potent than any other human for me in the world. Thirdly, you are the most attractive women I have ever laid eyes on. And, my love, you're only fifteen. I can't wait to see you as a women Bella." He breathed, his hands inching upwards towards my chest, my breathing erratic.

Then…my stomach growled. Loud and clear. Ugh stupid stomach, ruining a perfect moment.

He pulled his hand away and frowned.

"Have you eaten anything?"

I shook my head and guilty remembered the sandwich Carlisle made for me.

"I'm not hungry," I lied.

"Well weather you like it or not, you're going to eat."

I rolled my eyes.

"Stupid vampire."

"I think you'll find I'm a stupid vampire who has a bit of a crush on you," he said, winking. I laughed.

"You're a perve you are. What are you, like two hundred?"

He snorted.

"I think you'll find I'm more like than eighty years younger than that." He scoffed.

"I'm about…well a lot younger than you," I said, too exhausted to do any math.

"Bella, I don't even know your birthday," Edward said, his beautiful eyes wide.

"11th June," I said shrugging.

He looked at me for a second.

"What's the date today?" I asked.

"The ninth. Of June."

"Oh."

The concept of my sixteen birthday seemed so far away to me. Then I felt a thrill inside, I was almost one year closer to becoming a vampire.

"Sixteen," I mused, "Sixteen."

He rolled his eyes.

"God Bella, you must be tired. I'll get you something to eat and then you really have to sleep."

I shook my head.

"I won't eat it, I'm really not hungry."

The truth was, I was starving, but I didn't want him to let me go.

Edward looked me a suspiciously for a second, I looked back, just as defiantly.

He sighed.

"Ok, sleep then." I didn't think for a second he believed me, but perhaps he saw my eyes drooping and decided my need for rest was greater.

I nodded and made to get off him.

I didn't even manage to move an inch.

"And, where do you think you're going?"

I shrugged.

"To sleep."

He smirked.

"Stay here," he murmured, indicating his lap.

I nodded and rested my head on his chest, breathing in his scent, relaxing me to my very core.

My eyes closed.

"Can you drive this thing like this?" I mumbled.

He rested his arms around my waist.

"Trust me, love, I'm more than comfortable."

I sighed contentedly, drifting into a far away world.

Somewhere in the midst of sleep and consciousness I heard the door open.

"Ed, Esme knows."

It was Jasper.

I felt Edward tense underneath me.

"What? How?" He hissed.

"She overheard Rosalie on the phone to Em. She's at your place now, she's extremely upset that none of us told her, and that you went and did that in the first place."

I heard Edward sigh.

"Ok. She does deserve to know. Is she ok with Carlisle?"

I didn't hear Jasper's response, but I felt Edward vibrate underneath me, his delicious chuckles filling my ears.

I was too far-gone to wake up, the crushing exhaustion taking over, yet my senses were aware of this little exchange.

"Is she ok? She felt a little…crushed earlier," Jasper said.

I felt the cool marble hand stroke my hair.

"She's fine. We just had some…issues to clear up."

"Naturally."

Edward let out a little snort.

"Naturally," he agreed.

"I'm happy for you Ed. We all are. She's…she's something special. Did you see the way she spoke to the Volturi. I didn't know she had it in her."

I felt his grip tighten on me.

"Me neither," he said softly. In my unaware state, I detected a hint of something that sounded like admiration.

I breathed heavily and clung to his shirt tighter.

"We're landing soon, wanna wake her up, Bro?"

"Nah, let her sleep. She's hardly closed her eyes in the past almost forty-eight hours."

"As long as you're sure you can steer this thing safely with her on your lap," Jasper said mischievously.

"I'm sure I can. Go get belted up. We'll be landing in a few minutes."

Jasper scoffed and then I heard the door close.

Edward kissed my hair and I felt the whoosh as I realized he breathed in my scent, whilst tracing patterns on my back.

Before I knew it, my half awake state had dissolved, and I was captured by darkness.

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