Disclaimer: I wish I owned One Piece *looks around and feels disappointed when the goblin king doesn't appear to fulfill her wish*.

Warnings: Bodily fluids and overuse of cases. And misuse of various ways to say thingumabob. Do I have to warn for those things?

Oneshot 5

Flushed

Thomas didn't have a strong stomach- actually, his stomach was very very weak.

Burritos, slightly too ripe vegetables or fruits, milk that should get sour tomorrow, fast food or any unusual food like Chinese or Indian food- almost everything could make him feel sick and spend atleast ten minutes "fighting with the brown bear".

Knowing all of this, Thomas had to admit that he probably was just as, if not more, guilty in the situation as his friends, but that didn't stop him from bemoaning his cruel fate.

Yes, he should have thought before eating whatever his friends gave him, but they had been friends since the first grade, so Thomas had somehow expected Susan to be the mature one and stop Eddy and Lucy from feeding him some unknown substance aka food made by Lucy.

There, of course, always was the chance that she simply hadn't noticed their plotting, but it seemed quite unbelievable. Susan had known them just as long as Thomas had and she was the one that had dubbed them as the 'twin terror'.

Thomas wouldn't even considered hitting the three of them in face because he was a pacifist, but spending last twenty three minutes in toilet, sweating cold sweat and trying to will the horrible stomach ache away had almost made him reconsider his beliefs.

And seriously, he hadn't eaten that much, so where did it all come from?

From behind of the toilets doors sounded the whining voice of Eddy: "Are you done yet? I need to pee!"

Thomas closed his eyes and took a deep breath to try and suppress his inner turmoil. It would do no good to blow up at Eddy right now. Finally, when his anguish had been squashed in a small ball and buried deep within his subconscious, he said trough gritted teeth: "No, I'm not done yet. Maybe next time before feeding me some crap like this you'll think a bit about that. That is, if you can manage to think without overheating the silly little thing you call brains."

Oops... looks like that try anger management didn't really work.

On the other side of the doors Eddy (Shortened from Edmund) sighted.

"I already told you I'm story, bro. We had no idea that your stomach would react like that. I mean, if that thing tasted like shit, why did you eat it?"

"Because you gave it to me! I don't really know why, but I somehow got this crazy idea that as we have been friends for ten years, it would make sense for you to know what makes me sick. Guess I was wrong, sorry."

"... Sorry..." Eddy muttered and by the sound of his footsteps Thomas figured that he went away. The sick teenager wondered for a moment how exactly Edmund planned to resolve his need to pee by going away, but on the other hand, he probably wouldn't get into the toilet for a while anyway.

Thomas's stomach lurched and his mind stopped wondering around to return to his own problems.

...20 odd minutes later...

Thomas sighed and dropped the last piece of toilet paper into the toilet pot.

He had spent way too much time and toilet paper and just couldn't believe the *stench*.

'Was that really me?' the teenager thought with distaste after a slight glimpse of the pots contents. He found it hard to believe that *that* was the result of his alimentary system.

And really, where did it all come from?

Thomas shuddered and decided he didn't want to know. Ignorance is a bliss, after all. And he already had experience with finding out too much.

Thomas would never look at Coca-Cola the same way again after reading thay pamphlet on what kind of things it consisted of.

Finally fed up with the stench (really, that wasn't a pun intended), Thomas flushed down the pot.

As the water slowly did what it does in the pot (despite the amount of time Thomas spent in the toilet he had yet to find out and understand the mechanisms of toilet) Thomas turned around to finally go and get himself something to eat (preferably a plain Greek yogurt).

When the noise the flow of water caused had died down and the teenager had unlocked the door, ready to go, a loud clang made him jump and turn around to face the source of the sound.

Right in front of his disbelieving eyes something long and skin colored rose out of the pot like a snake and grabbed him by the front of his shirt.

For a moment he stared dumbfounded at the pink-ish-brown-ish thingumabob and was even more dumbfounded when it stared back- it had an eye.

The dumbfound silence was interrupted when from the end of the hand like thing more hands sprang out and grabbed his midriff and shoulders in a vice like grip, making him scream from fright.

The hand didn't react at all to Thomas's loud scream and the string of curses that followed it- and why would it, when it had no ears or a mouth, despite the eye?

Then, the thingamajig lurched and started pulling him towards the toilet pot.

Thomas had no idea of what was going on, but even as a pacifist he wasn't about to let the thing drag him somewhere without resisting. The teenager scratched at the hands holding him and kept swearing and yelling as loud as be could, hoping that the thick walls of his apartment wouldn't keep his friends from running to his rescue.

Just as he had been pulled right next to the pot (well, his toilet was pretty big and he had already unlocked the door so it had taken some time for the hand like thingamabob to drag him) the doors burst open and there stood his friends, each of them holding a makeshift weapon.

For a moment they stared at each other- even the hand like doodad stopped its movements and stared at the bunch of teenagers with its one eye.

Then the moment ended; it wasn't like all hell broke loose, but it was close to it.

Everything started with the hands holding him disappearing in a flash of cherry petals to reappear and clutch his legs in a equally tight grip.

Edmund leaped towards him, Lucy and Susan right behind him, and used his guitar to whack the thing holding Thomas.

The flesh like thing didn't react at all and just raised Thomas in the air and pulled his feet in the pot.

Thomas was even more confused now- what was the thingummy planning to do now? Pull him into the teenage mutant ninja turtle underworld sewer kingdom? It was impossible for him to be pulled trough the pot and the pipes- he was simply too wide for that to be possible.

His friends kept trying to attack the gismo- Lucy had brought a heavy frying pan which the blonde swung around with a surprising ease and Susan used her two knitting needles to stab the gubbins in various places.

Sadly, none of these things seemed to work- their attacks jumped off the doojigger as if it were made of rubber.

Susan got an idea- she stabbed the hand's eye with one of her needles. The eye disappeared in a whiff off cherry petals, but two more eyes appeared.

After that, a bunch of hands grew on both of Susan's hands and held them tightly so she wouldn't be able to stab anything else.

When Lucy tried to help Susan free from the hands, more of them grew on Lucy's body and disabled her from doing anything else but cursing loudly. Then, as if to finish everything, Edmund too was stopped from helping any of them by the mysterious hands.

All of them stared in a petrified horror as their friend was slowly pulled down the drain in a impossible way, starting with his legs and continuing with the rest if his body.

Thomas just stared. His throat was sore and he was confused again (or more like still?).

He had been pulled trough the pipes of canalization, and had passed out at some point due to a lack of air. The whole journey, to his surprise, hadn't been nor smelly nor uncomfortable- it had felt like the out of body experience Susan had described to him some time ago.

The teenager had been woken up by a strange creature holding smelling salt under his nose and waving his other hand around in a frenzy. He had coughed up some water and looked around to make sense of his surroundings, but it hadn't really worked. There was something in the way of his eyesight and he was wearing some strange clothes. But, if he understood it right (and ignored the strange thing on his face), he was on a ship and the ship was on the clouds.

For a moment he had thought that he was dreaming- but then he understood that he had free will and had pinched himself (cue the strange dark-skinned kid freaking out that he had became suicidal). It hurt, so he decided that he wasn't dreaming.

And, for some strange reason, everybody called him Usopp. And why was that little kid saying something about amnesia?

AN

This chapter hijacked itself.

First I had planned for him to just to be flushed down the toilet pot. Then came the idea- why should he be in the toilet? (besides the obvious)

His three friends came out of nowhere, and I had already finished this chapter when I noticed that they were named the same as the siblings in that Narnia book. I was tempted to rename Thomas as a Peter.

Then Luffy decided to hurry me up, and tried to kidnap (teenage-nap?) Thomas. And Thomas's friends decided to try and safe him. They almost followed him into the world of One Piece.

And I hadn't even planed for Thomas to become Usopp. I had next to none control over this chapter.

Thanks for reading!

The sister of the anime bros is the first person to review, favorite and follow- a giant thank you and a cyber cupcake for her! And a thank you for Phalanax for reviewing. I'm too lazy to go and check the amount of visitors and views.

23/08/12 around 14:15

Reviews are loved~ and mistakes are corrected if pointed out.

On a side note, I bough another book (Howl's moving castle), thought I was broke, then found some money in my wallet and remembered that some people owe me more (yay me). And I'm going to Lady Gaga concert today.

Yup, life is full with things happening.