So. It's definitely been a while. Okay so almost a year. To be totally honest I couldn't be bothered anymore. I just had too much to deal with, with exams and everything. But recently things in my life have definitely changed and writing seemed to be my only outlet. I forgot how much I enjoyed it! Funny how when it comes to creativity I can do it, but apparently my Quality of Written Communication in my exams is so shit. Anyway this chapter is long, I hope you'll consider this chapter a peace offering, beloved readers and reviewers. I will try my best to keep up to date.

I've read all my reviews and actually was so happy that even when I was absent my story made a difference. Ohhhh yeah. Also one review in particular made me laugh. About Bella being so English. That's probably me coming through a bit there.

I'm kind of nervous for this chapter, so please support me by letting me know what you think. Love you all. Enjoy.

Chapter 23- Never Not Love You

BPOV

You know those times when everything seems totally unbelievable? This was one of those times. Your incredibly hot vampire boyfriend buys you a Ferrari for your sixteenth birthday. Totally casual? I think not.

I stared at the keys in my hand and nodded numbly. Before I could blink Edward had opened the driver seat door and motioned for me to get in. As soon as I got into the blue monster, I inhaled that new car smell. This car is mine. I, Bella Middleclass Swan, owned a Ferrari.

It seemed too much, I was still hesitant to accept it, but I knew I didn't have a choice. Edward stroked my cheek, already placed in the passenger seat, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Bella, what you thinking about?" He whispered.

"Car…mine…wow…"

He chuckled softly.

"Bella, I know its hard enough for you as it is, but if I'm going to teach you to drive it, you need full coherency, if that's okay?"

I quickly snapped out of and nodded.

"Let's do this."

"Okay, so this car is automatic which basically means you don't have to do jackshit…"

Edward went on explaining for what seemed like an hour, but I remembered almost every word of his silken voice as I just stared at the steering wheel. Then we got to the good stuff. I placed my feet on the pedals as he instructed me to do and after several failed attempts of me almost shooting backwards , almost shooting forwards in the garage wall, and almost reversing on the spot, Edward decided I had had enough for one day.

"Don't worry Bella, you'll get it after a few more days, you'll be cruising down the road at two hundred miles per hour," he said, his eyes twinkling and his lips twitching as if he was hiding a smirk.

I narrowed my eyes and wacked his chest (internally wincing at hurting myself).

"We both know that I'll just about make it to five miles an hour. Edward, I know how to drive! Charlie taught me last year. But this thing is fucking difficult. Especially compared to a standard stick shift. And i'm scared of breaking it."

Edward leaned over and licked below my ear.

"Bella, this is easier than a stick shift," he said, blowing cold air over the place he had just placed his tongue on.

I shuddered, trying to push down the feeling of want. He was teasing me. Bastard. I had a feeling my lack of ability to drive at the moment was down to his presence. Stupid soul mate.

I looked at him, trying to divert his attention.

"Edward, how fast does this thing actually go?"

His eyes lit up.

"Do you want me to show you?"

I nodded eagerly. I had recently got this thing for speed. When I felt like it of course.

After we had swapped places (Edward rewarding me with an arse slap as we passed each other, making me turn all kinds of red), he put the keys back in the ignition and the car purred to life. He then got a remote control device out of his pocket and opened the garage door, reveling the dark abyss of the night.

"Ready Bella?"

"Edward, just go!"

And with that we were out. Whizzing down the road, surrounded by nothing but dense trees belonging to the thick forest in which Edward lived. I turned around and saw the light of his mansion get smaller and small until it was nothing but a speckle. I closed my eyes as the speed picked up, and my stomach was doing triple flips. The rush. I felt us getting faster and faster over the smooth road. This car was the actual shit! I loved it.

Opening my eyes I looked at Edward, who was looking at me with wonder.

"I thought going fast made you anxious?"

I smiled.

"Only when you're not looking at the…EDWARD WATCH THE ROAD DAMN IT!"

"Don't you trust me Bella?" He asked, tilting his head, widening his red eyes.

Now I started to panic.

"Of course I do! But I'd feel a lot better if you were watching the road instead of me."

Edward's glistening eyes continued to look at me, his eyes raking down my body.

"Edward…" I warned, blushing at the same time.

Suddenly, we braked. I expected myself to go flying, at the speed from which we stopped. But it was surprisingly gentle. I took a deep breath and looked outside. We had hit a dead end, in a cul-de-sac of thick trees.

Before I knew it, Edward had reclined his chair, ripped off my belt and had me on his lap.

"FUCK, what are you…!" I hissed, but stopped midway when I saw the sadness in his eyes. I thought he was going to start kissing me, but no. He was only holding me in his arms, against his chest, his beautiful lips parted.

"Edward…?" I asked, trailing my finger down his cheek. He closed his eyes.

"I love you, my Bella."

He said it with such a sadness, my heart almost broke.

"I love you too. Look at me Edward?"

His eyes opened again and he looked at me apologetically.

"I'm sorry. When I think of you away from me. I can't. I don't. I just need." His voice was confused and frantic.

I took out the promise ring that was around his neck on the chain and matched it to mine.

"This means something Edward. This means everything. We're soul mates. It's going to hurt me when we're apart too, but we'll be together again. And I'll always be thinking about you."

Edward smiled.

"Is it not possible for you to…see me?"

He sighed.

"Bella if I go anywhere near other humans, I could hurt them. I could hurt the people you care about."

"Oh."

There was a long silence during which I stared down at the buttons on his shirt.

"I can come and see you?" I had a feeling this is what this car was about. Edward didn't want an excuse for me not to be here.

"Anytime, Bella. Any-fucking-time," he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine.

"One condition?"

Edward looked at me, narrowing his eyes suspiciously.

"Please, tell me where this fucking place is!"

His face relaxed and he even let out a small laugh.

"Don't worry Bella, if necessary, I'll give you the address and the postcode."

I changed position, to straddle him on the seat. He looked at me questioningly.

"I like it better like this," I admitted shly, "Gives me…more control."

"Oh? My girl likes to take control?" He said hoarsely, his eyes becoming darker. I nodded, biting my lip and looking away.

Once again, expecting Edward to pounce at me in lust, but again, no. He looked as if he was about to cry. No. No tears of blood. They would kill me. I began to realize that after tomorrow, I didn't know when I'd next see him. I'd try my best, but there was no certainty. Fuck. Suddenly it all came crashing down on me. Tears were pouring down my face.

I put my arm around him and buried my face in his neck, so he couldn't see the silent tears cascading from my eyes.

"Bella. Oh my beautiful Bella. Don't cry. You're the strong one out of both of us. If you break, so will I," he said, stroking my back with a soothing motion but holding me so tight against him.

"Thank you, so much for today. I mean it, today was the best birthday I have ever have. Thank you. For the party…the car...for you…" I said, choking on my tears.

"Shhh Bella. Don't ever thank me. I'd give you much more than this and not even think twice about it."

"I love you, Edward."

"Same here, so fucking much Bella. It almost kills me."

I looked at him, wiping my eyes. He looked devastated. I needed him. Without thinking, I hungrily pressed my lips against him. He responded immediately, trailing his tongue against my lower lip, asking for entrance. I, being the weak dickhead I am, complied. I know I shouldn't have after this morning but I couldn't even help it. Our tongues battled, heavy moans escaping me. I should have been embarrassed at the sounds I was making, but I wasn't. I wanted Edward to know what he did to me.

My arms slid from his neck to the bottom of my top and began to tug it upwards. Simultaneously Edward began to unbutton his. I locked eyes with him as soon as our shirts were discarded. I challenged him, daring him to look down. He glared back, daring me to do the same.

I smirked and reached my hands behind me to undo my bra. I don't know where this courage had come from. It was all the pain of leaving and want for him that had been building up getting its release. Removing it slowly I gauged Edward's reaction. His eyes began to darken once again, he exhaled sharply and closed his eyes. His jaw taut and his hands around my waist tightening.

"Bella, what are you doing to me?"

"I could ask you the same thing," I breathed. I was practically stripping myself down for Edward. I could feel his hardness pressed against me. We were so close.

"Bella, I don't want to lose control. Please put your clothes back on." He said, trying to make his voice as cordial and polite as possible, but I could hear the shake in his throaty tone.

"No," I said firmly. I was sick of this. I needed him.

His eyes flew open in shock to my defiance. Then he saw me. His eyes focused of my chest. And for the first time he was properly seeing me, up close. My sanity and decency started to come back to me as I felt myself blush.

"Fuck Bella, your blush spreads down your whole body." Edward snarled, his eyes still fixated, his hardness even more prominent against me, if that was even possible. Without thinking, my body's natural reaction to what he just said made me rub against him. Then that was all it took. His hands roughly grabbed my breasts, hip lips were on mine, and we were moving in synchronization against each other. Hard and fast. I was crying out by this point, the pleasure too unbearable. He squeezed my breasts, a primitive growl leaving his mouth, causing our kiss to vibrate. I felt too good. I couldn't think. I couldn't even breathe. He was everywhere. I could smell him. I could taste him. I could feel everything.

His hands left my breasts and replaced them with his mouth. I groaned from the loss of contact from my mouth and bit my lip instead as Edward licked and sucked, making me grind harder against him. His hips began to move faster now, his hands gripping my arse and pushing me against him. I needed some release.

"Edward…" I moaned, closing my eyes, rocking back and forth, back and forth.

"Fuck Isabella, I can smell you. I can smell how much you want me. I smell it all the time. I know how badly you want this," he hissed against my skin, sucking even harder.

I couldn't even formulate a reply. I was too far gone. I couldn't even deny it. I wanted him so badly. I pushed my elbows backwards on the steering wheel, arching my body into to his mouth. He was going to leave marks all over my breasts. I knew it. I could feel it. I didn't give a shit. I was his.

His lips moved lower, kissing down my stomach to my bellybutton, his tongue flicking out. Then he went lower and lower and lower. He had stopped moving against my at this point and he pulled me and pressed his nose against my center over my jeans and inhaled. I held my breath, shaking with excitement. He was so close to where I wanted him. Even through my denim I felt his tongue against my jeans. He then growled in satisfaction. Like an animal. He was an animal. I was his prey. If anything that turned me on even more. I bucked myself into his mouth.

"Oh fuckkkkkk," I gasped.

"Bella, you're drenched."

Wow you don't say.

I just moaned in reply.

He gently set me down onto his lap again. My eyes flew open, meeting his.

His eyes were as I had never seen them before. Yes I'd seen the lust and the hunger. This was something different. This was…possession.

"Listen to me Isabella Swan. You are mine. I am going to fuck you. Now," he hissed into my ear. I shuddered in pleasure.

I froze. Then groaned. But it was too late, his lips were on mine, roughly, his hands pulling down my trousers. I heard rips of my clothing.

I'm the worlds biggest idiot. No not even idiot. I was just a fucking moron.

"STOP! Edward stop!"

Obviously I didn't work. My breast was at his mouth again, his hand sliding down my underwear, meeting with my skin. Theres only one thing I could do.

"FUCK EDWARD, you're hurting me!" I yelled, pushing against his chest. I was really scared now. For a few seconds he carried on, oblivious. Then what I was saying clicked. He growled and pushed me away. As I grabbed his face I looked into his eyes.

"Edward, its happening again. Stop. You don't want to fuck me. You want to make love to me. You love me, remember? You love me," I whispered soothingly.

I knew how to calm Edward down, but this was taking longer than I thought. He was still hard. I was still wet. And basically naked.

He was shaking looking at me, as if he didn't know what he was doing, like he didn't know who I was. Then it was gone. He was back. And before I knew it I was chucked back into my seat. The door of the driver side was open, and Edward was gone. I struggled to sit upright, grabbed Edwards shirt and threw it over me, hastily doing up the buttons. I then got out the car, the freezing air whipping my face.

"Edward," I called into the dark night. There was a whoosh of air past me and I turned around. Narrowing my eyes I made out a figure over by the trees. Edward.

I took a step towards him.

"NO!" He roared, "STAY WHERE YOU ARE."

I was scared. He wouldn't let me not approach him unless something was really wrong.

I held my breath, shaking with the cold.

"Please Edward," I whispered, tears forming in my eyes. Though I suspected it was more from the icy air. For June it was fucking freezing out here.

"Bella," he said softly, "I'm so ashamed."

I couldn't even see his face when he said that.

I knew he couldn't control himself but it wasn't his fault. It was mine. I did it without thinking. I seduced him. Well I wouldn't call it seducing, seeing as I was pretty much the most awkward person. But all in all, this one was on me. He tried to tell me to stop and I completely ignored it. Selfish Bella.

"It's not your fault. This was me, I carried on. Edward listen. I didn't mean for it go that far. We both can't help it. We are as bad as each other."

"The way I was talking to you," he hissed, "I was talking to you as if you were my…my slut." The last word was spat out with menace.

He was worried he was disrespecting me?

I sighed. He was more sensitive on my behalf than I was.

"Edward. I'm leaving tomorrow. I don't want to waste time debating and fighting and…"

"Bella," he interrupted, "Are you not getting it? I did it again. I hurt you."

Oh shit yeah, I forgot I used that one.

That's why he didn't want me close to him, he was scared he might do it again.

"Edward, you didn't really. I just said that because I knew that would make you stop. I didn't mean to make you feel guilty."

I walked towards him now, he stepped back. I was five foot away from him.

I took another step. He hissed.

I was hurt.

"I need you please don't move away from you, you didn't hurt me. I swear. I've never felt so good in my life."

"Bella. No. It doesn't matter if I didn't. I could have."

I was angry now.

"So this is how its going to be is it? Everytime we get intimate you're going to get all moody? Its my birthday Edward. And my last day. Please."

I was using all my leverage now, trying to get him to talk to me. He didn't say anything. I folder my arms across my chest.

"Well fuck you then."

I turned around on my heel and marched away from him in the opposite direction. Thank god I still had my shoes on. I felt tears of frustration pricking from my eyes.

I kept walking down the road we had come, conscious of him watching me. I was going to find that fucking house by myself. I wasn't going to wait around for him to forgive himself.

As I walked away from him I felt my heart hurt. A force inside me telling me to run to Edward. This soul mate thing was so bloody annoying.

And then he was there in front of me, his arms folded, eyebrows raised.

"Bella."

"Edward." I said nonchalantly.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Getting away from you."

"Do you know what that is doing to me," he hissed, walking towards me. He pressed his hand against my heart, looking at me with his smoldering eyes. I couldn't even breathe.

"I know you do. You feel it too, right here," he whispered, pushing gently against my left breast.

That was it; I jumped on him, wrapping my arms around him, shocking him.

"Take me back to yours. I want to just hold you," I whispered into his ear. He walked me towards my car, and sat on the drivers seat with me in his lap. I didn't even question him. He revved up the car and it came to life again.

I just stared at him. His jaw was set in a tight line as he drove. I then gazed at his marble chest. God he was so fucking hot. Then I remembered what he said about being able to smell my arousal. I blushed.

"Bella." He warned through clenched teeth.

I huffed and just leaned against his body, closing my eyes.

"I'm scared you didn't like what happened." I admitted.

All that could be heard was the roaring of the engine as Edward drove us back at a normal speed. Then he said.

"Bella. That was the most amazing thing. It felt so good. So right. So perfect. I'm addicted to you. Which is why I'm so scared right now. I could have accidently taken it too far again. I just…" He trailed off.

I opened my eyes and smiled at him.

"I'm glad you enjoyed that…because… I really did." I whispered. I disregarded the last part. He needed to not be so worried and I knew he would only see in time.

He sighed. But a content sigh.

"I could tell." A smile was playing at his lips as he said that.

"Hmmm." I said smiling, exhausted. I knew I should be scared about Edward driving with me on him. But my safety was the last thing on my mind right now.

"Oh and Bella?"

I looked up at him again, suddenly a tender look came into his eyes.

"I don't think I told you. But your body is so beautiful. Yours eyes. Your stomach. Your lips. Your legs. Your breasts are …exquisite," he sighed, a smile playing at his lips. I turned bright red.

"Shut up." I muttered.

"Never."

I must have fallen asleep after that because when I opened my eyes I was lying in Edwards room on his sofa with a blanket around me in pitch black darkness. I heard the shower running from Edwards bathroom. Edward. Naked. Mmmm.

No Bella, when will you learn? I sighed. Maybe not then. My stomach rumbled loudly. I was so hungry! I got up, plodded along Edward's thick carpet and out of the room managing to find my way down the rows of corridors to the kitchen. I looked in the fridge but nothing tempted me. Then I looked in the freezer. A massive tub of Belgian chocolate ice cream. Perfect.

I took out the tub and a massive spoon from one of the drawers and walked to Edwards office. It was a huge spacious room, not modern like the rest of the house, with a wooden desk and paintings on the walls that I couldn't exactly make out in the dark. I sat on his big comfy chair and began to eat. It was amazing. I hadn't eaten junk food in so long.

I was so absorbed that I jumped when I heard his velvet voice.

"Enjoying yourself?"

I looked up and my Adonis himself was standing there, in skinny jeans and navy sweater with an amused smirk on his face. So beautiful.

"Yeah, what's it to you?" I said, narrowing my eyebrows at him, flipping my hair over my shoulder.

He chuckled quietly and walked towards the desk, planting himself in the seat opposite.

"My girl's got some attitude."

I shrugged and carried on attending to my ice cream.

"Aren't you jealous of me and my ice cream right now?"

Edward wrinkled his nose. I'll take that as a no then.

"Bella, are you aware who's chair you're sitting on?"

I looked around sarcastically and shrugged.

"Do tell."

"The Edward Cullen's chair. The boss. The bigman."

I looked at him with big innocent eyes.

"Oh. Am I not allowed to sit here?"

Edward smiled that crooked smile and placed his hand on the desk and tilted his head.

"I'm afraid not."

I shrugged.

"Deal with it. Im the Bella Swan. I'm the boss' boss."

He chuckled and leaned in, kissing my lips softly for a moment. Then leant back.

"Bella, you're so different."

"How so?"

"When you were here last time, you were running from me. Now you're giving me orders? Not that I don't approve. Your confidence is fascinating. When did this happen? "

I debated even telling him. In the end I decided honesty is the best policy.

"I had to become this," I whispered, looking at the tub, not very hungry anymore.

"Why?"

"Because now no one can push me around." I said, staring at the table.

There was a second of silence and I could practically hear Edward's brain click in relation to what I was talking about.

"Bella," he said, learning back in his chair, "This is my fault. I can't express how-"

"Don't, " I hissed, my eyes snapping up, "Don' t you dare apologise to me. You were worse. Edward I saw your piano. You don't play your piano. You love your music and because of me that got taken away from you. And because of me you went crazy. So please."

Edward looked at me like he wanted to fight back but I raised my eyebrows in a "don't you even go there" kind of way. I say back and tucked my knees up to my chest. I was still wearing Edwards shirt. I liked that.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked Edward softly.

He had been staring at me, but at the same time in deep thought.

"I'm thinking how I don't know how I'm going to deal being without you every second after tomorrow."

"Go about your life as normal."

"I don't know what normal is anymore."

"Neither. I have to go back to school…"

Edwards head snapped up.

"You dropped out of school?"

I nodded. I didn't want him to feel bad about it. Fuck me and my big mouth for spilling that one out.

"Oh Bella…"

"Can we not talk about this anymore? Its fine now. I have you. I don't want to think about that."

Edward sighed.

I could tell he wanted to find out what other crazy things I'd done because of him but no can do.

There was only one thing I knew which could take his mind off hurting me. Maybe…

"Edward, when can I have sex with you?"

Straight out to the point. He snorted.

"You don't waste time do you Bella?"

"How was your shower?" I retorted. Our gazes locked, Edward's eyes were suddenly guarded. We both knew what he'd been doing in that shower. I smirked.

Edward narrowed his eyes and muttered something that sounded like "Too clever for her own fucking good."

I giggle at my tiny victory.

"I'm being serious though Edward. When can we?"

"Not for a while…till you're…changed." He said that last word with disgust.

I gasped.

"That's years."

"One," he corrected grimly.

"That's so fucking long! It's alright for you to say that, you just had you're release. I'm sitting here and…" I blushed at what I was getting at.

No, fuck blushing, I turned beetroot. I basically just told Edward I was completely turned on for him right now. Instead of laughing as I thought he would, his eyes turned dark and he growled.

"I can help you with that…"

I blushed. I wanted him to. Right now. But I wasn't the type to make the same mistake three times. He would definitely lose control.

"No thanks."

My selfish side was screaming, let him! Go on!

But I already felt guilty enough from earlier. I promised Edward when he was strong enough, back on a full animal diet and was able to be gentle, I would let me make love to me.

Edward hissed in frustration.

"Or you could help yourself?"

My breath got caught in my throat. My cheeks flaming.

I needed to control the situation, fast.

"Edward," I said in a small voice, "I'm so tired. I want to sleep."

The second I said that, primal Edward was gone and his caring side broke through.

"Of course, angel."

He walked over, and picked me up in his arms effortlessly. My legs wrapped around his waist and my head rested in the crook of his neck.

In the next second he had placed me on his bed and climbed in, pulling the covers over both of us and holding me to his chest.

"My birthdays over," I said, smiling and looking up at him.

He groaned.

"Bella, you're not normal, anyone else would be depressed."

I laughed.

"You can stop treating me like a princess now."

"Are you joking? Bella. This is how you're going to live from now on. You don't have to even step a foot on the ground when I'm around. I'm going to worship you." He breathed, kissing my forehead.

My heart stammered audibly.

"You never let me do anything for you," I complained.

"Bella, you don't need to. Just the fact that you're around. Its more than anything I could dream of. I've experienced losing you once, and I understand how blessed I am for you to be here right now."

"I feel the same way," I whispered, "So please, anything you want. I will give you."

"Bella, I don't want anything."

"Edward, I know you to well. You want so much. You 're just too much of a gentleman to ask. Tell me, please," I said, pushing my lips against his softly.

He looked hesitant but I smiled urging him to go on.

"I don't…I guess. What I want from you is just for you to take care of yourself. And keep your promise to me, don't let me have sex with you until I can be completely in control. And see me when you can. And just love me," his voice cracked on the last one. He was so selfless. Everything he wanted from me, he wanted for me.

I pulled him closer to me, resting his head on my chest and stroking his hair while he inhaled deeply at my scent, it seemed to calm him. I've never seen him this weak before. He was always the one in control. The one reassuring me that everything would be okay. I knew its because tomorrow I'd be gone.

"I will never not love you. Never ever," I whispered defiantly. It was true. There was no way. That seemed to keep him happy. Then I whispered and said, "But you better learn to control yourself Cullen, I'm not waiting a year to get into your pants."

He chuckled at my stern tone. I rubbed his soft bronze hair again and felt myself slipping to the dark abyss.

The last thing I heard was Edward murmuring, "I only want you to love me."

So? What did you think? Too much? Keep in mind I'm a little rusty. All my AS subjects are science and math. Haven't read a book in about a year.

This chapter is how I wanted it to be. I want Edward and Bella to explore, get to know each other, make mistakes, hurt each other but in the end be with each other.

Also I read my old story just now and actually cringed to myself. I feel like writing the whole of Kidnapped By an Angel again. If I had an unlimited amount of free time, maybe. As it is I'm supposed to be revising for my exams. When I don't get into Uni, I'll definitely regret this. But oh well who cares right now?

Till the next chapter my beloved readers, adios.