Disclaimer: No. Just... no.

Oneshot 9.

Eaten.

"Dan, keep close!" Dan's aunt prodded him anxiously. "And for fu- fudges sake, don't touch anything"

"Yeah, yeah," Dan answered seemingly without a care in the world and took another photo of his aunt.

"Dan, this is serious. Anything-" Aunt Lucy was interrupted mid-word.

"I know, I know. Anything can happen. I'll pay more attention." although Dan seemed annoyed by aunt Lucy's prodding, he knew perfectly well how dangerous it was and actually was pretty wary himself.

After all, you don't go trough eighty hours of course "Jungles 101" and a crash course in archaeology without at least remotely understanding the dangers that lurk in the wild.

On other hand, Dan understood his aunt's reasons for worrying pretty well.

His well-being was pretty important for her relationship with in-laws. Among other reasons. Duh.

Lucy McGento grew up in an orphanage. Her parents had kicked their buckets in a car accident when she was five, and, as both of her parents didn't have any siblings and her grandparents hadn't lived long enough to see her birth, she was all alone in this world.

Maybe because of lack of knowledge about her own roots, Lucy had a passion for history, not to mention that she was very intelligent, so the orphan saved up as much money as she could, steered off of anything even remotely illegal and worked hard.

Dan took another photo of his aunt, this time with her talking animatedly to their guide, and kept on trudging down the small path, pondering about his aunt's past and stepping over the thick vines and knot-like roots that crossed the path almost everywhere.

It didn't surprise anyone when Lucy McGento finished high-school early and got a scholarship to the best archaeological school in the world.

It was there that she met the love of her life- Dean, a cute philosophy and mythology studying man with black, windswept hair and cute dimples.

Lucy and Dean's- who was Dan's mother's brother- relationship was one of those you can read about in romance novels. They were incredibly in love... and Dean's family was against their relationship. There was no real reason- they just didn't like her. Or so Dan thought, nobody ever told him anything.

Despite that, Dean and Lucy had married each other.

And Lucy had kept on trying to please her family-in-law. She was intelligent, polite and nice. She never lost her temper and took every chance she could to make them think better of her.

And then, after a year of being scorned, talked about behind her back and other not so nice stuff despite her utmost efforts, she was finally fed up and blew up at family Christmas dinner. She vented, she threw a few plates and after that was absolutely mortified and locked herself into toilet.

Dan chuckled in memory of that day as he pushed another wine out of his way.

To Lucy's (and Dan's) surprise, it had changed the family's view of her completely. Suddenly, they had accepted her as one of them. The big family teased and joked, and acted like everything was fine and it had been a big joke. Actually, they even started saying that Lucy was too good for Dean.

Later Lucy had a long talk with his grandma, and, while Dan had no idea what exactly they had been talking about, Lucy was more open and Dan, who had held his distance before as his parents hadn't really kept their opinion of Lucy secret from him, had decided that she was his favorite aunt. Not that she had much competition- his other uncle was gay and married to another gay man and they were really openly gay, and, well, they weren't aunts, because they were ... well, guys and gay, and his other aunt was a health freak who was obsessed with dressing him in cute outfits. Cute like sailor uniform for girls. So yeah, no competition. She could have been a pickpocket and a chronic smoker with a split personality and she would still be his favourite aunt.

Dan ducked under an old, sickly green tree and sped up slightly to catch up to the rest of the crew that had disappeared from his sight, his aunt having moved forward fast when the guide had started to spew something about

Dan also held a certain amount of interest in history- namely archaeology. His love for all things archaeological had started as just another phase, just like his short-lived emo phase and slightly longer I-wanna-be-a-pirate phase.

One day, while with friends, he had watched Indiana Jones marathon, and, somehow, it had just compelled to him. It started with movies and slowly Dan become obsessed. The fact that the more he found out, the less it resembled movies, didn't slow his growing obsession- actually, it contributed to it. A year after watching the marathon, Dan knew more about archaeology than his history teacher and had decided to become an archaeologist.

Only reason Lucy hadn't became his role model earlier was simple- he had no idea what she did for living until after the fateful dinner.

Then, she had opened up and started talking about her life and actually expressing her own opinions and Dan started listening. They had bonded, and then Lucy had received a job invitation. She was offered a chance to lead her own expedition to the middle of the Amazon jungles to look for a temple supposedly holding an ancient crocodile statuette made entirely of jewels and silver.

Lucy had been told that most of the people for the expedition- Dan chuckled at the word, reminded of Vinnie Pooh, causing one of the translators look at him strangely- had been already been assembled, but she could take somebody with her.

His aunt had entertained herself with the idea of taking her husband with her -or so she told him- , but Dean was still working on his bachelor's degree (not everybody could finish university two years faster, like she had), and was simply too busy.

So Dan was offered a chance, which he took gladly. More like grabbed with both hands and didn't let go no matter what.

Then he had started going to his crash courses, and-

Dan tripped over something and fell flat on his face, his reflexes too slow for him to manage to drop his hands beneath him.

Damn he thought and struggled to push himself up, They should have included some physical courses- right now a giant rock ball rolling down the path would squash me in a matter of minutes.

Then he noticed that his foot was stuck, a vine entwined around it. The wannabe archaeologist groaned Make that seconds.

What am I doing with my life? he questioned and tried to turn around. His foot was still stuck, the vine entwining it even tighter, so he pulled it. And it pulled back.

The vine slowly started straightening itself out, and then, when it was completely rigid and couldn't be any straighter, it started pulling him. More, more and more vines, just as green and a tiny bit smaller slowly creeped up to him as the slightly bigger vine pulled him jerkily away from the path.

Dan just stared blankly. He felt as if he was having an out of body experience, or at least dreaming- he simply had no control over his body.

The vines pulled him faster and faster, and Dan kept on hitting himself on random roots and plants, sometimes bigger, sometimes- smaller.

Finally, he was pulled in a small, round clearing, and the vines let him go. Dan rolled over and stood up, his legs shaking. Through the whole experience, he hadn't let a sound pass his lips, and right now he regretted it, because he was lost and nobody knew where he was.

Well, they probably wouldn't have been able to do anything. What can you do about mutant vines pulling a guy away? Huh, strange. The ground seems to be tilting. Or am I falling? No, the ground... the red-green-strange ground is standing up... was Dan's last thought as the giant plant swallowed him.

In another dimension, universe or world, in jungles above the clouds a black-haired woman twitched as something moved behind her. She closed her eyes, crossed her hands and muttered something. Tens of hands and eyes sprouted on the trees that surrounded the woman.

Then a thud resounded and a plant... a giant people-eating plant that hadn't been there seconds before... spit out a black headed boy. The boy opened his eyes slowly and with haze fogging his eyes, looked around and looked right Robin, the Devil Child, in the eyes.

He muttered something like "Aunt Luc- luc- Lucy.." and passed out, Robin staring at him with a poker face.

Finally, finished!

Robin and Lucy look the same- and one is the others reincarnation, I couldn't decide which is which.

Yup. ^.^

Thanks Vendelareader, Phalanx and bopricken for reviewing, Anny-Rudolph for following and... yeah, that's all. .

Next time- accidents and meeting an less known, but pretty popular character.

25/12/12, ~ 1:10

Merry Christmas, and hope you enjoyed! Next one should be more fun.