Chapter Nine – The Beginning of the Aftermath
Disclaimer: Still don't own TSCC
Smells of disinfectant and bleach filled the closet, now empty except for a chair and Sarah, rocking Hailey as the little girl slept. Sounds in the corridor leading to the hospital and repair area had lessened as the last of the wounded had been brought in. The only sounds now were the occasional sound of the remains of a Terminator being brought in to see what could be salvaged.
John had left to try to sleep in the dormitory with other single soldiers. He simply could not face the empty bunker he and Cameron had shared. Sarah had not been able to face it either. An orderly had to be sent to retrieve Hailey's few clothes and supplies for her caretaking. Thankful John was safe and the resistance had found a way to repel Skynet's attack, Sarah felt defeated. A great sense of loss overwhelmed her.
Tin Miss had become a part of their lives. The little Terminator showed up at school and inserted herself into the Connor family lives. Sarah had been through so much with her and John. Dealing with Cameron's cyborg personality, her lack of social skills, the attempt on John's life and the fact John had fallen in love with the beautiful Terminator. Sarah reflected about all of her fears in regards to Cameron, how she had worried the machine had evil intentions in mind for John.
Then there had come the time, the first time Sarah really saw John might be able to become a leader, when John had put his foot down. He had insisted Cameron be treated with dignity and respect. Insisting their budding relationship allowed a chance to flourish. Sarah had feared he would push her, his mother, away.
So Sarah had taken a chance on Tin Miss, a measured chance. Sarah would have burned Cameron in a second if the Terminator had threatened John's life again. There was of course the unfortunate incident when Sarah had shot Cameron, but somehow the two alpha females of the Connor family had bonded as a result.
There were problems, just like with any family and the Connor family was hardly any family. Derek had consistently picked at Cameron and took issue with John's relationship with the machine. Cameron's behavior in regards to Derek was erratic and often part of the conflict. She simply could not resist staring contests with Derek or her habit of flicking his ears when she walked past him on the couch, usually on her way out for a night patrol.
Ballet. Something so foreign to Sarah's life had become such an important part of the bonding of the family. That a Terminator could create beauty through dance opened Sarah's eyes to the potential Cameron had to develop as a person. Not just a machine. A person. Derek had seen it too. The recitals and performances became as important to the family as stockpiling weapons and fighting Skynet.
Somehow Cameron stopped being a Terminator in Sarah's eyes, she became something more, almost a daughter in some ways. The Terminator so needed to make John happy, to please him. For whatever reason, Cameron had sought Sarah out to be her mentor, to teach her the things Cameron needed to know to be a good mate for John, to fit in better in human society.
They still had conflict. How could two strong willed females who loved the same strong willed man not clash? Cameron had become more possessive of John after the two had married. It had taken Sarah some time to make peace with the change. In time Sarah had come to take comfort in the possessiveness of Cameron, it was another way she tried to protect John, their John. Cameron had kept her promise to Sarah. The machine had never tried to force Sarah out of John's life.
Cameron had even found a way to keep the promise to make John a father, to make Sarah a grandmother. In making this impossible promise, Sarah learned Cameron had agonized alone over her inability to bear John a child. Now Sarah held John's adopted daughter and Cameron was gone.
They had been through so much. The mistrust, the arguing, the struggles, to forgive and to learn to become a family, for Cameron to be gone now seemed so injustice. But when had life ever been just for the Connor family?
John was numb. The news of his missing wife had sent him into shock. John had wandered throughout the complex, half numb with pain and half looking for his wife. The news Cameron had last been seen with her squad, the squad that had taken down the HKs and the fleeing troop carrier had been discouraging. The carrier had crashed on the ridge where her Silvers had fired surface-to-air missiles responsible for bringing down the troop carrier. Even Derek was upset.
So much loss and suffering. All of it unnecessary and preventable. If only she had found and destroyed Skynet before Judgment Day. The guilt weighed down on Sarah, crushing her spirit. If she had not cried all of her tears out already, Sarah would be sobbing even then.
The Old Man. The old T-600 had kept his word. The Old Man had been found in the hospital, his legs blown off, dragging himself towards the room Sarah had fled from down the escape tunnel to safety. It was not until Sarah had arrived with Hailey and the T-600 had seen her and her granddaughter with his one remaining optic sensor that he had stopped his efforts to leave the repair center to find them. Terminators never give up. She had heard the incredible story of how the Old Man had terminated two T-888s with thermite grenades.
Sounds of something heavy moving down the corridor broke the silence. Voices of the medics and techs could be heard. More wounded. More damaged terminators.
The sudden knock on the door of her refuge broke Sarah's reverie. The door opened and the face of Wilhelm appeared.
"Sarah Connor, I apologize for the lateness of my arrival and the lack of communication. My communications equipment shorted out when General Connor contacted me. I require significant repairs to my left leg. I have brought with me your daughter-in-law, the General's wife, Cameron."
Sarah burst through the door to see Cameron being placed on a liter by a medic and three techs. Her face was filthy, her flesh in shreds. To Sarah's horror, Cameron's left arm was missing.
The touch of Wilhelm's steel fingers, his flesh covering burned away, shocked Sarah with its cold. Holding tight to Hailey, Sarah covered her granddaughter's face, preventing her from seeing her mother if the little girl woke up. Turning to look up at Wilhelm, Sarah's eyes questioned the veteran fighter.
"Her CPU shut down to prevent a systems failure. Cameron's programming is still there. Her self-preservation routines saved her. My Commander will require a new arm and time to allow her synthetic flesh covering to regenerate. I am sure there are other issues as well, but she will lead the Silvers again."
Sarah leaned against the T-800 and felt him stagger briefly before regaining his balance. "Does John know yet?"
"I have just arrived. I felt it was more important to bring Commander Connor here first. I will leave to inform the General now. Where can I find the General?"
Staggering for a second time as he finished speaking, Sarah looked down to see the cause of Wilhelm's lack of balance. His left foot was gone. Wilhelm had carried Cameron all the way to the hospital with a missing foot, walking on the stub of his lower left leg. Thank goodness, Sarah thought, Terminators never give up.
48 Hours Later…
Sitting side-by-side in the small room, John and Sarah watched in silence as the two techs finished the final adjustments on Cameron. Hailey sat in the corner playing with a block of wood, making sounds. Doctor Johnson watched with curiosity from the door. In the corridor, Wilhelm, the Old Man and Sergeant Brighton sat at a makeshift table, engaged in an activity soldiers used by soldiers to kill time, regardless of army or war. The three were arguing over a card game, accusing each other of cheating.
The Old Man rocked back and forth in his wheelchair, frustrated over not having new legs yet. Wilhelm had yet to receive a new foot and was forced to use a pair of makeshift steel crutches.
"Ya'll need to stop your whining. For a pair of machines, ya'll cry like little babies. The General's daughter is tougher than you two rusted machines. You don't hear me complaining about my missing arm do you?"
Wilhelm growled at the old one-armed Marine, displaying a new skill for the aging Terminator. "Shut up and deal. Make sure you deal all the cards from the top of the deck this time. Remember, I have photographic memory and can replay everything to make sure to do not cheat."
Inside the room, the two techs stepped back. The senior tech turned to look at John, then Sarah and finally Doctor Johnson.
"We've finished all we can without Mrs. Connor running self-diagnostics to tell us what else needs to be repaired."
John nodded and reached for Sarah's hand, squeezing his mother's hand in fear. Sarah squeezed John's hand back to reassure him.
Cameron should be the one comforting John. He needs her so badly. Please let Cameron function. I need her to function.
Realizing his mother was also anxious, John managed to force a smile on his face. "She's tough Mom. Cameron's tougher than all of us."
"Would you please leave us," John asked the two techs. As they left Doctor Johnson excused himself as well, shutting the door behind him.
John stood and gently covered Cameron with a dirty, tattered blanket so Hailey would not see just how much of Cameron's skin was gone. John feared how Hailey would react seeing how obvious it was her adopted mother was a Terminator and not human.
Sarah scooped Hailey up and set the little girl on her hip. "John, I'll give you a few minutes alone with Cameron. If she's OK, and your OK, I need to see her and so does Hailey." Without another word, Sarah opened the door and left John alone with his damaged wife, silently shutting the door as she left.
John looked down at his wife. Even with all of her damage, Cameron was still the most beautiful creature John had ever seen. Reaching to the open wound on her scalp, John reactivated her and sat down to wait for the two minutes it would take for her system to reboot and start up.
He watched her one remaining eyelid, counting the seconds. Suddenly her optic sensor flashed blue and her eyelid opened quickly. A panicked expression came to her face as Cameron's sensors quickly scanned her body and surroundings, seeking data to answer her questions.
"John?"
"I'm right here. I'm right here Cameron."
"Hailey?"
"She's outside with Mom. Hailey's fine. She just wants to see her mother."
"Did we, did we?"
"We repelled them. I don't know much about the aftermath; I just couldn't pull myself away from you. Some leader I am."
"John?"
"Yes, Cameron, what do you need?"
"Do you still love me?"
"Yes, I still love you!"
John's heart warmed as he watched the damaged tissue of Cameron's face form a happy expression.
"Cameron?"
"Yes, John?"
"You know I will always love you. You don't have to ask."
"I know," she said with a faint smile, "I just like to hear the words when you say them to me."
John leaned over and kissed his wife on her scalp so her sensors could feel his gentle kiss.
"How do you feel?"
"If I was human I would be on massive amounts of painkillers. I do not feel well. My CPU has run self-diagnostics. The repairs made to me are all satisfactory and up to my factory specs with the exception of my left arm. It is fully functioning within all parameters, but my sensors indicate it was hand made, using machined parts."
"The techs hand made your arm. Your original arm was crushed beyond repair. Being a one of a kind Terminator does have some disadvantages. We can't stock up on spare parts to repair you."
"Please give the techs my thanks until I can do so myself. My internal chronometer tells me I have been shut down for 59 hours. The techs could have made better use of their time repairing other Terminators."
"Yes, Cameron, but none of the other Terminators are my wife, the leader of the Silvers. Your Silvers turned the tide after the battle at the hospital."
The door opened, interrupting their private moment. Sarah leaned in with a wildly wiggling Hailey in her arms.
"Mommy! Mommy!"
Sarah walked in struggling to hold on to Hailey as the little girl squirmed to turn herself around so she could face Cameron. Leaning over to reach for her mother, Hailey reached out with both arms, closing and opening her fists, expressing her desire for her mother to cradle her.
Cameron reached up to take her child and in doing so her arms came from under the blanket, exposing the fact Cameron had mechanical arms. Realizing what she had done, Cameron froze, as did Sarah and John. They had yet to tell Hailey her adopted mother was a machine, a machine like the killer who had murdered her birth parents.
Hailey, sensing something was wrong, frowned for a moment in confusion. Being a two year old, her need to be held by her mother after three days overcame Hailey's need to determine why the grownups were suddenly upset.
Wiggling out of Sarah's grasp, Hailey crashed down on top of Cameron. Within seconds she was straddling Cameron's chest, delighted to see her mother. Trying to hide her fleshless arms, Cameron tried to place the frightening appendages under the covers.
"Mommy has arms like Old Man," Hailey declared as she lay down on Cameron's chest.
Pulling the cover back, Hailey ran her fingers over Cameron's new arm. "Where your skin Mommy?"
The adults in the room remained speechless.
Hailey raised her head and looked closely at Cameron's bandaged face, noting the patch covering her newly replaced optic sensor.
"You and Sergeant Wilhelm are Terminators," Hailey declared with certainty. "Daddy is human, like me. So is Geema Sarah. Why doesn't Old Man have skin like you Mommy?"
Watching from the open door, Doctor Johnson shook his head in amazement. Children adapt so much better than adults. It doesn't even occur to Hailey how unnatural her family is. She simply accepts her mother for who and what she is.
That evening…
Cameron lay in a bed in new quarters. Damage to the corridor to their old quarters had caused the engineers to declare the area off limits until structural repairs were made or the decision to relocate was made.
John had gone to be debriefed, giving Cameron time to try to make the room have some semblance of home. She moved carefully, not wishing to admit her body was still repairing itself and to allow her CPU time to check all of the subroutines. Her new arm worked well, within 94% of her original capacity, a fact she would eventually share with the two techs who had hand crafted her new arm. Not to disparage their efforts, but rather to let them know just how well the arm worked, given they had no original specifications to work from.
Feeling tired, Cameron decided to lie down. Cameron didn't know why she felt tired. It was not possible Terminators to get tired. After some reflection and examination of her recent data on Cameron's functions, she came to the conclusion the fatigue she felt was due to the recent trauma to her body and the stress on her CPU running so many programs at a single time.
Cutting the light out, she lay down on their bed and pulled a single blanket over her. John was alive. Hailey was alive. Both were healthy and functioning well physically. Hailey seemed to be fine mentally, Cameron thought. Probably due to Sarah's experience as a mother in raising a child in a chaotic environment, I must thank her when I next see her.
Sarah looked like Sarah. She had not lost any additional weight and Cameron's scans indicated the cancerous tumor had shrunk in size, clearly due to the treatment from the doctors in Mexico.
Derek was fine. Some more wounds to add to his collection of scars but still just as mean to her as always. He was happy she had survived. To let him know she was pleased he was alive, Cameron had managed to flick the back of his right ear when he leaned over to insult her. Without her flesh covering and fingernail, the steel fingertip had stung much worse than normal.
John looked awful. The strain of the battle and her not being by his side in the aftermath was telling. John needed her care and protection. Cameron got up and removed all of her clothing including her undergarments. Digging through the bag containing her clothes, Cameron found the old blue dress shirt of John's she used as a nightgown.
Smiling, Cameron slipped on the shirt. Well, I look like a fright with all my skin gone on my arms and no amount of make up will cover the damage to my face, but all the necessary equipment John likes so much is intact and undamaged. Sarah was kind to keep Hailey tonight. John needs me to seduce him, to make him feel loved and special, to forget for a little while.
Two hours passed as Cameron lay in bed, patiently waiting for her John. She reviewed all the casualty lists of her Silvers and all the tasks awaiting her attention at the start of the next duty shift. Cameron had decided to delegate as much as possible to free up time to spend with Hailey and John. Cameron had ordered Wilhelm and the Old Man be moved to the front of the repair line so she entrust them with many of the tasks she needed to have done within the next few days.
Delegate and inspect. John had told her and told her this but neither of them was good at putting it into practice. That was going to change, starting tomorrow morning Cameron decided. What good was commanding Terminators, creatures who required purpose, to serve, in order to function well, to be happy, if you couldn't keep them busy, fulfilling a purpose.
The door opened and closed quickly but silently. John was home. Knowing it was impossible for Cameron not to sense his arrival, John played a game of trying to "wake her up." He undressed quietly and slipped under the blanket on his side of the bed.
Cameron rolled over and kissed her husband. Running her steel fingers through his hair she looked John in the eye, telling him how much she loved him with her gaze. John smiled back and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her head down to his chest.
Cameron allowed John to hold her for a few minutes before sitting up next to him. Smiling, she unbuttoned several of the buttons on the shirt, allowing the front to open slightly all the way down to her abdomen. Taking John's right hand in hers, she began to move his hand to her chest.
John smiled and stopped the forward movement of his hand.
"No. Not tonight Cameron."
John smiled at her and looked at his wife.
"It means a lot to me, your desire to be intimate. But not tonight."
Confused and worried by his reaction, Cameron's face reflected her confusion.
"Tonight, I just want to hold my wife. I want to sleep without nightmares. I want you to have a good long period of downtime while your CPU runs diagnostics and maintenance. Tonight, we are just going to enjoy being alive and together."
"John, is this what you want?"
John realized Cameron was confused. He had never turned down any overtures for sex from her before. His petite cyborg had no reference data to help her decide how to act, how to interpret the situation and respond appropriately.
Earlier when returning to their new quarters, John had remembered his mother's admonitions about not using Cameron for his sexual gratification, to remember to treat her like she was special, to spend time being intimate without the purely sexual aspect.
"Yes, it's not only what I want, it's what both of us need."
"No, you are just being nice because I am not beautiful with all of my damage. I am still fully able to respond to you sexually as your wife. It is my desire to do so. Sarah is keeping Hailey tonight so there is no reason not to please you."
"Yes, Cameron there is."
Still sitting up, the thoroughly confused Cameron was not experiencing frustration and to let John know it, she put her best pouting expression on.
John just smiled in response.
Her curiosity getting the better of her, Cameron tilted her head to the side, letting John know without speaking she needed him to explain.
"Turn around," John ordered.
With her head still tilted, Cameron turned her body so her back faced John. She felt him run his hand under her shirt and up her back. He slowly began scratching her back, moving his hand in gentle circles.
"Tonight is about you Cameron. That's what I want. Just to be with you, to touch you, smell you and when I can't say awake any longer, to hold you while I sleep. I want my wife."
Cameron sat silently as John first scratched her back, then gently rubbed her feet with his strong hands. Finally John had stretched out and pulled her down against him. With her head on his chest, John had spent nearly half an hour rubbing her scalp and running his fingers through her hair.
Cameron loved the experience. The sensations it provided her CPU were both sensual and comforting at the same time. Pleasant was another word she thought of to describe her interaction with John. Cameron decided she liked what John was doing. She liked the attention he was paying to her and her alone. Touching her so she would feel pleasure while not having to return it.
Sensing John was relaxing and would soon fall asleep, Cameron shifted until both she and John were comfortable. Snuggled as close as she could get to her husband, Cameron smiled. She was happy.
"Cameron?"
"Yes, John?"
"Did you like that?"
"It was wonderful John. You've never done that before. It made me feel special because you paid attention to me. Just me and nothing else."
"I liked it too Cameron. You realize, we can do this with Hailey in the room."
Smiling Cameron nodded her head, "Yes, we can John."
Within in seconds John had fallen asleep. Cameron scanned his body. He was sleeping peacefully. Her CPU began shutting down systems, running diagnostics and entered Cameron into a maintenance mode. Both of the Connors would sleep peacefully that night.
The nightmares would return soon enough in the morning.