The Godswood is silent except for the sounds of their breathing. She senses him coming closer even though he makes no sound. He doesn't need to.
"Arya...," his voice is low, almost a whisper.
"Run away with me, Jon," she pleads turning around and clutching his hand, "we will go away somewhere far, away from all of this."
"You know you don't really mean that."
"Jon!" She sighs in frustration, "I cannot marry him. I cannot! I am in love with you. I belong to you!"
"Arya."
She crashes to his chest and cries. He holds her tightly and kisses her hair, whispering soothing words.
"You know this was never going to be. Sooner or later, you have to get married."
They stay in each other's arms in silence. Arya feels her body go numb.
"Marry me."
Jon looks down at her with surprise.
"Marry me, Jon. Right here. Right now. You are the only husband I will ever have."
"But Arya, we cannot."
"Yes, we can. We love each other. There is no need for anything else. Please Jon, please."
Jon stares at her and Arya can see his hesitation. He is always careful. Total opposite of her carelessness, but despite it, they are the most similar in the family.
Arya thinks about Aegon. She doesn't understand why he thinks she'll marry him. But he does, and she cannot reject him. He is the Prince. And even if she did, her mother would hate her forever.
"Tell me, Jon. Will you marry me?"
His eyes locks on hers, two mirrors reflecting each other. He takes her hand and nods.
"Yes. We'll marry. Right now."
He holds her hand and takes her to the Heart Tree. They turn to each other and smile. Jon takes Arya's hands and takes a deep breath.
"Arya Stark, today in front of the Old Gods, in the most sacred place, I take you as my wife. I will love you for eternity. This love will not end with my death or yours, for we will live within each other's soul forever. Even if we separate, I will belong to you, every single part of me. I love you Arya Stark. Jon Snow is yours, today, tomorrow and until oblivion."
Arya doesn't stop the tears from spilling. Why are we so doomed? Do we not deserve happiness?
She waits till her breathing slows and begins,
"I, Arya Stark, take you Jon Snow, as my husband, in the presence of the Old Gods. I am yours and you are mine. I will love you till the stars rain down from the heavens. My body, my soul, my love, all of it is yours. Now and forever."
Jon takes her mouth in a feverish kiss, without restraint. Her arms wound around his body. Their kiss is careless, and soon she can taste the tears that are falling from both of their eyes. The taste of love, belonging, passion and tragedy.
Arya falls to her knees and pulls Jon down with her. She breaks their kiss and touches his forehead with hers, staring at his face. After what feels like hours, she looks at him and pleads, eyes full of new tears ready to spill.
"Take me, Jon."
Jon looks at her sadly.
"We cannot, Arya. We're-"
"Only Jon. Only Arya." She interrupts, "My Jon and your Arya."
Jon kisses her and it makes her fall backwards into the snow. She pulls him closer and he holds her waist, kissing her with hunger. He takes his lips off hers and whispers, voice full of want,
"Are you sure, my love? You are going to get married."
"Isn't it more convenient? If I bear your child, we could pass it off as his."
"But he'll know. The night...," his voice fades.
"I do not care."
And she leans up and kisses him again. Jon sits up and pulls her off the ground with him, making her sit on his lap. His mouth moves to her neck, making Arya moan.
She spreads her legs and straddles him. He pulls her dress up to her waist and his hands make contact with the skin of her thighs, making her throw her head back. He kisses her neck gently before pulling the dress off her. Arya shiveres as the cold air hits her skin. She holds on to Jon as he unwraps the cloak from his shoulders and puts in on the snow, then gently lays Arya on top of it.
"Kiss me, it's cold," she whispers and he does, nipping her skin and touching her till she almost doesn't feel the chill.
Jon takes one of her nipples in his mouth and sucks, and Arya clasps his shoulders. Her hands travel to his breeches and he helps her undo them. He kisses her abdomen and she pulls his hair.
Arya gasps loudly as his hand touches her cunt. He runs his finger over it and slowly inserts a finger into her. Arya moans unashamedly as Jon starts pushing his finger in and out. Her pleasure builds until she lets out a loud moan and comes.
As she tries to control her breathing, Jon leans over her and looks into her eyes, asking again silently if she's sure. Arya nods and wraps her legs around his waist.
Arya closes her eyes when he gently pushes into her. It feels a little uncomfortable. She doesn't move and Jon continues pushing until he is fully inside. He looks at her to see if she's hurting. She's not. After staying still for a few moments, she wraps her arms around his neck, pulls him closer and thrusts her hips up.
Jon lets out a growl and starts moving inside her. Arya's eyes flow to the back of her head at the intense pleasure. Jon kisses her neck, nipping and sucking at the skin, as his moves gain pace.
Arya holds on to Jon's back as both of them move in rhythm. Her moans and his groans fill the silent Godswood. At one point Arya looks up at the heart tree. She feels guilty but then shrugs the feeling off. Love cannot be wrong. Not here, not anywhere.
As they reach their peak together, Jon bites her neck, making Arya growl even louder. As he pulls himself from inside her, Arya doesn't let her hold loose. She still clutches on to him, never wanting to let go. As if understanding, Jon doesn't pull away. He simply shifts their positions, both of them now laying side by side, looking at each other. Arya pulls the cloak around them and Jon pulls her small, naked body close to his.
"My Arya...," he whispers.
"Always." She smiles.
Uncle Benjen comes the day before they leave for King's Landing. Arya doesn't see most of him because her mother is busy grooming her for the Prince. She sneaks off that night to Jon's chambers once everyone is asleep. She sees him laying awake, his arm over his head. He turns his head and seems surprised to see her.
"Arya?"
"Who else?" She closes the door behind him.
"You know if someone sees you here-"
"Jon!" She climbs on the bed, rolling her eyes. Jon turns to her and kisses her, and sits up on the bed, making her sit on his lap, his back to her chest.
"I only worry for you, love," Jon whispers in her her planting a small kiss on her neck. He wraps his arms around her waist.
"I thought you'd be asleep," she says, "It is quite a long journey to King's Landing."
As soon as the words leave her mouth, Arya feels Jon stiffen behind her. She senses his tension and turns around to face him.
"What?" Her palms press to his cheeks.
"I am not going to King's Landing, Arya."
Arya's eyes widen.
"Why? Please, Jon. I may not come back here for years. You have to come with me."
"Arya," his voice is pained, and Arya anticipates something bad. "I am going to join the Night's Watch."
Arya's hands drop from his face. She watches him look down, his eyes glistening.
"No, no, no, no, no! No! You cannot leave me. Why do you want to go?" She cries.
"You are getting married, Arya." Jon's eyes are locked on hers. "There is nothing for me here now. It doesn't matter how strong I claim myself to be, I cannot watch you become his wife, nor can I ever take one myself. I will join the Night's Watch because I do not want to get married, because I am a bastard, and because I am in love with you Arya Stark, and Winterfell can never feel like home without you."
"What if I never see you again?"
Jon takes her face in his hands and drops kisses on her eyes, nose, cheeks and forehead.
"Will this be our last night together?" She pleads, sobbing.
"I do not know, love."
"Let me stay with you tonight. I want to remember you laying next to me and holding me close." Arya stops herself from breaking down completely. She sees the agony in Jon's eyes, and knows that if she cries now, Jon will break too. He couldn't. He holds her until she falls asleep shaking in his arms.
The next morning, Jon leaves. Only she, her father, Robb and Bran and Jory are present to bid him goodbye. As he rides away, he turns one last time and Arya feels her heart breaking at the thought of how long she would not be able to see that face or those eyes.
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Arya doesn't hate Aegon. He seems to be a good lad and she is surprised she likes him. But the day of their wedding this liking turns to something else. As he puts his cloak around her, she wishes it was Jon's. She wishes it was Jon's lips on hers. She regrets not running away with him. She regrets not giving him enough reason to stay. She regrets not having the courage to decline Aegon's offer. She regrets, until the likeness she feels for him turns to pain.
She is surprised when he doesn't chastise her for what she says she'd done. In the back of her mind, she wishes he would reject her as his wife. She could never be his anyway.
But he doesn't. He claims to love her and then Arya is sure there is no escape from this. She has to perform her marital duties and so she does. Jon's face comes to her mind when Aegon spills himself inside her, and she almost says his name out loud. Almost.
Arya tries to love Aegon, she really does, especially after she hears about the baby. Whoever's child it is, she and Aegon will have to take care of it together. She can see he loves her fiercely, with a passion she could never give him in return. She tries, and just when she thinks she might have a chance of loving him, the letter arrives, and Arya remembers her promise: My body, my soul, my love, all of it is yours.
Jon's. Only Jon's.
The last flicker of hope fades away when he 'commands' her not to go and see Jon. Who is he to keep her from her true husband and her only love? So she declines to follow his order. And in her head declines to never even for a second ponder again over the thought of falling in love with him.
The sight leaves her knees shaking. For the first time in years, Arya Stark feels genuine fear, one that clutches on to her heart and refuses to let go.
He has cuts all over his body. There are wounds made by arrows. She leans close and hears his breathing, searching for the consolation that he is still here, with her. They are together.
He wakes up after two weeks. His eyes look tired but they still mirror her own. It makes her smile. He looks at her and his face looks as if he has caught sight of some ghost. He says her name is a soft, raspy voice, and Arya leans forward to stroke his cheek.
"We could've run away, you know. We could've become man and wife," she whispers.
"Are we not already? You are mine as I am yours."
"Don't be so sure, love. I have bedded another."
"Trifle with me all you want, Arya. Your eyes prove my words, and they never lie to me."
As weeks pass, he becomes more weak. Arya never leaves his side if she can help it. She tells him one day that she is pregnant. He doesn't say anything, but Arya senses his unspoken words.
She herself wonders whose child it is. As her belly grows larger, she occasionally feels the trembling of the baby inside. Her palm softly presses against it. Jon's. Please be Jon's.
Her cries echo the room as she presses her forehead against his and pleads.
"Stay, stay, stay, stay. Please!"
"Arya...," his voice is so soft she barely hears it. With shaking arms, he embraces her, his fingers cold.
"You cannot leave me alone! I'll die with you!"
He lets out a low chuckle and Arya barely stops herself from falling down to her knees.
"My Arya... Do you think I will let you do that? And there is a baby in you, you would risk its life?"
"I'll burn my womb, Jon, if it means I can be with you." She says.
"Kiss me Arya, one last time," he whispers.
She leans and kisses him lightly on the lips. Her own lips shake.
"This love will not end with my death or yours, for we will live within each other's soul forever," his voice breaks, "Jon Snow is yours, today, tomorrow and until oblivion."
She kisses his lips once more before before closing her eyes and saying,
"My body, my soul, my love, all of it is yours. Now and forever."
And when she opens them, he is gone.
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It feels like a lifetime before she feels happy again. As the Maester lays the baby in her arms, she knows it is his. She can see Jon in his eyes the moment he looks at her. Her Northern Prince. She recalls her words: No power, no God, no man. It is true. Though Aegon had her a few times, her first time, the only time, with her Jon was enough.
Her marriage with Aegon crumbles. But she doesn't feel sad. Not even when he starts bringing other women to his bed. She is at least glad he isn't lonely. She knows he thinks her an ungrateful woman, but she is not. She is only a woman who had to marry a man she didn't love. Only a lonely wife who has to stay and survive her entire life without her lover and husband.
One day, when they are both seated together during a tourney, Arya looks at Aegon properly after what seems like ages, his silver hair and purple eyes.
"Did you ever love me?" His voice breaks the silence.
No, never. My heart always belonged to another.
"You're my husband. I will always love you." She lies. She knows it is to far off to lie now, but Arya is still his wife. Some things must not be said aloud, even if you want to shout it at the top of your lungs.
He looks at her sullenly,
"But it is different."
No lying now.
"From what I feel for him? Yes." Her voice has not a bit of hesitation.
"Why? Did I not love you enough?"
Arya took a deep breath.
"It was long before you loved me, Aegon. How could I have controlled something that was not in my hands? I could've pretented to love you, but what would that do? My heart can never be yours."
The boy grows up to become much like his father. Arya remembers the time they were little and played together. Jon always sided with Arya, even if that meant he had to rival Robb.
A cold wind blows and Arya's breath catches. It almost feels like home, the snow, the wools.
Brandon runs towards her. When he laughs, she remembers Jon.
A/N: I... just hope you don't wanna kill me. Leave a review please. Hope you enjoyed it.