AN: Okay guys! I know you guys are trying to wait patiently for me to update and I never do...but work honestly beats my ass and I'm so tired after it all! But, I will try to update as often as I can. I don't plan on giving up on this story just because I'm working though...remember that. And I plan on doing things a bit differently now...like having different POV's come in and having the same POV's in a row...just so y'all are aware! So...this is long overdue but, here's chapter 17!

Chapter 17

Addison's POV:

They always say that life flashes before your eyes...that life in changes in a moment...and there's nothing you can do to stop it...but it's not really something you want to think about. We shouldn't have to think about negative things...until they happen, at least. And I can say that I wish I never knew how this feeling felt. It was bad enough with what happened to my mother...and now Charlotte...the woman I loved to hate, turned into the most important person in my entire life...and she just got shot in front of me.

What if I had gotten there sooner? What if I had distracted Tessa? What if Charlotte and I never had a fight in the first place? Too many what if's...and even if I knew the answers to all of them, I would never be able to go back in time and change what happened. And even though I knew that fact to be true, it would probably never cause me to stop blaming myself.

As they're rushing Charlotte into St. Ambrose on a stretcher, I'm trying to keep up with them but with my emotions running high and being in heels didn't help matters! There's a new trauma surgeon working with Pete and they see Charlotte being rushed in...and me running in behind them. They don't have time to ask me much, but they tell me that they'll do whatever they can to save her.

I want to fight them...but I feel so weak I can barely stand. With a shudder, I collapse onto an available chair.

"Addison!" I hear a familiar voice call out in the distance, but I'm too much like a zombie to even realize. "Addison! What the hell happened?!" I look up slowly to see Amelia running towards me, fresh out of surgery with her scrub cap still on and her face mask around her neck.

"She shot her..." I swallow thickly. "One of my patients s-shot Charlotte and I...I don't know why somebody would do this...let alone her!" I shared so many things with Tessa...and it's not something I do often, so to say I felt like a fool was an understatement! "I just stood there. I-I...I watched it happen, Amelia...I could've stopped it..." I gasp softly, before dropping my head and beginning to cry. "What if she dies, Amelia?"

The neurosurgeon doesn't say much, but she takes a seat next to me, placing her hand softly on my back. "She's not going to die..."

"You...d-don't know that, Amelia!" I cry out during my soft sobs. "I can't lose her...I love her..." I look up at her weakly.

"And she's my best friend, Addison! I love her too! You know how I'd feel if I lost her?" Amelia snaps back at me and it makes me jump back a bit. Amelia never got like that... "We need to get you cleaned up, come on..."

"I'm fine, Amelia. I need to stay here-" I go to explain to her but I'm interrupted.

"There's blood all over you..." She whispers to me, but loud enough for me to make out. I look down with clouded vision to see my hands covered in blood, some even on my arms and dress. "Please..." She starts taking me by the arms to get me up...and I have no choice but to get up and follow her. I tried to stop the blood from flowing... I think to myself. It didn't work...

I'm like a statue as Amelia takes me into the women's bathroom and takes me over to the sink...having no kind of emotion or feeling to me whatsoever. The whole shooting...the helpless look on Charlotte's face...the way she was looking at me after she was shot...the fact that I also let Tessa get away...it's making me sick to my stomach...

"Oh God..." I mutter softly to Amelia, who knows what's about to happen that instant so she lets go of my hands, not even getting a chance to help me get cleaned up. I run into the closest stall and kneel down, before throwing up anything that's possibly left in my stomach...so much that I'm dry heaving into the toilet and gasping for air. I feel Amelia's hand on my back again and I sigh heavily. If I was weak before, I'm pretty much wavering now and would probably be face first into the toilet if I didn't have that much self control left. "Amelia...I'm so scared..." I cry out desperately, feeling so many emotions at that moment that I can barely keep my head on my shoulders.

"I know, honey..." She rubs small circles onto my back. "But Charlotte wouldn't want us to panic like this..." She knows as well as I do that we're not going to stop worrying.

I try to listen to her advice and I slowly nod. "Can you get me a change of clothes...? I might have a pair of sweats and a t-shirt down in my locker...but it's probably locked..."

"I'll get them...don't worry about it..." Amelia tells me, helping me stand up again, knowing I won't throw up again anytime soon.

"Thank you..." I tell her weakly, before she takes me over to a chair that's sitting in the corner of the room.

"I'll be right back!" She tells me, before running out.

"I'll be here..." I watch her go, but it doesn't take long for me to get lost in my thoughts again...thoughts of Charlotte...and this one definitely hits close to home.

I'm stuck in a flashback from a month or so back. It was a gorgeous night on the beach...a bit breezy, but not cold, yet still warm...and the whole beach and ocean was lit up by the bright full moon above it.

Charlotte was rather quiet that night...which meant she was worried about something or pondering her little mind about something. Charlotte was never one to open up but, it didn't mean I wouldn't ask her.

I'm about to ask her what's on her mind, when Charlotte asks me a question out of the blue. "What would you do if I was dyin'...?"

And to say it shocks me isn't the right word to describe it! "Charlotte...why would you ask me something like that?"

"It's just a question..." My blonde girlfriend tells me with a sigh...which doesn't help me feel better, because it makes me think that Charlotte's secretly dying and not telling me!

"No, it's not..." I reply back concernedly, looking into her intense green eyes. "Why are you asking me this, Charlotte...?"

"'Cause..." She looks up at me slowly, caressing my arm softly with her hand. "We never know what's gonna happen tomorrow...and I wanna know what you'd without me..."

I cup her face softly, looking deeply into her eyes. "Charlotte...you're not going to die...not anytime soon...and you're right...we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow...but that's how life is." I explain to her. "We can't live each day wondering if we're going to die, or if the world is going to end..." I caress her cheek. "We need to live in the moment...we have to live for now..."

Charlotte just continues to look into my eyes, and after a while, she smiles softly. "I knew there was a reason why I'm with you..."

I give her a plain look. "Oh...like you didn't know before?" She chuckles softly. "Please, baby...promise me you won't think like that...okay?"

Charlotte nods, but purses her lips. "Answer one question for me though..."

"Sure...anything..." I tell her with a smile.

"Even if it was the worst possible situation ever...and there was little to no hope for me...would you give up on me?" My girlfriend asks me, and it brings tears to my eyes.

I shake my head. "No...I'd never give up on you...not in a million years...because I love you, Charlotte...and you don't give up on the ones you love." I answer her honestly and truthfully, straight from my heart and soul.

Charlotte smiles a smile I haven't seen in a while and it makes me sigh happily. "I wouldn't give up on you either, darlin'...I love you too..."

I come out of the reverie with a sigh, before inhaling slowly. I wasn't about to mope around like Charlotte was on her last string.

"I'm going to go out there and fight for her...Charlotte needs me right now..." I remind myself, wiping away a few tears with the back of my hand. "I'm not going to give up on her...not ever..."

...Not even if her heart stops beating...

AN: I KNOW IT'S HORRIBLE ENDING AFTER THREE MONTHS OF NOT UPDATING...and I'm sorry! I've seen all of your reviews to update and I haven't been inspired (mainly because the show isn't on anymore) and I felt bad for leaving you all hanging for this long, so I updated! It's the best chapter I can do at the moment and I hope you guys are satisfied! And I MIGHT have Addison have one more POV after this, I may bring in another character's, I dunno...I'm trying to plan it all out because I wanted to do something interesting for Charlotte's POV's! But I'm not giving out spoilers! I can't promise when I'll update again, but hopefully this chapter can hold you guys over for a bit! : ) Thank you all for still reading even though I'm a horrible person for updating slowly! xD