Primrose's POV

"She volunteered for the Games to save her little sister," I explain, "My father was selected for the boy tribute-that's what they called the children that were forced to fight."

"But I thought they fought to the last person," Merlin responds, catching that I said the other on was my father.

"They did," I reply, "Through the various twist and turns my mom and dad got to the end with the belief that two could make it out if they were from the same district that year. But at the end-they took it away." I paused a minute, then say, "But like I've already told you, my mother knew about the wilderness. They had found these berries, Nightlock, will kill you within seconds, they threatened to eat them. The Capitol backed down, but the act was viewed as rebelling against them. Of course, that might also have been because almost instantly unrest started in the districts. She had become a symbol, a call to take action, and there was nothing to be done about it. Within a year they tried to kill her by sending her back into the games, but the rebellion had people on the inside who were able to get her out."

"And your father?" Merlin asks.

"He wasn't so lucky," I say, "He was captured, tortured, eventually they got him out but only after they realized their propaganda piece couldn't function while he was being hurt. "

It's all coming out now. Everything I've always wanted to say but never have.

"They didn't care about her," I say, starting to seethe, "They just used her, deceived her, and when they were done with her just threw her out. There's a lot of controversy over some things she did at the end, they thought she had gone crazy, and maybe she had, but they don't know what happened. I do."

Merlin just looks at me, and I can see what he's trying to work out : Weather to ask what the controversy was or not. For him, it must seem rather cut and dry, that people would see her as war hero. All he know is what I've told him.

I've come this far. I might as keep going. Let out a long slow breath then say, "In the very last battle of the war, there was an explosion, and when the medics went out to help-another one went off. My mother's sister was one of them. She died. You can imagine how my mother took that."

Merlin doesn't say anything, just nods with a grave look of understanding.

"Then she found out the explosions didn't come from the Capitol," I continue, "The rebellion dropped them. So when she was suppose to executing the former President of Penem, she took out the President of the rebellion instead. She was arrested and tried, the defense portrayed as a shell-shocked nutcase which at the point she kind of was, so she got off with therapy. But , after 22 years of living with the nightmares and the flashbacks and the way she looked at me when she would sometime say my name, I can tell you, it didn't do much good."

The night's quiet again for a moment, and then Merlin looks at me with two lakes he has for eyes, and for a second I think they're boring into my soul as he says, of all things, "You were named after her sister, weren't you?"

That takes me a bit by surprise. "Yes," I say.

"And that's you hate Mockingjays," He says, "Because of what it represents, and what that symbol did to your family. And that' s what you meant when you said people expecting you to be something you're not. Everyone probably expect you to be some great figure or something."

"Yeah," I replay, "Yeah that's why." There's no point in denying it. He's just summed up my life perfectly. "And yeah, they did."

Suddenly I feel exhausted. Like I've done something that's drained me of all my energy. For reasons I'm not really sure of myself I scoot closer to Merlin and lay my head on his shoulder. "Is this okay?" I whisper.

"Don't worry about it," Merlin says, smiling down at me.

I smile back and close my eyes. Within seconds I'm asleep, cradled in his arms.