Chapter 20 - I blame myself.

Almost 2 months later- Wrestlemania had come and gone Randy beat Ted and Cody in a triple threat match. Extreme Rules was also in the books Jack Swagger actually beat Randy in an extreme rules match. But Randy of course RKO'd Swagger after the match. Over the Limit as next and Randy would be facing Edge. Edge was drafted back to Raw during the draft and interfered during a number one contenders match costing Randy another WWE Championship shot. These two were in a story line together now. Randy had just appeared on the Cutting Edge where Edge explained his actions ... he even mentioned their time together in RatedRKO. But before Edge could spear Randy he RKO'd him.

That was work for Randy, but really his heat and his mind were always on Kate. She was different. They were both mourning the loss of their baby in different ways. Randy wanted to talk about... Kate didn't she refused. She acted like it never happened. She wasn't fully back to work yet she didn't want to face anyone really. She just wrote from home. She even did the live Facebook updated from home as well.

With Randy: He was on the road he hated leaving Kate but she insisted he go on the road. He was working out with John and Ted.

Ted: How's Kate? Any better?

Randy: I want to say yes... but she wont talk to me. She'll talk to me about the wedding and work. But she just walks away when I mention... the ...

John: It's alright man you don't have to say it. Is she coming back to work full-time soon?

Randy: I want her too but I just don't know. I just wish she wasn't pushing me away.

Ted: What makes you think she's pushing you away?

Randy: Ted she hasn't let me touch her since I brought her home from the hospital.

John: Dude she probably just needs time. Woman can't even think about sex... when ...

Randy: No I am talking about any physical contact ... I haven't hugged or kissed her.

Ted: What? Really?

Randy: yeah ... I've tried to just kiss her cheek and she pushes me away. I've never seen her like this. I just I am worried about her.

Ted: I guess just make her talk to you. I know that's easier said than done because we are talking about Kate.

Randy: Maybe Ted... but this... this is just different.

The next Afternoon:

Kate was at home she was sitting in their bedroom typing on her lab top. She was almost done with the article featuring Rey Mysterio vs CM Punk and their up coming match at Over the limit Straight Edge Society pledge vs. Hair match. Nina and Kelly came down to St. Louis over the past several weeks to spend time with Kate. Mostly because Randy didn't want her alone. But she finally convinced them both to go home. She just honestly just wanted to be left alone. After Kate e-mailed her article. She got out of bed and headed down the hall she opened the door to what would have been their nursery. Neither her or Randy had been in that room since the that day. Everything was right where they left it. The journal on the table and the 8 week sign Randy made on the wall with the picture. She turned on the radio hoping the music would make her feel better but Sarah McLachlan "In the arms of an angel" began to play- Kate could take it any more in that moment she was so full of anger and rage she ripped the pictures and the sign off the wall. She went and grabbed one of Randy's baseball bats and began to destroy the rocking chair Randy had gotten for the nursery. In a fit of wild emotion that she couldn't contain she kept hitting the chair as pieces began to fly to the sound of the music.

Randy came in from being gone a few days he called out to Kate a few times but no answer he walked up the stairs and her the loud screams and tears along with the banging and music. He rushed to the nursery and noticed Kate.

Randy: Kate! Kate Lynn Babe what are you doing?

Kate acted like she didn't hear him.

Randy: KATE LYNN! Stop Please ... Look at me.

Randy went up to her slowly so she wouldn't hit him with the bat. But when Kate looked over at Randy she dropped the bat and then fell to her knees and began to sob even hard if that were even possible.

Randy: Aww Kit Kat.

Randy sat with her and pulled her close it was like she was having a panic attack.

Randy: Kit Please look at me you need to breathe baby. It's alright I am here.

Kate didn't say anything she just berried her had into Randy's chest and shirt was wet with her tears with in seconds,

Randy: Kate please talk to me.

Kate: I'm sorry Randy! I'm sorry.

She kept saying those words through her tears.

Randy softly kiss her forehead.

Randy: Kate why are you sorry?

Kate: I ... I ... killed our baby. It's my fault. I am so sorry Randy.

Randy's heart broke in that moment. For the last few months the love of his life felt that burden on her own. He was mourning as well but she felt sadness and guilt.

Kate: I should have done things differently I should have known something was wrong. It's my fault this room will never be our baby's. ME RANDY ... I did it... I lost our baby. I blame myself. I love you ... and I just I don't know how you can still love me. This is my fault.

Randy: Kate Sweet heart you listen to me, I am not going to lie loosing our baby was a horrible thing and it broke my heart. But listen when I tell you that I never once blamed you. Ever.

Kate looked up at Randy: You didn't?

Randy: No.

Kate: Why? I've blamed myself everyday since.

Randy: You heard what the doctor said these things just happened. It could have been a number of things. Remember.

Kate: Like a chemical reaction to all the meds I was on after my accident.

Randy nodded.

Kate: Which was my fault. Don't you get that Randy. If I would have made better choices maybe our baby would still be here.

Randy: Kate we don't know that... the doctor said there was nothing you could have done. I don't blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself. I love you Kate Lynn.

Kate: You still love me?

Randy: Why wouldn't I? You are my life Kate. I want to marry you and I want us to fill this house with kids.

Kate: You still want to have a baby?

Randy: Yes.

Kate: Randy I don't know if I can go through this again... what if I can't get pregnant or if this happens again.

Randy: Kate sweetie we talked to the doctor. She said that we can try again. Nothing in life is a guarantee but they say trying is half the fun. We will have a baby some day Kate. I promise.

Kate: Randy I love you so much.

Randy: I love you too Kit Kat.

Kate wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her close... they both missed each others touch. They looked into each other eyes as Randy slowly moved into kiss Kate. For the first time in weeks she didn't pull away she welcomed his kiss. They slowly began to make out as Randy and Kate stood up from the floor - they began to kiss again. Kate pulled away and looked into his eyes. She softly grabbed his hand and led him to their bed room and she slowly removed Randy's shirt.

Randy smiled: Really?

Kate nodded: Just take it slow please?

Randy smiled as he slowly laid her on the bed and crawled on top of her.

That evening they felt more connected than they ever had. They were both healing from their lose. It was time to move on and look forward to their wedding and maybe someday they would be blessed with a child.

Thanks for your comments and reviews!

Little Mistake in the last chapter Randy has blue eyes not hazel... I know that lol... oops!

Next Chapter - Kate goes back to work at Over the limit.

What do you think will happen next? Let me know what you think!