Chapter 3

A/N: I know, I know, it's been two weeks I've just been busy with school work and stuff. All of the teachers are realizing that there's only a month left of school so they're piling on the homework.So I've gotten a couple of reviews with people saying they think Castle is the father and I can tell you right now that he definitely isn't. I don't know whether I'll ever actually name the father. I just meant him to be some guy that she barely knew and shouldn't have slept with. We will however meet Castle eventually because he's very important in her life. I just wanted to clarify that he isn't the father. I also want to say that some of you probably noticed that I changed how far along she is, in the first chapter I said something about 2 weeks and this chapter I said 4 weeks. This is because I did some research (because I want it to sound authentic) and had to change it to 4 weeks. Sorry for the long author's note. This chapter will deal with the first ultrasound and more symptoms of pregnancy. Enjoy!

Fridays were horrible for Kate, as far as classes went. She had 5 classes she had to attend, which was different from her usual 2-3 on every other day. Because she had changed her major she had to take extra courses so that she would be able to graduate at the same time as every other student. Normally this wasn't so bad but in the last week or so she was feeling extremely tired and wasn't able to do much without wanting to take a nap. She guessed she could blame it on the pregnancy.

When she got back to her dorm room, all she wanted to do was collapse on her bed and do nothing. Unfortunately this wasn't possible; she had several tasks that she had to complete. One of which was to set up her next gynecologist appointment. She was excited to see how her child was doing and she really wanted to set up the appointment so that she had something to look forward to. There was just one problem, Anna was in the dorm. She didn't want Anna to overhear anything related to pregnancy; she still hadn't told her and wasn't planning on it until she had to because it was impossible to keep from her. So in order to be able to make the call about her gynecologist appointment she had to get Anna out of the dorm.

She tried getting her to go out for dinner or a celebratory outing for ice cream because it was the end of the week or something so that she would leave and Kate could make the call. No such luck, Anna was intent on staying in for the night.

Kate gave up for the time being and went to take a shower, because she wasn't going out much at nights anymore and was ready to retire for the night at 7 o clock. She stayed in the shower and racked her brain for ways to get Anna out of the dorm. When she got out she noticed that there was no more toilet paper. She quickly checked the cabinet under the sink, which was empty too. She smiled and sighed with relief. Now she had a way to get Anna out of the house, a trip to the grocery store. It would only keep Anna out for a grand total of about 20 minutes but it was plenty of time to make a call about an appointment.

She finished drying and got into her oversized t-shirt that she slept in. When she walked out of the bathroom Anna was sitting on her bed reading some Nicholas Sparks book. If Kate had to guess, she would say that Anna had just broken up with some long-time boyfriend of hers (long-time being a month) and was drowning her sorrows by reading Nicholas Sparks and drinking an unhealthy amount of soda.

"Hey Anna, we're out of toilet paper. Could you get some?" Kate asked going to her nightstand and grabbing Flowers for your Grave, the Richard Castle book she was reading.

"Isn't it your turn?" Anna asked not looking up from her book.

"No, I got some last time, it's your turn," Kate lied. Yes it was her turn but she hoped Anna would buy it and leave.

"Okay, I'll be back in 20," Anna sighed putting her book down and getting up from her bed. She went to her closet and grabbed a pair of boots and a heavy coat, March could be really windy and still a bit brisk in New York. She fastened her unruly bunch of blonde curls in a quick ponytail and left, grabbing her wallet on the way.

Kate sighed in relief and quickly went to the phone. She flipped to the page of the phone book that she had doggy-eared, the one with the number for the gynecologist. She had felt that it was safe to do this because Anna barely used the phone; if she did she usually knew the numbers by heart.

Kate dialed the number quickly, even though she had 20 minutes she wanted to do this quickly and make sure Anna wouldn't catch her. The phone rang twice before the cheery voice of the nurse from gynecology came through.

"Gynecology, how may I help you?" the nurse asked brightly.

"This is Katherine Beckett, I'm calling to set up an appointment for an ultrasound," she said probably sounding more confident than she did the first time she called for an appointment.

"Oh yes we have you here Katherine, will Monday at 9:30 work?" the nurse asked, Kate could hear keys being tapped furiously as the nurse looked through the calendar on her computer.

"Yes, that would be perfect," Kate said.

"Alright see you then!" the nurse responded cheerily and hung up. Kate hung up quickly and went back to her bed to read.

So on Monday she would get to see her child and hear its heartbeat. This made her so happy, she was getting used to the fact that she would be a mother soon. It still scared the hell out of her but none the less she was excited. If she had learned anything by reading all of the pregnancy and childcare books that she had in the past 7 weeks, it was that you could never be ready for pregnancy or childcare. No matter how much research and preparation you did things were going to happen that surprised you.

Just as she had thought Anna returned 20 minutes later with toilet paper, she threw it carelessly into the bathroom and sat down on her bed. Within 5 minutes she was fully engrossed in Nicholas Sparks and sniffling again. Kate didn't try and disturb her again. She was afraid that if she asked her if she was okay that Anna would really start sobbing, and Kate didn't want the waterworks. So she left Anna alone.

Kate read some of her textbooks for a few hours before she was too tired and her eyelids refused to stay open. Anna had since finished her Nicholas Sparks book and continued to cry, probably on what Kate liked to call a 'book hangover.' She cried herself to sleep, which was pretty sad but Kate wasn't sure she would be able to do much to comfort the poor girl. Sure she had comforted several of her girlfriends back in the day and had become adept at understanding cry talk but she didn't know enough about Anna to really be of much help. She didn't know how hard she really took breakups, for all she knew Anna could go out tomorrow morning and come back tomorrow night with a new guy.

Kate turned out the lamp on her bedside table and rolled over to go to sleep. She had decided to let Anna deal with this on her own; she had other friends that could help her tomorrow. She wouldn't be sad forever.

She spent the rest of the weekend getting her work done, not even pausing for a coffee break with Lanie. Because of morning sickness, she had missed several days of class in the last few weeks and was getting terribly behind. She spent almost every spare moment getting caught up. Of course, she would take breaks to indulge in some reading. She was beginning to love Richard Castle as an author; his books gave her a sense of justice when she was still drowning in the injustice of her mother's murder a little. She was getting better and had tried to let go a little, especially with the little person inside of her as incentive. She didn't want to go into a freefall and start neglecting to eat and drink and get enough sleep, that could harm the baby and harming the baby was the last thing she wanted to do. As much of a mistake as that night had been she didn't once hate the baby for it, how could she? The baby hadn't ever done anything wrong, hell it wasn't even out of her yet it couldn't possibly have done anything.

She was looking forward to seeing the baby; it would bring a sense of innocence and purpose to her life, something to live for and care for. This ultrasound would probably be the most amazing and the scariest thing she had ever experienced. Sure she was looking forward to it but it also meant that it was real, that it was really happening. She was able to put a little bit of distance between herself and the fact that she was going to be responsible for a human being because she didn't really have proof that the baby existed. But now she was going to see it on screen and hear its heartbeat, it would become more alive and she would have to face the fact that she would be a mother all over again. Just like when she had first gone to the doctor. That was pretty scary, she was pretty certain she would need to talk to Lanie again to get her head on straight and get everything together.

Fear aside though, this was definitely something she was looking forward to. She even set an alarm on Sunday night to make sure she wouldn't be in danger of being late. She tried to roll over and go to sleep but she was just so excited. She grabbed her book and read for at least an hour, finishing the story. After that she could finally go to sleep, because now she was on a book hangover.

On Monday morning at 8 AM Kate's alarm clock started beeping, loudly. She groaned and rolled over, turning it off. In her half sleeping state she forgot why she had set the alarm and thought it was a mistake. Her class wasn't until 11 AM; she probably wouldn't get up until 10:30. She tried to go back to sleep but found that she couldn't. She sighed and sat up, looking around the room and stretching. She felt a wave of hunger, which had come about in the last week, and smiled, suddenly remembering why she had set the alarm. She got up and went into the bathroom. She had plenty of time before she had to leave for the hospital, she could actually get ready this time.

Kate repeatedly ran a brush through her hair and finally gave up, going for the straightener. When she had straightened her hair to her satisfaction she grabbed her makeup bag. She brushed on light makeup and went to brush her teeth. She prepared the brush and started brushing, walking around her dorm and gathering an outfit and putting her stuff into her favorite canvas shoulder bag.

She finished getting ready and left early, deciding to go out for a quick breakfast. She walked around the corner to her favorite bagel place: Greenfields. She paid for it and sat down to eat, enjoying the few moments of peace and quiet she was getting. It wasn't often that she sat down to eat and wasn't doing anything but eating. Often she had her nose in a textbook or a book of some sort, always studying and reading. She had become quite the bookworm after her wild phase after her mom's murder. It wasn't that she was really hiding; it was just that reading provided stability. If she was reading a textbook she would get a good grade in her classes thus insuring a good future, if she was reading a book she could get lost in the story and forget about everything for a while. Either way she had stability.

Kate ate and checked her watch: 8:45. She got up and prepared to leave, giving a sigh. Peace and quiet was done; now time to face life again. She hailed a taxi and rode to the hospital lost in thought, she thought about names. She couldn't help it, it excited her. She wondered what she would name her kid, she wanted it to mean something, but she also wanted it to be a good name. She wouldn't name her daughter Houghton just because she was naming her after herself. She wondered what she would name it if she had a son. She didn't really have any influential men in her life; no way was she naming the kid after his dad. She could name him after her dad, she just didn't know if he deserved it. She didn't blame him for feeling sad, she knew he lost a lot, but at the same time she wished he saw what he was doing to people, not just her, that loved him. He was probably disappointing a lot more people than just her. She just didn't know what else she could name him if it was a boy. She was broken from her thoughts by the cabbie telling her that they were at the hospital. She paid and got out.

She walked into the hospital, not bothering to ask for directions this time; she knew how to get to the Gynecology department. She waved a polite hello to the cheery nurse that always answered her calls to the hospital and walked past her to the elevators. The waiting room was mostly empty, which made Kate happy, she didn't like having other people there. It just seemed awkward. Nurse Chloe checked her in and gave her more paperwork that she had to fill out. She thought the pages upon pages that she had filled out last time would be enough but apparently not. She sat down to complete the paper work, taking her time so she would have less time to think before the appointment. It seemed that every time she started thinking about the baby that annoying fear turned up, and she hated fear.

The paper work didn't take long and soon she was sitting down again in the extremely uncomfortable chairs, she didn't remember them being this uncomfortable. Kate hated waiting; she'd rather be right on time than have time to wait. She often wished that the world would move at her speed. She thought about her book and dug in her bag, unfortunately she had forgotten to pack it. Now she had time to wait, and think.

With each passing minute she became increasingly nervous. She had seen Marley and Me; she knew bad things could happen. She really didn't want that to happen, she was already getting excited about having a baby, even if it did scare her. She needed everything to be okay.

It came as a huge relief when Lanie opened the door that led to the private rooms and called "Kate." She got up and followed her back to a room.

"Hey Lanie," she said with a sigh of relief. If she needed anything right now it was a friend to go through this ultrasound with.

"Hey, how's life been? I haven't seen you in a week or so," Lanie said as they got to the room and Kate hopped up on the bed.

"Busy, I've been trying to catch up on work I've missed. Did you know I've missed 3 days of class in the last 2 weeks?" Kate said incredulously.

"Wow, that sucks, are you feeling any better since we last spoke?" Lanie asked.

"Yeah somewhat, now I'm not sick I'm just tired and hungry, like really tired and hungry. I see you're still in gynecology for your residency," Kate said taking the focus off of her as Lanie did the routine tests, blood pressure and such.

"Yeah, I only have a few more months of residency and then the school year will be out," Lanie said excitedly. She was looking forward to being a medical examiner more than doing her residency in gynecology.

"Will you be able to become a medical examiner after this?" Kate asked, happy to continue the conversation about Lanie.

"No, I still have one more year of medical school. But after that I'll be free to start cutting open dead people," Lanie gave a little laugh at this and Kate laughed along with her. "Alright now please lay back so we can start the ultrasound." Kate complied and lifted up her shirt, giving Lanie access to her lower abdomen. "This will be a little cool," Lanie said robotically, God knows how many times a day she did this. She squirted some of the gel onto Kate's lower abdomen and got the probe that was used to rub along the patient's stomach and get the picture. "Are you ready?" Lanie asked standing with the probe over Kate's stomach ready to begin. Kate nodded and gave her a smile. Lanie rubbed the probe along her stomach and adjusted dials on the machine so that Kate could hear the heartbeat. Soon there was an image on the screen and Kate gasped at what she saw.

"Please tell me that's not real," Kate said astonished.

"Nope, it's for real," Lanie said with a huge smile.

"Two? I was just wrapping my head around the fact that I was going to have one!" Kate exclaimed.

"Kate, you're having twins," Lanie said still smiling.

"Lanie, I don't know that I can handle twins all by myself."

"Sure you can, besides you're not alone. You have me, I'm not going anywhere," Lanie said moving the probe and doing the things the doctor required.

Kate was astonished but still managed to smile when she heard the babies' heartbeats and saw them moving. When she saw them moving she relaxed, she began thinking that no matter what she would be able to handle it. She would handle it so her babies would grow up well. She was having twins. She would have two little miracles, two little bundles of innocence. And just like the fact that she was having a baby at all, it scared her and excited her. She wanted to be a mother. She couldn't wait to be a mother.

She tried to calm herself; she was still freaking out a little. Even if she was happy to be becoming a mother and to be having twins it still freaked her out a bit. Kate was ever the control freak, always wanting control over what happened and babies were the kings (and queens) of the unexpected and unpredictable. Kate hated unpredictable. Lanie kept telling her that everything would be alright. Everything will turn out alright.

The doctor, Dr. Collins, came in and checked the ultrasound for herself. She handed Kate a towel and smiled "Congratulations," she said. Kate took the towel and rubbed her stomach clean of any gel. She gave a small smile, all she could muster. Her head was spinning at the thought of having twins.

"Now Kate, I know it must seem crazy to have twins. And I know you must be driving yourself mad worrying about being able to handle it but trust me, every parent of twins felt the same way and they always turned out fine. Life never gives you anything you can't handle," Dr. Collins said reassuringly.

Kate looked up stunned at the use of one of her mom's favorite sayings. She knew it was probably a common saying but it still stunned her. She let Dr. Collins' words soak in before voicing her one worry "Were any of those parents going to raise the twins on their own?"

"Yes, me," Dr. Collins said and waited for Kate to look up before continuing "I had twin boys when I was a freshman in college and I raised them on my own. That's what inspired me to become a gynecologist. I wanted to help other women give birth."

"How, how did you do it?" Kate asked.

"It took a lot of hard work and faith. Faith in myself; you never know what you're capable of until you are tested to the limits, and believe me I was," Dr. Collins said.

"Thank you Dr. Collins. Is there anything I'll have to do differently now that I know I'm having twins?" Kate asked.

"Nope, just keep doing what you've been doing, they look great. Do you want a picture?" Dr. Collins asked returning her attention to the machine.

"Sure, when do I have to come back in?" Kate asked standing up off of the bed.

"When you're about 4 and a half months, or 18 weeks," Dr. Collins said taking the small image off of the printer and handing it to Kate.

"Thank you," Kate said taking it and looking down at it with a smile. Lanie touched her lightly on the arm. Kate looked up and smiled, taking her shoulder bag which Lanie had picked up for her.

Dr. Collins left the room and went to some other appointment, leaving Kate and Lanie alone. "Look I've got to work the rest of the day but I'll call you later so we can talk if you need to."

"Okay, thank you Lanie," Kate said shouldering her bag and going to leave the room.

"No problem," Lanie said gathering her materials and following Kate out.

Kate went to the front desk and paid for the visit. She signed all of the necessary forms and was on her way. She left the hospital and went back to her dorm to prepare for her class. When she arrived she went to her nightstand and picked up the book that she had forgotten this morning. She flipped to the page she was on and undid the doggy-ear, putting the ultrasound photo in to hold her place. She figured that way there was less of a chance for Anna to find it and she would know where it was. She put the book into her bag and went for her textbooks.

She left for class and tried to concentrate on what they had been learning about, but that was proving to be quite difficult. She was just too excited about having twins. She felt like a teenager, getting so excited over the thought of a baby, or in this case babies, but she couldn't help it. As scared as the thought of having twins made her she was excited, she couldn't wait.

A/N: So first off Greenfields is a bagel place where I live and I love it so I thought I'd put it in there. Also the 'book hangover' actually came from a friend of mine. It's basically what probably happened to people after reading The Fault in Our Stars or Allegiant or other books. I figured Nicholas Sparks was appropriate after a breakup. Also for those of you who are nitpicky about timelines I am aware that Marley and Me, the book even, didn't come out until 2005 and this is 1999 but I needed something in there about miscarriage and that's the first thing that came to mind. I had originally planned to put both ultrasounds in this chapter but it kind of got away from me. I hope you like it. I'm not sure I'm entirely happy with it.