Hey everyone! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, don't kill me. Everything with university has been getting stressful and I haven't found time to write something that I deem good enough for the fic. But today, I decided that I would just write something, because you guys deserve an update after all the time you've had to wait. So here it is! I hope you like it!

Haymitch

I woke up in the usual drunken stupour, only to find Katniss in my house. She offers me a mug, and I take it without protest. It's probably her mother's broth, which was as delicious a meal as I was going to get right now. She left the room, making clattering noises in the kitchen. Peeta came in, like my house was an open house for anyone to walk into whenever they wanted.

"There, it's done." Peeta says, putting something on the table. I tried to focus on what was in front of me, but my vision was just too hazy.

"What's done?" Katniss asks, as I shake my head to try and make the blurriness clear.

"I've poured all the liquor down the drain," Peeta says, and suddenly all I see is red. I jolt up, finding the box in front of me, raking through the empty bottles in despair. "You what?"

"I tossed the lot." Peeta says, looking smug.

"He'll just buy more," Katniss says, and that puts the thought in my head.

"No he won't. I tracked down Ripper this morning and told her I'd turn her in the second she sold to either of you. I paid her off too, just for good measure, but I don't think she's eager to be back in the Peacekeepers' custody." He shrugs.

I'm so livid by this point that I grab my knife and swing for him. However, my senses aren't so great right now, and Peeta manages to deflect my onslaught. I sit down in reluctance as Peeta and Katniss argue. She wants to get me more liquor, but Peeta wants us both to go cold turkey and train for the Games. He insists that one of us will be the victor and we need to act like Careers to make that happen. So self-righteous.

Katniss and I agree in the end, and we start training. I make them watch tapes of the other victors, including Finnick, the other Careers, Annie, even Talia.

Physical training doesn't go well for me, however. My body is so out of shape from the drinking that I can barely run, and the withdrawal symptoms are taking over my reflexes. I can barely hit anything with my knife. The kids, however, are improving day by day, which is encouraging. If Peeta wants to go in to protect Katniss, he needs to get stronger and more able. Katniss can't go saving him again, like last year.

I watch the kids get better, and am filled with pride, but also sadness. They don't deserve this. They've already had enough suffering in their young lives, and now they have to go back in the arena. One of them will die in there, maybe both of them.

It just wasn't fair.

Effie was on my mind during all of this. I needed her again, I realised. If I was going to die, I wanted Effie to know how much I loved her, how much I needed her in my life again. I was a fool to let her go, a stupid drunken fool. She was the best thing about me, it seemed. And when she wasn't there, I was at my worst. I needed her, and I was determined to let her know that.

Effie

On the day of the reaping, I stand on the podium in front of the members of District 12, but this time, instead of looking out into the crowd and wondering which child I will choose, I only have to look in front of me to see them.

The pens in which Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch stand are roped off from the rest of the crowd. All three of them look so strong, determined, but I can see the inevitability of death in Katniss' eyes. I draw her, after a while of clawing around the ball to find her name. Then, I pluck a name from the boys' ball.

If I choose Haymitch, then Peeta will inevitably volunteer for him. If I choose Peeta, Haymitch will volunteer for him, as a sort of protection thing. It was noble, but everything inside me was screaming that Haymitch had to stay out of the arena. I needed him safe, for my own sanity as well as his own.

I open the paper, and read out, "Haymitch Abernathy." The relief is evident in my voice, and as expected, Peeta surges forward to volunteer. I pretend to look shocked, but then pull it together as I announce the tributes' names.

Head Peacekeeper Thread pulls Katniss and Peeta into a car as soon as we step into the Justice Building. It's a new procedure, no goodbyes are allowed for the two tributes.

Haymitch and I are escorted to our own car by Peacekeepers. We sit in the car silently, until Haymitch puts his hand on mine.

"It'll be okay, Eff." He whispers, soothingly.

It wasn't until that moment that I realised that hot tears were dribbling down my cheeks. Partially in relief that Haymitch wasn't going, and partially that Katniss and Peeta had to go. They were such good children, and it would be horrible to lose them.

I turned my hand upwards and clasped his hand, squeezing it for reassurance. I looked him in the eyes for the first time in a year, and saw those beautiful grey eyes that I had grown to adore. He gave me a soft smile, and then pulled his hand away suddenly.

I realised that we were at the station. There couldn't be any love between us, not where everyone else could see.

We get on the train, and District 12 slips from view as we power away from it. I can see the pain on the faces of Katniss and Peeta, who both desperately wanted to say goodbye to their families. It was heartbreaking to watch as Katniss stared longingly out of the window, even after District 12 was lost from view.

Dinner was quiet, with only few attempts at conversation. When I notice that Haymitch isn't drinking, and that he's having a miserable time of it, I ask the Avoxes to take my wine away and replace it with orange juice. But that doesn't seem to make him feel any better. Peeta compliments my hair, and I tell them my idea about getting Peeta a gold ankle band and Haymitch a gold bracelet to match my hair and Katniss' pin. That way we could be a team. Trinket, Everdeen, Abernathy, Mellark. Team 12. Haymitch doesn't seem enthusiastic, but Peeta agrees, probably just to please me. I pretend to look pleased.

Then, we watch the reaping recap. I recognise all of these tributes, and my heart sinks at watching them step up to die. When Mags, an old woman from District 4, steps up to take the place of Annie Cresta, the hysterical young woman, tears threaten to slip from my eyes. But I hold it together.

When District 8's female tribute is called, I whisper "Oh, not Cecelia." Cecelia was a lovely woman, with children too. I couldn't help but feel sorry for those children, who may be without a mother soon. I notice that Talia doesn't step up and volunteer, although she looks like she might want to. Chaff gets chosen, and I see Haymitch stiffen at the thought of his best friend going back in there. I want to lay my hand over his like he did earlier, but I can't.

When the reaping recap is over, Haymitch exits the room silently. I stay for a minute, chatting to the children, and then wish them goodnight and follow after Haymitch.

I find him in his room, smashing things in rage.

"Haymitch!" I call, trying to make him stop. I edge into the room, dodging flying debris. "Haymitch, stop!"

I place my hand on his arm, and he jolts, as if only just registering that I'm there. He stops, and grabs my arm. "You're hurt."

I look at my arm, and find blood spreading across a rip in my clothing. The pain hits me then; I was so focussed on soothing Haymitch that I didn't notice that I was hit.

"It's nothing, really." I say, but he's sitting me on the bed and rushing to get tweezers. "Haymitch, no, it's fine!" I call, but he doesn't listen.

"I need to get it out, Eff, just hold still." I do so, as he pours rubbing alcohol, probably saved for a bedtime snack, over the wound. I cry out in pain, only for the cry to be stifled by a small kiss from Haymitch. I desperately want more of that kiss, but he pulls away and sorts out my arm first. Luckily, the shard of glass didn't embed itself too deep, and so Haymitch was able to extract it quickly. I notice that his hands are a lot steadier now, maybe because of the urgency.

He bandages my arm, and then gives it a small kiss, as if that would make it better.

"Thank you." I say, looking him in the eyes. "Why are you being so nice to me again?" I ask, the question burning in my brain.

He lowers his voice, and whispers in my ear. "Because I need you, Eff. Being so close to the arena again has made me realise that. I love you, and I never want to let you go again."

With that, he kisses me, softly at first, but then it becomes insistent. I kiss him back, pulling him onto the bed with me. We lie together, just kissing, for a long time. I had forgotten how lovely it was to kiss him; and now that he wasn't drinking, his breath wasn't rancid like it was before.

Neither of us made a move to go further, we were just content with kissing and holding each other. Our mutual despair for the lives of our friends and those children made us need to hold one another, to try and take the pain away.

When we both decided that it was time to go to bed, we stripped each other's clothes away, and I took off my makeup.

Haymitch looked at my bare face and kissed both of my cheeks. "You're beautiful." He whispered, before pulling me into bed. And so we slept like that, naked, curled up against each other, using one another to drive away the bad memories and bad thoughts, perfectly content to lie in our own little world. I hoped that the children were finding the same solace within each other.

Before I drifted off, I whispered in Haymitch's ear.

"I love you too, Haymitch."

If you enjoyed, please leave a review or whatever! I promise I will update more frequently, thats my New Year's Resolution, and I plan to keep it! Thanks for reading 3