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Fullmetal Alchemist: Conspiracy

Fullmetal Alchemist quote:

"Alchemists be thou for the people."- Edward Elric

"Talking"

Thoughts

Chapter 14: The Merciful Knight Alchemist

"Elric? Shorty? Bean? Edo? Miniscule? Fullmetal Pipsqueak?"

"Havoc, tell me, do you hope to get married and have a family someday?" Edward asked through clenched teeth.

"Yes, as soon as I find the perfect woman, Edo." Havoc replied.

Edward grinded his teeth together and pulled his hair in frustration. "Then I'm warning you to cut it out with the names. I don't like being called s-…..that 's' word."

Havoc thought back to everything he said in the last few minutes. "What? Small or short?" He asked confused.

Edward slammed his automail fist into Havoc's stomach. "Don't say either of those words."

Havoc doubled over, clutching his stomach, and dry heaving at his desk in the office. "Got it." He said painfully. "Do not use the 's' word."

Breda, who was watching the two in amusement, raised a brow. "What is wrong with the word small?"

"Can we say tiny or bean?" Fuery asked.

"Or miniscule?" Falman asked.

Clap!

When Hawkeye returned to the office, papers were lying all over the place, chairs were knocked over, and Havoc and Breda were hanging in the air by their ankles from hands sprouting from the ground. Fuery was tied to his chair with tape over his mouth and Falman had his arms locked to the table. Each of them had drawings on their face from a black market. And in big black letters on the wall, it said, "I'M NOT SMALL, YOU BASTARDS!" Mustang was standing in his office doorway looking shocked.

"What happened?" Hawkeye asked.

Havoc and the guys shared a look. "Edo got mad."

Hawkeye sighed. "You can't call a superior that."

"It's probably why he got so mad that he would do this." Mustang said, motioning to the office. His eye was twitching in irritation at his ruined office, but there was also some amusement in his eyes. Some, not a lot. It was mostly anger in his eyes.

"No, he got mad because we said….." Falman trailed off and looked nervously at Havoc. Mustang may be their commanding officer, but Havoc was the head of Mustang's unit, even if the unit didn't listen to him much because he was so laid back. [1]

Havoc crossed his arms and shook his head at Falman. Afraid of a little kid, so sad. "Small. He really hates the word small." Havoc explained. He gulped. "Can you get us down? All my blood is rushing to my head and I don't like it."

"Where is Fullmetal?" Mustang asked through gritted teeth. Really, all this because of the word small?

"Left after he did this." Breda replied.

"Hawkeye, find him while I free them." Mustang said.

Hawkeye entered the mess hall to find a big group of officers surrounding a table. Curious, she pushed through the crowd to find Edward and a Captain engaged in an arm wrestling contest. And of course, she noted, Edward was using his automail arm. No one but the Fuhrer, Doctor Young (the military doctor), Mustang and her knew the young alchemist had automail. She was also sure that he wanted to keep it that way and found a way to conceal the feeling of metal under his glove so the Captain wouldn't realize he was holding an automail hand. He could do that easily with how smart he is.

"Major Elric." Hawkeye said.

Edward grunted so she would know he was listening while he kept his eyes trained on the Captain.

"Colonel Mustang wants you back in the office now." Hawkeye said.

"Is that so? Why? I was just sitting there, doing nothing before." Edward replied.

Hawkeye sighed, while the other officers frowned. They weren't supposed to question the orders of their superiors, but Ed always did. It was probably because he was a teenager and teenagers hate being ordered around.

"I think he wants you to fix his office." Hawkeye explained.

"I haven't been in his office today. He shouldn't blame me for everything." Edward retorted.

"The outer office."

"Oh." Edward frowned and slammed the captain's hand on the table. "They had it coming."

"He beat me!" The Captain said shocked. "You cheated!"

"No, I didn't." Edward snarled.

"You can't go around beating up everyone that annoys you." Hawkeye said with forced patience. It was a teenage thing she kept telling herself. "Especially people from the same team as you."

Edward smirked as he stood up and walked out of the mess hall with Hawkeye. "I didn't beat them up. I only hit Havoc once. The rest of it was alchemy and I was going to release them soon. They just needed to be taught a lesson."

"This isn't how you punish people." Hawkeye replied with a strain in her voice.

Edward shrugged. "It's one of the ways my Master punished me."

"One of the…..forget it. I don't want to know what your training was like." Hawkeye said.

Edward laughed. "I wouldn't either. It was the worst six months of my life. Al and I almost died quite a few times in the first month."

"I thought this was your alchemy training." Hawkeye said confused.

"It was, but Master didn't focus just on Alchemy and besides the first month of training was just a trial to see if she would train us." Edward replied with a shrug.

Hawkeye raised a brow. "What was the trial?"

Edward visibly shuddered. "Survival Training. One month on an island with no alchemy. We only had a knife and had to survive with that. We also had to figure out what 'One is All, All is One' means. She left her employee on the island with us to make sure we didn't die, but he would attack us every day so we could learn how to fight. He, along with the fact that we've never done survival training before, almost killed us."

"How old were you?" Hawkeye asked.

"Seven."

Hawkeye stared at Edward. "Your teacher must have gone easy on you after you got passed the trial because you were so young."

"Easy?" Edward almost shouted, eyes wide. "Are you kidding? Worst six months ever!"

Hawkeye laughed. "How bad could it have been?"

"She didn't just teach us alchemy, which is what we begged her to teach us when we met her. But she has said 'to train the mind, we must first train the body' so she taught us martial arts and how to use weapons, along with much more like math, learning how to write properly with grammar and all, manners, life lessons, how to cook so we can take care of ourselves, etc." Edward grumbled, subconsciously rubbing his head where he had hit the ground so much from that training. "I hope to never have to go back to that training. She explained alchemy to us while she beat us up, saying that beating the shit out of us would help us learn to defend ourselves and toughen us up."

"And people complain about the training at the Military Academy." Hughes laughed as he clapped Ed on the shoulder.

Edward looked at Hughes with a blank look. "I would much prefer the Military Academy training then having to go back to Master and training under her again. If I went back for more training now, it would most likely be ten times worse than the first time." He looked down the hallway then back at Hughes. "And where did you come from?"

Hughes grinned at him, but didn't reply.

Hawkeye cleared her throat. "The Colonel is waiting."

Edward sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "Can you two do me a favor and not tell anyone about what I just said about my training and all? I really don't want people knowing about it. It's not exactly a time I want to remember."

"No problem, Edo." Hughes said.

Edward twitched. "Don't call me that."

"But why? I heard Havoc call you it earlier, why can't I?" Hughes whined like a child.

"In case you didn't realize, Havoc was soon suspended in the air by his ankles after he said it." Edward replied. He narrowed his eyes after a moment of thinking. "And how did you hear that name? Were you spying on us? Don't you have anything to do, like work? I don't like being spied on, Hughes."

Hughes smiled nervously. "Well, look at the time. I have to return to work." He said quickly. Before he could go anywhere, Ed grabbed the sleeve of his jacket.

"You haven't been in the military that long and you are already scaring your seniors." Hawkeye said without turning around to look at the scene that just happened.

Edward shrugged. "It's not like I meant to. You all just know how to get on my nerves." He looked back at Hughes with an evil glint. "Now what should I do to you for your spying?"

Hughes grinned nervously. "I have an idea. What if I give you something so you won't kill me?"

The young Major raised a brow. "And what could you have that I would want?"

Hughes glanced at Hawkeye then bowed a little to whisper in Ed's ear. "I took pictures of the mess you caused in Mustang's office and everything you did to the team. I can give you copies if you want."

An evil grin spread across Ed's lips. "You got yourself a deal. You're free to go." He released Hughes's sleeve and the man immediately left.

Sighing, Hawkeye pushed the office door opened and stepped aside to let Edward enter and see the mess he made. The officers were free from their prisons by now and were working on picking on the chairs and papers. Falman was scrubbing at the walls with a sponge and a bucket of soap and water at his feet. The hands that Edward created were still in the way, just a little destroyed from the Colonel releasing Havoc and Breda.

"Fullmetal, fix the floor." Mustang ordered immediately when he saw Edward and Hawkeye.

Shrugging, Edward clapped his hands and fixed the floor. "Can I leave now?"

The officers glared at Edward. He was the one who made the big mess that THEY WERE CLEANING UP!

"How about you help us clean up the mess you made, you little demon?" Havoc asked.

Ed's eye twitched. "Little?" He snarled. "No, you four will clean it up yourselves."

Breda smacked Havoc. "Nice going."

"So he hates all synonyms that refer to small." Havoc mumbled more to himself then to anyone else.

Mustang looked at the file he picked up off Hawkeye's desk. "Before you go, Fullmetal." Ed froze with his hand on the doorknob, mentally cursing himself for not being faster. "I got your next mission for you. You're heading east to a city called Akran. Your brother can go with you on this one."

Sighing, Edward turned around and caught the folder Mustang just threw at him. "Remember our deal?"

"Remember you have to finish the mission before you can start the search." Mustang replied.

Everyone in the office looked confused, except Ed, who started skimming through the mission file as he walked away.

"What was the boss talking about with…damn, what do I call him?" Havoc grumbled.

"We don't know what they were talking about." Hawkeye said.

"Who cares about that right now? What do I call him?" Havoc mumbled, pulling at his hair in frustration.

Breda snorted. "Is that all you care about?"

"As of right now, yes." Havoc replied.

"How about a game of chess?" Breda offered.

Havoc shrugged while Breda set the game up. Hawkeye narrowed her eyes at the two and looked around at the still messy office. But she only turned to Mustang. "What mission did you give him?"

"I don't know. I just chose a mission file and gave it to him to get him out of here for a while. I don't want him causing another mess around here." Mustang said irritably.

"At least you weren't part of the mess." Havoc grumbled as he rubbed at his ankles.

Al stared at the mission file his brother just shoved in his face when they sat down on the train. He blinked, looked at his brother, and blinked again. "We're going to some place called Akran to…." He looked at the file. "to meet a group of mechanics and military officers because they want the help of an alchemist to escort them the rest of the way to East City, because East City is a dangerous place right now."

Edward nodded his head.

Al scrunched his brows in thought. "Wouldn't it make more sense to send an alchemist better known? The military might not trust two little kids wandering up to them and claiming to be the help that was sent."

"Unknown alchemist would be great if the word state didn't have to be added." Edward said, before sighing. "It would make more sense or we should have given them a heads up, but it's Mustang."

"Maybe if you wore the military uniform." Al suggested.

Ed wrinkled his nose in disgust. He hated those uniforms.

"Why don't you wear it?" Al asked curiously, ignoring his brother's faces with ease.

*Flashback*

Edward crossed his arms and glared at the wall in Mustang's office. It was only his third day here and he hated it already. His commanding officer was sitting at his desk, flipping through papers.

"Well, Fullmetal,"

The young alchemist cringed at the name, but hid it well. He didn't hate the name, but he didn't like it that much. It was just another reminder of his mistake. Another reminder that he would have to get used to. That was the only option he had.

"There are only a few problems with your profile." Mustang continued, missing his subordinate's flinch at the name as he was still looking at his papers.

"Like what?" Ed demanded, placing a hand on his hip and glaring at his commander with narrowed eyes.

"Your medical history has a bunch of gaps in it. The most I got is everything from when you were born to five year olds, then it is empty until you are eleven and got your automail." Mustang explained as he flipped through the medical history. "Other than that, Doctor Young said your physical was good, she gave you the shots you needed, and you are in great condition. You are mentally stable as well. But I need to know about your medical history from five to ten and what your mother died of."

"Why do you need to know what she died of?" Edward demanded.

Mustang sighed, put the folder down, and looked up at Edward. "So we can check to see if you inherited the disease and if it is just lying dormant."

Sighing in frustration, Edward started explaining his medical history and the disease that his mother had for years before it killed her.

When Edward finished, Mustang nodded his head and finished writing it down. "There is also a problem about the automail."

"What about it?" Edward snapped defensively.

"It was put in your medical report that you got it a year ago. I know, for a fact, that automail rehabilitation takes three years." Mustang answered, putting his pen down and looking at Ed closely.

Edward shrugged and plopped down on the couch. He threw his feet on the coffee table. "I hate being immobile so I did it in one."

"Feet off my table." Mustang ordered.

Growling in annoyance, Edward dropped his feet to the ground.

The older alchemist continued with the conversation as if he didn't interrupt it. "Were you trying to kill yourself?" Without waiting for a reply, he continued. "I assume since you are wearing gloves, a jacket, and a coat that you want to hide your automail. If you want I can make it so only a few people know about it."

Ed looked at his commander with relief, but hid it under an angry and annoyed expression. "Who would know about it?"

"Doctor Young, the Fuhrer, Lieutenant Hawkeye, and myself. Anyone else who knows will be your problem since you let them find out." Mustang replied.

Edward inclined his head forward in a short nod of his head in his form of thanks. "Is that all?"

Mustang flipped through Edward's profile. He rested one of his hands on his cheek "Your fighting abilities have already been proven by you saving the train, so that is fine. You are physical and mentally healthy, though with a great hate for your father. It is surprising that you are in such great shape. Doctor Young was actually shocked by the amount of muscle you have. She's never seen a kid your age with as much muscle as you have."

"Most kids my age aren't trained." Edward retorted.

Mustang raised a brow at that. Trained? He knew the kid was trained in alchemy, but that wouldn't get him all the muscle he had. How hard had he been trained? He must have been rather young and trained rather hard. "That's all, Fullmetal. I don't see anything else wrong. You may leave."

Edward turned confused eyes to his commanding officer as he stood up. He didn't leave though. He kept his eyes trained on Mustang.

In return, Mustang raised a brow. "You were so eager to get out of here before."

"The uniform," Edward replied, staring at Mustang's blue military uniform with extreme dislike and frowned at the thought of having to wear it. "I need one before I can go on any missions and begin work, so where do I get one?"

Mustang frowned at Edward. True, officers needed to be in uniform at all times when on duty. Being out of uniform would get an officer court-martialed. But Ed was just a little kid in an adult's world, whether by force or by his own free will he didn't know. Either way, he was still a kid and deserved the chance to be a kid in any way that was possible for him. If he had to wear the uniform along with being in the military and going on missions, his whole childhood was gone.

"Well?" Edward demanded impatiently. He tapped his automail foot on the ground hard, making a clinking noise that echoed around them.

"No." Mustang replied, grabbing a form from nearby and began filling it out.

Edward stopped talking and blinked. "What?"

"No uniform for you." Mustang said, keeping his eyes on his paper.

"What? Why?" Edward asked, blinking in confusion. "Not that I'm complaining or anything. I'm just wondering why you don't want to give me one. I am part of the military, right?"

Mustang looked up from his paper, making the young boy squirm. It felt like the man was examining him. "You are, but I don't want to give you one. There is no point in you having one. You'll be traveling the whole time and doing missions. You won't even be in the office that much. Besides, it's obvious that you hate it and would probably be a brat and not put it on to annoy the higher-ups. It seems pointless to get one for you and waste money to get it tailored when you won't be here that much."

"Tailored? What the hell do you mean by that, bastard?" Edward shouted angrily.

Mustang rolled his eyes at his subordinate's reaction, but smirked. "Honestly, Fullmetal. Firstly, I can court-martial you for calling me names like that. And secondly, even the smallest size wouldn't fit you perfectly. It would be a little too loose on you and we would have to tailor it." [2]

Edward's eye twitched violently.

"Don't start with me, Fullmetal. It's the truth." Mustang went back to his paper. "You can leave now, Fullmetal."

With one last glare, Edward stomped out of the office, slamming the door shut behind him.

*End Flashback*

Edward shrugged. "He just said I didn't need to have one."

In Central, Mustang put the new uniform that just arrived in the closet in his office. It was Edward's tailored uniform. He told the young boy that he didn't need a uniform, but he got one and got the measurements from examining the boy and the medical report telling him the height and weight of the boy helped him figure out the right measurements for him. He wouldn't give it to him. The uniform was just so he had one incase anything came up that Edward needed to be in uniform for.

"What are these people afraid they'll run into on their way to East City?" Al asked.

Edward shrugged. "Remember that train we saved from the Eastern Liberation Front?"

"How could I forget? It's the first thing we've ever done to save people." Al replied with a smile.

Edward nodded his head. "Well, there are more people from it then just the group on the train. They are running around, committing crimes and attacking military personal. They just want an alchemist or two," He smiled at his brother. "To help the situation. And since we've dealt with them before, I guess we are good candidates for this mission."

"Why are they escorting these mechanics? I mean, what is so important about them?" Al asked.

"I didn't ask. But now that you mention it, I should have, but Mustang didn't explain the mission to me. He just threw the file at me before going back into his office, so I left without reading it. We can ask them when we meet them." Edward replied. He stretched his legs out in front of him. "It should take about four hours to get to Akran. They are supposed to meet us at the train station and we are to lead them to East City."

"Why don't we meet them in New Optain? We're just going to have to backtrack to New Optain and head to East City from there." Al said with a frown.

"Apparently New Optain is just as dangerous. The whole of the East Area is dangerous. They are cowards, that's all. Besides, we won't be taking any transportation there. We have to walk. These mechanics must be valuable asserts to the military if they are doing all this for them. Either way, they are just wasting our time. I don't really care what they do. I have more important things I could be doing, but no. I have to escort military officers who can't handle a few terrorists on their own and need two kids to protect them." Edward muttered, staring out the window.

Al sighed. "Brother, we should help people in the military too. We can't just pick and choose who we help. We should help anyone who needs help."

Edward scoffed and looked at his brother with narrowed eyes. "I'm not about to go help someone who won't try to help themselves first. If they are just waiting around for someone to come save them, they can forget it. I'm not helping them. They need to have the will to fix something by themselves. Waiting around will never get anything done. They need to stand up and fix it themselves."

Al shook his head. "Your philosophies, brother, are wise, but can be considered rude and can be viewed as selfish by others."

"How is it selfish to want them to try to save themselves without outside help?" Edward retorted.

"It's not. I'm just saying no one, except me, knows your philosophies. You have a way of telling people that you won't help them, in the rudest ways possible. They might think you are being mean and selfish for not helping them. They probably can't understand what you are trying to teach them by making them try to save themselves first." Al explained calmly.

Edward sighed and laid down on the bench. "If they can't figure it out, then they are idiots who will never receive help from the Fullmetal Alchemist."

Al rolled his eyes and smiled. "What about me? Don't I get mentioned at all?"

Ed opened one eye to look at Al. "Hmm, but saying the Fullmetal Alchemist and Al sounds stupid. You need a name like mine."

"But only State Alchemists get second names." Al pointed out.

"It will just be unofficial since you will probably be coming on most missions with me." Edward replied. "What shall I call?"

Al almost groaned at the thought of his brother coming up with a name for him. His brother tended to be rather bad with names and always went to the extreme with everything. Having a name picked by his brother meant it was going to horrible and Al would hate it, but his brother would love it and refuse to call him anything but that name for weeks, maybe months, until Al finally relented to the name.

After a few minutes of thought, going over everything in his head, Edward's eyes lit up and he sat up to look at Al with a huge grin and a mischievous glint with amusement in his eyes. "I got the perfect name."

Al sighed, ready to accept his fate. "What is it?"

"The Merciful Knight Alchemist." Edward said dramatically.

Al blinked in surprise. He said the name a few times in his head and out loud, letting the name roll off his tongue. His face broke into a big grin. "I love the name, brother. I thought you would give me a horrible name, but that is actually great."

Edward frowned for a second before grinning again. "What? Do you really think I would let my baby brother walk around with a horrible name while his older brother is walking around with an awesome one? No way! It would ruin my reputation."

"What reputation?" Al retorted playfully.

"The one I'm working on right now, duh!" Edward replied, leaning forward and knocking on his brother's forehead like he was testing to see if his head was hollow after such a stupid question.

Al knocked his brother's hand away and smiled. He loved times like this with his brother, where they could just act their age and have fun together like kids their age are supposed to be doing. It gave him time to forget his brother was in the military, had two metal limbs and they were heading off on a mission.

"So why is it Merciful Knight Alchemist?" Al asked with a grin.

"Because you are compassionate, kindhearted, and very sympathetic, the complete opposite of me." Edward smirked at that. He enjoyed being evil. It was a lot fun.

Al laughed. "Brother, you're not evil. You do care about others and help them. You just…." He stopped as he searched for the right word. "….just do it in a hard way? You make sure they learn something from the experience. I just go and help someone, anyone, which makes me look like the most caring and nice person ever. But you care too, under all the stubbornness and recklessness. You just don't show it like I do."

Edward shrugged. He didn't want to be thought of as nice. Nice people get walked over and always get pushed into doing things they didn't want to do. Being a bastard, like Mustang, is how to make it and not get blackmailed. But Edward would never be like Mustang. He would help people and never deceive anyone to get what he wants.

"Knight comes from the fact that we are going to help people, save anyone that needs it. You are merciful to almost everyone. It's why you are the Merciful Knight Alchemist." Edward finished. He smirked.

Al, who noticed the smirk, groaned. "What is it now?"

Grinning now, Edward stood on his seat, facing Al. He pretended to be holding a microphone. "The terrible duo who roams the country, helping anyone they meet that needs it. We are the Alchemist Brothers, the Fullmetal Alchemist and…." He stopped and looked at Al expectantly.

Al's face was a deep red. His brother was being so loud that everyone in the car was looking at them. He looked up at his waiting brother, who had amusement shining in his eyes. Edward almost never felt embarrassed and if he did, he hid it under his anger.

Sighing, Al stood on his bench. He knew what his brother was doing. His brother was trying to get them to act their age because he knew that was what he wanted. He held an imaginary microphone in his hand. "And the Merciful Knight Alchemist!"

The boys stared at each other with huge grins. Al was glad to have such a great brother who would do the most ridiculous, but very fun, things for him. Edward was just happy to see such a big smile on his little brother's face.

The train suddenly lurched violently. Ed and Al flew from their seats, smacking their heads together. They fell into a heap on the ground between the benches in pain.

"I hate trains." Edward moaned.

"This is your fault." Al muttered.

Edward laughed. "Never a peaceful and safe day when the Alchemist Brothers are around."

Al laughed lightly. "Too bad. Maybe a peaceful life would be awesome."

"Yeah, with mom in Resembool." Edward murmured.

A man's face suddenly appeared above the boys. "Are you boys okay?"

"Never better." Edward pulled himself up to his seat and rubbed his head.

"Yeah, this kind of pain is nothing compared to training." Al added as he sat back in his seat.

Edward and Alphonse looked at each other and shuddered a little at the thought of their training under their master.

"If you're sure." The man said and walked away confused.

"Now I'm taking a nap." Edward declared as he laid on the bench and closed his eyes.

"I swear sleeping is your favorite all-time activity." Al muttered.

"Don't swear, Al." Ed barked.

Al rolled his eyes. "Hypocrite." His brother didn't let him swear because it's bad, but he swears all the time. It doesn't matter to Al. He doesn't like swearing. He just hates hypocrites. Well, not hate because his brother can be one at times. Hypocrites just annoy him greatly.

Al watched his brother sleep as the train continued forward. His brother slept and ate a lot more than a normal person. According to Winry it is normal for someone as young as Ed with two automail limbs to be so tired and hungry all the time. His body needs more energy to be able to handle the metal limbs.

Bored, Al pulled out a book to read for the rest of the train ride. He knew his brother wasn't going to wake up any time soon and he needed to do something to pass the time.

A/N: [1] Mustang is the commanding officer. Hawkeye is Mustang's body guard, personal aid, and secretary. Havoc is the head of the rest of the unit, but Hawkeye gets more respect than him because of her strictness and her being a higher rank. Havoc is so laid back that the others don't respect him as an authority figure. I did not make this up. I looked it all up. This is merely a note for anyone else who did not realize this.

[2] I said it would only be a little small because I was thinking of Fuery. He's only a little bigger than Ed so the size difference isn't a whole lot, in my opinion at least. You might think differently.

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