It had been the day after their victory in the Love Live! preliminaries. Eri and Nozomi had been sitting in the purple headed girl's living room, quietly enjoying the evening and each other's presence, drinking tea all along. To Eri's surprise Nozomi had called her herself, something uncharacteristic for the quite shrine maiden that she usually was. Without a second thought, Eri had agreed to come over. After all she had wanted to tell her best friend about her plans during Christmas.

"Erichi?"

Nozomi had been the first to break the silence. Without looking at Eri, she had held her cup in her hands with a strong grip as if her life depended on it. The blonde had been getting confused and worried at the same time, thinking about what could possibly happen that made Nozomi that nervous. So she had hummed a "Hm?", making sure that Nozomi knew she had her full attention.

"Do you have plans for Christmas?" Nozomi had asked quietly.

This single question had managed to make Eri feel utterly guilty. The moment Nozomi had asked her she knew what the other girl wanted to ask her in an instant if Eri's answer would be "No.". And as much as Eri had wished for her answer to be exactly that, she couldn't.

Meanwhile, Nozomi had stopped looking at her tea, redirecting her gaze to Eri. She had had this hopeful spark in her eyes and Eri had mistaken herself for a mind reader, because she was sure that Nozomi was pleading for her to say this one word in her mind. One word that would have had the power to make the both of them happy, while the opposite sure would hurt them both. A pain Eri was already feeling, knowing she had to destroy this hope her best friend, the girl she had fallen in love with, had at this moment.

"Nozomi…. I'm sorry. Arisa and I are supposed to fly back to Russia to spend the holidays with our family."

The moment she had uttered the words, Eri could have sworn she saw the moment Nozomi's eyes had become somewhat dull. But the girl had faked a smile nonetheless.

"That sure sound's nice. I bet you're going to have a lot of fun, Erichi."

Not as much fun as I would have being with you… She had wanted to say these words, but Eri couldn't. She hadn't been sure if they would ease the pain Nozomi sure had been feeling or if they would just hurt her more.

Before Eri could say anything else, Nozomi had added "When are you departing?"

"In two days. I wanted to tell you today." Eri had been sipping on her tea. She hadn't felt like drinking anything anymore. But she hadn't wanted to just sit there either. But suddenly, an Idea had popped into her head and she desperately had begged to any god existing for Nozomi to say "Yes" to what she had been about to say. "Actually I wanted to ask you if you wanted to come along." Eri had been sure that her family wouldn't mind.

Nozomi's eyes had snapped up in an instant, looking straight into Eri's as if she had searched for any sign of the quarter Russian to be joking. There had been a faint glow in her own eyes that Eri had recognized right away.

"Actually…" The purple headed girl had started and Eri had known immediately where this was going when the light in Nozomi's eyes had faded again. "I asked because I wanted to go out, visiting Akiba during Christmas. Since my parents may be coming we wouldn't have been able to spend a lot time together…"

"Your parents?" Eri hadn't believed her. The way her best friend had smiled betrayed her, telling Eri that she had lied. But Eri had decided not to pursue it any further. If Nozomi wanted it that way, Eri wouldn't say anything against it.

"Why did you decline?"

Remembering this evening a few days ago, Eri sighed. She still sat beneath the window and observed the night sky. Being apart from Nozomi for more than just a day felt strange. Since they became friends the two of them would always be together. When Eri got to know that Nozomi lived alone she would make sure to visit her every day or to ask her out for a walk so that the spiritual girl would feel less lonely. And despite that, here she was. Thousand miles away, at a time where you didn't want to be alone. Just thinking about Nozomi who was probably in her bedroom, either crying or hugging a pillow, being lonely, hurt Eri more than any physical wound could.

And it felt foreboding. They were graduating soon. They never talked about what they were going to do afterwards, which college they would attend. Eri didn't want to have the confirmation that they would have to part probably. She couldn't stand the thought. That was why she never started this conversation to begin with. But they had to talk about it soon.

If she wouldn't have fallen in love with her best friend, she wouldn't have to be like this. But she had, and even if she didn't regret she did, Eri wished for this heart-breaking pain and uncertainty to vanish. But the one thing that could ease this pain was the whole reason for it. It was pretty ironic, Eri thought.

As she watched the stars she took one notepad that was barely in reach and a pen. She started to write down words that came to her mind, hoping that sharing everything with this piece of paper would help her forget.

And it did. When her mind became clear again, Eri decided something. She stood up and walked through the house, ignoring everyone who called her. She had a destination, literally. Even if it was stupid, hell it was stupid, even if it crazy, Eri was sure she would do it.

When she stood in front of the kitchen, she breathed in sharply. Her grandmother wouldn't like what she wanted to ask. Eri hoped that her mother would understand. If not, she hoped that Arisa helped her to convince them. Her little sister sure would support her. And if nothing worked… well, she would do it anyway. There always was a possibility.

She opened the door, startling her mother, Arisa and grandmother in the process. "Mom, I want to ask you a favour."

Her mother looked surprised but nodded anyway, signalling her daughter to continue.

"I know it might sound selfish… But I want to fly back to Japan as soon as possible. To be honest, I would like to depart right now, but… well…"

"Erichika, what-" Her grandmother was about to start but was cut off by a slight move from her mother's hand.

"I believe there is a good reason for you to ask that?"

Eri gazed from her mother to her sister. Arisa was smiling brightly, reassuring her with a nod to continue. Returning the smile she looked back to her mother, her eyes clear and determined. "Of course there is. You see…"

She started to explain the situation, careful not to drop any hints about how she really felt about Nozomi. She would tell her family someday. But today was not the day. When she finished, she stood straight before bowing down. "Please…. I even pay for the ticket myself if you are not willing to. I just-"

"It's ok." Looking back up, Eri found her mother smiling. A knowing smile. "Being alone is always hard, but during Christmas…" Her mother turned around to speak with her grandmother. "I'm sure you don't mind, hearing this?"

"Actually… I am upset. But I guess it would be quite cold hearted of me to forbid it."

With that, Eri's mother turned to Arisa. "Arisa, would you mind looking up when-"

"Done!" The youngest of them held up her phone that showed the next possible flight back to Tokyo. She was beaming at Eri and Eri couldn't have been more proud as she was right now. "You have about three and an half hour to pack some of your things and reach the airport."

"Shouldn't be a problem. I'll drive you myself." Her mother announced, already leaving the kitchen. "And be sure to check up your things a couple of times. We don't want you to forget something important." She winked at her and Eri knew that her mother was aware all along.

But then again, Eri didn't need to be told twice.

It was already dark outside. It was half past eleven to be more precise, thanks to the different time zones. Eri had arrived in Tokyo just a couple of minutes ago. Despite traveling more than 15 hours she ran to the next bus stop. And once she reached her destination she ran again. This time right towards the apartment where the person lived in she did all this for. The only thought occupying her mind was the wish that Nozomi really was alone. As strange as it sounded, and Eri knew it sounded really strange, a scenario where she stood in front of Nozomi, her worries nothing than just her mind being hopeless again, was just too embarrassing.

When she stood in front of the door to the shrine maidens' apartment she took a few seconds to catch her breath and to look for the one item she had checked five times on before she left her grandmother's home. With everything ready, she knocked.

She heard a faint "Coming" from behind the door. Her heart started to pound in her chest and Eri wasn't sure if she could handle both, the exhaustion and the excitement of hearing Nozomi making her way towards the door.

When the handle turned down Eri could have sworn that her heart stopped for a couple of seconds. But the face that greeted her restarted it in a second. And Eri couldn't stop the smile that was forming.

In front of her, dressed in some casual clothes that looked kind of wrinkled, stood Nozomi, eyes wide in shock. She looked like she just saw a ghost, her mouth slightly agape as if she wanted to say something but couldn't think of anything appropriate.

"Nozomi…?" Eri slowly started and took a step towards her friend. "It's still the 26th, isn't it? So…" She took out the small present she had hid behind her back and held it out. It was wrapped in purple paper with a light blue ribbon on top. Eri thought it was just perfect. "Merry Christmas, Nozomi."

Nozomi looked at the gift and then back at Eri who was smiling, cheeks red not just from the cold or her run. Her lips started to tremble a little and her eyes became watery as the purple headed girl let go of the door handle and threw herself at her blonde friend.

"Erichi…"

When Nozomi started to cry into her shoulder, Eri just hold her and smiled. It was the perfect surprise.

In that moment, she totally forgot the note she had written during her flight, the thoughts that had haunted her on her way back to where she wanted to be.

On a tiny piece of paper were the first lines of a song that had played in her head since she had watched the night sky in Russia. The result of all the fears she had needed to spill out beneath the window.

I'm sure that I would've been better of ignorant

Holding such pain in my chest,

I smiled each day, not saying a word about it

And told myself to forget.

AN: Wow... I wouldn't have thought this story would have 8 followers with just the first chapter. I am really grateful and I hope I didn't disappoint you with chapter 2. Thanks for following, thanks for adding this to your favorites.

As you can see, the song is not finished yet. We are not even halfway through. There will be worse days to come...

As for the ending for this chapter: It may feel forced, but I felt this was the perfect situation to describe how much Eri cares for Nozomi and her happiness, to what she would be able to do and be willing to do, how much she loves Nozomi.

If you have more questions feel free to ask me on tumblr ( .com). I will gladly answer you.

Also, I'm still looking for someone who would be my beta (pls *puppy eyes*). '^^

Until we meet again.

Thank you.