Thank you so much for the reviews, guys! Arrived for the fluff and stayed for the angst. Anywho, let's continue on.

"Don't do something stupid for something I gave up in the first place. Swear to me."

The match flared to life in Dean's hand before calming down to a small flame. With a deep sigh that made his chest feel like it would cave in, he passed the fire beneath a bit of kindling and flicked it into the pyre once it caught. They did this way too often.

He backed away just as the fire found the gas and quickly spread across the logs and sheet that had been gently wrapped around Catherine's body. They had searched her for weapons before hand, only finding a knife in her jacket. Asking Balthazar questions about her weapon habits or even if he knew of any friends or family she had before all of this resulted in absolutely nothing. After the outburst in the barn, he seemed to have completely turned to stone. Dean blinked and looked at the people around him. Gabriel, Cas, and Kevin watched the fire burning, but Sam looked to him and shrugged. Of course he wasn't going to show.

He glanced behind them then up to the dark purple sky, watching the smoke rise. They had been forced to wait several hours in New York, waiting for Michael and Lucifer to lose their trail. Dean had watched Gabriel hand over one of the graces he had collected to Balthazar, but he was so sure that the man would punch him that he jumped forward to stop them. Instead, Bal just stared at the archangel, took it in his hand, and looked away.

Dean took a deep breath and nodded a few times before Gabriel clapped him on the shoulder. "No," the angel said, "I'll go find him." The Winchester watched him turn away before looking to the others. Sam had bowed his head. Kevin seemed to be pale and horrified. Castiel, though, slowly sank down until he was sitting on the ground, watching the fire burn. After a moment, Dean sat down with him.

Gabriel glanced back to them and up to the sky, finding where the sun was rising and making a bee line in the direction. It wasn't that he didn't want Balthazar to have a moment alone or anything. It was just the way he seemed to be handling this. Gabe didn't want his brother to take a bad path because of her death, but some version of that path seemed inevitable at this point. They had offered more than once to give him a moment alone with her, but he just refused the entire thought of such a prospect. He didn't want to be anywhere near her body. He didn't even want to look at her. Again, Gabriel supposed he couldn't really blame him, but he had clung so fiercely to Catherine when he had first found her that the idea of him rejecting the contact was confusing.

Maybe it was a human thing.

His feet crunched over the leaves on purpose, hopefully telling Balthazar that he was getting nearer, yet somehow doubting that he was registering even that much at the moment. He found his brother sitting a top the ditch of the driveway, watching the first rays of the sun slowly appear. After glancing around, Gabe found exactly what he predicted and had to stop short before stepping on his brother's grace and possibly cracking the crystal.

He sighed and looked up to the other's back. "Balthazar." There was no reply or any sign that the man had even heard him. "They started without you." Still nothing. Gabe shifted in place, ultimately deciding that moving forward probably wasn't a good idea. "I know you don't want to, but you should be there. The others are worried about you. I'm starting to get worried about you." The other bowed his head, but still didn't make a reply. It was better than nothing. "You should at least-"

"Shut up," Balthazar finally spoke up, immediately silencing his brother. He sighed and shook his head before slowly getting to his feet. A silence passed that he knew needed to be filled and he remembered back to the other times he felt that something needed to be said and he kept his mouth his shut. Bal sighed again, placing his hands on his hips and watching his feet. "Why didn't you bring her back?"

Gabriel blinked and tilted his head. "I told you why," he answered slowly, wondering if there was some sort of psychic break going on here. "I can't find her soul."

A tension grew that was only confirmed as Balthazar slowly turned to face his brother with a hardened glare. "Really?" he asked sarcastically. "Gabriel the archangel can't see one human soul?"

"You don't believe me?" The question was a rhetorical one, but Gabriel didn't move to go on the offensive either. Not yet, at least.

But Balthazar frowned and, with his next words, Gabe thought that a fist fight might do them both good. "You wanted her gone."

The silence that passed between them couldn't have been stabbed at if anyone even wanted to. "Excuse me?" Gabe eventually asked coolly in return.

Bal began to approach him, fuming. "Forbidden for a reason," he quoted with a hiss, "She's mortal. I'm not. It's wrong!"

"I didn't say it was wrong," Gabriel told him seriously, but Balthazar surprisingly smiled and started laughing. The other closed his eyes. "I liked her-"

"Did you?" Bal nearly yelled, "Really?"

"I didn't want her dead!" he screamed, finally gaining silence from his brother after working so hard to make it go away the first time. As Bal watched him, shifting on his feet, Gabe calmed down and tried again. "I like you, too. This is why it's forbidden. This is inevitable, either way. I didn't like it, because I didn't want this." He motioned to the ground, like her body was still at his feet or something, but Balthazar seemed to catch the gist of it anyway.

The other stayed still for a moment, then rubbed at his eyes and turned away again. "If you can't sense her, then where is she?"

Gabriel sighed and shrugged. "She's not in Heaven... or Hell. She's not on Earth. At least, I can't see her no matter where she is-"

"The point, Gabe." Balthazar turned back around, swiping his hand away but looking to the ground. "What's your point?"

He just sighed again. "I checked over her body. Lucifer was the one that killed her." Bal shifted in place, but he continued like he didn't notice. "The thing is, Michael and Lucifer were both there at the time she died and they were both pretty pissed with her... She made a deal with Luci that she went back on, but she weakened Michael more than anyone else ever has before, so... it's safe to say that he did something with her soul."

"Something?" Bal asked, looking up to his brother tiredly, but suddenly frowning at the look he was getting.

Gabriel watched him and eventually nodded. "Something. Yeah."

Balthazar blinked at him and bit the inside of his cheek so hard that he tasted blood. "What are you implying?" he asked, "That he just went mad with rage and-... He wouldn't do that."

The other looked away. "He's strong enough. Always has been."

"We're supposed to protect their souls!" he screamed, alarming Gabriel with the outburst, "He knows that better than anyone! He wouldn't go back on God's freaking word!"

"He's changed," the archangel pressed. "I don't know what he'd do. He's spent time Hell, for pity's sake. You've seen what that's done to Lucifer."

"Lucifer was always like that," Balthazar growled. "His way or no way. He hasn't changed one bit."

"He didn't decorate his house with people's guts! He wasn't a blood thirsty psycho that wanted everyone gone. He killed me!" It had already been said before he could stop it from coming out and Bal had turned away before he could remark on it again. That was, apparently, a bit of a sore topic that Gabe didn't know he had.

They both kept quiet for a moment, then Balthazar shook his head and mumbled, "He wouldn't do that," a few times while shifting in place.

Gabriel watched him and didn't say anything. If she was gone, there was nothing they could do and it would just hurt his brother that much more. If she wasn't... then he had to believe in something, didn't he? "You should take your grace back," Gabe sighed, "If she's out there, we can find her quicker with the two of us."

"I don't want the damn thing," Bal growled again, wheeling back on his brother again. "I don't care what she gave for it, I don't want it."

"She died for it-"

"No, she didn't!"Again, the outburst was surprising, but Gabriel shifted his feet and watched his brother closely. He wasn't denying her death, but he was certainly having a hard time with it. Balthazar paced away a few steps, unsure if he wanted to approach or not considering how tense he was. "She swore to me. Whatever the hell happened back there, I know that she swore to me. If I have to, I'll get her back and question her myself!"

Gabe shook his head and spoke calmly. "She swore to you, because she loved you. She did what she felt had to be done, because she loved you."

"You don't know how she felt," he answered back angrily, "Not about me. Not about anything-"

"You think she didn't?" the archangel asked incredulously, "It couldn't have been more obvious that you two were jumping on the bed when you got back here. Christ, she died for-"

"Stop!" This time, Bal approached him, getting in his space again like before. "She didn't die for me! She-..." He took a breath and stepped off a bit. "She didn't die at all. She's not gone."

Gabriel closed his eyes. "Bal..."

"You- You are going to bring her back." After a moment, Gabe looked back to his brother again, who continued. "Next to me and Michael, I'm blaming you. You decided to chase after Lucifer. You told me that this was forbidden. You brought her back before. She counted on you when things were bad-"

"No." Gabriel stopped him and the shock on Balthazar's face was slowly beginning to turn into anger before he continued. "I'm not going to bring her back without her soul. It won't be her, you know that. It'll be an immoral shell with a shotgun. She'd kill someone if they so much as looked at her wrong and I know you don't give a damn about that, but she would and you know it." Bal glared to him, but stayed quiet in his anger, so Gabe sighed. "We'll find her soul. We'll bring her back the right way. It's not like we can take her to Heaven right now anyway, so..."

Balthazar started shaking his head, making Gabriel frown in confusion before he elaborated. "No, you won't," Bal told him, "Michael lost his graces and now Lucifer's in control. He could pop at any second and you expect me to believe you're going to drop all of that for her?"

Of course. Gabe bit his lip and nodded. "There's... obviously priorities."

"Not for me." Balthazar watched Gabe's confused eyes for a moment, thinking over once more what he was about to say and nodded one quick time. "I'm going to find Michael. Alone. When I get her soul, you will bring her back."

The archangel's confusion quickly turned to concern. "He's not as powerful now, but-"

"Lucifer is the strong one," Bal interrupted. "You need as much as you can against him, I understand that. I need to go alone... I won't be of any use to you right now, anyway."

Balthazar turned and took a few steps away from his older brother, while Gabriel thought that proposition over. He was right. With the grief, Bal wouldn't be of much use if he was trying to do his own agenda at every turn. They needed to be a stronger team than that. Of course, Michael probably didn't have Catherine's soul at all, but if he did something to her then... maybe he'd know what he did and where she was. If she still existed. If he did anything to her soul at all.

Gabriel bent down to the ground and rose back up with something in his hand. "If you're sure, you'll need some sort of help."

Balthazar turned back to him and groaned when he saw the grace. "I don't want-!"

"I know." Gabriel approached him anyway, untangling the cord before looping it over his younger brother's head. "You might need it, though. What am I supposed to do when she comes back and finds out you died because you're stubborn?" Balthazar didn't answer. Any answer that would suffice would be a sarcastic one and he didn't want to think about humor right now. Instead, he looked down to the bright little grace and brought his hand up to cradle it. After a beat, Gabe spoke again. "Since it's been with Michael and Raphael's graces, it's probably healed up some since the fall. Just break the glass in case of an emergency... Okay?"

Bal nodded and looked up to his brother again. He already knew what the next words were. He was going to say something about him making up his mind or staying here for a few days or something... Before Gabriel could get a word out, he turned and walked pass him back to the bunker.

He had to go around the corner to get to the entrance, but the first thing he noticed was the burning pyre. The fire was so engulfing that the idea of a body being in the middle of all that seemed so strange, but he knew that she was. He knew that she was in there, letting the fire boil and burn her away without any protest. Fitting, he thought bitterly and immediately felt so guilty that he could have been sick.

Balthazar watched the fire lick up to the sky for another moment before quickly turning away and going into the bunker.

Being human had been an adaptive process since this entire thing started, but it was even stranger since her death. Sometimes, Balthazar couldn't breathe – as if he were drowning – and he felt like sitting down somewhere and never getting back up again. Other times, he wanted to scream and rip the lungs out of anyone that dared to even try to speak to him. Most of the time, though, he was hardly even there. Maybe these weird developments would ease up in time. It had only been a handful of hours since they found her body. Back in New York, he noticed that the Winchesters were whispering to themselves about him, but the only word he managed to pick up was shock.

He knew that humans did experience shock after something big happening. He didn't think he'd ever be afflicted by such a thing given who he was, but it didn't really matter one way or the other. It just felt very strange to start thinking about one thing then blinking and being somewhere completely different doing something else.

Like now. Apparently, his absent minded self had seen fit to take a shower. It was for the best. He was still covered in blood and trying to rub the stains off with his hands had only made the others more concerned, so he had stopped trying long ago. He did not like their concerned, pitiful stares. He didn't like their reactions to any bit of this, but it wasn't like they knew her well anyway. Perhaps his reaction to an insignificant human's death had surprised them. At the moment, he couldn't care less, especially since he wouldn't have to look at them anymore soon. He wasn't big for goodbyes either, so he planned to leave as soon as he was packed... and, apparently, done with this shower.

At first, the idea of humans having to clean themselves on a regular basis was extremely annoying and, in his opinion, time consuming, but he found that the action had become better and better every time. He rested in place for a moment, allowing the scalding hot water to pass over his skin and relax the tense muscles. He half thought about curling up in the tub and falling asleep, but that had the extreme possibility of raising eyebrows despite how unrelated it was. He was just... very tired. The thought of sleep vanished as he watched himself scrub at his hand again and the water started turning red in his palm.

Next thing Balthazar knew, he was mostly dried off and looking for cleaner clothes to wear. He pulled on a new shirt and shook his head, a shiver going through his spine reminding him of the temperature. Now that he was out of shower, the world was freezing and he somehow doubted it was going to warm up anytime soon. Probably just get colder if anything. For the pass few days, the cold had hardly even bothered him, but he also had other things on his mind as well. Now, it was just another thing to focus on.

He put on several layers beneath his now worn in jacket. Thankfully, packing wasn't a big problem. He was still living out of the same bag since they had arrived at the bunker. The hard part was knowing that he only had half of the set. She had kept the medical equipment, spare ammunition, and an angel blade in her bag. He looked over to the other side of the bed, knowing that her bag was under it and working very hard to not actually think about the bed itself or the room.

After a deep breath, he slowly paced around to the other side, going down on one knee to see it. Of course, his first thought was to just leave the thing there, but her things could save his life if push came to shove. He groaned and quickly jerked her bag out and placed it on top of the bed. Then he just... stared at it. He wasn't entirely sure what all was in there or what he'd have to dig through to find what he needed. Probably a bottle of whiskey that had hardly been touched. Mostly her clothes. Maybe even old pictures or a book or something... After some thought, he decided that he couldn't go through her things. It wasn't that it was an invasion of privacy, but he found that he just... couldn't. On the other hand, he wouldn't get very far otherwise.

He reached across the bed and zipped up his own bag, grabbing them both and tossing them over his shoulder. Med kit or not, he couldn't very well leave her- her things in this bunker when it was filled with people she had hardly known. Taking it with him meant that he wouldn't have to go through it unless necessary, so everyone won.

Without looking back, Balthazar slammed the door closed behind him and began his small trek to the garage. It seemed that everyone was still outside or something, so he thankfully didn't have to worry about trying to explain this to someone else. Gabriel had taken his grand idea in stride, but he probably had more than enough time by now to blab his mouth to everyone else.

"Balthazar?"

He scowled and continued walking.

"Balthazar."

He slowed to a stop, closing his eyes. Castiel's footsteps approached from behind so, with a big sigh, he turned to face his other brother but remained quiet. Cas stopped in front of him, looking at the bags over his shoulder in confusion. "You're leaving."

It wasn't a question, so Bal didn't see it worth answering. He just waited for this lecture to be over.

But the other licked his lips and adjusted his shoulders to seem more confident than he really was before asking, "Do you need help?"

After a beat of silence, Balthazar blinked and furrowed his brow. Castiel sighed and shifted, obviously trying to reiterate what was said. "I know you don't trust me. I understand why and you more than have a right to. You tried to save me, I killed you for it, and I am sorry... I'm also sorry about... this." His brother still didn't answer. It seemed that his face was permanently holding that look of bafflement. "Gabriel told me what you're doing and I-... If I can help at all, I want to. I liked her a great deal and if helping to find her makes you normal again, then I want to do what I can. I can't fix what I've done, but I... you know... want to do something..." He paused and still only got a stare in return. "Balthazar, I'm trying to say that I'm sor-"

He was interrupted by a sudden, tight hug from his brother. The act was quite surprising and he still wasn't speaking, so Cas just awkwardly returned the hug as best he could.

After a moment or so, Bal pulled away and took a deep breath before finally speaking. "You need to be here."

Castiel frowned worriedly. "You truly plan to go after Michael on your own?"

"I have to," he said, keeping one hand on his brother's shoulder. "Lucifer's too strong. I shouldn't be leaving at all because of him, but... I can't just... stay here."

"I know." Bal frowned, so Cas shrugged. "It's humanity. They... change us. I-..." He sighed and shook his head, deciding to change topics. "If you need anything, absolutely anything, you'll call?" Balthazar nodded and his brother continued. "If things get really bad, Gabriel can still hear prayers. I don't know if he'll take on any of the graces he's gotten, but if he at least takes Raphael's, his wings should heal. He can be there in a second-"

"I'll be fine," Balthazar interrupted. Castiel stared at him and bit his lip with a small nod. After a second, Bal squeezed his brother's shoulder. "Thank you... I'll call. I promise."

Cas nodded again, but quickly spoke up. "You-... I'm not trying to stop you, but you could wait until tomorrow. You're tired. You have to be."

Slowly, Bal shook his head. "I can't wait," he eventually answered. "I couldn't even sleep if I tried. I need to-... I can't stay."

His brother bowed his head for a moment, then looked back up with a sharp, understanding nod. They just watched each other for a moment before Balthazar finally said, "Bye, Cassie." Then he let go of the other's shoulder and walked away. Cas didn't call him back again.

He honestly didn't put much thought into it when he immediately went for the Challenger, throwing the bags into the back and taking the driver's seat like he had on a few occasions. It was her car, so she was the one that mostly drove, but it didn't feel weird or anything at least.

The car pulled out of the garage and onto the driveway. He didn't much care if those other nitwits noticed him leaving or what they thought about it. Again, he wasn't much for farewells with that lot.

It wasn't until he was at the end of the drive that he glanced over to the passenger seat and that sudden feeling of drowning took over again. His hand slid down the steering wheel and his grace felt heavy beneath his shirts. Balthazar had the sudden thought of turning around and going back to Gabriel, accepting his good for nothing grace back, and helping to finish what she obviously had aimed to do. It was what she really wanted. It was why she made such a heavy sacrifice. The survival of him and the rest of the world all in one swoop.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there, but Balthazar eventually took a deep breath and pulled on to the black top. Screw what she wanted. She would just have to bitch at him later.

And the next arc begins! What's going to happen now, folks? Muahaha.

Anyway, lots of important information in this chapter that was well needed after the other just ended like that.

I'd love to hear your comments and such. Review, please, and remember to follow/fave if you wish. Thank you!