What If The World Was Perfect

I never liked wine. Edward drank it constantly at dinner, I just never much liked the taste. But here I sat, half a bottle down as I watched tiny air bubbles escape from under the water of our unnecessarily big swimming pool. Edwards silver Corvette shining underneath the surface. It had taken a bit of work to get it into the backyard and push it nose first into the deep end. I had to break down one of the side fences to even get it close. It was worth it just to watch it sink to the bottom of the pool.

It had maybe been taking it to far. But it had made me feel slightly better. My mind was still trying to come to terms with what I had read on his phone. I didn't know how to feel. How long had it been going on? Did he love her as she claimed to love him? I didn't know what to think. What to do.

I had already called Jake, my brother and cried my heart out to him. He was ready to put Edward in the hospital. But that's not what I wanted. Violence would solve this. He did convince me to call Jenks though and have him draw up a quick set of divorce paper. It wouldn't take long he assured. We had both signed a prenuptial agreement at the insistence of my father. It would make the separation quick and easy. Married and divorced before 25. I bet my parents are so proud.

Five years of marriage and four years together before that and this is how it ends. I knew I needed to hear him out. See what his side of things were. Or maybe I just wanted to hear it from him that it was true. Maybe it'd make it easier to hate him. But I doubted it. I had loved nine years and would have loved him for a hundred more. I wish I could have hated him, he's the only man I've ever been with, The only man I've ever loved. I thought I could say the same thing for him, but I guess not.

I brought the wine glass to my lips lazily, swallowing the last of the contents. I walked calming back inside, refilling my glass just in time for the doorbell to ring. I sighed drinking half the glass before making my way to the front door. JJ Jenks stood on the other side looking around nervously. He handed me the papers quickly and explained them briefly before he was gone again. I looked down at the papers. Not actually reading, but just blankly looking at them. Was this really what this came to. A few words on paper and it was done. I would no longer be Mrs Isabella Masen. I'd go back to being just me. Bella Swan.

A saying my father use to tell me came to mind. If you catch the right one too early, you run the risk of it being too young and having to set it free, maybe we had been too young. We didn't have the experience most people had before catching the right fish. Maybe if we had met later in life things would be different. But the game of what if is a dangerous game to play. You could spend forever with the regrets of what could have happened and would never know for sure.

I heard the doorbell ring once and then twice more when I didn't answer it. I walked over to it, but didn't open it. I just stood staring at it. As if I was trying go see through it.

Come to 149 Eastwick street at 4pm. We can talk there.

It was her. I knew this was coming. I had sent the message insuring it would. But now, with her standing just on the outside of the door to my home, the home I shared with the man both of us apparently loved, did I really want her here. So many memories tied into this place. We were going to raise our children here.

Would he now raise their child here? I couldn't bare that thought. We had spent four months looking for this place. Was I ready to just let it go? To let him go?

There was a rapid knock on the door now. She must be impatient to see Edward. To talk to him about their child. I blinked rapidly to stop the tears and swallowed the rest of my glass before setting it down on the side table and pulling the door open.

She was blonde. Not just blonde. She was a strawberry blonde with icy blue eyes, a thin waist and big breasts.

Seriously?

I could tell she was shocked that I was the one to answer the door, she masked it quickly though and smiled brightly "I'm sorry. I must have the wrong place" she turned, ready to leave as fast as she could no doubt. Did she know it was me? The wife of the man that she is having a child with.

"Tanya, right?" I hadn't meant for the words to sound as if I was mocking her, but even to my own ears that's how it sounded and she stopped, almost at her car and turned to face me.

"Uh, yeah. That's right. Bella, isn't it?" She stuttered, still standing next to her car. I gestured to the open door. Silently inviting her in. She looked as if she would decline. But after glancing at her car and her watch. She decided to accept and walked into the house. I directed her to the living room before speaking.

"Oh, so you know who I am?" I asked refilling the wine glass I had picked back up on our way through. I didn't bother offering a glass. I knew she couldn't accept it.

"Of course. Edward talks about you all the time" by the wince on her face and the sadness that dimmed her eyes. I knew that was probably true. Had they spent the night together? Had she heard him call out my name as he often did in his sleep? Or did he not do that when he was with her. Did I not, even in sleep, come into his mind when they were together?

"So, you knew he had a wife, you just chose to sleep with him anyway?" She flinched at my words and I brought the glass to my lips as she thought to herself.

"Edward and I work together. Our relationship is purely professional" she said it so well that I almost believed her. How many times had she said it. To other people that maybe noticed something I didn't? Or maybe she had a husband of her own?

"So you're not pregnant with my husband's child?" Her eyes widened slightly and her mouth dropped open ever so slightly.

"Of course not" she denied shaking her head.

"I'm not mad at you or even Edward" I went on. Ignoring her denial "I wish maybe he'd have come to me. Told me he didn't love me anymore. Maybe it would have prevented heartache for both you and I"

"He does though" she was crying now. No doubt because of the hormones that came with carrying a child. Edwards child. The child I was suppose to be carrying "he loves you. He always talks about you, as if you were above all others. As if you were a God among mortals. He never, never talks about me that way" she was sobbing now and I resisted the urge to comfort her. She was hurting? Why? Because the man she was sleeping with didn't talk about her, like he did his wife? My sympathy doesn't quite cover that one "You're just always away. And you ignore him, you miss everything. You pushed him to do it"

I opened my mouth ready to answer. Was she really blaming me for her sleeping with my husband? I wasn't angry with her, I was furious. Maybe I did spend a little long at the office. Maybe I forgot a few dates. But I remember clearly what it was like that first year after he graduated law school. The late nights. Not seeing him for days and cold dinners alone. Did I run to someone else when I was lonely and tired of spending nights alone? No.

I crawled into one of his shirts and looked at old pictures of us. Reminded me why the lonely nights were worth it. It made him happy. It was all he ever wanted to do. So I accepted it. He was making a name for himself. And wasn't that what I was doing? Making a name for myself in my fathers company. Did my late nights and missed dates make it okay for this to happen? Make it okay for there to be some other woman to be sitting here in front of me carrying my husbands child? Trying to make it sound okay that he broke his vows to me in one of the worst possible ways? The world is a fucked up place if it does.

I didn't get a chance to say any of it though. Cause with the bang of the front door and the shocked look on my husbands face as he took in our guest. All my words just disappeared.