A/N: Thanks for being patient with me. I was beta testing two stories for other authors plus working on two of my Bones stories that I hope to have up in a day or two. I am thankful for the awesome reviews and hope I do a good job for you all. Enjoy reading.
Disclaimer: I don't own BBT, but I like taking a few them out to play on occasion.
Thirty-six hours after his epiphany, Sheldon arrived in Galveston. Getting off the train he felt a mixture of relief and wariness when he saw who picked him up. He was greeted with a hug that he was too exhausted to fight off.
"Hey Shelly. How are you?"
"Fine Missy" He looked around and saw she was alone. "Where's the baby and Mom?"
"Noah is with Robbie. Mom is at home. I thought you could use a break before started her interrogation. Ready to go?"
"Yeah" Sheldon picked up his stuff and the siblings walked to her pickup truck. He mentally shuddered as he hated being in them. He was afraid of being that high off the ground while moving and afraid he would fall out if the door fell open.
They drove for ten minutes in silence before Missy started conversation. "Shelly, can I ask what brought this sudden trip on? I know last time we talked you were busy with that new formula thing then Momma said you had to change your mind and that you're not into that string theory stuff anymore."
"It was a new element that was not one due to my stupid error and the Chinese lying, the Big Bang Theory is the new flavor of physics, and it's all done now. You really need to keep up, Missy" Sheldon said with resignation.
Missy knew something was wrong with her twin. She kept up on his career, including his fluke with the new element and knew that he was having other issues at work. She knew when she didn't his typical high horse response that it was more than a career thing. Wanting to confirm her suspicion, she pressed further.
"So, how's Amy?"
"She's in Michigan for the summer. She was offered an opportunity to assist at another university" Sheldon said barely hiding the tears from falling from his eyes.
Missy heard the catch in his voice. 'Yep, that's it'. She knew she was pressing her luck, but continued. "So when is she coming home?"
Sheldon's control broke. "I don't know, Melissa! She's very busy! Now, can we please change the subject since my relationship with Amy is none of your business"
"Of course, Sheldon" Missy answered quietly. He had called her by her real name only a handful of times, mostly when he was upset at her. "We'll be at Momma's shortly. Meemaw waited up for you"
Sheldon heard her call him by his real name and felt a moment of guilt. She only called him that when she was mad at him or as he realized later in life when he hurt her feelings. He knew he should apologize and he would…..later, but right now, he just needed his Meemaw.
For the next seven days, he spent his time in his room checking Amy's Facebook page or looking up various neuroscience items, including seeing the program guide for CMU. When not in his room, he would wander out around his family's property to the places where he would hide away from his world of bullies and arguments as a child.
He had to dodge his mother's interrogations every day about where he went and what he did during his time away from Pasadena. She would ask about Amy, but he kept his answers as simple as he could. More than once she asked if they had 'sinned' and each time, he cut the conversation short. He didn't want to sass his mother since she was guilty of the same thing, but it was getting harder to avoid.
He thought a great deal about his future. String theory had been what fed him for over twenty years. It was also what saved him more than once during his childhood. When the taunting of bullies and occasionally his siblings and family got to be too much, he could forget for a while by immersing himself in physics. If not physics, then the stories of the Flash and the other heroes of the Justice League who overcame the odds to always save the day.
He would think of his parents. There was love there in the beginning, he was sure. But by the time his father died, whatever love was there disintegrated into an amalgam of anger and bitterness. His parents buried themselves in their own comforts. His father with booze and adultery. His mother with her church.
He remembered the fights he would hear in the middle of the night, the screaming, the sound of objects being broken, the angry words. He remembered his mother's passive aggressiveness in dealing with his father's activities, including putting fecal matter into his father's tobacco. It's why he never had a pet in the home when he came to California, not until he got the clowder of cats. Recalling the cats made him recall why he got them.
Amy.
He and Amy broke up because of a stupid disagreement over their chosen fields. He knew it was an idiotic argument, but Amy challenging him stirred things inside himself that he was uncomfortable with. Physics had always been his first love and to hear it criticized was beyond insulting. It was worse when someone was able to get under his skin like that. It took his mother's disapproval to get them to get back together. He knew he wasn't to blame for anything, but when Amy offered him to take only 65% of the blame, he jumped on it without question, but at the time he didn't know why except it felt right.
He knew now. He wanted Amy in his life. The one person who really got him. Yes, he had his friends, but no one he could really be himself, except perhaps Leonard at times.
When she went on that date with Stuart, he felt things…..hippy dippy things that he didn't like. She was his intellectual equal and they had a relationship of the mind. He knew that Amy needed to surround herself with someone who could appreciate her knowledge and a comic shop owner would definitely not be it. It was Penny who really got him to see what the problem was. He was jealous. He didn't want Amy seeing other guys. He wanted to be her guy, but the thought of being physical scared him to death.
The Relationship Agreement was his way of protecting himself and be with Amy. He sensed her frustration with him more times than she realized, so he tried working on his emotional difficulties and his misophobia. He even read the book Penny and Leonard bought for him, The Joy of Sex. After his confidence in Penny and Leonard about considering a physical relationship with Amy, Penny bought him The Kama Sutra.
Reading those books gave him nightmares for a while, but after Valentine's Day, he made himself read them again. The further along he got, he found himself getting more and more frustrated when he was alone. His past reliefs of Kolinahr or the occasional self-abuse did not work anymore.
Recently before he left, he started reading pulpy Harlequin romance novels he hid underneath his bed and watched the occasional adult film on his laptop on the sly for more research. Sheldon Cooper strived to be the best at everything and physical relations were no exceptions. He never half-assed anything.
He studied hard in his coitus research. The further he got, the more often he told himself every time he saw Amy he would show her how much he loved her. However, when those times came, he wasn't able to get himself to relax enough to touch her or even say the words. Sometimes, those feelings would put him in such a panic he resorted to being what Penny would call an 'asshole' towards Amy.
The psychic told him to give himself to Amy, but hearing that completely terrorized him. He didn't want to open himself up to that chance of living his parents' life. Seeing their marriage turn into what it did was not what he wanted for himself. He just couldn't do it.
Now, he had to face the fact he might have drove her away permanently. She took off almost 2000 miles away from him because he hurt her, not her hippy dippy feelings. He did and he had to live with that.
He kept up with everyone else on Facebook and saw the pictures Penny posted of the girls' vacation with her in Michigan. He felt envy as they got to see her but he didn't. When he saw a picture Penny posted of them in Mackinac City, his insides turned to ice then red hot.
There was Penny and his Amy with their arms around a strange man with muscles and with a physique Penny would call 'hot'. He then saw Amy without her glasses and her hair shorter but with waves and couldn't help but be in awe of her beauty, but then he realized that the man's arm was around her. What made it worse was when he saw the bathing suit his girlfriend was wearing, which showed more skin that he was comfortable with. He knew what was under her layers as he saw them as he bathed her, but now others knew what he did. His Amy was stunning with curves that begged to be caressed, including her fascinating posterior.
Using Kolinahr, he got himself into some sort of control. The fact that she still communicated with him at all gave him a little hope. He wanted nothing more than to talk to her, though. Amy always knew what to say and the right thing to do. But he knew as much as he wanted to call her, he also knew he needed to get himself into a better place. He wasn't even sure if she would take his call.
He knew she would read his emails and respond with a general response about her latest academic activities, which was something. He needed to do something to show her how he felt, but what?
He felt fear rip his stomach up again as he glanced back to his laptop and saw the picture again. This time, seeing it made him do something he never thought he would do.
Silently he prayed that by the time he settled his issues that it wouldn't be too late for them. Laying down for bed, he closed his eyes but could only see his Amy in that suit and felt his pajama pants tighten.
It would be a long night for Sheldon.
One morning later on, Sheldon got up and had breakfast with his mother and Mee Maw when Mary started again.
"So have you heard from Amy?"
"Yes, she is settling in at CMU and is very busy"
They ate in silence for a few minutes before Mary started to speak again. "Shelly, I don't like this girlfriend of yours"
Sheldon almost choked on his food. "What? I thought you liked Amy"
"Well, I did, but now she's all involved in her career and her friends. I saw a picture she posted on that Facebook where those girls were posing with wine bottles. Instead of working on her relationship with you, she's gallivanting with her friends. I wouldn't be surprised if she had a boyfriend up there sinning."
Sheldon's patience broke as he threw his napkin on his plate and dropped his fork.
"Mother, I don't agree with you on the church and some of your standings, but I love you and I always will. However, I will not allow you to talk about Amy that way. She's up north to help a friend since he is on leave. I'm the one that took off on her because I didn't know what I wanted in life. If Penny, Bernadette, and Emily want to visit her, so what! Yes, she drinks wine…..big deal. She's also intelligent, kind, and generous. She deserves a lot more than what I gave her. Do not ever speak of Amy like she's some common tramp again or that conversation will be our last. Do I make myself clear?"
"Sheldon Lee Cooper, I am your mother and you will respect me"
"Not until you respect Amy Farrah Fowler. If you will excuse me, I am done with breakfast" he turned to his grandmother. "I'm sorry Mee Maw"
When Sheldon left the room, Mary turned to her mother, who was looking at her. "Mom, did you hear what—"
"Mary Louise, sometimes you just need to shut up and keep those stupid opinions to yourself" Mee Maw retorted before getting up and leaving the room.
When his grandmother found him later that afternoon, he was sitting on his bed staring at the ceiling. "Moon Pie?"
When he heard his grandmother's voice, he immediately turned to the one woman in his family he could really relax with. "Yes Mee Maw?"
"Let's take a walk"
"I'm not really up for walking right now, Mee Maw. Besides, it's supposed to rain."
His grandmother walked with her cane with determination belying her almost eighty years. When she reached his bed, she looked down with a face that Sheldon knew as her "mean" face. "It was not a request, Moon Pie. I'll wait for you downstairs"
As he watched the elderly woman walk slowly out of the room, Sheldon had a feeling he wouldn't like what she had to talk about. He also knew that to disobey Mee Maw was not a good idea.
He got himself out of bed and quickly cleaned up. When done, he went downstairs where his mother was knitting and his brother was watching a football game.
"Hey it's Smelly. How's it going with your string stuff?" George Junior asked with a snicker.
"That's enough Junior" Mary said without taking her eyes off her knitting before looking up to her younger son. "Mee Maw is waiting on the porch for you"
"Thank you" he replied stiffly.
He walked out to his grandmother, who was finishing her glass of lemonade. She set her glass down and the two walked off the porch and headed towards the back acres of the property. The skies were gray and ashen. Sheldon hoped that they would be back before it rained.
"So, Shelly, it seems you are at a crossroads right now. Found any answers yet?"
"No Mee Maw. String Theory is all I've ever known. I want to do something else, but the university won't let me. I don't know what else to do"
"What about Amy?"
"What about her?"
Mee Maw stopped walking. "Young man, I know you have been reading either her Facebook or those brain articles on the internet. More than once when I walked by you were looking at that website where she is right now. She's up north, right?"
"Michigan" Sheldon muttered. "I'm always researching new programs—"
"Don't you lie to me Sheldon Lee Cooper. You're missing your girl. Now I've given you your space and not pestered you with questions or brainless comments like your momma has, but I'm tired of seeing you mope around these parts. You're going to tell me what happened and you're going to do it right now. It's just us"
She pointed to a nearby tree with the tire swing he played on when he was a kid. His grandmother sat on a nearby stump and after seeing the standing water in the tire sat on the ground. He tried to forget that he was sitting on germ-contaminated dirt, but he wouldn't make his Mee Maw sit on the dirty ground.
He told her everything about what had happened in the last few months with his career and in his relationship with Amy. He would watch his grandmother's face laugh at some parts and nod at others. When he finished with their last argument before getting on the train, he got smacked upside the head. "Ow, Mee Maw! That hurt!"
"Good, maybe that will knock some sense into that skull of yours. You were gifted with an intelligence that few have obtained from the man upstairs"
"Jesus did not—" Sheldon started but was silenced by the dirty look he got from his grandmother. "My apologies. Please continue"
"You advanced far beyond your years in many things, but there are some things you're still just a baby on, Moon Pie. Why are you afraid of this girl? From what I have heard of her from you, she is very patient and obviously loves you warts and all"
"I'm not afraid of Amy and I do not have warts. Mee Maw, that just…..it's just…..wrong"
Mee Maw had a hunch and decided to play it. "Remember when you were a child and sometimes you, Missy, and Junior would stay with me and Pop Pop some nights"
"Yeah because Momma had to take Daddy home from the tavern or they were fighting. I didn't like it when they were fighting"
"No one likes fighting, Moon Pie. Your parents had love, they really did. They didn't handle things the way they should and I let them both know that. People also were not always nice to you when you were younger. There was nothing wrong with you. They just didn't understand how special you were"
Mee Maw shifted on the stump. "Sheldon, East Texas was not meant for you. You've done good out in California. Yes I know your Momma thinks it's a place for sin, but everybody has to find their own way. Missy found herself a softheaded but loving husband and now has a family. Junior…..well, he's just Junior. Unfortunately that is a case of an apple not falling too far from the tree"
"What do I do Mee Maw?"
The elderly woman looked at her favorite grandchild and told him with as much love as she could. "Moon Pie, shit or get off the pot"
Sheldon's eyes bulged. "Mee Maw!"
"Moon Pie! To quote your Pop Pop, you done shit in your nest!"
"What does that mean?"
"It means that you need to get your big boy britches on, figure out what to do with your life, and that you messed up with your Amy. Messed up good. That psychic lady tried to tell you"
"Psychics are frauds, Mee Maw"
"Not always, Moon Pie. She told you and now I'm telling you, you want to figure out what to do with your life and career, you go make up with your Amy. Have you talked to her?"
"We email"
Sheldon saw the look on her face and knew his grandmother was right, but was afraid. "Make up with Amy? I can't even figure out what to do about my career. Do I continue with string theory or possibly go to another university to study something different?" Then he voiced what he feared most. "Mee Maw, what if she doesn't want me anymore?"
The elderly woman got up off the tree stump and stood up on her walking stick. "Well then, you learned a valuable lesson in life about taking people for granted. Things with Pop Pop weren't always perfect. Sometimes they were downright rotten like the stink from a chicken coop, but I treasured every day I had with him. People like him didn't grow on trees, but I got lucky. Something tells me Amy will be the same way for you"
She walked up to her grandson who was lifting himself off the ground while brushing the dirt off his rear end. "I want you to think about what I said. No matter what you decide, you're always going to be my Moon Pie"
Sheldon hugged his grandmother. "Thank you, Mee Maw"
"You're welcome. Now come on, my daughter will have supper coming soon and we both know how she gets when it's served late. By the way, she will be apologizing for her stupidity this morning before bed."
Sheldon acknowledge this with a nod. If Mee Maw says it will happen, then it will. The two walked back towards the house. The clouds that covered the sky earlier were parting and a peek of the magnificent Texas blue sky began to come through.