A/N: Hey guys! Oh my God, over 600 reviews, you guys really are the best! So happy right now :') Thanks to all of you for continuing to support these stories, it really means a lot. Time for some good old Greg angst now and brotherly Nick as 9Laura8 suggested Greg feeling the urge to take drugs. Gunna be a 2 parter! Hope you enjoy :)

Summary – Greg is feeling depressed, and under goes some dark urges when he and Nick come across a box full of drugs at their crime scene...

Depressed Urges

It was strange to see Greg looking so melancholy. Nick shot the young man a worried look as he drove them to the crime scene. Greg hadn't been himself since the hearing a couple of days ago. He had been cleared; everyone knew that Greg didn't kill Demetrius James on purpose, that he was totally justified in his act of self-defence – well, everyone seemed to know that except Greg himself.

Still being hounded by reporters and supporters of the James', Greg was not able to let things lay, and he was constantly being reminded of possibly the most traumatic event of his life thus far. Greg was seeing a therapist, but she didn't really understand. How could she? She'd never been through anything like this personally.

Nick would probably understand. As far as Greg was concerned what his older friend went through being buried alive was a lot worse, but Greg was too scared to ask - it was very personal and he didn't want to upset Nick by bringing up memoires. So, the youngest CSI went along suffering in silence, he kept to himself, and tried to carry on as much as possible.

"You okay, buddy?" Nick asked concernedly; Greg had just been staring out the window for the past 20 minutes.

"Yeah, I'm fine" Greg mumbled in response; he didn't even turn around.

Nick sighed "You know, if something is bothering you, you can tell me, right? Anything at all" the Texan said encouragingly. "I'm worried about you" he confessed.

"Mmm" was Greg's only response, and Nick took this as a sign that Greg did want to share something, he just didn't know how.

After that, Nick decided to drop it, hoping that Greg would talk to him when he was ready – he wouldn't push the younger man with such private thoughts.

The CSIs finally arrived at the club where two young men had been found dead in the restroom due to a drug overdose.

"Where do you want to start?" Nick asked, desperate to Greg get to talk – it wasn't natural, Greg being so silent.

"I'll take the bodies" Greg replied with little enthusiasm before putting his kit down and pulling out some gloves.

Nick sighed with dismay and went to study the rest of the restroom.

Greg looked down at the young boys with sympathy – they clearly hadn't known what they'd been doing to themselves. He picked up the arm of the first boy and delicately traced the track mark with his thumb. He wondered what it felt like. He bet the high felt pretty amazing, like you could do anything in the world and not give a damn. Greg thought he'd like to feel that way; that he'd like to feel something…anything…he was so sick of being numb.

Back when he was a teenager, Greg had thought about taking drugs just because he thought it would make him cooler and people would stop bullying him. Plus, it would be a good way to rebel against his over protective mother. But, Greg had realised that he shouldn't be forced to be someone he wasn't, just because people thought he was strange. He was Greg Sanders, and if they didn't like that then screw them.

However, lately Greg Sanders had become a hollow shell of his former self; he believed he didn't care what other people thought of him until they thought he was a murderer, and now Greg was having a hard time not thinking that himself. He'd taken a life, one of a boy who was barely of age, and he could tell himself it was self-defence – his friends insisted on that too – but deep down, Greg knew that he was guilty of something; something which would haunt him forever.

"Hey, check this out" Nick's voice broke Greg from his troubled thoughts. "I found this inside one of the toilet tanks" he explained as he showed Greg a box of syringes "I think they're full of heroin" he mused.

"There must have been someone dealing then" Greg suggested "These guys don't look like frequent users though"

Nick looked at the bodies sadly and shook his head "They were just kids"

So was Demetrius James; Greg thought to himself as he stood up. "Let's just get this over with" the young CSI mumbled "I don't want to be here longer than we have to"

Nick yet again gave his friend a worried frown before nodding and going back to work.

Nick and Greg arrived back at the lab an hour later to process their evidence.

"Do you mind going to autopsy alone?" Greg asked "It's just I…" he paused.

"It's okay, I understand, I don't mind" Nick said giving him smile; he of all people knew what it was like when a case got to you.

"Thanks, I'll get started on the evidence" Greg told him and they went their separate ways.

Greg took the box of drug filled needles and other items of interest into the light room. He took each syringe out one by one, running his fingers slowly up and down the sharp needle. He determined each one was unused, and the needles seemed clean; this was no cheap knockoff , this was real deal heroin.

The CSI studied the liquid in the syringe for a good couple of minutes. His mind was starting to wonder again and Greg couldn't help but sense like he was being taunted a little; the way the drug was just there, right in front of him, tempting him to give it a try, daring him to feel again. In the back of his mind, Greg's conscience was telling him to stop being so stupid, and that he knew what he was thinking was wrong. But he was ignoring that voice now; that voice had been the one to tell him to hit the gas pedal to save himself and Stanley Tanner, and look what a huge ordeal that had made.

Greg looked up at the glass wall to make sure no one was walking by before quickly stuffing one of the syringes in the pocket of the lab coat – he felt somewhat of a thrill already; people thought he was a criminal anyway, so why not.

He was just so desperate to find a release without having to offload to his friends and become a burden. He thought about what Nick said about going to him if he needed too, but Greg didn't want to do that, Nick had had enough troubles over the years without worrying about Greg too.

Greg didn't know if he could wait until the end of shift with the dark secret hidden in his pocket, so he thought about leaving as quickly as possible. He shouldn't tell Nick where he was going otherwise the older man would get suspicious. He would just leave, and not look back, not think about the consequences until he woke up the next morning – possibly in a hospital bed…possibly not at all…

Shoving his hands in his pockets – rubbing the syringe around in his fingers as he did so – Greg left the room as inconspicuously as possible and headed towards the locker room.

"Hey, Greg!" a voice called and the CSI let out a huff of frustration before turning around with a fake smile plastered on his face; It was Warrick. "You're working that drug case with Nick, right?" he asked flicking through a file.

"Well, I was" Greg said.

"Was?" Warrick frowned.

"Yeah I erm…I'm going home" Greg told him looking at his feet and shuffling them awkwardly.

"Oh…why?" Warrick asked.

"I don't feel good, okay!" Greg snapped defensively "Can't I do anything without being accused of something anymore!"

"Whoa, okay man, I'm sorry" Warrick said raising a hand in surrender "I was just asking"

"Whatever" Greg said with a roll of his eyes before walking away.

Warrick watched the younger CSI leave with an incredulous look; what the heck had gotten into that guy? Annoyed at being yelled at, but also worried about his younger friend, Warrick went to find Nick to see if he had any explanation.

Once Nick had finished up in autopsy, he headed to the light room where he thought Greg was processing evidence. He was surprised to get there to find the evidence all laid out in Greg's usual organised fashion, yet the young man himself was missing. Just as Nick was about to go search somewhere else, Warrick entered the room looking just as confused and slightly troubled.

"Do you know what the hell is up with Greg today?" the older CSI asked.

"Erm…not really" Nick responded, wishing he knew himself "He seems really effected by this case we're working"

"Two boys with the drug overdose?" Warrick checked; Nick nodded. "Do you think he knew someone who died because of drugs?" Warrick suggested.

"Maybe" Nick said and bit his bottom lip in a thoughtful manner "Although Greg hasn't really been himself since the hearing"

Warrick sighed "Kid still thinks it's his fault, huh?" he said with a shake of his head; the whole concept seemed ridiculous.

"Yeah, but I don't know what to do to prove to him it's not" Nick said "He won't even talk about it"

"Well, maybe he just needs some time" Warrick deliberated.

Nick sighed dejectedly "I guess…I just wish there was more we could do for him, it just doesn't seem like getting him off the hook for murder was enough"

He didn't mean that as in Greg was ungrateful for their work, but Nick knew that even though the court case was over with, the aftermath of what happened to Greg could potentially go on for months, years, and Nick just wished he had some way of protecting his younger brother from that.

"I know" Warrick said just as disappointed "But I'm sure that Greg will come to us when he's ready" he added reassuringly.

"Yeah, I hope so" Nick replied "Do you know where he is, anyway?"

"Well, he quite snappily told me that he was heading home because he didn't feel too good" Warrick informed his friend "I didn't really buy it, but the kid was just so worked up I figured he could use his space"

"Right, okay, I guess I'll have to cover for him" Nick said "Wanna help?"

"Sure, I was just trying to tell Greg I think our cases are connected anyways" Warrick said.

"Why, what did you find?" Nick asked.

"Similar thing as you, two young boys found dead in the nightclub bathroom, track marks and a box full of needles hidden in one of the tanks" Warrick reported.

Nick nodded "Okay well I got twenty needles…" he trailed off as he looked at the table and frowned.

"What's up?" Warrick questioned his friend's perplexed look.

Nick's lips moved slightly as he silently counted the needles "There are only nineteen needles here" he said "I swear to God there was twenty"

"Maybe you counted wrong the first time" Warrick suggested "It wouldn't be like you or Greg to misplace evidence"

"No…" Nick trailed off.

And then it hit him, like a train going at a million miles an hour. It wouldn't be like Greg to misplace evidence…which is why there maybe the chance he took it on purpose. Greg had been depressed lately, manically depressed, of course he had! Nick cursed himself for not noticing sooner. And now Greg might be about to do something stupid, something which could end his life…and maybe that's what Greg wanted.

"Shit" Nick breathed as he ran from the room.

Greg sniffed back the tears forming blobs on his jeans as he sat on his couch and rolled up his left sleeve. He sure hoped this worked; he was going to be in a lot of trouble if it didn't and he just needed to feel again.

He hoped his friends could forgive him for this as he hovered the needle over his chosen vein.

Poor Greg! Will Nick save him in time?

I wanted to explore Greg's emotions a lot in this chapter because obviously this is quite OOC for him, so I had to find a way to make his actions seem more justified. More brotherly love to come next chapter I promise!

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