A/N: I really have no excuse for this taking so long. I was just lazy. I'd sit there and be like, "Hm. I should write Illusions." And then I'd be like "Nah." Insight into the mind of Stephanie. Anyway, it's done now, and my lovely madammadhatter was very instrumental in getting it this far. She is the greatest.

Four days had passed in Tom and Goldberry's home, and the strange couple had been true to their word—Fíli and Kíli had been well cared for. Fíli seemed to be mending well, as far as Kíli could tell; then again, Fíli would not let Kíli see the wound, insisting that his interference was not necessary. After Kíli insisted, Fíli had snapped at him, and Kíli had retreated, subdued; he had had enough of Fíli's bad temper for a while, and he would rather not incite him to anger if it could be helped.

Still, he could not help himself from staying close to Fíli; the previous few weeks had been enough separation for him. For the most part, Fíli had not minded Kíli's company, as his cheerful little brother was often able to distract him from the harrowing guilt Kíli knew he still felt. He could see it in Fíli's eyes when the blond thought that he wasn't looking, or in the moments when their conversation strayed too close to what had happened. Some incidents were worse than others; sometimes, Kíli could pull Fíli out of it with a word, or a touch, or a smile; other times, it took many words or a long embrace to bring Fíli back from the throes of pain and tears.

Those were the times Kíli hated.

Besides those moments, however, Fíli was indeed on the mend, and it was time for his stitches to come out. Kíli stood beside the bed anxiously, and Fíli looked up at his little brother affectionately.

"Kíli, I will be fine," he said. "You don't need to hover."

Kíli made a small sound of protest. "I'm not hovering, I'm just—"

"Kíli," Fíli said. He smiled. "You're hovering. Don't worry about me. Go find something to do for a while. I'll be all right here."

"But—"

"Kíli, go," said Fíli. "Please stop worrying."

Kíli straightened and frowned, but secretly, he felt relieved. All this hovering and worrying was difficult; he couldn't help it, but he knew Fíli didn't like it. "All right," he said. "I'll find something to do. I'll… I'll go find Tom."

With that, he dashed out of the room. He could leave Fíli alone for a few minutes. He was in good hands with Goldberry. He would be fine.

Tom, however, was nowhere to be found. Kíli searched through the halls and in several rooms that he dared to go in; he knocked on closed doors; he even took a turn around the house, but he could not find his jolly host. With a sigh of defeat, he turned back out of the sunshine and back into the house. Surely Goldberry was done by now—maybe he could convince Fíli to play fiddles with him again.

He wandered back down the long corridor to the bedroom, taking his time; he was in no hurry. As he approached the door, he heard his brother's voice. A phrase caught his attention.

"That's why I can't tell him."

Kíli stopped and pulled himself back from the entrance, taking a few quiet steps back and listening carefully. Fíli continued to speak.

"He doesn't know how to take care of me—and he doesn't need to know. It isn't his responsibility."

Kíli frowned at these words. It was true that he didn't know how to take care of his brother, but he disagreed with Fíli about the rest. He clearly did need to know how to take care of Fíli—these past few weeks had proven so. What if Fíli got hurt again—especially if they were out alone? Who would help him?

"Can't tell him what?" said Goldberry. There was silence, and Kíli took a step closer to the door, wincing when the floorboard beneath his feet creaked slightly.

"That it hurts," said Fíli. "It still hurts—a lot. It hurts to move, to sit, to stand, to walk—even to breathe, to be quite honest. I don't want to do anything but lie still."

Kíli's mouth dropped open as the rest of him froze. Fíli had been hiding this from him? Not just a twinge here or there, or some soreness—but he could barely move? Why would he keep that a secret? Part of him was moved with pity, but another part of him burned with anger. How was he supposed to trust that Fíli would be well enough to go home if he would not tell him the truth about how he felt?

As quietly as he could, Kíli backed away from the bedroom door and snuck down the hall into the kitchen. He sat heavily in a chair at the table and folded his arms on the table, dropping his chin onto them and staring out into nothing. For a while he sat alone, brooding; eventually, Tom skipped into the kitchen, humming cheerfully—and only further fouling Kíli's mood. He continued to stare straight ahead, glowering.

"Hullo, young Kíli!" Tom cried. He slapped a hand on the young dwarf's back, and Kíli jumped and looked up sullenly at his host. Tom smiled down at him.

"What is the matter, friend?" asked Tom.

"It's Fíli," Kíli said. "He's hiding things from me. Hiding how much pain he's in."

"He does not wish to burden you," said Goldberry, emerging from the hallway. "He says it is—"

"Not my responsibility, I know," Kíli interrupted. "But how are we supposed to go home if I don't know when he'll be able to leave?" He sighed. "I hate that he thinks he has to hide the truth from me."

"Much as you have done to him," said Goldberry placidly. She watched him with calm eyes.

Speechless for a moment, Kíli stared at Goldberry with wide eyes. He stammered out, "Th-that's different. That has nothing to do with going home. I can't tell him that—the guilt would destroy him. I can't do that to him."

"Talk to him, then," said Tom. "You cannot sort out anything if you do not try."

Kíli grimaced. The idea of confronting Fíli about his lies was not appealing at all, but his concern for his brother's well-being was certainly reason enough to do it anyway. He looked back and forth between Tom and Goldberry for a moment, gathering his courage.

"All right," he said. "I'll go talk to him." He rose from his seat and made his way back to the bedroom, where Fíli sat with one hand over his healing wound. He removed it quickly as the younger dwarf entered.

"Kíli," he said casually. "I thought you were out with Tom."

"There was nothing to do," Kíli said. "How's the wound looking?"

"Fine," Fíli said. "It's healing, anyway."

Kíli nodded and sat down on his own bed. "And how's it feeling?"

"It's all right," Fíli said, avoiding Kíli's eye. "Getting better every day. In fact, I think we could start heading home soon."

Kíli eyed Fíli critically and bit his lip. Did he really want to go into this now? Kíli may have been considered the "stubborn one", but Fíli could be just as stubborn if he wanted to be. There was only one way this conversation could go.

"Are you sure?" he said.

"Of course," said Fíli. "The sooner we get home, the better. I figure we could leave tomorrow—"

"No," said Kíli.

Fíli straightened then, his gaze challenging. Kíli stared back, unfaltering; if he was to win this battle, he had to start strong. Not that anyone had ever questioned his will. He could win this.

"No?" Fíli said softly, but his voice was still every bit as challenging as his gaze.

"Definitely not tomorrow," Kíli said. "You still need to heal."

"I told you, I'm doing much better," Fíli protested. "We need to get home as soon as possible. Mum and Thorin must be worried sick."

"You're lying, Fíli," Kíli said gently. Perhaps if he didn't overreact, this would go over much better. "Please don't lie to me."

Fíli's eyes widened and his brow furrowed as he stared at his little brother. "What are you talking about?"

"Fíli, you were stabbed in the stomach. You almost died," said Kíli. "It hasn't even been a week. Do you really expect me to believe that you are well enough to take a week's journey back home?"

"Kíli," said Fíli, leaning forward. His grimace was not missed by his brother. "I don't think you realize how serious this is. We have to get back. Given the circumstances in which we left—"

"I don't care about the circumstances, Fee—I care about making sure you make it back in once piece," Kíli argued. "What is the point in making the return journey if you can barely walk?"

"I can walk," Fíli said, gaining volume. "I'll be fine. I told you, I'm getting—"

"Stop lying!" Kíli countered. "Why are you lying to me, Fíli? There is no reason—"

"I'm not—"

"I heard you, Fíli!" Kíli shouted. "I heard you talking to Goldberry. I know you're still in pain. You said it hurts even to breathe. Go on, deny it."

Fíli stared wide-eyed at Kíli, his mouth opening and closing as he stammered.

"You were listening—why would—what—"

"Yes, I was listening," said Kíli. "Fíli, I am trying to make sure you're all right."

"That's not your job," Fíli snapped.

"I heard you say that, too," said Kíli. "But I don't care what you think. You've taken care of me my whole life, and now it's my turn to do the same."

"And I'm telling you that's not your job!" Fíli shouted. "You weren't supposed to hear that. I didn't tell you for a reason, Kíli, and this is it! Now leave me alone!"

Kíli stopped talking then. He frowned, blinking rapidly, and looked at his big brother sadly.

"That's what you sounded like before," he said quietly.

It was Fíli's turn to be silent now. His chin quivered, and he looked down. The brothers sat quietly for several moments; Fíli dropped his head into his hands.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry, Kíli—I don't know what's wrong with me."

Oh, no, Kíli thought. I shouldn't have said that. Why did I say that?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…" he started, but he trailed off, watching Fíli curl onto his side, facing away from him. He sighed, his insides turning with guilt. Now you've done it. Fíli did not respond; he lay still, curled up with his face in his hands. Kíli wrung his hands.

"F-Fíli," he said, but still Fíli did not move. He pressed his lips together.

This conversation had not gone the way he wanted at all.

"At least a week."

"Tomorrow."

"That's quite a difference, Fíli."

"All right. Two days."

Kíli sighed and eyed Fíli, who stood with crossed arms and a determined visage. Kíli had let the topic drop until the next day, and still Fíli was insisting that they needed to leave right away, even though he knew that Kíli was aware of how much pain he was in. Nothing Kíli said seemed to be able to change his mind.

"Five days?" he ventured. It was worth a try.

"Kíli, you're not thinking," Fíli argued. "We have to get home."

"What difference does it make how soon that is?" Kíli countered. "What is going to change if we leave tomorrow or a week from now?"

"Our mother's peace," said Fíli evenly, his gaze severe. Kíli squirmed. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that his mother must be frantic, but he didn't want to think on it. Fíli's well-being was the priority right now.

"You always think of everyone else first," he muttered, dropping his eyes to the floor. He heard Fíli chuckle.

"That's why I'm the big brother and you're the little brat," said Fíli. "You've never had to think on such things."

Kíli sighed and looked back up at Fíli. "Three days?"

Fíli considered for a moment and then nodded. "All right. Three days."

"But if that wound is still hurting you—"

"We're going anyway."

Kíli rolled his eyes. For once, Fíli was not backing down, no matter how stubborn he was. He wondered how many battles his brother had let him win out of laziness rather than a weaker will. He had bought them three days, anyway. Hopefully that was enough time for Fíli to get a better handle on movement without pain.

The days passed quickly in the house of Tom Bombadil, with plenty of merriment and good food and drink. Tom told them many fascinating things about the world they lived in, and Kíli had wild dreams about the wonders he had been told. Fíli, too, seemed to be enjoying himself. He still had his moments of guilt, but he learned to control himself, becoming more and more like the Fíli that Kíli had always known.

Finally the day came for Fíli and Kíli to leave. Kíli watched Fíli like a hawk throughout the morning, watching for signs of unease, but Fíli was either feeling better, as he claimed, or he was getting very good at hiding his pain. They packed up their things, their packs laden with gifts of new clothing and first aid materials as well. The food had been packed away in saddlebags on the ponies Tom had offered to them.

"Just let them loose when you get home," he had said. "Tom's ponies know their way home."

Tom went with them for a while in the Old Forest, helping them to the border, and Kíli was grateful. He remembered the dark oppressiveness of this forest on his previous trek, and though Fíli tried to look calm, Kíli could see how nervous he was once he saw the wild commingling trees. The ponies took them calmly through the forest as if they were in a bright meadow; Kíli could not help but think that they were only so calm because Tom was there. He was glad Tom was there. Much as he had felt before, the darkness seemed to flee before and behind them with Tom nearby. Kíli had gotten used to this comforting presence, and he wondered and feared what it would be like once Tom said farewell.

"Here is where I leave you," said Tom as they reached the daylight at the edge of the forest. "Take care of my ponies! And may fortune be with you, sons of Durin!"

Fíli and Kíli said their farewells, thanking Tom so profusely that he laughed uproariously and told them to be on their way before they lost the sunlight. They obediently went on their way, heading for the opening in the Hedge that would bring them to Buckland; this time, they were going to take the Great East Road back home. They had no need for secrecy now.

"I feel naked," Fíli muttered as the passed the short distance between the Old Forest and the Hedge.

Kíli looked at him sidelong. "Why do you say that?"

"I've got one knife," Fíli complained. "I might as well have nothing."

"Fíli, we're going through the Shire," laughed Kíli. "What could possibly happen?"

"We won't be in the Shire once we get past Michel Delving," Fíli warned. "And then we have to head north off the Road, unless your plan was to go to the Grey Havens and sail into the West with the Elves."

Kíli curled his lip at the mention of Elves. "Of course not," he said. "But I have my bow and my sword and my own knife, and you've got yours. We'll be fine."

"We weren't fine on the way here," said Fíli quietly.

Kíli shrank and bowed his head as a wave of guilt crashed over him. If only he had not been so reckless…

"No, Kíli, I'm not blaming you," said Fíli quickly. "I'm just used to having more weapons, is all."

"It's fine," Kíli said. "Don't worry about me."

"Any other impossible tasks you'd like to ask of me today?" Fíli quipped. Kíli looked up at his brother, who was grinning slyly; Kíli chuckled, and Fíli followed suit.

"No, that should be all," he replied. They both laughed. Fíli's laugh turned into a cough, and he gripped his stomach tightly; Kíli brought his pony closer to Fíli's, concerned, but Fíli waved him off.

"It's fine," Fíli said.

"Fíli…"

"Well, not fine, but I can handle it," said Fíli. "Tom said it would hurt for a while. A long while. You can't rush to my rescue every time it hurts, Kee. You wouldn't be able to do anything else."

Kíli frowned, but he nodded. Tom had said the same to him. It was hard to watch his brother suffer, especially when it had been his fault, but at the same time, he knew—he had been told many times—that Fíli did not want to be watched over like a child. Truth be told, a part of him was relieved.

They finally approached the Hedge, and Kíli hopped off his pony and peered out into Buckland. While their journey no longer had to be a secret, it was always wise to avoid creating a stir in the Shire. Folk there would talk about any uncanny incident for weeks, months, or even years, and Kíli would hate to be one more reason for hobbits to distrust dwarves passing through their lands. Ideally, they would come out of the Old Forest without being seen by a hobbit. Once they were clear of the Hedge, they could make themselves known.

"All clear," he called to Fíli, hopping back on his pony. They passed through the gate in the Hedge without incident, as planned, and continued on their way.

"We should stop at an inn," said Fíli. "You wanted to on the way here. I think we deserve a good hobbit's brew."

"I agree," said Kíli. "But let's stop and see the Bracegirdles first. I promised Bella and Eva I would see her on the way back."

Fíli shrank in his saddle. "I'd rather not," he said. "That Adric fellow didn't seem to like us very much."

"Pah! Are you afraid of a grouchy little hobbit?" said Kíli. "Who cares what he thinks?"

"Tongues will wag," Fíli said, looking very uncomfortable. Kíli furrowed his brow.

"Once again, who cares?" he said. "The stuffy git is too worked up about his little reputation anyway. We're not staying the night—just going to say hello, maybe have a meal."

"Reputation can be important," said Fíli.

Kíli pulled his pony in front of Fíli's and stopped; Fíli was forced to halt, and he looked at Kíli, bewildered.

"What is the real problem, Fíli?" said Kíli.

"I just told you," Fíli said, looking away. He moved to lead his pony around his brother, but Kíli just got in his way again. Fíli looked up at his brother, his eyes flashing.

"You're being awfully pushy lately," he said. "What's come over you?"

"It's more about what has come over you," Kíli replied. "Fíli, you can't hide from everyone forever. You have to face people. Talk to people. You have to move on. You're… you're letting what has happened in the past control you."

"Wise words," Fíli muttered, still avoiding Kíli's eye.

"Mum's said it before—about Uncle," said Kíli. "She said he lets the past control him, too. And you've seen how he can get. Please, Fíli… don't turn into that."

"Don't speak like that about Thorin," Fíli snapped. "He deserves our respect. He does the best he can."

"All the same, Mum's right," Kíli argued. "You may want to deny it, but you have seen the sadness in her eyes, too. Are you going to do that to her, too? To me?"

Fíli frowned, his eyes wide and focused on Kíli now. Kíli thought he saw his chin quiver.

"I…" he said, trailing off. He sniffed. "I'm just… so…" He stopped and looked down.

"So what?" said Kíli.

"I'm ashamed, Kíli," Fíli said, his voice cracking. "What I've done… what I've said… how people have seen me… they're going to remember that." His voice trailed off into a tearful whisper. "I'm so ashamed. I just want to hide away and never come out again."

Kíli blinked. Now you've done it again, he told himself. What are you going to do now?

"Fíli, it's just a couple of hobbits," he said. "Consider it a practice run. Before we get home. What do you say?"

Fíli shook his head, and Kíli sighed.

"Come on, Fee," he said. "If anyone is going to be kind and accepting, it's Bella and Eva Bracegirdle. They're the least of your worries, honestly. They'll be happy to see you."

After a long moment's deliberation, Fíli sighed deeply and nodded. "All right," he said to the ground. "Let's go, then."

Kíli grinned proudly and pulled his pony back into the lead, feeling an overwhelming urge to give his brother a hug.

And so ends the chapter that should have been titled "In which Fíli and Kíli bicker about everything."

A few things! Some people still seem to be getting confused! Yes, I will continue this fic. No, I will not abandon this fic. No, this is not the end. I will tell you when the end comes, and if I don't say so, you can safely assume that I WILL be continuing the story. That's a promise.

Secondly, I very much appreciate reviews, even ones with negative comments. One thing I would LOVE, though, is that if you're going to leave constructive criticism or say something negative, that you say it while logged in! A huge part of the writing process for me is taking every little bit of criticism into account, and I really want to discuss with you the things that you've brought up. A few guests reviewed with some negative feedback in the past couple of chapters, and I was sad because I can't PM guests and talk about it. I want positive AND negative feedback, but negative feedback is often much more constructive and therefore extremely useful to me. Please let me talk to you about it!

Thirdly, my tumblr bff Mhyin is doing commissions so go pay her to do arts for you. Info is on her tumblr.

As always, please review! And yes, we will be seeing Thorin and Dís soon. You don't need to ask.