A/N: So, I was actually fighting off some writer's block after the intensity that was Chapter 9. I usually do that by immersing myself in the characters again, so that I can get back into the right mind-set. Everything for this chapter I wrote at first was… despicable.
Anyway, on my search, I found a cute little generic image of Daryl and Beth fleeing the funeral home. The funniest part was the comment of the girl who posted it, though; she wrote: "It woulda been real hard for me to lose Daryl… Ida been attached to his face." I thought that was humorous, so I thought I'd share that with all of you. It's probably the truth for most of us, anyway. Tell it like it is!
Anywho, I needed to put a little disclaimer in here, for anyone who hasn't realized it yet, but I changed the rating for this story from T to M, because we're going to get into some more adult situations, and I really wasn't sure where the line for that was drawn. So I figured I'd be better off just setting the rating too high at M, rather than chance offending someone as a "T" and getting the story ripped off of the site.
So, there will be some violence in future chapters. If you're sensitive to that sort of thing, and feel like it would bother you too much to read it, then please use your best personal judgment and proceed through the rest of the story with caution.
[I make no promises as to the great execution of said chapters, as I'm not really sure how well I manage to write "violence," this being my first publically released story… so I guess we'll all just have to wait and be surprised together. I will warn you, though, that I love writing that moves people, and I really want to do my best to write in the same manner. If I'm writing something sweet, I want people to melt. When I write something funny, I want people to laugh. When I write something darker… well, I'm going to do my best to inflict the appropriate emotions into those chapters, too. So, yeah.. let's have some fun!]
As always, the reviews have been awesome! I had a few guest reviews that were flattering, and mhustler wrote a perfect line for how I'm feeling about the story, too: "I'm a sucker for fluff but I do enjoy angst." I will be honest, I haven't decided which way this thing is going. Maybe if I try really hard, we'll have a good mixture of both. So far, I haven't been able to imagine Daryl particularly fluffy, though, so we'll wait and see. Another guest reviewer, Dragon, threw muses at me after the last chapter, and about 2 in the morning, they kicked in full-force, and I'm so excited for what I have planned to write for future chapters.
I appreciate everyone who has taken the time to translate the story into their own language and then left comments- that's so flattering! I'm glad the story is translating over well. I have a couple of repeat reviewers that I always enjoy reading: olicitySpain, thePaperPalace, Atilia Dawn Black, Summers Rage, .mightier, TheGoldenElf, ruger33, Kerbella, megs27- so thank you, you guys rock! [I'm also sorry if I left anyone out. I read every review, and I love them all. It has just been so busy over the holidays..!] I even love the ones that're just like "What? NOoOoOo!" Because then I know that I'm going in unexpected directions ;)
Anyway, sorry for the long Author's Note. I'll keep them shorter from now on. I'm just sorry about how long this chapter took to get out to you. It was a hard one to write. Anyway, enjoy the build-up..!
Chapter 10
After Beth's return to the bar, it had been apparent to everyone else that the evening's festivities were over. When Oscar had asked about Daryl, Beth only told him that Daryl had needed some fresh air, and would probably be waiting by the truck. As everyone said their goodbyes to one another, Beth steered clear of Steven, really not wanting to end the night on more than one bad note. Something about the way he looked at her made her skin crawl. He reminded her of Zach.
As they exited the bar, Beth scanned the surrounding area for any sign of Daryl coming back to redeem himself, but wasn't surprised when they made it to Lori's car without sight of him. Carol, who didn't seem to ever drink, smiled as Lori handed the keys over, and they all piled into the car. Sasha's friend, Tara, had meet them at the bar, but decided to stay the night at Sasha's rather than drive herself home, since she'd been doing shots with the rest of them. Beth was glad to get a window seat so that she could lean her forehead against the cold glass and stare out at the passing car lights and street lamps as they made their way back to Lori's. Sasha wordlessly put her hand in Beth's, and even though no one asked about what had happened when Beth had gone after Daryl, they had probably seen the evidence of it written all over her face when she returned.
She hadn't appreciated him yelling at her, but she was mostly just saddened by what he'd blurted out in his drunken rage. All of the stuff about his childhood and family life came as no surprise; only a depressing confirmation that for his whole life, he'd been treated as badly as she'd suspected. He didn't think he deserved to be happy, that much she knew. It's even possible that he didn't really know how to be happy. For some people, joy and contentment were elusive to them throughout their entire lives.
In her anger, she'd accused him of being afraid. She recalled the way he got in her face, reflecting on how his blue eyes had blazed as he'd yelled, "I ain't afraid o' nothin'!"
But he was. He was scared of letting people in, of being vulnerable, and even possibly afraid of having someone care about him. His ridiculous need to keep himself pressed down into the mud made her angry, too, though; whether he liked it or not, she already cared about him, and his crazy internal conflict between having feelings for her and trying not to give a shit at all was indeed giving her whiplash.
Stubborn jerk, she thought to herself.
Carol pulled the car into Lori's driveway and they all climbed out, cursing the cold October night.
They all gathered around for goodbyes, no one too keen on what to say, so Beth spoke first to break the tension. "Well, that was a fun night; for the most part."
She grinned as a couple of the girls laughed, looking relieved that she didn't seem to be too worse for wear. If Beth Greene was indeed good at something, it was not inflicting her troubles onto other people. There was no need to add unnecessary tension into their fun Halloween night out by telling them exactly what had happened outside the bar. After all, Daryl Dixon hadn't ripped his heart out of his chest and angrily pitched it at any of them.
"Well, Tara is just going to crash at my place, so we're going to get started walking there before we freeze," Sasha said, pointing in the direction of her house.
"It's too cold," Carol said softly, "I'll drop you off on my way home. It's not out of the way."
"Thank you," Tara said, smiling as she shifted from foot to foot and huddled further into her jacket.
Lori smiled, hugging Beth, and said, "This was really fun. It was nice to get out of the house and do something different."
They all murmured in agreement as they gave each other quick hugs, saying their goodbyes. Lori waved at them all a final time as she made her way up to her house, while Sasha and Tara climbed into Carol's car.
"Beth, you shouldn't be driving either," Carol said. "Get in; I'll drop you off, too."
Smiling, Beth bestowed Carol with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Did I ever tell you how amazing you look in the color red? That blouse suits you."
Shyly, Carol smiled and nodded, looking at the ground in her embarrassment. "You've said that twenty times already tonight. Ed would be furious if he saw me in this, though. Do you… do you mind if I change when I get to your house?"
Beth hated that Carol was married to a man who didn't appreciate his wife looking pretty. Whether it was just a way to control her, or because he was that insanely jealous and petty, Beth wasn't sure, but she didn't like it one bit. However, Beth knew that for now, trying to turn Carol against Ed and show her how bad he was for her would only backfire and possibly cause Carol to retreat from their friendship. So, for tonight, Beth let the comment slide as she smiled at Carol warmly. "Of course you can."
Just then, headlights blinded them as a car pulled into Lori's driveway, blocking in both Lori and Carol's cars. Carol and Beth both shielded their eyes as the driver got out of the car and began walking towards them, not bothering to turn off his lights. Finally, he got close enough that his body blocked out the beams enough to see his face.
Carol gasped and retreated back a few steps, while Beth stood there lamely, waiting for the man to say something.
"Ed," Carol squeaked out, as she braced her hand against the hood of her car. She looked ready to fall over from the shock of seeing him. Beth turned back and gave Carol's elusive husband a once-over. He was fairly heavy, sporting double chins and a beer gut that bespoke of evenings in front of the television plowing down cold one after cold one. His hair was thinning on the top of his head, and his eyes were devoid of warmth as he stared at his wife. As Beth looked on, he even seemed to get angrier; his nostrils flared and his lips curled up in disgust.
"Wha' the fuck are you wearin'?" he said loudly, moving around Beth to make a grab at Carol.
"Hey," Beth said, backing up to be beside Carol, holding her hands up. She knew the situation needed defusing, and quickly, but the alcohol was still buzzing through her veins and her thoughts were fuzzy.
Carol had begun crying, and stuttering, clenching her jacket closed over the blouse as though it'd help him forget what he'd already seen.
"You fucken' lie about bein' at that bitch's house, an' then I come over here to fin' you out on the fuckin' town dressed like a goddamn hooker?!" He grabbed her arm and shook her as she cried out at his grip. Sasha and Tara were out of the car by then, shouting at him to let her go. Beth pulled on his sleeve, telling him to release Carol's arm, when suddenly, his other hand came out of nowhere and cracked across Carol's cheek. The slap seemed to echo in the night air before all hell broke loose. As Tara took off across Lori's front lawn, Sasha ran around from the other side of the car, screaming as Ed continued yelling and shaking Carol, spittle flying from his mouth.
Try as she might, Beth couldn't pry his large, meaty hand from around Carol's arm. Carol was crying and hysterical, wailing at Beth to leave. Ed finally swung his arm out, shoving Beth away from them, where she uncoordinatedly fell to the ground on her rump. He grabbed Carol again, jerking her away from her car and flinging her in the direction of his headlights. She lost her footing and fell to the ground on her hands and knees. Ed strode forward and arced his foot back like he was preparing to kick her, so Beth wrapped both of her arms around his ankle and held on. Ed lost his balance and brought his foot down to steady himself, his boot heel landing sharply on her shin, causing her to yelp in pain and release him.
As he regained his footing and turned on her, Beth attempted to get onto her own feet in case he attacked. She'd barely made it to one knee when he grabbed a fistful of hair on the top of her head in one hand, and punched her in the face with his other. He swung at her again, but Beth raised her arms to defend herself and his fist connected with the thicker part of her forearm, sending a jolt of pain through her bones.
Then he released her, and she fell backwards against the car, dizzy and dazed. Sasha was at her side in an instant, yelling hysterically and shaking her. Beth got her eyes open, but all she could see were blurry splotches of color for a few seconds. The lights from Ed's car had been blinding her against the darkness to begin with, and the hit to her face had left her reeling. Then she realized Lori's house was bathed in red light, then blue, then back to red.
She sat up with Sasha's help and turned to look in the direction of the lights, where she spotted three cop cars sprinkled diagonally in the street in front of Lori's house, and one pulled right up behind Ed's car, blocking him in. Lori's husband, Rick, rose to his feet from where he'd been speaking to Carol and Lori, and made his way over to Beth next. Beyond him, Beth could see two police officers pinning Ed to the ground on his stomach, cuffing him and reading him his rights.
Rick knelt down in front of Beth and lifted her chin up to inspect her face. "Ms. Greene, are you alright? How are you feeling?" He asked, bringing out a flashlight to shine into her eyes one at a time.
"Like I've been punched in the face," she replied, smirking a little. Sasha let out a sound that was part laugh, part sob, and threw her arms around Beth's neck.
Rick quirked a lip, but it didn't reach his eyes. It wasn't really a joking matter, Beth realized. She was just too damn drunk to really grasp it all; even the pain in her face, shin, and arm were barely registering.
"Can you tell me what day it is?" he asked, frowning into her open eyes with that damned pen flashlight.
"Halloween," she said simply.
"How about the day of the week?" he asked, turning his light off finally.
"Mmm.. Thursday," she said.
"Well, I think you're alright, but you might have a mild concussion. I'll have the ambulance guys take a look at you for sure. After that, we'll get a statement, is that alright?"
She nodded, and Rick patted her on the shoulder before standing up to talk to one of the officers that'd stuffed Ed in the back of the police cruiser.
Beth stood up and Sasha walked with her over to where Lori and Carol were still crouched on the ground. Carol looked up at them with tears still streaming down her face. She covered her mouth with one hand and said, "Oh, Beth! Your face…"
Still dizzy, Beth sat down next to her, and she laid her head on Carol's shoulder. Carol held Beth's hand in her own and asked quietly, "Beth, why on earth would you do a thing like that? You shouldn't have gotten in the middle of it. This was between Ed and myself."
"Your husband has no right to hit you," Beth said, looking Carol in the eye. "Besides, I pressured you into wearing the red blouse when you didn't want to, knowing Ed would hate it. I'm as much to blame as you are for what happened."
"None of this was your fault," Carol said softly.
"Or yours," Beth pointed out, firmly but gently. "This was all Ed."
Carol looked away from Beth, and though she could tell Carol didn't quite believe her, she didn't disagree, either. It was a good sign.
Once the ambulance got there and checked the girls out, Rick got the witness statements from everyone concerning the incident.
"Do you want to press charges?" He asked Beth after she'd given him her account. She looked over at Carol, who was leaned against her car next to Lori, twisting her wedding band around on her finger.
"Look, I'll be holding him in jail for a few days for other things; drunk driving, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest, to name a few. You have some time to decide," he told her softly as she continued to stare at Carol. She nodded and thanked him, promising to let him know what she decided.
Finally, all of the cops pulled away, except for Rick, who had been close enough to the end of his shift that he opted to just cut out an hour early and stay home with Lori, who was still shaken by the confrontation in her front yard.
"Come home with me," Beth said, turning to Carol.
"No, I couldn't," Carol said softly.
"It'll be good for both of us. Ed will be locked away for a few days, and Sophie is at a friend's house anyway. You'd just be all alone. Come stay at my place for a few nights."
Carol frowned, looking back at Ed's abandoned car, which had been re-parked in the street so that the driveway was clear again.
"Let's drop the girls off, grab some things from your place, and we can come back for my Jeep in the morning. What do you say?" Beth asked, smiling at Carol.
At last, Carol nodded, and they all climbed back into her car.
As Beth suggested, dropping Sasha and Tara off had been the first stop on their route, followed by a quick stop at Carol's to gather her overnight things. Then, they finally made it to Beth's cabin.
"Make yourself at home," Beth told Carol as she pulled her bomber jacket off and hung it on a hook near the door. "The bathroom is that door off to your right."
Beth went into the kitchen to get a pot of tea started on the stove before heading into her room to change. After throwing on a loose sweatshirt and a pair of yoga pants, she went into her small bathroom to wash her face of the Catwoman make-up. She felt like it had been so long ago since she'd last been in there; drawing on her whiskers and nose, excited for a fun Halloween night out.
But when she flipped the lights on, she flinched at the image in the mirror. While it felt like time had marched quickly forward, the girl staring back at her was a ghost from her past.
Her face was already beginning to show signs of a purple, splotchy bruise that would most likely only get darker and worse before beginning to heal. Although Ed's fist had luckily been beefy enough to only catch her on the eyebrow and cheekbone, sparing most of her eyeball from the impact, the white of her eye was still mildly bloodshot. She pressed her fingers into the swelling next to her eye and hissed at the pain.
"Long time, no see," she mumbled at the reflection in the mirror. She stared at it a second longer, waiting for the girl to say or do something, but the only remained a mirrored ghost of the Beth of now.
She managed to wash the remaining make-up off of her face without looking back into the mirror, before exiting the bathroom without a second glance.
Beth paused at the entrance to the living room, watching as Carol ran her fingers along one of the soft throw pillows perched on the couch, and looking from photo to photo of what Beth had hanging in frames on her walls.
"Would you like some tea?" she asked the older woman.
Carol started a little, clearly absorbed in her own thoughts, but then nodded politely at Beth's offer. Beth noticed Carol's cheek was swollen, too, from where Ed had slapped her. She wasn't any worse for wear, though, and Beth was impressed with Carol's resilience and fortitude. The woman was a survivor, she'd give her that.
Carol sat at Beth's round kitchen table as Beth poured them each a mismatched mug of hot green tea. After Beth took her seat, they both sat in companionable silence, sipping their tea and contemplating the evening's turn of events.
To Beth's surprise, Carol was the first to break their silence with a small chuckle.
"You must think I'm such an idiot," Carol said, shaking her head and staring into the depths of her mug.
"No," Beth said simple, resting her chin on the knee she had bent to her chest.
Carol looked at her in doubt.
"You're kind-hearted, sympathetic, forgiving; but certainly not an idiot."
Carol said nothing, but when she looked away, Beth could see the tears shimmering, unshed, in her blue eyes. She was listening, at least.
So, Beth took a breath and continued.
"I lived on a farm when I was a girl," she told Carol, finally starting to feel sober and balanced. "My father loved that farm, but after my mother passed away, the place brought him only sadness. He'd loved my momma so much; he'd have gone to the ends of the earth to search something out, just as long as it put a smile on her face. After she died, daddy decided he needed more female influence for my sister, Maggie, and I.
He opened his own veterinary clinic when we got there, and shortly after that, he met my step-momma. She had a boy only slighter older than Maggie and had also lost her husband, so I think they bonded over that.
My daddy loved her very much, too, and always told me, 'you should always leave enough room in your heart for the people who matter to you the most, because more will come along when you least expect it.'
My older sister had always been the strongest of us; over-protective and bossy. No matter how old we got, she kept me feeling like the baby of the family. So, when I got accepted into a widely accredited advertising program at a University in Chicago, I jumped at the chance to be independent."
She paused to take a sip of tea and gauge how much Carol was really interested in listening to her story, but Carol smiled encouragingly for her to continue.
"Everything was going well for awhile. A couple of months out of college, I'd been out with some friends and we got approached by this really handsome guy. We talked, and he made me laugh. He was so charming, Carol. By the end of the night, he was all I could think about, and I was ecstatic the following day when he called me, just like he said he would. He took me on nice dates, and before long, we were exclusive. My friends loved him and he was everything I thought my daddy and Mags would want for me. Zach was educated, earned a good living, clean, took care of his apartment and his car, took me out on thoughtfully planned-out dates, and bought be little gifts here and there. I thought he might've been 'The One,' until about 6 months into our relationship, when everything changed.
I'd gone full-time with my company by then, and my office days had turned into office nights, which had had sometimes stretched into office weekends, as well. We began to fight over my lack of availability; he was angry that I didn't have him constantly as my priority number 1.
Then he got the idea in his head that maybe there was someone else at work eating up my attention."
Beth paused to take another sip of her tea, and Carol shook her head. "Men are senseless," she supplied.
Beth hummed in agreement. Then she said, "the first time Zach hit me, he'd looked as stunned as I'd felt."
Carol's expression turned sad; no doubt she'd already suspected such a skeleton to be hanging in Beth's closet.
"He was so sorry for doing it," Beth continued. "He spent two whole weeks buying me things and taking me out to fancy places; trying to make up for what happened. By the second incident, I'd almost forgotten about the first one. The third time he struck me, I left him."
"See?" Carol said quietly. "I knew you were brave."
"I was scared. He'd tried to coax me back the old-fashioned way, sending me chocolates and bouquets of flowers at work, leaving me notes. When I didn't respond to any of that, though, the notes became threatening.
He even left one on my pillow one night when I was at a business dinner. So, I changed my locks. Then I had break-ins. He called once to tell me that if he couldn't have me, then no one could. I filed a police report, but all they did was slap him with a restraining order.
My so-called friends were too charmed by him; they thought I was over-reacting or lying. I even left work one night to find that he'd slashed all 4 of my tires while my car was in our company parking garage.
The very last night I was in Chicago, I'd come home to find my cat's collar hanging from the wind chime on my terrace. She'd been missing for a couple of days, but she often slipped in and out through the door, so I hadn't thought a lot about it at the time. The collar was definitely the last straw, though. I never knew if Zach had just stolen her to freak me out, or if he'd actually been capable of killing her, but I didn't stick around to find out.
I packed my bags and flew to my sister's house in Cincinnati for a few days. I bought this cabin over the internet and then hopped on a plane; I ran and I never looked back."
"Are you ever worried he'll find you?" Carol whispered, as though Zach could possibly overhear them talking about him.
"Nah," Beth responded. "I sublet my apartment to a girl I used to go to the gym with all of the time, so that's the only thing still in my name. I didn't tell my sister everything, but I told her enough. Her fiancé is such an amazing man that he didn't hesitate to put everything down here in his own name, just in case. Every piece of mail I receive actually comes addressed to Glenn Rhee."
"That's smart," Carol told her, smiling a bit.
"That's one way to look at it," Beth said, smiling back. "Another is; my sister is way too over-protective for her own good."
Carol nodded a bit, eying her empty tea mug and said, "It's not such a bad thing, having someone look out for you."
Beth sensed that Carol was talking about her. "I suppose it's not," she replied, picking up both coffee mugs and rinsing them out in the sink.
"My point is," Beth said, "I know how easy it is to get sucked into someone bad without really knowing it, and how scary it is when you're there; and especially, how hard it is to break free. So, I just… I know where you're coming from, you know?"
"Thank you," Carol said sincerely.
Beth poured the remainder of the tea in a pitcher and placed it in the fridge, scoffing at her own supply of food. "Looks like we need to make a grocery store run tomorrow. Want to do that before we grab Sophia?"
"Yeah, that sounds good," Carol responded.
After Beth fixed up the hide-a-bed in the couch using clean spare sheets, another thing she corrected after the night Daryl fell into the river; they said their goodnight pleasantries and crawled into their separate beds.
As Beth drifted off to sleep that night, she didn't bother thinking about Zach, her lost job, or her past. Her thoughts instead drifted to a handsome loner with long shaggy hair who skulked around in the woods with a crossbow. She thought of him as he'd stood on front of her that evening, slinging his anger around like a tangible object, trying to prove to her that he was unlovable.
Then she thought about the way he'd shared the blanket with her in the truck on the way back from the hospital, the entire Saturday afternoon he'd spent fixing her driveway without expecting anything in return, and especially the night he'd deliriously admitted that she smelled really good.
No, Daryl Dixon wasn't a bad man. A stubborn, rude, obnoxious, impossible man; he certainly was. But he was no monster.
Beth knew a thing or two about monsters.