Edward

I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my t shirt. What a time for me to be bothered. I rolled the window down. Bella's brown eyes loomed at me from outside the car. Rain dripped down over the door and into the car. Today's weather was attuned with my mood apparently.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah im fine." i mumble.

"You dont look fine." she says taking in my red eyes and shaking hands.

"Im fine..." i say trying to look away.

She was standing out in the rain getting soaked by the minute. Why wasnt she on her bus going home? I knew she didnt have her own car. The buses would have left by now.

"Why arent you on the bus?" i ask.

She looked around the parking lot. "Oh, i didnt really think. I seen you running like the devil across the parking lot in your gym shorts. I thought something was wrong."

Gah, why did she have to notice me. Maybe i should have changed first before running to my car.

"Well im fine...no need to worry." i say.

Her eyes told me that she was indeed worrying. I could see her eyebrows knitted in concentration. What was i to do? She wasnt stupid. I couldnt say the tears were the rain. She obviously watched my mad dash across the parking lot. She knew enough about me to know something was wrong. She had missed her bus because she was worried about me. I had no other choice.

"Hop in." i said. She missed the buses by now and i couldnt leave her here in the rain. And for some reason she was bringing me comfort. Comfort in a time that i desperately needed it. She saw me and tried to come help. I couldnt just leave her here. She hesitated just a fraction before walking over to the passenger side and climbing in. I rolled up the window and started the car.

She sat silently beside me. She was starting to make me nervous. Why wasnt she saying anything? Have i freaked her out? Did she think i was some unbalanced kid with mental problems? Probably. I didnt want to listen to the radio so the car was eerily silent. I tapped my thumbs on the steering wheel as i maneuvered out of the school parking lot. She was silent until we got into town.

"Its okay to cry you know." she says almost whispering.

"What?" i say.

"Its okay to cry..." she replies.

So she had seen and noticed that i was crying. Great, just Great.

"I wasnt crying.. had something in my eye." i say.

Her eyes turned to me in a mock disbelief. I couldnt help it, i laughed. What was it about her that made me feel relaxed? She didnt try and act like the other girls. She didnt bat her eyelashes and say things like the other girls. She was normal. She didnt try and act like she was better than anyone else. I liked her for her originality.

Most girls my age only care about their hair, their make up, and the hottest guy they can find. It was a bit stupid really. There was more to life then just yourself. There was Alice...

At the thought of her, my eyes started to water. Today was just a day for tears. I was having trouble seeing out of my eyes. Bella quickly noticed the situation.

"Pull over Edward!" she cried. I pulled over by the side of the road. I couldnt control it any longer. I started to cry. I cried for Alice, i cried for my parents, i cried for my friends who really werent my friends, i cried for everything that has happened in these past few years. I cried over my stupidity in acting like a fool over a girl. I cried the hardest over what i had done to my sister. It felt as if the pain would just eat me alive.

Bella let me cry. She didnt do anything but lay her hand on my shoulder. We were in a car so she couldnt do much else. It didnt matter, i was fine with that one small gesture. I needed someone to be there for me. I had no one else. I cried until i couldnt cry anymore. My breath wheezed inside my chest. I couldnt see straight and my heart just hurt. Bella continued to hold onto me. I leaned over and allowed her to put her arm around me.

I cant say how amazing it felt being there beside her. Her warm body pressed into mine. I could smell the scent of lavender in her hair. I sobbed into her shoulder. This wasnt what a man did. I would feel ashamed of it later. But for now i just enjoyed the moment. I leaned pressed against her for what seemed like forever. Her arms never left from around me. I couldnt even begin to say how much that meant to me.

When i at last got my thoughts under control i leaned away. She let her arms drop and she just sat there waiting. Most girls would have bothered me the second i started crying. Bella was waiting for me to speak. She was definitely something different. I took some deep breaths before i spoke.

"Im sorry." i say.

She pats my arm, "Dont mention it. We all have to break down sometime."

I look at her and i see something that i have never noticed before. Her eyes held sadness as well. Why had i never noticed that? What could be troubling her? My own thoughts were abandoned for the moment.

"Are you okay Bella?" i ask. I was genuinely concerned.

"I will be fine. Been doing better these last few days actually." she replied. I could believe it. She seemed happier, but there was still sadness in her eyes. I wondered what was causing her pain? I didnt to see her hurting. Bella wasnt the one to take everything for herself. She wasnt one to whine and complain. She took what was given to her and did the best she could with it. A lot of people could learn from this girl.

I smiled weakly. "Well thats great to hear. I just am having one of those days."

She nodded as if she understood. Maybe she did. Maybe she had those days more often than i did. I wouldnt know because we both hid our stories well. I could look into her eyes and see the wounded animal because i was a wounded animal too. I seen things in the same dark way that she did. We were not those regular kids who seen everything through a sugar glamour. We seen things the way they were. We seen the truth. And the truth hurt.

Why shouldnt i let her in? I could be friends with her. Screw what other people thought. She was the one here for me not anyone else. She has provided more than anyone else had in this town. There was nothing wrong with Bella. I could be friends with her easy. Screw what anyone said about it. I was going to be friends with her. I just had to show her some things first. Let her know what i hide inside me. Then she can be the one to decide if she wants to be friends with me after all.

I had pulled up beside her house. The rain was falling thickly around me. I was nervous, what if she didnt want to go? She didnt have too but i was hoping that she would. I missed having close friends. I had thought James was my best friend and he turned on me without even trying to understand. I didnt want any false friends anymore. Those school friends were just that, school friends. I wouldnt tell those people anything. But i felt like Bella could be trusted.

"Hey Bella?" i ask nervously. It has been a long time since i have talked to another person about any of this.

"Yes?" she says.

"Do you mind coming to my house with me?"

She hesitated, "Sure.." I could tell she was curious as to why.

"I just have something to tell you and i'd prefer if you seen something before i did."

"Oh okay." she says.

I drove past her house and turned around. I was going to bring her to my home. My mom would be home and i knew she'd like to meet any friends of mine. I hoped she wouldnt mind what i was planning to do. I didnt want fake friends anymore. I would present everything to Bella and let her make that choice. No more hiding things. If Bella thought i was a monster after, than thats what it was. I was tired of hiding everything from everyone.

I needed someone to talk to. I needed someone to understand my pain. I needed someone to tell me that i wasnt the monster that i felt i was. I was hoping that Bella would be that person. I hoped that she would listen and tell me what she thought. I was hoping that it would be different from what all the others have said.

All i heard in my head every day were these words.

Child killer. Child killer. Child killer.

No one has forgiven me for what i did. Not completely. I was hoping that someone would understand what happened and realize that it wasnt all my fault. I was hoping for someone to tell me that i wasnt the terrible person i thought i was. Inside i felt like poison. Slowly killing everything that i loved. I wanted just one person to tell me otherwise. I hoped that it would be Bella. My mom has forgiven me but not completely. She hurts everyday over the fact that her baby is dying. She cant hate me but sometimes i wish she would. I deserve the hate. My father would never forgive me and that hurt everyday. Even though half of me agreed with his actions. What did i even deserve anymore?

I drove as fast as i could to my house. The rain still falling fast and thick. I made it around the bend and the house came into view. I could tell Bella was amazed at the house's structure. Most people didnt want windows all around their house. They didnt want anyone seeing in. I wished more than anything that someone could see into me. That someone could pull me out of this abyss i had put myself in. The house was beautiful though. I had to admit that. It was more for Alice than anything else. She loved to look out the windows from her bed into the trees and sun. My mother had found this house just for the purpose of easing it for Alice.

I pulled up and took a deep breath. Here it was, my dark secret. The secret that drove me insane everyday. The secret that threatened to consume me. The secret that i wasnt as perfect as everyone thought. And i was going to share it with Bella. I was taking her to meet Alice. Alice loved everyone. She was a kind soul and she made everyone feel better. That was just Alice. Even though she was suffering she tried to ease other peoples suffering. I loved her so much that i felt my heart breaking every day. She was stable but she was getting sicker every day. It was only a matter of time...

I hoped Bella would see her and maybe make her smile. Alice's smiles were worth every second. Her eyes filled with pain actually twinkled when she laughed. It was such a beautiful thing. I was hoping that Bella could maybe ease her mind. I thought Alice would like another girl to talk too. Bella had a kind soul as well, i knew she would be a good thing for Alice. Maybe she could bring her peace, even if its just a little.

I just hoped she didnt think of me any different after...

Authors note: You were correct. It was Bella outside the window. Lets just hope she can handle the news of Alice nicely. Stay tuned for the next chapter and thanks so much for all the support! :D This story doesnt have magical characters. No vampires and werewolves here. But if Edward and Bella were normal teenagers i think this could have been a real reality. Maybe a little dark, but life isnt made of all nice things. Its got to rain before you can celebrate the rainbow!

Thanks for reading.