Bella

I endured through the weekend the best i could. I kept my thoughts as contained as i could manage. It didnt seem to make any difference. I was eagerly awaiting Monday morning. I would go to Edward and i would make him talk to me. One way or the other, i would find out what was going on. I had let my depression get the best of me. Well not anymore. One way or the other i would find out once and for all.

I was so nervous Sunday night that i didnt go to bed til very late. When i awoke the next morning i felt on edge. I hadnt slept well and it wasnt going to make my day any better. I rushed through the morning and was almost late for the bus. I thankfully got there just in the nick of time. I joined the rest of the kids in line and got onto the bus. I tried to calm my beating heart as the school finally came into view.

I got off the bus and made for my usual spot. I needed time to think, i needed time to process. What exactly was i going to say to him? How could i come across in a way that didnt push him away farther? I needed to express the reasons for why i was doing this. I needed him to understand who i was as a person. And if he decided that after that he didnt want anything to do with me, then so be it. I was ready for anything.

I had braced myself the night before. I had thought of every possible turn of event until i couldnt anymore. I was now ready for anything. I sat down in the wet grass and i waited. I was too nervous to really notice anything around me. I waited and waited, and finally he arrived. I stood up as he got out of his car. His eyes on everywhere but me. Should i try and talk to him now? Should i go over there and just say 'Hey'. Would that even work? I could probably just talk to him later. When there wasnt as many witnesses. He had already joined his friends anyway. Oh well, i would just have to wait.

The bell rang and i followed the rest of the students inside. I made it through my classes with no real incident. When it was time for lunch i followed along side Mike. His cheerful manner was the same as it always was.

"How are you today Bella?" he asked.

"Better than usual, thanks. How about you?"

"Oh im fantastic. I'v noticed you've been a little down. Did you wanna talk about it?" he asked. I could tell he was just trying to be nice. What would i even say? Hey Mike, i am being a little forward and all. But im in love with that Edward kid. Its a little difficult and i think he doesnt know i exist. Is there any way to make myself known to him? That would be ridiculous. I needed to figure this out on my own. It was the only way. I needed to hear the words from Edward's lips.

I chatted on irrelevant things with Mike throughout the whole lunch period. I was nice to everyone at the table. It seemed like no one had noticed my distance lately. They all still welcomed me back. I fell back into the routine of things. I didnt even think of Edward once. It was great being normal. It was great being surrounded by people who were all smiles and laughter. I had missed this more than anything.

I left lunch with a happy heart. Even if things went south, i would always have my friends. My friends would always be there for me. Mike especially. I made it through all my classes and finally it was time for Art. I entered the building a little apprehensive. I could feel my heart start to pick up its pace. I was nervous but that didnt matter. I had come here to do what i planned to do. Whether he liked it or not.

I sat at my table and opened up my book. Me and him were making good progress on the project so far. My book was largely illustrated with photos of my life. I had even captioned little sayings in the blank spaces. When the year finally ended, i would pick and pull both of our books and make it into one. It would show Edward's life as well as mine. I had no idea what all was in Edward's book. He had showed me a few photos of his piano and a few other things. But as to what his book even looked like i didnt know. Over the last few periods he had seemed to guard it from my eyes. I would see it in the end anyway.

I still had the hopes of going to Tucson. I couldnt lose sight of what i really wanted. This was my last year and did anything really matter? Soon i would be leaving, and so would everyone else. I looked around me at all the other kids. They would all be leaving for far off places just as i was. It was the way of things. High School was temporary but yet still felt so permanent. I would miss Mike and Angela and all the others who made me feel welcome. I would miss all of this.

But my life had to go on. I had to move forward. I needed to move forward. I just had to settle this with Edward and then be on my way. I had to take each day, day by day. In the end it would fix itself. In the end i would be okay. I had been picking up the pieces of my life for years before Edward came along. I could do it again.

I was starting to feel alot more at ease. Things really couldnt get much worse. I started to doodle in my note book when i felt the chair beside me move. I looked up to see him sitting down. His green sweater complimented his eyes. I couldnt help but stare. He really did look like something out of a magazine. I tried not to stare, i cleared my throat.

"How are you Edward?" i asked politely.

He doesnt even look at me, "Fine"

Okay that wasnt very polite.

"Well how was your weekend."

"Just great."

Okay this was getting me no where.

"Well ugh i was wondering if i could talk to you after school?" i asked.

He seemed to pause at this, "Why?" he asked.

"Just need to talk to you. But ugh, i was thinking about our project and..."

We spent the majority of the rest of Art talking about our photos. I was just glad that he was talking to me. He hadnt really told me no, so i guess that was okay. I was taking that as we could talk. I just really needed to clear the air. I needed to get all these feelings off my chest. He could do whatever he wanted after. I just needed to get them off and maybe keep them off. He had to explain that kiss or else i was going to die from curiosity.

When the bell finally rang, i spoke again about the meeting.

"So can i meet you at your car?" i asked.

"Sure, I'll be there." he says.

He picked up his stuff and made to leave the room. I watched him go before i picked my stuff up and left too. The day could not end quickly enough! I made it through all the boring stuff without losing my mind. I tried to pay attention to my classes but i just couldnt. I had other things more pressing come to mind. I was finally going to have the courage to speak up. I honestly didnt know what was going to happen afterwards.

I had romantic notions of being swept off my feet but quickly shook those from my head. This was a fairy tale. Good endings didnt happen much in real life. At least not for people like me. I had accepted my role in life. Some people just had it easier then others.

When at last the last bell rang i almost jumped for joy. I was all the way on the other side of the buildings so i had to rush to get there. I just hoped Edward wouldnt leave before i got there. I only could really talk for only twenty minutes. In twenty minutes the buses would leave and i'd be stranded. I really couldnt count on him wanting to take me home again. Last time i had to stand in the rain for courage to go up to his window. This time i would be there waiting. I had to get there and hope that he would be there waiting.

I walked as quickly as i could. My sneakers slapping into the concrete as i went. It had rained earlier so the weather was just awful. It always seemed to rain here in Forks. I was used to it though. I hitched my bag onto my shoulder and made my way for the parking lot. What i didnt expect was to stumble into him...and her.

I came around the bend of building 11. I stumbled to a halt. Edward was standing near the building next to Rosalie. Well of course. I watched as she rested her hand on his arm. He didnt do anything about it. He let her touch him. I watched as she continued to talk. He smiled and acted normal around her. I could see the way he leaned into her. I could see the way he looked at her. Rosalie was indeed beautiful. She was intoxicating as well as desirable. I felt jealousy well up and threaten to consume me.

I started to walk forward. I didnt have to hide here. I could walk by here. There was no reason why i couldnt. And besides, Edward was busy with her. He wouldnt be waiting at his car for me. He was back here with Rosalie. I had a bus to catch. My breath started catching in my throat as i got closer. I was close enough to hear them. Edward had his back to me. Rosalie on the other hand, could see me coming. What she did next was just pure mean.

"Oh Edward, i'v been meaning to ask you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah about your Art partner. I think she has a thing for you." she says. Her blue eyes were looking at me over his shoulder. She knew i could hear everything that was being said.

"I dont think so. And besides i dont have feelings for her. I never will." he said to her.

I couldnt see his face, but i could understand spoken english. Did he do this to me on purpose? Did he plan this whole thing? To get me to back off or something? I felt like i had been punched in the stomach. That was just a mean thing to do. Instead of come to me and talk to me, he had publicly denounced me. He had practically dismissed me, right in front of Rosalie. Beautiful Rosalie. I needed to get out of here.

I kept walking, my head down. I stormed right past them. I didnt even look at him or her. I just needed to get out of there. Tears were already starting to fall from my eyes. I needed to just get home. I had foolishly tried to talk to him and look what my attempt has done. He had publicly humiliated me. Rosalie had helped but that didnt really matter. I rushed for the bus as quick as i could. I just wanted to go home. I would worry about everything later. I would worry about it all later.

I didnt want to break down on the bus. I didnt want other kids hearing me cry. But i did not posses the strength that was needed to hold it in. I cried. I cried even when deep down i knew what was happening. Deep down i knew that i stood no chance. But i had still hoped. I had still hoped that maybe my day would have ended nicely.

Now that hope was crushed. Edward had said it himself, he didnt want anything to do with me. He had said it plain as day. And once again i was here trying to pick up the pieces.

P.S. You haven't heard Edwards POV... Just keep that in mind. Thanks for reading and more to come soon enough.