Bella

The months passed smoothly. I went to school, hung out with friends, enjoyed my life. Christmas vacation went by in the blink of an eye. My family and i shared a awkward morning of opening the small gifts we all managed to get. I got some new clothes, a few notebooks, and other non-important items. I got my mom and dad items they didn't need. Overall it wasn't such a bad occasion.

I usually didn't like the holidays, too sad. My family were close when i was younger. I can remember happier times when i was a child. Not so much anymore. It still wasn't such a bad day. I opened my gifts and went about my day. I was happy and i stayed happy.

The days passed smoothly, fall went to winter, winter went to summer. I talked casually to Edward whenever i had the chance. I didn't try and appear anything more than what we were. I talked to him politely and he did the same. Months ago after that whole fiasco, the following day he had tried to come to me during art class.

"Bella i need to speak to you." he said.

"It doesn't matter Edward. Just drop it." i had replied.

He had looked at me with some kind of look in his eye. I couldn't really place it, but he had let it drop. We resumed our casual relationship and that was the end of it. I was glad but a part of me was sad. I just couldn't allow myself to let him hurt me. He had already hurt me once, and i could not stomach another wound. I was doing what was best for both of us. He wouldn't and couldn't be with me, so why put myself in the position to fall? I did what was best for both of us and just acted friendly.

We worked on our project, we made small talk, we did all the things that normal school friends do. I didn't pressure him, didn't sit close to him, i didn't break any of the rules. I enjoyed being around him and i did like the feel of his presence. But i couldn't allow myself to hurt like i had before. Surely anyone could understand that? I was doing the best i could with what i had been given.

I was passing all my classes in school. I was on my way to passing with flying colors. My teachers were starting to notice me and i had to admit i liked it. I was fitting in more and more as the school year went on. I actually went up to people and started the conversation versus making them do it. Mike and our group of friends were all close. We hung out almost every weekend down at La push. I spent more time with Jacob and i was starting to really enjoy the year. I would actually be sad when it was over.

I didn't try and pay attention to what Edward was doing, but i couldn't help myself. Sometimes i noticed his eyes were red when he was walking into the school in the morning. I wondered if maybe Alice was having a hard time. I almost asked him about it but figured if he wanted me to know he would tell me. Maybe he just had something in his eye.

I didn't avoid him, i just didn't try and push myself into his presence. He talked to me each day in Art, usually over the project. We had made a good way into our little journals. My book was thick and bulky. I had added so many photos and thoughts, cut and paste, that my book was now twice the size it had been originally. Edwards was still the same. I didn't know what he did in there. I didn't know what he filled his with. He never showed me any of the things that he put inside. I just had to be at peace with the fact that he knew what he was doing.

With the school year wrapping itself up, i was thrilled and a little sad. I would miss all my friends, i would miss the laughs and the beach. I just hoped that i would still be able to keep in touch with most of them. Mike had become one of my best friends. I imagined that maybe he did like me, in a crush kinda way. I was used to his teasing and flirting but i wasn't really interested. I knew for a fact that Jessica had her eyes on him from the start. He just didn't see it though.

With only a few months until school ended, the school was in a frenzy. Prom was showing itself and it was a big thing for the senior year. It was to be held in the school gymnasium which isn't very classy, but the art department made up for it with the decorations. They would be transforming the whole gym building and the surrounding outside. It would be a beautiful occasion.

Each day i watched as girls were gushing over what guy had asked them to the dance. Each day i waited for at least someone to ask me, no one did. I had hopes of going to the dance. Maybe using that money i had saved up over the past few months and buying a nice dress. I would actually do my hair and make up and look for once in my life as if i really was beautiful. But i couldn't go to prom without a date. Mike kept shooting me weird glances every time i caught his eye.

I wondered if he would ask me. Would i even go with him? Sure he wasn't bad looking, and he was kinda cute, but he just wasn't my type. I loved him like a best friend but that was as far as it went. It wouldn't be so bad dancing with him, if he even asked me. I at least would get to go to my first ever dance with someone who wanted me to go. I just hope that he knew that it was just as friends. I would have to make sure that he understood that, if he asked of course.

With the prom only a few days away i started to get anxious. I had heard from a friend that Edward was going with Rosalie. Big surprise. That had hurt but only a little. I couldn't judge him in the least. He was trying to be happy and so was i. I still hadn't found a date. I assumed that with more people getting to know me that someone would have asked me. But alas, that was not the case.

I went through my day as rushed as everyone else. The last minute stragglers that hadn't found someone to take them to the prom were busy scoping out the few remainders that were single. I myself was included. I didn't ask right out but i did try and be brave a few times. There was this cute guy in my math class who i had worked with earlier in the year. He was a nice guy with a nice smile. I figured that i would give him a chance. When i had asked him he had sincerely replied that he already had a date. Well, there goes my luck.

The days passes in a blur. I was started to lose my cool. I had asked around about everyone who was single for the dance, the group was not too many. Mike was still available i learned but he hadn't asked me. I thought it would be weird if i had asked him. We had been friends since the start of the year, i didn't want to assume anything. I waited nervously that whole day and he still didn't ask. Looks like i wasn't going to the dance after all.

Not that it really mattered much. I had wanted to go but it wasn't a life or death situation. I could just stay at home and watch a movie. Get some work done on my senior project. It wasn't like i had to go to prom. I wasn't that type of girl that would just breakdown if they didn't go. Sure i was nervous about going. I had wanted to go after all. But it really didn't matter if i went or not. I could just stay home and enjoy the solitude.

At the end of the day i had grabbed my book bag and my coat and went for the bus. I didn't want to be late. I had small matters on my mind. Prom was this weekend and still i didn't have a date. It looked like a movie date was calling my name. I could rent some movies or maybe pick some up from the blockbuster down the road. Either way, the night would be fun. I loved having friends but sometimes i missed having my own space. Each day i was spiraled into a group of friends pretty much from the start.

People noticed a difference in me. I was still the same old Bella. I usually wore my hair up than down. I wore make up a little more now than i had before. I was still the same soft hearted girl i had always been. It just seemed like everyone was now seeing me that way finally. They had finally opened their eyes and seen me for who i really was. The funny thing is they actually like who i am.

I was walking down the walk way with a thousand thoughts going on in my head. Thoughts of what movie i was bound to rent this weekend when i heard someone call my name. I looked behind me to see Mike jogging up towards me. I still had a little distance to the bus so i could chat as i walked there.

"Yeah Mike, whats up?" i asked.

He had a hard time looking at me. His face was a unnatural shade of red. Was he blushing?

"Hey Bella, i ugh...i need to ask you something."

"Sure whats going on?"

"Nothing i just wanted to know..if maybe..you had a date...this weekend?" he asked shyly.

I almost laughed but i managed to stop it. His shyness was cute and funny at the same time.

"No Mike i dont have a date. Didnt Jessica want to go with you?" i asked. The last i heard of that, Jessica had came up to Mike and Mike had turned her down. Which made Jessica mad about why she had been turned down. I wondered about that myself.

"Yeah but i was hoping that maybe you would go with me.."

Okay, there it is.

"I would like to go yes, as friends of course." i say.

His smile falters just a little but he perks himself up. "That's great, i can pick you up Saturday night at say seven?"

It was Thursday so i had plenty of time to find a dress. I could talk more about it tomorrow with him. Weren't couples supposed to match accordingly?

"Sure."

He smiles and i walk past him to my bus. I had reached it by the time he had asked. Well, at least i have a date for prom. I just hope it turned out better than i expected. Mike was a cute guy but he was not...Edward.

That was the pure realization of it. I had shunned the man and now he had shunned me. Was i wrong for not going to the door that one night? Was i wrong for not trying to talk it all out? What could have possibly happened? I didn't think anything could have happened. I just was not optimistic about the whole Edward thing. Why? Because he pure and simple, was too good for me. He was out of my league and everyone knew it. Sure, i had tried at first. But really what was the point? I could put my whole heart into him and that wouldn't matter unless his heart was given back.

I was grateful that i was going with Mike, Blue eyes instead of Edward's green, but i still wished things were different. I believe we both were wrong. It had taken me some time to really figure that out. We both made some mistakes and as of this moment, i have no clue as to what even really happened. It didnt really matter anyway. The school year was closing in and pretty soon i would be far away from Forks. Many people say that 90 percent of High School relationships don't work out anyways.

A part of me had hoped i would have been that other 10 percent...

But life was life, and sometimes the best thing you can do is move on.

Authors note: Trying to make up for my slow updating. Thanks for reading and more to come. :D