Monster Movie Part 2

In the theater, Phantom of the Opera was showing. Organ music swelled as Sam and Angela walked in. Sam and Angela checked the clips of their guns and then walked towards a shadow of a man playing an organ. Ed Brewer switched the music to something happy.

"Whoa!" Ed exclaimed.

Angela shoved him against the wall and Sam held him at gun point.

"You guys, from the FBI, what did I—Ed started.

"Shut up, okay, you know what you did." Angela glared.

"What?" Ed asked.

"We know what you are." She said.

"I'm not anything." Ed replied. "I just like to play the Casio."

"Had time to grow the ear back, huh?" she smirked and tugged on his ear.

"What?!" he yelled. "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Lady, stop it!"

"It's supposed to come off." Sam said.

"No, it's not!" Ed yelled.

~/~\~

"Oh, that sounds awful." Lucy said. "Jamie, honey, are you okay?"

"Oh, I am fine. He didn't even touch me." Jamie replied. "Dean, he just flew right in and fought him off."

"Well, I didn't actually fly, but I'm sure it seemed that way at the time."

Lucy blotted her lipstick.

"It was really, really something." Jamie said sleepily.

"Jamie?" Dean asked.

"So, Dean, are you like a black belt or what?" Lucy asked.

Dean looked at his glass, it swam before his eyes.

"Well, I guess they train you to fight at the academy or whatever." Lucy said.

Dean leaned across to punch Lucy. He pushed Jamie out of the booth. They both staggered.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Jamie asked before passing out and falling back into the booth.

"It's you, isn't it?" Dean glared at Lucy.

Lucy pushed her jaw back into place. Dean kicked her again.

"Oh, dammit!" Dean yelled. "What did you put in the drinks?!" he asked. He smashed the bottle on the edge of the table. "That's all right. I'll skin you myself." He said before passing out.

"And… scene." Lucy smirked.

~/~\~

Dean was wearing an Oktoberfest costume and was tied to an upright table.

"Oh, come on." He groaned. He looked at a portrait of a woman's face.

"She is beautiful, no? Bride number three." Dracula said. He crossed to the woman's portrait. "From the first film. She never got the acclaim she deserved." He caressed her face. "Which is why I chose her shape, her form to move among the mortals unnoticed, to listen to the cricket songs of the living. That is when I discovered my bride had been reborn in this century."

"I can't get over what a pumpkin-pie-eyed, crazy son of a bitch you really are." Dean replied. "You're not Dracula. You get that, right? Or even if you think you are Dracula, what the hell's up with the mummy?!"

Dracula punched Dean in the face. "I am all monsters!"

"Life ain't a movie, you sorry sack of—

Dracula punched Dean in the face.

"Aah." Dean muttered.

Dracula paced. "Life is small. Meager messy, the movies are grand, simple, elegant. I have chosen," he flung out his cape. "Elegance."

"You think 'elegance' is really the word for what you did to Marissa or Rick Deacon or any of the others?!" Dean yelled.

"But of course." Dracula replied. "It is a monster movie, after all." He added.

"You do realize what happens at the end of every monster movie?" Dean asked.

"Ah. But this movie is mine. And in it, the monster wins. The monster gets the girl." Dracula said. "And the hero, he's… electrocuted." He crossed to a large lever. "And tonight, Jonathan Harker," he gripped the lever. "You will be my hero."

The doorbell rang.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait." Dracula chuckled nervously. "Please, excuse me."

~/~\~

Sam and Angela walked around. Sam had the phone on the speaker.

"Dean, hey, listen, uh, Ed is not our guy." Angela said.

"Um, we're guessing you're at home with Jamie, so just give us a call, okay?" Sam added.

Sam saw a bottle on the floor and a napkin with a lipstick print.

"Lucy." He muttered, nudging Angela so she could see the bottle and napkin.

~/~\~

Sam and Angela picked Dracula's front door and entered. They held their guns out at the ready.

~/~\~

Sam and Angela entered the dungeon.

"Oh, thank god." Dean said. "Just in the nick of time. That guy was about to Frankenstein me."

Sam and Angela untied Dean.

"Hey there, Hansel." Angela giggled.

Dean pointed a finger at her. "Shut up!"

Dean gestured for Sam to kick down the door. Sam put his foot through the door.

"Let's go." Sam said.

~/~\~

Sam opened the door and crossed to Jamie lying on the bed.

"Aah!" Dracula yelled. "You will never be van helsing!" he said in a Hungarian accent. He threw Sam through the wall.

Angela ran over to Sam as Dean attacked Dracula.

"And you, Harker, now you die." Dracula said.

"How 'bout now you shut the hell up?" Dean asked.

Dean was thrown to the ground, Dracula raised his arms, about to go in for the kill. A gun shot was heard.

"Silver?" Dracula muttered. He turned to see Jamie holding the gun. "It was beauty that killed the beast." He staggered. "No, Mina, do not weep." He fell into his chair. "Perhaps this is how the movie should end."

~/~\~

Dean and Jamie were kissing.

"Well, thank you, G-Man." She smiled. "You have been a great service," she kissed him. "To your country." She kissed him again.

"Oh, yes," he kissed her. "I'm very, very patriotic."

Sam and Angela stood behind Dean. Dean looked over his shoulder at them. Sam smiled tensely and Angela smiled a small smile. Dean turned back to Jamie.

"Bye." He whispered.

"Bye."

Dean, Sam and Angela began to walk away.

"You guys," Jamie started. The three turned back to her. "Saved my life, you know? So, thanks." She left.

"I like her." Sam said.

"Feels good to be back on the job, doesn't it?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, it does." Angela nodded.

"The hero gets the girl, monster gets the gets all in all, happy ending, with a happy ending no less." Dean smiled.

Sam chuckled. "Real classy, Dean."

"Hey, all I'm saying is the shifter man had a point, you know? It would be nice if life was movie simple." Dean replied. "Although, if I was turning life into a movie, I wouldn't do this 'Abbott and Costello meet the monster' crap."

"Yeah. No, I know what you'd pick." Sam smiled.

Dean chuckled. "No, you don't."

"Yeah, I do."

"No. You don't. You don't!"

"'Porky's II.'" Sam smiled.

"What?" Dean asked.

"You heard me." Sam smirked.

"Lucky guess." Dean grumbled.

Angela laughed at Dean's expression.

A/N: Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Umm, I don't really have too much commentary on this one, so this is a really short author's note.

Anyway, please review, it'd mean so much! Love you guys!

~Emily