~:~"~:~ Author Notes: Happy Squall day everyone! ~:~"~:~

Homophones

Rinoa looked up at the clock hanging above the kitchen stove as the long hand passed down half past seven, adding another fifteen minutes to Squall's delay. Since the misunderstanding between them after the incident with his knee back in the Training Centre, they both had become somewhat relaxed with their time keeping. Rinoa made sure not to jump into panic mode every time he didn't call if he was running late. She couldn't fault herself entirely, if it wasn't shards of ice, Galbadian soldiers, or Time Compression itself, it was a misplaced landing that dislocated his knee. Somehow the Commander always found himself in a spot of physical bother.

In some ways his late arrival home was a blessing. She had spent a bit too long in the bath, pampering herself for what seemed to be an overdue therapy session she hadn't taken since Ultimecia. It was amazing and surreal to think that it was only four years ago that they were sleeping it rough, fighting monsters, travelling into time and living it large with Omega Weapon. Yet now, life had pretty much become quite 'normal' it was almost abnormal.

It wasn't like the world was dramatically saved from every evil being with the slaughtering of one Sorceress. There were still criminals lurking about, monsters that needed to be slain and Political figures requiring protection. SeeD was still being hired, but not Miss Heartilly herself.

Rinoa never was trained nor intentionally destined for battle. Her short time with the Forest Owls was somewhat preparation for fighting along SeeD, but even that wasn't enough to tempt her to stay at Garden and follow orders without questioning. Such life just wasn't for Rinoa Heartilly.

So it was only natural that the girl from Deling City would revert to her old ways and let those trained and fully acquainted in battle clean up the aftermath.

Still, though she missed her younger freedom-fighting days, there was a calm bliss in having to only worry about paying bills on time (not like that was an issue what with Squall's salary and all), walking Angelo and making sure not to blow up the kitchen when she couldn't find the matchsticks. Sorcery did have its highlights.

Just as she was cutting up some fresh parsley, Rinoa heard the front door unlock and someone walk in.

"Is that you?" she asked loud enough for the intruder to hear from the hallway.

"Yeah," Squall's voice replied back. "I tried calling you, but my battery died."

Squall walked into the kitchen, lightly pecking Rinoa's cheek before picking up a glass tumbler from the dish rack and filling it with water.

"I told you to charge it."

"I did." Squall paused from drinking his water and leaned against the counter. "I was on the phone to Laguna for like twenty minutes when Selphie walks in and asks if she could speak to him. I handed it over expecting a quick hello, the next thing I know she rinsed the entire battery."

"Wow. Selphie really can't get enough of Laguna." Rinoa chuckled, walking to the stove and adding the chopped herbs into the bubbling pot.

"I know. I find it very worrisome that someone of her age would have a crush on someone of Laguna's." Squall frowned in distaste.

Rinoa smirked, cocking her eyebrow before remarking, "You sure it's not just because she has a crush on your dad?"

Squall rolled his eyes and finished his drink. It did have a whole lot more to do with the unruly fact of his relation to the Estharian President. Even with the age difference, he couldn't fathom how anyone could talk to Laguna longer than necessary let alone dedicate an entire section of a website in honour of the man. Nevertheless, if anyone was more eccentric than Laguna, it was definitely Selphie.

"Anyway, though I can blame Selphie all I want for my lack of communication, it was actually Irvine who made me late."

"Irvine?" Rinoa asked curiously.

"Yeah, I was on my way home when I bumped into him outside the car park. He'd been telling me of this pawn shop that just opened up and he wanted me to go with him to check it out," Squall casually explained, walking over to the dining table and taking off his coat before hanging it over the chair's backrest.

Rinoa stood still, frowning at Squall before asking, "…and did you?"

"Yeah, he said it was cheaper than the usual place I go to, so I went to take a look myself." Squall sat down, absentmindedly picked up an old copy of Weapon's Monthly and started skimming through the pages.

"I'm sorry, you have a usual place?" Rinoa asked in utter confusion.

"A place on Redbrick Grove, but it's not as fancy as this new place," Squall muttered, still consumed with his magazine.

"Oh, so this new porn shop is much fancier, huh?" Rinoa angrily remarked.

"Yeah, they have better stock, a lot more leather and good deals too," Squall answered.

"Oh really." Rinoa, eyes wide, stood with her hands on her hips. "What are the really good deals then?"

Squall shrugged, not exactly remembering the specifics, he just remembered that the bullets for his Lionheart were cheaper. Besides, he was more interested in admiring the glossy photo of Flame Saber, how he missed that gunblade. Lionheart did have its moments, but there was nothing more awesome than hacking into Monsters and setting them on fire at the same time.

Squall smirked to himself just thinking of the memory before looking up at Rinoa's furious expression. Instantly his own expression changed into one of alarm as he realised his error in ignoring her. Rinoa didn't take too kindly when she found herself talking to a wall.

"What?" Squall asked and immediately regretted it when Rinoa scowled at him.

"What do you mean what? You're telling me that you're home late because Irvine dragged you to a porn shop and you didn't even resist?"

"Why would I? He's been asking me to accompany him for a while now and I promised him. Besides, I'm only half an hour late; I didn't think you'd mind." Squall tried being apologetic, but in all honestly he didn't see why it was such a problem.

"I wouldn't mind? What makes you think I wouldn't mind!" Rinoa's voice rose in anger. "Here I am being the perfect domestic wife, cooking, cleaning, and being at home when you walk in through the door and all the while you've been popping into porn shops with Irvine!"

"Why's that a problem?" Squall asked completely baffled. Seeing Rinoa grip her wooden spoon tighter, Squall almost wished he hadn't asked. Maybe it was something to do with Irvine and he hadn't been listening. The Commander tried to rack his brain thinking back to past conversations with Irvine's involvement. Did Rinoa and Irvine have some argument and Squall somehow promised not to go any where near the Sharpshooter?

"Of course it's a problem! Why wouldn't it be a problem!" Rinoa bellowed. "Am I not enough for you?"

"You are!" Squall answered quickly, still amazed at Rinoa's sudden change of behaviour. Getting off his chair, he carefully approached her as she continued to shout at him.

"Well I'm obviously not if you need to head off in search of new porn shops with Irvine."

"Look Rinoa I'm sorry, I didn't know you'd be upset about this." Squall held up his hands in mock surrender, trying to think of how to cheer her up or at least lessen her irritation towards him. "Listen, if you want, next time I head down to the pawn shop you can come with me?"

If Rinoa's eyes weren't wide enough, they had just gotten a heck wider. Gritting her teeth at him, she restrained herself from blurting out a few obscenities before opting for a more civil approach.

"Why on earth would I step into a store like that?" she asked disgustedly.

Taken slightly aback by her conceitedness, Squall scoffed, "C'mon Rinoa, there's nothing wrong with pawn shops. Everyone has to make a living, not every can afford to shop in the luxury Deling high streets." Squall folded his arms and frowned at Rinoa disdainfully. This was the first time they had let culture and class clash with their relationship. Squall had always believed that though they had polar opposite upbringings, somehow it would never be a problem. Today was a first.

"Excuse me, but just because Deling City doesn't have shops like that," Rinoa pulled a face of disgust before continuing, "doesn't mean everyone is a rich snob. We just have self-respect."

"Self-respect? What the hell does respect have to do with pawn shops?"

"Have you gone mad? What kind of person would have no shame in walking into a porn shop in bloody daylight!"

"Erm, people that are short of money and need a quick fix?" Squall answered, ignoring that her question was rhetorical. Seriously, sometimes Rinoa really could be stuck up.

"Quick fix?" Rinoa slammed down the wooden spoon in her hand onto the counter top. "What you have at home isn't enough?"

"I-I don't understand you. I really don't see this weird attitude with exchanging old stuff for something new. Or even getting rid of some of my old things for a few extra gil." Squall shook his head disappointedly.

"A few extra gil? Like you need it," Rinoa sarcastically replied. "And I don't understand you. God, you sicken me!"

Turning away from him, she picked up her spoon and began stirring her pasta sauce, biting on her bottom lip as it quivered. She couldn't believe how normal and shameless Squall was being about this entire situation. Porn shops? She couldn't believe it. How on earth did she never stumble upon one of his 'old stuff'. That darn Irvine, she should have sorted him out when he left that magazine for them at FH!

"Rinoa I'm sorry for being late, but to be honest I'm completely baffled by your attitude." Squall stood still watching as Rinoa looked at him from the corner of her eyes. "I never thought your life as the General's daughter would ever affect our relationship, but seriously, this is kinda low."

"Low? My attitude is low?" Rinoa asked in perplex. "You go into a porn shop and I'm the one that is acting low?"

Squall shrugged his shoulders, still utterly puzzled by her stance.

"Tell me Squall, when you go into these shops to get your quick fixes don't you ever think of how I'd feel?"

"Why would I?" Rinoa's eyes had at this point brimmed with tears as the harsh words seeped in. Rubbing the back of her hand against her cheek she wiped away her tears. Squall grimaced, pulling at her hands until she relented and caved into his chest. Brushing down her hair, he tried soothingly persuading her opinion, "Rin, it's not a big deal."

"It is a big deal! You're going to porn shops and buying dirty magazines, and probably watching dirty movies-"

"What!" Squall placed his hands on Rinoa's shoulders and pushed her back an arm's length away. Looking into her tear stained cheeks, a light bulb clicked and he realised where exactly their conversation had differed.

"The hell, Rinoa! Pawn shop, not Porn shop. P-A-W-N."

"Huh?" Rinoa grunted, sniffing her tears away and staring doe-eyed at Squall.

"I went to a PAWN shop. A shop where you pawn your old things, equipment, accessories, sometimes even jewellery for other items, sometimes even gil," Squall explained rolling his eyes. Now it made sense why she was being so distasteful about it.

"Oh… I thought you went-"

"I know where you thought I went, I'm actually quite offended!" Squall looked at Rinoa sorrowfully. He didn't know what was worse, the feeling he had before thinking Rinoa looked down at pawn shops, or the feeling he had now knowing Rinoa thought he was capable of doing such a lewd thing.

"Oh…" Rinoa paused in her excuse looking around the kitchen as if that would somehow help her plea. "I don't know. It's just the way you said it, and… you said you went with Irvine so I just put two and two together."

Giving him a cheeky grin, Rinoa leaned into Squall as he smirk at her.

"Irvine and porn do make a believable couple…"

"Sorry," Rinoa sweetly cooed.

Lightly chuckling to himself, Squall bent his head down and looked at her earnestly, "Don't worry about it. Just know in future, I would never, ever step into such a store, no matter how much Irvine pesters."

"That's good to know." Rinoa cuddled closer to Squall, giggling at herself and feeling very relieved that her thoughts were far worse than the truth. In all honestly, she actually believed Squall would uncharacteristically play a prank on her. She couldn't believe he would ever do something so… Irvine-esque.

"I think your sauce is overdone." Squall commented beside her as he looked into the bubbling pot.

"Yeah, lemme plate this up." Rinoa moved away, turning the stove off and grabbing some plates off the dish rack. "Where'd you want to eat?"

"Erm, let's eat and watch a movie or something," Squall suggested, filling up two glass tumblers with fresh water.

"Cool. What do you want to watch?"

"Er… how about The Girl Next Door, the movie?" Squall sniggered to himself, looking at Rinoa as she glared at him with venom. "Too early for jokes?"

"Not unless you want this sauce poured over your head," she threatened, jabbing him in the ribs playfully.

Bending down, the Commander quickly planted a kiss on her neck as Rinoa continued plating their food.

"So Selphie and Laguna, how long before she leaves Irvine?"

"I want to say a year… but I'm hoping it'll be sooner…"

Author Notes: Haha, I had this idea since I first wrote the Mini's, I really don't know why I didn't write it sooner. A couple of years ago my sister and I nearly had this convo. She mentioned her husband was going to go to a pawn shop to trade in some jewellery or something, and my face was like o_O. Thankfully, my sister is smarter than Squall and Rinoa and quickly put my misunderstanding aright.

Not to be mean or anything, but for those of you who don't know, Homophones aren't gay calling devices... lol. Homophones are words that are spelled differently (and have different meanings) but sound similar. Like 'red' and 'read', or 'there and 'their' or even 'piece' and 'peace'.

Oh and the bit about Rinoa and SeeD I know doesn't really have a place in this oneshot, but there are a couple of staunch FF8 fans who can't see past the themes of the Mini's and demand explanation for post-Ultimecia incidents. I thought a brief explanation was in order, but this won't be done everytime. Just understand that the Mini's are oneshots that revolve around Squall and Rinoa in fluffy yet funny circumstances. That is all they are supposed to be. If you like it, cool. If you don't agree, well that's okay too. :)