Chapter 15 - Hope II
"You don't really have to walk me to work all the time, you know?" Lightning said.
Vanille grinned. "Onee-san, you were the one who said that you want to see me as much as possible during the day. You don't have to act all cool about it—"
"Hey, hey, hey," She pressed a finger against the redhead's lips and looked around them. Good thing it was still early, and the route they took wasn't particularly popular for morning walks. The soldier glared at her and whispered shyly, "Keep this to yourself…"
The girl giggled. "Mmm, okay then." Just as Lightning began to walk again, Vanille turned around, "I guess I'll head back – ack!"
Lightning had gripped onto her wrist, stopping her. She cleared her throat and started nervously, "… Well… since you're out here already…" Looking to the side, the soldier went on, in an even quieter voice, "… might as well walk all the way?"
So cute.
Always trying to look tough and bitter, Lightning. She really was nothing more than a child who was in need to grow up quickly – and this innocence was one of her attributes in which Vanille found charming, in which she fell for. "You're such a kid," She teased.
Lightning frowned, and then a smirk appeared. "And that's coming from the nineteen year-old who still wears pigtails?" She countered cleverly.
"Hey! At least I don't waste an hour every day curling my hair!"
Her eyes narrowed. "An hour? You spend a total of three each day in the washroom, doing masks and whatever-whatever treatments to your skin! Why would you need to use three hours?"
"…!" Vanille gritted her teeth, almost as if she wanted to make a 'grr' sound. "If I don't treat my skin now, I'll look like I'm fifty when I'm thirty!"
Wow. This, for some reason, turned into a silly argument. "Who cares?" Lightning said in a nonchalant manner.
"I do! I don't have flawless skin like you, onee-san!"
"Flawless skin…? I don't think it matters…"
"Yes, it does! What if I don't look pretty when I grow up?"
A brow arched firmly, "Like I said, it doesn't matter—"
"But I'm scared that you'll—"
Lightning pressed a finger against Vanille's lips, silencing her. When all was quiet again, she finally spoke in a serious tone, "You think I'm with you because of your looks?"
She gasped sharply. Is onee-san implying that I'm ugly now? "I-I find that rather offensive!"
The woman sighed. "Okay, let me try that again…" Perhaps the wording she used was wrong. She cleared her throat, "You're very pretty, but that's not the reason why I… fell for you…"
Eyes fluttering in delight by now, normally, she would be blushing from hearing something this sweet and rare from Lightning, but she couldn't help it; she started to chuckle.
"… What?" Lightning said, raising a brow.
Vanille covered her mouth with a fist, stopping her laughter. "So you're okay with me… e-even… even if I turn into an old woman?"
She blinked curiously. "… By the time you're an old woman, I'm pretty sure I'll be one too. So, no, I won't mind."
"Even if I get weird-looking tattoos all over my body?"
"That's rather attractive."
She giggled. "Even if I turn into a chocobo?"
Lightning shrugged her shoulders. "Well, if you're a chocobo, it'd be efficient for me because I'd be able to ride you every da—" W-wait. That sounded wrong…
Hearing that, she started to get creative, "What if I turned into a giant mech-robot thing, with hundreds of arms that resemble tentacles, and I'm able to shoot missiles and stuff, and—"
"Whatever you turn into, Vanille," The woman interrupted calmly, "You're perfect to me." She smiled.
Her heart rate increased by tenfold. As much as she liked to hear corny confessions from Lightning, Vanille had to admit that it was a good thing that she didn't tell her this stuff often, otherwise she would, for sure, die early from hearing too much words of happiness. Returning the smile with one of her own, Vanille took the opportunity to re-loop her arms around the soldier's.
"I love you." She hummed sweetly.
Lightning stared at her in wonder. "What's that all of a sudden?"
She pursed her lips. "Hmm, yeah, what was that?" Tapping her chin curiously, Vanille started, "I dunno. I guess I felt like saying it because… um, well, because I'm grateful for meeting you."
A tint of pinkness crept up from her neck and spread to her cheeks. Lightning's eyes softened when the girl's smile widened into a grin. "What…" Again, she looked around to see if anyone was close by. The volume in her voice was once more lowered into a mere whisper. "… Don't suddenly get so cheesy…"
Chuckling, Vanille rested her head snugly on the woman's shoulder, and yelled, "Onee-san, I LOVE YOU!"
Lightning literally hissed like a snake before covering the redhead's mouth clumsily with a palm. "What the—!" She whispered angrily, "Vanille!" Checking again, the soldier was sure that the whole world was eyeing them strangely by now. The pink colour on her cheeks deepening to crimson, Lightning could swear that she would beat the crap out of Vanille – oh, no she wouldn't – when she got home tonight.
"Don't do that again!" Lightning scolded.
Well, it was a shame that nobody paid attention to her loud confession. Sneaky Vanille actually wanted somebody to look at them so that she could embarrass her soldier for once. Unfortunately, there were only about four people present in her view: there was a jogger, who probably couldn't hear her as he was too far from them and had his earphones on, two seniors at least a basketball court away walking together, and a man on a nearby bench paying too much attention to the newspaper he was reading.
Vanille pouted. "Is it wrong that I want the world to know that I love you?"
She shivered. How could the girl say it so easily…? This was the third time this morning! "N-no… just that…" Lightning looked to the ground, "… just that… I think you should say it only during special occasions."
"Special occasions?"
She nodded. "Yeah… like, if I'm dying or something. I don't know – just… don't say it randomly…"
Confused, Vanille scratched her cheek with a finger. "But… it's not random. I say it because I think every moment I spend with you is special," She explained, "Onee-san is special to me. Isn't it the same for you? Isn't that the reason why you want to see me as much as possible?"
Steam was coming out of the soldier's head by now. Of course she thought so, but how could she admit that out loud? "I…" How could this girl say it so easily? She shook away the thoughts. Maybe it was about time to drop the subject. "… O-okay, fine. But, uh, try to reduce it, at least? Maybe save it up and then say it… uh, say it at the end of the week – yeah. Yeah, do that." She stammered.
"Oh." Vanille complied willingly. "Okay. I'll also give you a big bear-hug as I say it, how's that?"
Whew. She didn't hear what she just said – Lightning was just glad that she got that over with.
"But what about you, onee-san? When will you tell me?"
Damn it. The subject wasn't dropped yet. "I-I'll say it when I want to. That makes it extra special." God, talking to Vanille was like talking to an overly-curious child sometimes.
Vanille sighed. Man, talking to Lightning was like talking to an overly-proud child at times. "… Onee-san, you've only told me that you love me 'directly' once."
Twice, actually. Lightning said mentally. I told you when you were drunk that night at the bar, her mind went on. She would totally say that out loud, but the way she told her on that night was so damn corny, she felt as though she would strangle herself if she said it again. "W-well… I'm just…"
"You're just like a boy." She frowned. "Always being so secretive and quiet… you're only willing to say it when we're—" Vanille paused abruptly, "… when… we're…"
"— So just kill me! Do whatever you want!"
The air grew thicker, and they both knew exactly why.
"… You're not supposed to fall in love with someone like me."
The words on that day were engraved into her heart. She couldn't forget about it even if she wanted to. There was no way she hide from her history. Vanille looked away as she bit onto her lower lip. Even though she promised Lightning that she would throw away this guilt, a small part of her, a hidden part of her still wondered: did she deserve to be loved by Lightning? Was she good enough to be her girlfriend? Was it… even right for her to stay with such a kind person…?
All the light disappeared from the girl's eyes, and it was easy for Lightning to see. But she wasn't going to let something this stupid to ruin her mood. No, not even bad memories. Vanille wasn't going to be saddened after all that they've gone through; she wasn't going to become sad anymore – Lightning wouldn't allow it. "Hey," She called softly, breaking the silence.
Vanille forced a smile. She looked up. "Hmm?"
Lightning couldn't' bring herself to say the words, but she could definitely express it through her actions. She leaned in and kissed Vanille's lips, cradling the smaller girl in her arms. Lightning was going to protect her. Nothing could hurt Vanille. Nothing. Ever.
It was strange. Lightning had the oddest views in things. How could kissing in public not be embarrassing, but confessing in public be? Surely, the former would draw way more attention, right?
Her hands moved up to Lightning's shoulders. She grasped at the leather vest with excitement. The soldier loved her – that much she knew, that much she could feel. She didn't ask for her to say it because she had doubts; all she wanted was to tease her.
Once Lightning pulled away, Vanille immediately gasped for air, and this time, the pinkness covered her cheeks. Her breath uneven, she mumbled, "O-onee-san, you're being unfair…"
"Hmm? How so?"
"D-doing this to me in public all the time… people can see, you know?"
Lightning bent low enough until their foreheads touched. "They don't have to look." She grinned and then moved in to hug her tighter.
Vanille glanced around. Good, this place is still empty. Vanille's chin used the taller woman's shoulder as a cushion – Lightning had the perfect height. Actually, it wasn't just the height; personality, character traits, and even looks-wise, everything was perfect. Lightning was simply perfect.
Vanille smiled at the thought. "Onee-san…" She called lovingly.
"Hmm?"
"Are you going to hug me like this all day?"
"I plan to." Lightning mused.
She giggled. As much as she liked this… "I think you're going to be late for work though…"
The woman gasped. In a flash, she drew away, eyes bulging in horror. She didn't need to look for a watch, as it was quite easy to tell that she had wasted a good fifteen minutes standing here with Vanille. If she started sprinting now, perhaps it was still possible to make it on time before Amodar started lecturing her on tardiness.
"Ugh." Lightning grunted as she released the girl; she actually was thinking of hugging her all day, but, damn crappy work schedules, maybe she could do it later when she was off. "I'll go alone from here, I need to run, anyway. You okay with walking home yourself?"
Vanille narrowed her eyebrows. "How old do you think I am!"
She smirked. "Hn, bye then." And she ran off.
The girl held onto her hipbones and huffed. Treating her like a child was Lightning's way of teasing – actually, they both liked to pick out each other's childish traits and then use it against each other. How odd; they were so alike, yet—
Vanille blinked. "Eh?" Lightning suddenly stopped heading for the opposite direction; she had turned around and was running back towards her. "… Onee-san?" She called when her soldier came close, "What's wrong?"
Lightning smiled in response. "Nothing much," said she, and then she leaned in to, once again, plant a kiss on Vanille's lips. Before it got into anything more than innocent, she quickly drew away and stated tenderly, "Just that I suddenly wanted to kiss you."
Just that I suddenly wanted to tell you that I love you.
She blushed. Like crazy.
"See you later, my mech-robot-thing-with-a-hundred-arms." Lightning winked – Vanille's heart fluttered – and ran off again.
Her heart still pounding due to obvious reasons, forget about focussing, she couldn't even think straight. After what seemed to be an hour, she finally found the strength to move again – although as to where she was moving to, the girl hadn't a clue. But right now, she knew that she was in a flower shop. Or, why else would she be surrounded by so many flowers?
"Stupid onee-san." She mumbled as she picked through a pink rose. "Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid onee-san!" The petals fell freely onto the floor, some landing on her toes.
"Uh, miss…?"
Vanille spun around to glare at whoever spoke to her. She really wasn't in the mood right now for conversation.
The shopkeeper swallowed. "C-can I help you?"
"Help me with what!" She said with an edgy voice.
"Um… I, uh…" She stammered. Well, wasn't this one hell of a customer? Usually people who came in would be happy and all – as flowers were bought as gifts for happiness. Rarely – actually, never did people come in to vent like this stranger. "Perhaps… I can show you a catalogue of our finest-decorated bouquets?" She eyed the patch of roses worriedly. By now, the customer had stripped a single rose naked of its blossoming, healthy, pink petals. If she left her there unintended for any longer, she might lose her entire shop.
Vanille followed the shopkeeper's eyes and finally realized what she had done. Embarrassed, she backed off. "Oh my gosh!" Nice going Vanille. "I-I'll pay for this – I am so sorry!"
The woman let out a breath of relief. Well, at least now she knew that the girl wasn't insane. She smiled politely. "Oh, don't worry about it. It's only one flower – no big deal."
She sighed. Looking at the shopkeeper, she realized that she must've been behaving really stupidly just now. "I'm sorry, I don't think I'm going to get anything today."
Still smiling, the woman nodded. "It's okay. Thanks for stopping by. Do come again!"
Sigh.
Once she exited the shop, she realized that she was in a mall. Since when did she get here? How did she get here? Whatever the case, Vanille felt embarrassed. What was she doing, being such an idiot in public? Why was she getting so confused over a simple kiss? Lightning kissed her all the time, so why was she feeling this way now? Why, out of everything, was she frustrated at the kiss? Then she thought – maybe it wasn't the kiss, but was the wink? It looked – Vanille had to admit – sexy as hell, and she actually wanted to pounce on the woman right then and there. She only didn't do it because she was completely paralyzed.
Wait. Pounce on her? What did she mean by that?
She went red. Goosebumps appeared all over her skin, which was ironic because she wasn't even cold. In fact, she was sweating.
Okay, to put it simply, she was frustrated because… because Lightning looked overwhelmingly-hot for a split second? What?
But she was hot all the time, what made this occasion so special? Vanille closed her eyes to picture the whole scenario again.
Kiss.
Smirk.
Wink.
… Okay, that was hot as hell. Everything she did was hot as hell! Her lips, their softness, the way they arched as she smiled. Her eyes, their bright azure colour, the way they twinkle when she blinked. Pure beauty. Vanille wanted more of it, she wanted more of Lightning, she wanted to—
Her lower body suddenly had this hazy feeling – her legs were numb, her feet were cold, and she felt like there were butterflies flying in her pelvic region. It was almost like her lower body took in alcohol or something – it was feeling lightheaded, yes. Yes, that was it.
But then, it hit her.
What if… what if this was a sexual desire? Vanille honestly had no idea; she never had such a feeling. It wasn't like she could bring herself to think about such things after being raped. Actually, minus the few times she wanted to be 'fair' to the woman, Vanille had never thought about sex in her life. But she was very curious – if by a kiss, Lightning meant 'I love you', then what would making love mean? What was beyond 'I love you'?
Vanille wanted to know. But she was still scared… scared of—
"I'm sorry… that this is all that I can give you…"
—scared of memories resurfacing? No, it was nothing like that.
It didn't matter, however. So what if this was a sexual desire? She wanted to be closer to Lightning more than anyone in the world. She wanted to discover more of the woman, she wanted more. She wanted to know all of her soldier, and truthfully, if it wasn't because of those voices that still haunted her, she would have done it already. But considering the fact that they haven't come back for a while, maybe – just maybe – if Lightning initiated, or, rather, kissed her again tonight, she would allow her to go further?
"… Vanille, I don't need anything else as long as you stay with me."
But of course, the woman wouldn't easily give in; she promised not to hurt her, after all. Lightning was always holding back because of her history – because of the fact that she was raped. She knew that the soldier wanted it long ago (since their first kiss, in fact), and, hell, did she want to give it to her back then. Even though she knew Lightning's touch wasn't going to be painful, she was, in no doubt, scared. But one must get over one's fears, right? No matter what, she had to face it one day, so why not now, of all times, when she was feeling this ready?
Yes. Today. No escape.
Suddenly, her heart began to pound faster. Images of what they were going to do on the soldier's bed tonight – lips, naked skin, fingers, moans… – flashed through her eyes, and god, was she getting excited – er – embarrassed. Then, the strangest thing came to mind: what should she do to prepare? Should she buy some sort of sexy undergarment to surprise Lightning? Should she decorate the room to make it more romantic? A nice meal, perhaps? Condoms – wait, WHAT? Vanille shook her head, hard. This was getting out of hand. She was thinking far too much about it for her own good. It was best to get this off her mind until later.
It's okay to procrastinate sometimes!
Of course, of course. For now, window shopping would be good, since she was in a mall and all.
Start walking already!
But…
What were you thinking, Vanille! Why would you even need to get condoms? Onee-san isn't a guy… she isn't a guy, b-but… Oh! She might like it if I buy a new set of lingerie. She m-might get t-t-turned on, and… oh man, what if she doesn't like it? W-what if her joke about me gaining a few pounds wasn't a joke after all? What if… what if…!
"V-Vanille-san?"
"Eek!"
"Whoa!"
Jumping back, Vanille's heel missed the step behind and she lost balance, causing her to fall backwards.
"Vanille-san!" He grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards himself, and then took hold of her other wrist to make her stand straight.
"Oh… oh my…" It was rather difficult to catch her breath as she couldn't even see or think straight to begin with, but when she saw her saviour, she broke into a grin. "Hope! I'm so sorry about that… Oh! I mean… erm, good morning!"
The boy was, in fact, already deathly-nervous from seeing his crush on the other side of the mall (which was realistically a football field away), he was even more scared when he decided to make this (possibly) life-changing choice by coming up to her. Now, he was even holding onto her – that was enough to make his arteries explode. On top of that, being this close, he could see the pinkness on her cheeks deepen gradually in a rosy colour. It made him feel… kind of… "Uh! Um…!" Snap out of it! He let go, and took a step back, "G-good morning, Vanille-san…"
She nodded lightly and clasped her hands behind herself, maintaining a smile on her face.
Was he doing this right? He wanted to become friendly with Vanille (and dare he say, he wanted to become more than friendly with her), but being the inexperienced teenager he was, Hope had absolutely no idea where and how to begin. The taller girl wasn't saying anything, so perhaps he had to queue to do something? "Uh…" He had the biggest urge to just run away, but, damn it, man the hell up, Hope! You want to know her better, don't you! The boy clenched his teeth hard and continued, as calmly as possible, "W-what were you doing here, Vanille-san?"
"… Me?" Well, she must've looked like an idiot (again), or why else was the boy asking so awkwardly? Vanille quickly thought of an excuse, "Well, y'know…" —I was thinking about onee-san in bed with me— "… I-I just… I was wandering alone, looking for a place to eat, and… yeah, I ended up in here."
By herself? This is your freaking chance, Hope! His conscience was right. It was now or never. "Um…"
"Hmm?"
He tensed up. Hope could imagine sweat pouring down his forehead at this moment because he was about to pass out. But he had to say this, at least before he fainted. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, "If you don't mind, d-d-do you want to join me for breakfast!" He ended up screaming the sentence out.
Vanille tilted her head slightly.
… Sweet. He could hear his own voice bouncing endlessly off each wall of this huge-ass building. Forget about the odd looks he got from the people; he was more concerned with the girl's response. With the last bit of courage remaining, Hope opened an eye to peek at Vanille. To his surprise, she was still smiling tenderly; it didn't seem like his loud voice scared her at all.
"I don't mind," She replied happily, "But do you? I mean, it's a privilege for someone as common as I to hang out with a handsome boy such as yourself!"
"…!" H-handsome… she called me…?
"So," She chirped, bending lower sideways to meet him at eye-level, "Is it really alright?"
Oh god, oh god, oh god! She's so close! "I-I… well, I…" He took a millisecond to glance at Vanille, and as if this wasn't made clear enough before, holy crap, was she pretty. She certainly smelled sweet as well; everything about her was just so appealing. Suddenly, in his mind, an announcement was made; he was going to go after her despite Maqui's warning about her sister.
"Hope?"
"I'm fine!" He squeaked like a hamster in response.
Vanille giggled.
He loosened up. It was nice to know that she didn't find his awkwardness freaky, and this was more so the reason why he was attracted to her. The girl's carefree attitude was so refreshing, he could almost feel that he'd get 'fresher' the closer he was to her. And this freshness from her cute giggle somehow dispersed all the fears and doubts left in his heart. He let out a deep breath and started to talk normally again. "I'm fine, really. Maqui and my other friends originally planned to have breakfast somewhere here, and then we would go to the garage to work for the entire day, but then they called a little while ago…"
"Plans are cancelled?"
He nodded. "Yeah…"
She frowned in his place. "Aw, it's okay, don't be disappointed!"
Hope shook his head. "No, don't worry about it. So, um, how about it? Would you like to… eat with me?" He felt like a knight talking to a princess, as he had never in his life spoke like this to anyone before.
A smile returned to her face. "I'd be honoured to." She said politely. "I can't guarantee that hanging out with me will be fun, though, but I'll try not to be boring."
Smiling back, he almost had the urge to hold the girl's hand. This was a date, after all, no matter how indirect and one-sided it looked. But of course, he didn't have it in him to actually do it. Instead, he simply said, "C'mon, let's go. I know a good place upstairs."
"They're coming? Here?"
"And we're going to be questioned?" A soldier called out, "By the PSICOM?"
Amodar nodded calmly. "That's right, solider." The lieutenant was giving his usual, weekly-briefing with the Guardian Corps soldiers in the headquarters' coffee room. Usually, if any other higher-ups were present, they would do this formally in the meeting room like they should, but the man was rather lax with these typical cases.
"Sir, with all due respect," Another one called out, "What right does the Sanctum have to just jump into Bodhum's military business like that? I mean it rarely – sorry, it never bothered to even look at this town, so why—"
"The Sanctum is the Sanctum. It's the boss, and we have to listen to whoever's in command. Just like how you all have to listen to me."
Hearing that, they became speechless.
"Anyway, going back on topic, other than interrogating our men, they will be working alongside with us. More details will be given to you when they arrive, but the basic idea is that they will patrol with you, work with you during your shifts, and tail you like dogs, so behave yourself."
"What!"
"Is this a joke?"
"That's fucking bullshit!"
The volume getting out of control, Amodar raised a hand. "Quiet, men. I'm just as unsatisfied with this kind of planning as you all are, but, like I said, the Sanctum is the Sanctum. We, the Guardian Corps, are merely a branch of the PSICOM – a rather small branch, so…"
"So we have no choice huh?"
Amodar let out an expected sigh. "Unfortunately, no." He muttered. "Let's just hope that all will go well, and Bodhum won't turn into another Palumpolum."
Hearing that, whispers immediately filled the room. The town of Palumpolum, like Bodhum and any other city of Cocoon, had its own division of Guardian Corps. Not more than three months ago, the PSICOM gave a strikingly similar announcement to the port city – how they were supposed to question and work with the soldiers – and they ended up controlling the entire town, completely erasing the existence of their Guardian Corps at the same time. Right after that, Palumpolum was labelled as a quarantined zone; nobody was allowed to enter, exit, nor did anybody know what was going on inside, and no legitimate reason was given.
"… But why do you think they do that? Why do they suddenly occupy peaceful towns, and then isolate it from the world?" A soldier asked.
Amodar took a sip from his mug. "Who knows? Maybe some insane fugitive's on the loose – we get a lot of that. 'Cept they never come here. Or, they could be using peaceful towns as places for building WMDD."
"Uh… lieutenant, shouldn't we be concerned about this…?"
He grunted and rolled his eyes. "That was just an assumption, soldier."
Everyone in the room sighed in unison. Amodar was never one-hundred percent serious, yet he was a man of such high rank; sometimes, the soldiers had more trouble differentiating his real orders and sarcastic ones. Fortunately, the missions he had led by far were always successful.
"That," The lieutenant suddenly said in a far more serious voice, "Or the war's gone for the worse. They want to expand their territory, cover more ground, throw in more men all over the place to prevent terrorist attacks and whatnot."
The atmosphere suddenly grew thicker; the topic of war was never comfortable to begin with after all.
"Anyhow, the PSICOM will be arriving next Monday at around eighteen hours. Soldiers on shift at that time should standby for the first round of interrogation, which should last approximately an hour if lucky. After the talk, return to your patrols. The next shift will follow the same orders, and so on. Now, just because there are more people patrolling now, it doesn't mean you can slack off. Are we clear?"
For the most part, all remained quiet, while some of them shook their heads, but it was obvious that the news had completely killed his men's moods. Some other whispers such as 'they could be here forever' was audible.
The lieutenant nodded satisfyingly; it wasn't like he enjoyed giving these tedious speeches. "Good, that's all I have to announce. Dismissed. Get back to your patrols now."
He was rather proud to see that despite hearing such a depressing announcement, his men still followed his orders without showing signs of unwillingness. As more soldiers left the room, leaving only a few who were on standby for their shifts, Amodar spotted a certain pink-haired sergeant sitting restlessly on her chair in the corner. The corner of an eyebrow arched; usually, this young soldier would be the first to leave as soon as he finished his speeches. She was always in a hurry – a natural workaholic; she could never spare a minute. But today, for some reason, it looked like she was frozen, or, more accurately, dumbstruck.
"Sergeant?"
She jumped. Looking up and realizing that her superior was standing up and she was sitting down, Lightning blasted up like a rocket. "Sir, my apologies—"
"Whoa, whoa." His hands made a 'calm-down' gesture, "Easy, there, Sergeant Farron. Don't freak out, we can't have the most diligent of our soldiers losing it now, can we?"
He was trying to be funny, Lightning knew. Usually, she'd smile at his jokes out of respect, but right now, she couldn't find the mood to do so. She had more important things to worry about – way more important. "Sir," Lightning started quietly.
"What seems to be the problem?" The taller man asked cheerfully.
She wanted to respond with 'a lot of things', but it wasn't like sharing with him would help. This had to be dealt with by herself, nobody else in the world could help. She felt bad for lying, she had never done it before, especially to her lieutenant, but this was necessary. "I am feeling unwell." She said quietly, "Is it possible for me to get an early dismissal today?"
"…"
Damn it. That didn't sound 'unwell' at all. Must've been convincing as hell, Lightning. Nice going.
There was a short moment of pause, and then Amodar suddenly started, "It'd be irresponsible and selfish of me to say no if you're feeling sick." He smiled. "Go on, pack your stuff and get some rest when you get home. Don't hesitate to prolong your break if you're still unwell tomorrow."
Weight off her chest. Lightning breathed out. "Thank you, sir."
Amodar nodded kindly before heading for the exit. When he approached the door, he stopped abruptly and turned around, "By the way, sergeant," He said, "You are looking quite pale."
"…"
"I suggest you to actually go home and rest. Don't do anything that'll worsen your condition, now." The lieutenant concluded in a jolly manner and finally left the room.
… So he saw through her lie, huh? She sighed softly. But, truth to be told, Lightning was indeed feeling a bit woozy since morning, though something this small would go away by the end of the day – it wasn't anything serious. Something far more serious was Vanille's safety. She had to warn her about the PSICOM, she couldn't let them hurt her again. She had to protect her.
"Ice-cream in the morning?" Vanille laughed when the waitress brought a glass holding at least five levels of ice-cream to their table. "You're crazy, Hope!"
He grinned shyly. "You can't really blame me…" Licking his lips hungrily, Hope reached for his spoon, "I'm a growing boy, so it's natural for me to have such a weird appetite. Would you like to try? This seems a bit too big even for me…"
"Oh, you're just saying that because you want to share, don't you?" Vanille grinned back at him.
H-have I been seen through? Does she know? I-is she… hitting on me? He pinched himself mentally to make sure he wasn't dreaming. "N-no… I just thought that, you know… that you might, like, want to, uh…"
She broke into a soft chuckle. "Relax! I'm only playing around," Vanille picked up her own spoon, "But since you offered… don't mind if I do!"
To be honest, a little part of him wanted to be 'seen through' – it would take away the trouble of having to confess.
"I'll let you have some of my pancakes when it gets here later," She said before taking a spoonful of chocolate ice-cream into her mouth. "Mmm! Let's…" Vanille paused to swallow, "… let's put the ice-cream on the pancakes later!"
His face lit up. "That sounds good. I hope the pancakes are fresh and hot, though. Having the ice-cream melt on them like butter is the best. It's like eating crepe – a whole different dessert right there."
"You think so too?" She said avidly, "Onee-san said the same thing!"
"Onee-san…?" An angry, tall, intimidating woman with strawberry-blonde hair popped up in his mind, and, for some reason, she was glaring at him with hatred. "Oh, y-you mean…"
"Yep," She smiled, "The woman who stormed off like a little girl the day I bumped into you and Maqui." Placing down her spoon on a napkin, she went on, "Don't worry about her, though. She's always like that."
He could still remember how his heart froze in a temperature that was beyond the measure of a thermometer simply by meeting that woman's gaze. It was hell, literally. If anything, he would rather sit in a tub of boiling water for an hour than glance at those icy eyes for another second. "I-I almost thought I did something wrong when she looked at me like that." He laughed nervously.
"Nah, you didn't do anything wrong. It was me."
"Eh?"
She stuck her tongue out, almost as if she was ashamed. "You see… I was at fault for being so… um… close to you, so it's really natural for onee-san to be mad," Vanille bowed her head low and clapped her hands in front of her face, the action surprising the boy across the table. "I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to… like… t-touch you—"
His cheeks flushed crimson. Sitting up straight, he adjusted his mint-coloured neckerchief anxiously. "Er, w-well, it's not that much of a deal – I mean, you were just trying to help…"
"So… you're not mad?" Hands still together, Vanille looked up.
He shook his head. "But I think… I should be the one to apologize." Hope murmured, "I did ruin your handkerchief…"
"Oh, don't worry about it!" She chuckled, "I can always buy a new one!"
"No, that still isn't right…" He said. "I mean, my clumsiness was the reason for all of that, so… how about I treat you to this meal?"
"Treat… w-what… how does that even relate!" Vanille was deeply amused by this boy's politeness. She found him almost chivalric to be this nice. "Don't be so nice to me, Hope, or I'm going to fall for you!"
By the tone of her voice, it was clearly, one-hundred-percent, a joke. But, damn, his heart went ahead to throb like there was no tomorrow, like he just heard her confess to him, like… like the deepest desires in him came true.
"… Say, Hope, you're quite skilled at being an escort. I bet you have a ton of fan girls at school!"
"Egh—fan girls!" He exclaimed. Is that why the girls always look at me…?
Vanille laughed. "I'm right, am I not?"
He admitted defeat, though he wasn't going to say that out loud. The boy didn't want Vanille to know that she had competition, that was, if she actually had a crush on him.
"So I'm having a date with Mr. Popular, eh? I better watch myself… don't want any of those girls jump on me when I'm alone!"
"I—" I'll protect you – was what he wanted to say, but, instead, "I… wouldn't worry if I were you…" came out.
"Hmm? Why's that?"
He sighed. "I don't go to school here, you see. I'm only here to visit my techy-friends I met at a camp last year – I actually came from Palumpolum."
The mood to joke around disappeared. She suddenly felt a circuit of electricity run up her spine. The name of that city… she recognized it. Vanille knew that place. She knew that her mere few hours' stay at that city caused it—
"Truth is, I want to spend the remaining time of my summer back at home, but you heard about the news of some weird sickness spreading there, right?"
No… that's not the reason. It was no sickness, no disease, no virus; it's just the PSICOM…
She smiled lightly and nodded.
"It's been three months already," Hope poked his spoon at his ice-cream repeatedly. "School's starting in a month and everything… I hope they deal with it quicker."
"Don't worry, Hope," Vanille said. No matter how much she doubted her own words, she had to cheer the boy up, "I'm sure it'll be over real soon! You can use this time to focus on the vehicle you're' building with Maqui and everyone. And I'm sure you'll build something awesome by the end of summer."
He nodded. All of his friends here told him the exact same thing, but it felt different to hear it from her. "Thanks, Vanille-san." It felt way better. At the very least, her soft voice was warm enough to remind him of the people he loved back at home. "I'm fine as long as mom and dad are okay."
Vanille moved her hands under the table to hide them. They were trembling with fear. The thoughts of running through the streets of the port city, panicking, getting lost, seeing those armoured men… no, she wasn't afraid of that. Thinking about what she had done to those innocent people, what her simple presence had done to those people, to… to this innocent boy's parents—
"Your pancakes sure are taking long, aren't they? Should we ask the waiters what's taking them?"
His voice interrupted her troubling thoughts, and that was probably what she needed – something to draw her mind away. "Sure," Vanille tried to smile.
Hope nodded and raised an arm. "At this rate, we won't be able to eat the pancakes like crepe because the ice-cream's already melting like butter."
She faked a soft chuckle.
The day didn't go as well as she thought it would. After breakfast, she found it too hard to maintain her cheery self, and she didn't want to bring down the boy's mood when she was surrounded by a gloomy aura. In the end, they parted ways, and Vanille started to wander aimlessly around the mall – she still had things to buy, after all. Though, eventually, she ended up getting nothing; her feet seemed to have a life of their own, apparently. Before she knew it, she was back at the apartment; standing in front of the soldier's flat's entrance.
Vanille heaved a deep sigh.
Don't let it get to you, Vanille. You have to let it go.
Yeah. She was living a better life now; she had to cherish every moment. If she didn't, then she'd end up worrying her soldier. Lightning always acted as if she didn't care, but it was quite apparent that the woman always had an eye on her. The slightest hint of sadness, anxiety, or fear could stir the woman up, and then she would do everything she could to erase the negative feelings.
Vanille smiled. Everything she does can cheer me up. Finally, she placed her thumb on the scanner. Lightning had long registered her fingerprint; it was now another one of the keys to the house – the other one being the soldier's.
A dark, sunset-red light dyed the flat in an unpleasant and rusty orangey colour. The worst time of the day – sunset – something both she and Lightning hated. The only positive thing about this time was that Lightning would be home soon, and Vanille always looked forward to the moment she walked through that door. They would chat about the day as the girl cooked, and Lightning would try to grab a bite from whatever that was still cooking on the stove… then Vanille would scold her and she would laugh it off playfully. The days went by peacefully like that, and Vanille honestly believed that they could remain that way forever. That was up until now, when she was reminded of Palumpolum – a city where people had once lived like this. Their lives were changed, imprisoned – all because of her one, little visit.
She turned on the lights in the apartment, replacing the ugly colour with a brighter, white one. She was about to step out of the doorway and into the kitchen to prepare food, but then, when she removed her flip-flops, she saw Lightning's pair of boots placed clumsily beside the shelf. Lightning? She was home?
Vanille walked deeper into the flat and looked to the left at the living room. No, she wasn't watching TV. She looked to the right at the kitchen. No… she wasn't there – but the fridge was left open. "Uh oh," Vanille speed-walked her way around the counter; it was strange of Lightning to be so careless. Come to think of it, where was she—
"Oh my goodness!" Vanille exclaimed. Lightning was lying on the floor, breathing heavily. She quickly closed the fridge door and knelt down beside the soldier. Picking her up, she let Lightning rest on her shoulder. "Onee-san?" She called in a panic, "Onee-san! Wake up…!"
Vaguely, she could hear someone yelling at her. She didn't feel like answering that someone, however, as the only thing Lightning wanted right now was to strip off her annoying clothes and jump into a pool of freezing water. It was just too hot…
When Lightning's eyes opened slightly, Vanille sighed with relief. "Onee-san, you're really sick…"
She could barely see the girl with that murky vision she had right now. "No… I'm fine…"
"Fine? You passed out in the kitchen! How is that fine?" She placed her palm on the woman's forehead. "You were okay this morning… why are you suddenly…?"
Lightning tried to sit up, but it was like her muscles were lost in another dimension – that, and it didn't seem like her body wanted to obey her orders. "I…"
She didn't have the strength to carry the woman, but Vanille could definitely help her up. Letting one of Lightning's arms drape over her shoulders, she wrapped an arm around the woman's waist, subsequently making her stand up. Once stable, Vanille began to walk. "Onee-san, we need to get you to your room—"
"… I was running all over town," She said weakly, "… looking for you…"
Vanille blinked curiously. "Looking for me…? Why?"
Lightning tried to concentrate as her legs moved lazily with the girl's pace. "Because…" Because the PSICOM is coming.
"…?" The girl stayed quiet, awaiting an answer.
I need to protect you.
"Onee-san?"
I don't want anything to hurt you anymore.
She wanted to say it – she really did – but no… mentioning the PSICOM to her was far too risky. She couldn't let those memories come back again. Lightning sighed. The subject had to be changed, "… Because… I missed you." It wasn't entirely a lie, so she didn't feel guilty for saying it.
"Eh…?" Vanille almost stopped walking upon hearing that, but then she remembered, "… Onee-san, you're definitely sick…" And that was why she was talking so strangely. Reaching the soldier's room, Vanille kicked the door open lightly with her toes, and then guided Lightning to her bed.
"Thanks…" She said softly as she lied on the bed.
Vanille smiled. "Feels nice to get taken care of, doesn't it?" She pulled the covers over the woman and sat down beside her. This was only the second time she had seen Lightning so weak – the first time was the day after her birthday when she got that horrible hangover.
"Not really." The soldier muttered. "I'd rather be the one to take care of people."
"So taking responsibility is fun to you?"
The woman snorted. "I just don't want to depend on people… I get the feeling that I have to repay them… otherwise, there'd be an irritation in my heart that would never disappear unless—"
"Okay, okay," Vanille laughed. "Stop talking and get some rest. At this rate, you'll have no choice but to depend on people for everything."
No longer having the strength to argue, Lightning closed her eyes.
Vanille brushed away the pink bangs that covered the soldier's closed eyes. The woman was obviously restless, as it was easy to tell that she didn't get sick often. She was probably the type who got sick once every few years. "I'll make you some food now, okay?"
She nodded.
The girl took hold of Lightning's hand before standing up. "Is there anything else you need?"
Her eyes opened weakly. "I want to change out of these clothes."
Vanille scratched her cheek with a finger. "We should do that after you eat…" She said thoughtfully, "Then, I'll also wash your back to bring your temperature down."
Lightning's eyes opened completely. "W-wash my back?"
"Mhmm!" She hummed. "It works!"
"Uh… I don't think that's necessary…" Lightning was about to sit up to protest, but she was quickly pushed back down by the girl.
"Relax, onee-san. It'll feel good, I promise you."
The woman struggled to get up. "It's not that I'm worried about – I just…"
Vanille shook her head. Still holding Lightning down, she began reassuringly, "As much as you dislike it, onee-san, you need to listen to me, otherwise you'll never get well."
"But, Vanille…"
She was surprisingly stubborn – more so than she usually was – when sick, Vanille decided. "Don't be such a kid!" She half-whined, "I'm never cooking for you again if you don't listen!"
Now that was a dangerous threat. Lightning finally complied and fell silent. The argument was going nowhere anyway. Her top priority right now was that she had to recover, and she had to do it soon. The PSICOM's visit would undoubtedly bring some sort of impact on the girl, but for now, Lightning was going to keep it a secret.
She opened her eyes to look at the redhead. She was faking a look of anger at her, but beneath that demeanour, the soldier could feel Vanille's tender gaze and her soft smile.
Yes, that was it. Lightning couldn't bear to tell her because she wanted to see the smile she adored so much for a bit longer.
Well, I finally updated :P
Are your BODIES PREPARED for the next arc?
Please tell me how I'm doing so far. Do you like the fic? Do you hate it? Do you think it can improve (pacing/characterization/etc)? Do you like the direction it's heading for? The next arc depends on you guys, really. So feel free to leave me a review if you haven't already!
Oh, and I'd like to apologize if I haven't replied to your reviews. I'm being super lazy (as you can tell by the speed of my updates…)
One last thing: If you guys are interested, I'm revising "Empathy" (also an L/V fic) in the M section. Go check it out if you haven't :)