Micky woke long before Mike the next morning, which in itself was a rare occurrence. Micky laid awake beside his partner, watching the Texan sleep soundly while he went over the previous nights events in his head. Micky could hardly believe he'd seen Mike cry. Just thinking about it made Micky feel strange inside; when he first woke up, a large part of him thought it had all been a horrible dream.

When Mike's eyes flickered open, they were no longer bloodshot and puffy like they had been the night before - Micky couldn't help but think the Texan looked almost calm. Mike blinked a couple of times, looking up at Micky who was propped up on his elbow watching over him. After a few moments, Mike gave a small, shy smile.

Micky smiled back, reaching out and stroking Mike's hair gently. "Hey." He cooed softly.

"Hi." Mike said, his voice still a little groggy. The Texan cleared his throat before rolling onto his back, stretching as he did so. He turned to Micky again, looking up at the curly haired man. "How long have you been awake?"

"A little while." Micky replied as Mike got himself comfortable. "How are you feeling?"

"Not great." Mike answered honestly. "But better than before."

Micky's smile had faded, but he looked over his partner with love in his eyes. Micky wanted to talk, but he also didn't want to push Mike too hard after what had happened the night before.

"I feel stupid, to be honest..." Mike said quietly, looking away.

Micky frowned. "Why?"

"Why do you think?" Mike asked. He looked into Micky's eyes again, and Micky could see what looked like genuine shame written all over Mike's face.

"Because you... cried..?" Micky asked cautiously.

Mike looked away again, and Micky was pretty sure the Texan was blushing.

"Mike," Micky begun softly. "You shouldn't feel stupid. You have no reason to feel stupid. Last night... that needed to come out. If you keep your emotions bottled up like that forever, it'll end up driving you mad."

Mike sniffed hard, pulling himself up so he was in a half-sitting position. He reached behind and moved his pillow up to support his back against the headboard of the bed.

"I didn't want you to see me like that." Mike said regretfully.

Micky shook his head, sitting up also. "Mike, I'm your partner. We have so many secrets we have to keep from the rest of the world, but it doesn't have to be that way with each other." He said. "You can talk to me... I knew all along you weren't okay, as much as you tried to tell me that you were."

Mike closed his eyes, sighing deeply.

"It was horrible... seeing you like that." Micky said quietly. "But I'm glad I did, because the thought of you suffering on your own makes me feel sick."

Mike looked up, and the couple gazed at each other for a few moments. Mike's face looked sad again, and Micky was desperate to know what was on the Texan's mind.

Mike hung his head, playing with the quilt that covered them both. "You're too good to me..." He mumbled quietly before looking straight at Micky again. "I'm so sorry, Mick. I've been a nightmare this past week... Not callin' you when I came here, and not exactly being welcoming when you arrived. Just pushin' you away all the time... I don't know how you put up with me."

Micky tilted his head to the side. "Because I love you, you fool." He replied. "And I'm the one who should be sorry. I kept pushing you so hard... I never know when to just leave things alone. But everything makes so much more sense now."

Mike was silent, and Micky continued to watch the Texan. "Thank you for talking to me." Micky continued. "For-for telling me all that stuff about your parents... I know that couldn't have been easy for you."

Mike looked at his partner. "I know you don't agree with what my mom did, but I swear to ya Mick, she was only doin' what she thought was best." He said.

"I told you; it's okay." Micky stressed, narrowing his eyes. "She would've had her reasons. All anyone can ever do is what they think is right at the time."

Mike nodded, playing with the quilt again. "She was a good mom... she is a good mom." He said quietly. "And for what it's worth, my dad ain't a bad man, either. He just ain't a very good one."

Micky smiled sadly. "When was the last time you saw him?" He asked.

"Just after Christian was born." Mike replied, thinking back. "He came to visit, gave me a little bit of money to buy somethin' for the baby, and that was it."

"You haven't seen him since?" Micky questioned.

Mike shook his head. "Nope. Not even after Jonathon was born." He replied. "He sends cards, you know, Christmas and birthdays. He remembers the boys' birthdays, too. But I ain't seen him in years now. Before me and Phyllis got married, I hadn't seen him since I was about 18. And even then was the first time I'd seen him since he gave me the black eye that summer."

"I knew you didn't see him much, but I didn't realise it was like this." Micky said, feeling guilty that he'd never realised just how weak Mike's relationship with his father was.

"Hey, I don't want you feelin' bad about it." Mike said sternly. "It ain't no loss to me, and I told you that before. He's never been a huge part of my life. My parents split when I was only four, for Christ's sakes; I don't even really remember them bein' together. He's never been a constant in my life, and that's okay. I ain't hung-up about it. He's just some casual acquaintance to me. I had Ma, and I had Grandma and my aunts - I didn't need anyone else."

"How come you never talked about any of this before?" Micky wondered.

Mike shrugged. "I don't feel the need. It ain't a big deal to me." He said thoughtfully. He was silent for a few moments. "What I told you last night... there ain't a soul on earth who knows any of that. You... You're the only one who knows about it."

Micky felt both honoured and sad that he was the only one Mike had been able to confide in.

"But it's like I said, I had a good childhood. I was happy." Mike said firmly. "We didn't have much but we had enough. I had a great mom, and a wonderful grandmother - I didn't need anythin' else."

Micky smiled sympathetically, thinking about Mike's grandma. He sighed sadly, looking up at the Texan through his almond-shaped eyes. "How do you feel now your grandma is gone?" He asked gently. "How do you really feel?"

Mike was silent as he looked at his boy. He then looked ahead thoughtfully before turning to face Micky again. "It... it hurts." He finally said.

Micky gazed at Mike, watching as the Texan's eyes turned to sorrow.

"I can't believe I ain't ever gonna talk to her again." Mike continued. "I know I said that old people die, that grandparents die... but a part of me thought she would live forever. I never imagined my life without her in it."

Micky swallowed hard, relieved that Mike was finally opening up about his loss.

"She was... she was the strongest person I know." Mike said. "My grandfather died when I was little, I don't even remember him. But Grandma used to tell me so many stories about him... She used to talk about him like he was her entire world. But when she spoke about him, she never looked sad that he wasn't around anymore. There was never any sorrow in her eyes, or loss, or grief... She always looked so happy. It was like she was just pleased that she ever had the chance to know him in the first place."

Micky took a deep breath, moved by what Mike had just told him. Mike looked at his partner and smiled. "She really liked you." He said.

That comment caught Micky by surprise. "Really?" He asked. "She only met me once."

"Well you made quite an impression on her." Mike said. "She'd often ask after you. I mean, she'd ask after Peter and Davy too... but I dunno, I think she had a soft spot for you. She thought you were charming and funny when she met you."

Micky was totally shocked. "Seriously?"

Mike nodded, looking ahead and thinking back. "I don't know why you sound so surprised," He said, smiling at his partner. "You made quite an impression on me too."

Micky smiled. "I wish I could've known her better."

Mike hung his head, smiling sadly. "Me too." He said.

The couple were silent for a few moments.

"I should've been around more." Mike said quietly, his face looking sad again.

Micky frowned. "You visited all the time." He said.

Mike looked up, and Micky saw such guilt in his partner's eyes. Mike slowly shook his head. "Not enough." He said regretfully. "I went back to Texas what, four times a year maybe?"

"I'm sure it was more than that..." Micky said, his gaze falling.

"Not much more than that." Mike stated. His voice sounded sad and bitter, as if he was angry with himself. "I should've been there at the end."

"You were." Micky said, his head snapping up. "You saw her just a couple of weeks ago."

Mike shook his head, looking away.

"Mike, you wrote to her all the time." Micky stated. "There's no one else you would do that for. And she would've understood, I mean, your life is here now. Your kids, everything - she knew that. She was cool with that. And you were always calling and writing to her... I remember, back when we first started filming the show, you would always call her in our breaks on set. Or you would write her a letter. And I remember thinking it was so weird that you would spend time in between takes writing. I had no idea at first what it was you were doing. I asked you once, do you remember that?"

Mike looked at Micky blankly.

"Of course you don't remember." Micky said, looking back. "But I remember. I was always so interested in what you were doing, and I asked you once who you were writing to. You told me that if I ever saw you writing a letter, it would most probably be to your grandma. And that was years ago, babe. And it was always true; whenever I see you- saw you writing a letter, it was always to her. How many letters must you have sent her since you left Texas? Hundreds and hundreds. And I tell ya, I bet she knew more about your life than anyone here."

Mike stared at the quilt sadly.

"She knew how much you loved her, Mike." Micky said gently, causing the Texan to look up. "She knew. You were an amazing grandson. There's no way she wouldn't have been proud of you."

Mike drew in a deep, shaky breath before nodding his head slowly. Mike gazed at Micky, and the slightly younger man noticed Mike didn't look as troubled anymore.

Mike cleared his throat, composing himself. "Turns out she was more sick than we realised," He begun. "But she knew. She knew the end was coming, and she was ready for it."

Micky watched Mike carefully.

"Go look in my pants pocket." Mike said, nodding towards the pair of pants that was slung over the arm of a chair in the room.

Micky frowned curiously, but he did as Mike asked. Micky climbed out of bed and walked to the pants that Mike had worn for his grandmother's funeral the day before. Micky picked up the pants and shoved his hand into one of the pockets. He pulled out an envelope that simply read; 'Michael'.

Micky looked towards Mike, unsure what this letter was about.

"She knew she didn't have long left," Mike said, watching Micky as he re-approached the bed with the letter. "She wrote letters for the people closest to her; Mom, my aunts, and me."

Micky stared down at the envelope in his hand, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Mike. "What does it say?" He asked.

Mike shrugged. "I don't know. I ain't opened it yet."

"Do you want to read it now..?" Micky pressed.

Mike shook his head. "No." He replied without hesitation. "I don't know why."

"Well that's okay." Micky said. "There's no rush. You can read it whenever you're ready."

Mike sighed. "I don't know when I'll be ready." He admitted.

"You will be." Micky reassured him, gazing at his partner. "Once we're home and settled, and things start to calm down, you'll find the right moment. And if you want, I can be there with you when you read it. Otherwise you can just tell me to get out of your hair. Whatever you want."

Mike smiled. "You're a good boy, Mick." He said gently. Micky smiled back at the Texan. "Thank you for being here. I know I ain't made it easy for ya, but I'm so glad you came here to be with me. I... I need you. I-I know I ain't done a good job of showin' it, but I have always needed you."

Micky leaned forward, placing his hand on top of Mike's. "You've got me." He whispered.

Mike smiled sadly. "I'm glad you didn't listen to me when I told you not to come." He continued. "But I need you to go home now, Mick. You should go home today."

Micky frowned, surprised that Mike had said that after everything else he'd just said.

"This ain't me trying to push you away." Mike said firmly, looking his boy in the eye. "But I'm okay now, and if you stay here much longer, well... well it ain't gonna look good, Mick."

"I don't care about that." Micky said, scooting closer to Mike. "Nobody knows I'm here."

"But if we return home at the same time, people might find it weird." Mike said. "And it ain't just that. You need to be at home, Micky. I ain't your priority and nor should I be; suppose Samantha needs ya, and you ain't even in the same state?"

"Sammy is fine, I called her yesterday. She's totally okay." Micky stressed. "I wanna be here with you."

"I know you do." Mike squeezed Micky's hand. "But don't think I've forgotten about Samantha's appointment with the doctor on Monday morning. If you stay here with me, you'll miss it. That's why you need to go home."

Micky opened his mouth to speak, but instead he hung his head, sighing deeply. "I can stay another day at least. I can fly home tomorrow or something."

"Micky," Mike said in a calm yet firm tone which caused Micky to look up. "You need to go home today. Suppose your flight gets delayed or something? You need to be there for Samantha. And I'm fine now anyway, babe. Seriously I am. I ain't gonna go breakin' down or anything."

"I really don't want to leave you." Micky said sheepishly, memories of the previous night floating through his head. "Last night... I just-"

"Mick." Mike said, a small smile on his face. "I'm okay, darling. You being here... You've done more than enough already. I love you so much, but you should go home. I'm only gonna be a few days and then I'll be with ya again. This is about protecting us as much as anything else. You understand that, don't you?"

Micky sighed, nodding his head in agreement. "Okay." He said quietly.

Mike smiled, gently touching Micky's face. "I love you so much." He whispered. "You've been amazing this week."

"I haven't done anything." Micky said in a small voice.

"You've done more than you'll ever know." Mike replied honestly. "I'm just gonna be here for a little longer, to make sure Ma is okay."

"And who's going to make sure you're okay?" Micky wondered.

Mike smiled. It was a warm, loving smile, and although it did a little to ease Micky's mind, it couldn't get him to stop worrying completely.

"I promise I'll call you." Mike said. "I'm okay, Micky. I promise you I am."

Micky sighed, knowing there was no way Mike was going to back down.

Mike leaned forward, squeezing Micky's hand. "I love you."

"I love you too." Micky said. "You know you can talk to me about anything, don't you? I know it's not easy for you to open up, and I get that now, but...but I'm always here for you. I need you to know that."

"I do." Mike replied, stroking the side of Micky's face. "You're amazing."

Micky spent the morning with Mike before reluctantly heading to the airport to catch a flight home. Micky didn't want to leave, but he understood and accepted Mike's decision and logic.

Mike returned home Tuesday after spending another couple of days with his family. He'd called Micky each day they were a part, assuring his partner that he was just fine in Texas without him. Even so, both Micky and Mike were relieved to see each other, and the couple embraced when Mike arrived at his house to find Micky waiting for him.

After a long hug and a brief chat, Mike sat himself down in the back garden while Micky fetched them both a drink. Mike smiled as he saw the curly-haired man walk towards him carrying two glasses of cool, refreshing juice, and Micky sat down next to him.

"Thanks." Mike said as Micky handed him the glass.

"Are you glad to be home?" Micky wondered, taking a sip of juice.

Mike nodded. "I am," He replied. "I feel I did all I could there, you know. And Mom was okay when I left as well, which helped. I feel like its sorta sunk in for everyone now... The shock has worn off so we can deal with the reality. I think we're at peace with it now."

"That's good." Micky smiled. "I mean, I know that the grief doesn't just go away, but in time it does get easier. I know it's a cliché, but it's true."

Mike nodded his head again. "I know." He said, looking thoughtful. "And I'm okay... really, I am. And I know my mom's okay too, she's got my aunties and everything, so I feel okay about comin' home. I said I'd go visit in a few weeks again anyway."

Micky smiled, and the couple were silent for a few moments before Micky spoke up.

"I was thinking, uh- well I kinda had an idea," Micky begun, causing Mike to look at him curiously. "Obviously your grandma is buried in Texas and uh, well it's kinda far to go if you want to pay your respects or- or to put flowers on her grave and all that, obviously... so I was thinking that maybe we could do something for her here? Like maybe we could plant a tree in her honour or something, maybe it could have a plaque with her name on it or-or there doesn't need to be a plaque, really. I mean, I just thought it'd be good if you had somewhere close by that you could go if you wanna think about her or whatever. I mean, that's stupid, really - of course you don't need a specific place to go to think of her, because you'll be thinking about her all the time."

Micky felt his cheeks go a little red as Mike just stared at him. "That was a dumb idea." Micky said with a little laugh.

"No it wasn't." Mike replied. "That's a really nice idea, Micky."

Micky looked up. "Really?"

"Yeah." Mike said with a little smile. "Why would you- why would you think that was dumb?"

Micky shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know." He said, looking out over Mike's large back garden. "Maybe you could plant a tree here. Or maybe it would be better to plant it somewhere more public, you know, because you might not live here forever."

"That's true." Mike said thoughtfully.

"How about in Laurel Canyon Park?" Micky wondered. "That way you can go see it whenever you want."

Mike was silent, causing Micky to look at the Texan. Mike was watching Micky with a small smile on his face.

"You're lovely." Mike said softly, making Micky's heart flutter slightly. "I've never met anyone as thoughtful as you."

"Come on..." Micky blushed, letting out a small laugh. "I only suggested planting a tree."

"It's more than that." Mike said seriously. "You're lovely, Micky. And I think that is such a nice idea."

Micky smiled. He felt a little embarrassed, but at the same time he was pleased Mike liked his suggestion.

"I'll plant it in the park." Mike went on, nodding his head. "And I've also been thinking about what you said before, about us takin' a trip to that lake you were telling me about. I think we should go. And I'm happy to spend the night there, too."

"Really?" Micky asked. When Micky had made the suggestion of camping before, Mike wasn't exactly enthusiastic about the idea, so his change in attitude was a pleasant surprise for Micky.

"Yeah." Mike nodded. "As long as no one's around, obviously."

"Of course." Micky assured him. "But there's never anyone around. It'll just be the two of us."

Mike smiled. "I'd like to go soon then." He said. "It'll be nice to get away from everythin' for a little while."

"You'll really like it." Micky told him. "It's so quiet, the air is so fresh... it's a great place to clear your head."

Mike set his glass on the table and scooted along the bench closer to Micky. Mike rested his hand on Micky's thigh, gazing at the slightly younger man.

"What?" Micky asked with a little laugh, wondering why Mike was looking at him so intently.

"I love you." Mike replied seriously.

"I know you do." Micky rested his hand on top of the Texan's, squeezing it. "I just really want you to be okay."

"I am okay." Mike replied. "This past week has been really hard, but you've made it so much easier. You've... you've been my rock, Micky."

Micky couldn't help but frown. "I really don't think I've been anyone's rock before." He said a little awkwardly. "Rocks are hard... I'm not hard. I'm like the softest guy I know."

Mike's face lit up at that comment, and he beamed at Micky lovingly. Micky let out a little giggle, feeling quite embarrassed. "What now?" Micky asked.

Mike shook his head. "You're a silly boy." He said, still smiling adoringly at the curly haired man. Mike's face fell quickly though, and he suddenly looked wracked with guilt.

"What's the matter?" Micky asked, suddenly concerned by Mike's change in mood.

"I didn't even ask you about Samantha's appointment yesterday." Mike replied, looking a little horrified. "I've been so wrapped up in myself, I didn't even think to ask."

Micky was relieved that that was all Mike was worried about, but at the same time he couldn't understand why Mike felt so bad about it. "Hey, it's okay. It doesn't matter." Micky stressed. "It was just a routine check-up, it was no big deal. I drove her there and waited outside for her. And everything's good; the baby seems fine and healthy, so it's all okay."

"I still should've asked." Mike muttered, looking down.

"Mike, you've had bigger things to think about." Micky said, taking hold of Mike's chin and prompting him to lift his head. "Seriously, babe. It doesn't matter. You asked now, didn't you?"

Mike sighed, and Micky was touched by how guilty Mike looked.

Micky run his fingers through Mike's hair. "Please don't feel bad. It honestly wasn't a big deal." He said. "It's not like she gave birth and you didn't even ask how that went. It was just a check-up."

Mike blew out a breath. "Sorry." He said.

"Don't be sorry." Micky smiled. "You've just lost your grandmother. I think I can forgive you for my ex-girlfriend's doctor's appointment not being at the forefront of your mind."

"When you put it like that..." Mike said, scratching his head. "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologising." Micky laughed, resting his head on Mike's shoulder.

Mike wrapped his arms around Micky, pulling him close and kissing him on the top of his head. "You're my best friend in the world, boy. Do you know that?"

Micky lifted his head, giving his partner a cheesy grin. "I do know that. And just for the record, you're my best friend, too." He said.

Mike stroked the side of Micky's face, his expression softening. "Can I kiss you?" He whispered.

Micky felt giddy inside and nodded his head enthusiastically. Mike leaned in, gently pressing his lips against the younger man's and losing his fingers in Micky's curly hair. The couple kissed slowly and gently, with Micky placing his hand on the back of Mike's neck and brushing it lightly with the tips of his fingers.

When Mike pulled back, he gazed at Micky with the same intensity that always managed to flaw Micky. When Mike looked at him like this, Micky felt like Mike was looking into his very soul. Micky's cheeks flushed, and Mike smiled.

"I'm glad I'm home." Mike said, looking thoughtful. "I needed to be with my family, but I'm glad I'm here now. My mom has her sisters so I know she's okay. And I have you, so I know I'll be okay, too."

Micky was extremely touched by that comment. "I never want you to feel like you have to hold back around me." He said gently.

"I'll try not to." Mike assured him. "Opening up... it ain't somethin' that comes natural to me, but you- you've changed that a little, I guess. I feel like I'm more myself around you than I've ever been around anyone before. Even me."

"Maybe it's because we make such a good team," Micky wondered. "I mean, you keep my feet on the ground, and I help you come out of your shell. I think we work pretty well together."

Mike's smile returned. "I think you're probably right." He said.

The pair were silent. Mike picked up his glass again, taking a few more sips of the cold drink while Micky looked on in deep thought.

"You said something before I left Texas," Micky said. "You said that Samantha and the baby should be my priorty, and not you."

Mike looked at Micky. "I did say that."

"Well I want to say it's not true." Micky replied. "You're my priority just as much as the baby is. Well, the baby and Samantha, seeing as they're kind of a package deal."

Mike looked slightly uncomfortable.

"What I mean is, neither one is more important than the other." Micky continued. "I want to do what's right for Sammy and our baby, but I also want to do right by you, too."

"It's not as simple as that, Mick." Mike said awkwardly.

"Why not?" Micky questioned.

"Because- because it just ain't." Mike replied.

Micky looked ahead. "I think you're wrong." He said. "It's never going to be one or the other. I love you both. I mean- I don't love Sammy. Not like that, anyway. But I love the baby. Or I will do at least, when it's actually here..."

Micky scratched his head, feeling a little confused by his feelings and what he was actually trying to say.

"What I mean is," Micky went on. "If you had have asked me to stay with you in Texas, I would've stayed."

Mike shook his head. "No, you needed to be with Samantha." He said. "You need to make sure she understands that you'll always be there for her and the baby."

"But you needed me more than she did at that exact point." Micky stressed.

Mike closed his eyes, sighing deeply. "I told you I was okay, and I was. I don't- you don't have to do this, Micky."

"I do though." Micky said, staring at his partner with concern. "Because I don't ever want you to think it's a competition between you and the baby."

"I don't think there is a competition, Micky." Mike said gently. "That's the point; there is no competition. The baby comes first, and that's the way it should be."

"Is that the way it is with your kids?" Micky wondered. He wasn't accusing Mike of anything, he was just trying to understand. "There's no competition between me and your children?"

Mike looked as if someone had put itching powder in his shirt, he looked that uncomfortable. He completely tensed up, and Micky suddenly felt guilty for making his partner feel that way.

"I shouldn't have asked that, that wasn't fair." Micky replied. "Of course your kids come first, and I get that. I do. I'm sorry. I just- I don't know."

Although Mike still looked like he was sitting on hot coal, he did seem to relax a little bit. "It's okay, Micky." He stressed.

Micky picked at his fingernail awkwardly. "I've killed the mood." He muttered.

"No, you ain't." Mike reassured him. Micky looked up. "It's hard to explain what it's like havin' kids... You're responsible for 'em. Your decisions affect their lives. It's scary. It's so, so scary. And you'll do anything to protect them... you would die to protect them."

Micky nodded his head slowly, trying to understand what that must feel like.

Mike looked up. "But I would die to protect you, too." He admitted. "And I feel responsible for you as well."

Micky wasn't shocked that Mike felt that way, but hearing those words made his stomach twist and turn. Micky had never imagined anyone would feel that strongly about him, and to hear Mike speak so frankly moved Micky to his very core. Micky was unsure, however, about Mike feeling 'responcible' for him.

Micky frowned "You feel responsible for me?" He asked.

Mike looked away. "That's why I couldn't answer that question." He replied. "The kids come first, yeah... but it ain't as clear cut as that."

Micky tried to understand exactly what Mike meant. "Okay..." He said slowly. "Well then surely that's the same for me? I mean, you pretty much just said what I was trying to say. Or... you said that there was no competition between you and my baby. But you can't say the same for you?"

"It's complicated, Micky." Mike stressed. "I'm already a father. I went into this - us - as a father. You didn't. This is something you're gonna experience for the first time with us goin' on as well. That's a lot of pressure, Micky. That's a lot to take on."

"Yeah but I'm doing okay, aren't I?" Micky asked. "I'm juggling it well and that's the way it's going to stay. I told you from the start, this baby isn't going to change the way I feel about you. And if there's a day when you need me more than the baby does, then I will be there for you."

Mike looked at Micky and softened. He smiled and gave his head a small nod. Micky wasn't entirely sure Mike accepted his point, but he realised he'd said enough for now.

"I'm sorry I brought it up." Micky sighed. "I just wanted to make sure you know where I stand. And that's with you."

Mike squeezed hold of Micky's hand. "I'm a lucky man." He said. "And your baby is gonna be lucky too, having you as a dad."

Micky smiled nervously. "I hope so. I'm going to try my very best at least."

Mike smiled. "You're gonna do just fine, Mick."