Hi everyone! Nice to see you all again!

WARNING! There is some information I want to tell you about.

#If you share Draco's trigger of 'Miscarriage', please skim this chapter and skip the words located between the hashtag / pound symbols rather than read the whole thing as it does get 2 brief mentions.

There's a children's disease that can affect a pregnant person called the fifth disease. It's been mentioned before but I never put any details until now. To get the details, I simply Googled it and got the Wikipedia article in case you wanted to read it yourselves. #

******** ******** ******** Chapter 47 ******** ******** ********

"Harry…" Lucius' voice held a tone of foreboding as he entered the library looking for his son-in-law. He barely glanced at the shelves and portrait that lined the wall.

The brunette looked up at the sound of his name. "What can I do for you, Lucius?" He had once again been looking over some of the material from the university course on retail business.

"It has come to my attention that no decision has been made regarding Theodore's bedroom situation." The elder blond frowned. Harry seemed different but Lucius couldn't figure out why. "Have you spoken about it with Draco at all in the last few weeks?" He watched carefully as Harry's expression remained unchanged.

Harry sighed with a slight grimace. "I spoke to both Draco and Teddy. Teddy is uncertain as to his desires. He worries that Lyra will be lonely without him and Caelum if they are split by gender. Likewise he worries about being by himself. Draco has suggested that we wait until the new baby is born before making the final decision. Perhaps none of the children are ready yet for such a move."

"I understand. It may be for the best if we wait to separate them." Lucius sat beside his son-in-law, giving in to the desire to see Harry's face as they spoke. "I also wanted to alert you to a new worry."

"What's wrong?" Harry's brow furrowed. "Is everything alright with you and Cissa?"

"We are quite well, Harry." Lucius said carefully ignoring how he felt at the way Harry's eyes took on a tone of profound relief. "I'm afraid the issue is with your godson once again. He's had three instances of incontinence in as many days."

Harry had to think for a moment before the meaning of the large word popped into his head. "What should I do? Does he need a healer?"

"What he needs…" Lucius narrowed his gaze. "Is to feel that his grandmother's passing isn't the end of the world as he knows it."

Harry looked confused. "I don't understand. What does his having accidents have to do with Andy's d-death?"

"I took a few moments to speak with the boy, Harry." Lucius chose his words with care as he watched the younger man. "He told me to some extent what you said after Andromeda died – that he didn't have to worry and he had many people looking out for him and that we all love him. I applaud your approach to things of this nature as I unfortunately have no finesse with young children. When my father fell ill and died I was brutally honest with my son."

"Meaning what? You just told him outright that his grandfather died?" Harry asked. "You didn't ease into it like saying that he was sick and went to heaven. You didn't …" He trailed off as Lucius sighed, shaking his head.

"My father caught the Dragon Pox around the time of Draco's fifth birthday and lasted until Draco was just over seven years of age." Lucius frowned with a deeply worried look in his eyes. "He'd caught the disease from one of Draco's friends who'd visited the house while his parents had taken a holiday."

"You blamed his friend? Or did you blame Draco?" Harry asked trying to suppress his instinct to defend the man he loved in favor of hearing the older man out.

Lucius took a deep breath and confessed. "For the first few days I did indeed blame everyone under the sun and moon for his death. For all that we didn't have in common…for all that we disagreed and argued I did love my father." He paused, turning to look out the window. "I blamed the friend's parents for asking to leave the boy with us…Draco for becoming so excited at the idea of it that Cissa and I had almost no choice but to agree…the boy himself for daring to catch the disease in the first place…myself for not noticing the signs of sickness in the boy before his parents left him …even my father himself for taking charge of the boys while they played in the garden that weekend."

"It wasn't anyone's fault, Lucius." Harry told him softly.

"It was everyone's fault and no one's fault." The older man replied with a sad glint in his eye. "Circumstances conspired to take an elderly man's life and there was nothing any of the living could do…but I didn't have to snap and yell at the children. I didn't have to blame them to their little faces…" Lucius closed his eyes against the memory of Draco's small tearful face when he'd yelled that he hoped his son was happy now that his Grandpa Rax had passed. "I could've spent more time with him afterward instead of less…let him know, as Narcissa told me to more than a few times, that we were human – that we felt the same loss…I could've shared his grief but I didn't."

Harry frowned not connecting the dots.

"Today while Theodore was drawing, I took a peek at the page." Lucius stared at Harry. "Do you know how much a child can sometimes see that adults easily miss?"

Harry shook his head.

"Teddy drew a shape that he said was you as an owl. He left your color white but outlined in black." Lucius told him softly. "Next to you on the drawing was a light grey outline of what looked like another owl but larger…"

Harry closed his eyes and shook his head again – this time to deny what his father-in-law was saying.

"I asked if he was going to make the sketched owl a little darker so everyone would be able to see it and he shook his head. 'It's a ghost owl Uncle Luc,' he said. 'It's haunting Uncle Harry.'" Lucius whispered the last and couldn't hide how affected he had been by Teddy's words.

Harry looked back at Lucius with dismay pouring from his green eyes. "Again he's taking cues from me. I made sure he was taken care of – felt stable – or I thought I did."

"You've been very quiet lately, Harry – withdrawn…and it's likely because you're feeling emotional." Lucius reasoned. "Well so is Teddy, and children pick up easily on the feelings of the adults around them and that is part of the reason for his accidents. Harry, you told him he was safe. You told him he was loved. I believe this is him trying to return the favor."

Harry suddenly recalled something Teddy had said during their talk. "He asked me…I was so focused on him that I didn't understand…"

"Understand what?" Lucius jumped on this clue.

"He asked me if big people needed to be taken care of too." Harry said quietly running his hands through his hair.

"And you said…?" The older man prompted him.

Harry closed his eyes against the knowing look in his father-in-law's. "I said that everyone needs help sometimes."

"And you are correct, Harry." Lucius told him softly and then sighed. "I think it would be beneficial if you took some time – even just a day – away from everything." Harry's eyes flew open and he stood up to protest but Lucius cut him off. "This is only a suggestion, Harry. I am by no means throwing you out of your own home. I only wish to help you."

An unexpected throat clearing noise interrupted them. "Gentlemen, if I may be so bold…?"

Harry and Lucius exchanged a surprised glance before turning to face Abraxas' portrait.

"Harry, my boy, I think my son has a point." Abraxas' voice held a tone of gentle understanding. "I have seen you in many states of mind since Lucius and Narcissa gifted you a copy of my portrait. Recently you have indeed appeared haunted."

Harry sighed. "Being away from my loved ones will not help me get over losing yet another person I thought of as family."

A sad smile formed on the portrait's face. "Perhaps that is so…but a few hours spent in your own company with nobody to look after besides yourself could help a great deal. I suggest a solitary visit to the London townhouse. Altaira and I – as well as some of the other portraits – may be able to assist in the way of conversation."

Harry blinked as he considered the idea. "Just a few hours?"

Lucius watched silently as his father answered.

"Just a few hours." Abraxas confirmed lightly.

"What about Draco? I don't want to distress him." Harry frowned in the direction of the door.

"Draco will be fine, Harry." Lucius assured the brunette. "His mother and I will be with him and he will know where you are and how to reach you. I never intended to leave him in the dark. That would only give him unnecessary stress which, as someone pointed out to me several years ago, is a bad thing for pregnant people."

Harry gave a slight smile recalling the conversation in question. "Alright. As long as Draco is kept informed and can find me if he needs to…I guess I can take a day-trip."

"Good." Abraxas sighed happily and prepared to leave his frame. "I'll see you there, Harry."

Lucius picked up the book Harry had been reading and placed it back on the shelf before turning to his son-in-law. "I wish to know what you will say to Draco."

"I'd like you to be there when I speak to him anyway." Harry said. "I need to do a couple of things before I can leave."

Lucius nodded decisively. "I'll meet you in the other room then."

Returning the nod, Harry left the room quickly; making his way to the bedroom he and Draco shared. He walked directly to his own nightstand and opened the top drawer. Harry immediately found what he'd been looking for in the hidden compartment in the rear corner of the drawer – the two coins he and Draco had used during their first year together. He placed one in his pocket and clutched the other in his hand reminding himself that he'd only be away for a couple of hours…not even a full day…Draco probably wouldn't even have time to miss him. Not wanting to think about it any longer, Harry stood and walked out onto the balcony.

Narcissa glanced up from where she was watching Teddy and Caelum play.

Harry winced inwardly at the concern in her blue eyes – the blue eyes that matched his son's so closely. He sighed and went back into the house via the nursery doors. He didn't want to feel this pre-occupied by the deaths of his family members. He just couldn't help it. Harry stood between the twins' cribs and placed one of his hands on each. He treasured his children. He treasured his husband – no matter how they'd originally met and clashed for so long. He walked over and lightly touched the pillow on Teddy's bed. He treasured his godson too and hoped desperately to live up to his own expectations of what a godfather should do for his godson.

A decision was consciously made in that moment. Harry would take these few hours away to wallow in his self pity and when he came back home he'd let it all go and be more light-hearted – not let his losses get to him as much. He'd make sure to play with Lyra and the boys more often. He'd be sure to talk to them about the people he'd lost and they hadn't had a chance to meet. Harry's lips curved slightly at the thought that he could get past this depression. He didn't want to hurt his living family just because he missed the ones who had moved on to the next adventure and maybe… just maybe this little sojourn to London would help. He took a deep breath and walked down the stairs to find Draco.

Lucius was sipping a cup of tea when Harry joined them in the sitting room. He nodded politely and motioned with his eyes toward the room's other occupants.

Draco was casually cuddled up with his sleepy daughter who was just about to take a nap. He looked up to see his husband's eyes on him.

Harry called Dinki and asked her to take Lyra for a moment so Draco could join him on the couch. "I hate to disturb you, love, but I need to speak with you about something."

Draco recognized the serious tone in Harry's voice and handed Lyra into Dinki's keeping. "Is everything alright, Harry?"

"I'll be fine, Dragon, but at this moment…" The brunette tried to smile as he shrugged. "I'm just tired…and sad." He blinked away the urge to tear up. "I'm going to the London townhouse to talk with some of the portraits. Your father and grandfather think I need a few hours by myself to find my center and make peace with the loss of yet another member of our family. I just wanted to let you know where I'm going and make sure you know I'm coming back soon."

"How long will you be gone?" Draco couldn't help feeling anxious that his husband wouldn't be within the walls of their home.

"I'll be home by dinner." Harry didn't hesitate to take Draco's hand in his. He kissed his husband's cheek and then his hand and watched the grey eyes of his lover flick down to focus on the coin he'd slipped into his grasp.

Draco smiled and knew Harry would be alright. The brunette wasn't leaving him completely alone and had even given Draco the means to contact him if necessary. "Let me walk you to the floo."

Grateful that the blond understood, Harry nodded. They held hands as they approached the fireplace.

Draco pulled Harry's arms around him and felt the warmth of the love they shared. He pulled Harry back from leaving and called for Kreacher to bring his winter cloak.

Harry frowned in confusion but waited for his explanation.

"Remember when you gave me this pin?" Draco quietly asked as he removed the enchanted dragon pin from the cloak and thanked the elf before dismissing him.

Nodding Harry felt the memory their first Christmas come to him.

Draco pinned it to Harry's shirt. "Remember how I told you that I felt like I was being hugged when you attached it to my cloak?"

Touched by the thought, Harry nodded and hugged his husband. "I'll bring it back to you soon, love. I promise to see you again by dinner." He lowered his lips to cover Draco's and savored the taste of the other man. "I love you."

Draco stood calmly and watched Harry throw the floo powder and travel to the Malfoy London townhouse. When the brunette had disappeared he walked quickly back to sit with his father and eldest child. "Father? Tell me what led to this."

Lucius nodded slightly as he poured them both a cup of tea.

Harry took this floo trip almost worse than any other. He'd barely focused enough to recognize the Receiving Room at the Malfoys' London residence as he tumbled out of the fireplace.

Dooley popped up next to his newest Master and instantly fixed Harry up by banishing the soot from his clothing. He then bowed low. "Master Rax be telling Dooley that Master Harry be arriving soon. Master Harry's suite is ready but Master Rax asks that Master Harry proceed to the portrait gallery at his earliest convenience. Refreshments be offered in one hour."

Harry nodded to the head Malfoy elf. "It's nice to see you, Dooley. I'd like a few moments alone in the suite before I visit with the gallery, but I'll be along shortly."

The elf's nose brushed the floor before he straightened. "Dooley be informing Master Rax that Master Harry has arrived."

Harry didn't have time to comment as Dooley popped quickly out of his sight. Not quite sure how to proceed, he took a deep breath and brushed his finger across the dragon that was pinned to his shirt. He didn't feel the hug as Draco had but he knew he was loved by the simple gesture the blond had made of loaning the pin to him. Harry took a step forward and before he knew it he was facing the door to the suite he'd shared with Draco while they'd been in residence here. He opened it to find that – except for being neat and tidy – it was just as they'd left it that January morning two and a half years ago.

Harry walked in and took another deep breath as he wandered the room. It felt very strange to be here by himself. The quiet atmosphere unsettled him but Harry knew he was safe here so he sat on the couch and let the memories of that Christmas pour over him.

Getting back to his feet, Harry ran a hand through his hair and smiled. This trip was already helping his state of mind by reminding him of the simpler times; when he'd just had himself and one other person to worry about. His eyes swept the room to take in every corner. They lingered on the bed and replayed some of the wonderful nights he'd shared with his Dragon in marital bliss. With a smile on his face, Harry left the room again and made his way through the maze of hallways.

This time he stopped at the room where Andromeda had stayed with Teddy. He hesitated for a moment before turning the knob to let himself in. As he looked around the room, Harry recalled being upset with Andy because of how she'd treated Draco upon their first meeting and then he remembered how she'd apologized and proceeded to soften toward the entire Malfoy family. Harry remembered the gifts she'd given everyone that year and then remembered having tears in his eyes when, just weeks ago, he'd heard her bequeath the music box he'd given her that year to Narcissa. He recalled the many visits she'd made to the Malfoy manor and then Nettlestone over the last two years.

He forced himself to remember the more recent months of Andy and Teddy living with them and interacting on a daily – if not hourly – basis. She'd helped him understand Draco's second pregnancy – not to mention her help with the children… and she'd been such a loving woman that Harry would always love and miss her. Drawing a shaky breath, Harry wiped away a tear and tried to calm himself as he walked the rest of the way to the portrait gallery.

Draco paced the floor of his potions lab after checking on the vitamin potions that just needed to cool before he could fill the vials and store them for the next several weeks. He'd come here to check on the potions and also to be alone after speaking to his father.

He understood that Harry felt his losses very deeply and he could understand that his husband needed some time to himself to deal with his feelings on the matter. Draco had noticed the way Harry had become distant in the last couple of weeks but had thought the other man would come back to himself sooner rather than later. If this is what it took to settle Harry's spirit then he could endure a few short hours apart.

Draco had heard from his father about Teddy's drawing and he'd even seen it himself. It did indeed look like a spectral version of the object that was supposed to be Harry in owl form. 'Haunted'…that was unfortunately a very good description of Harry's recent state of mind. There'd been some days when he'd noticed red streaks in Harry's eyes – as if he'd had a sleepless night or two.

He sighed unconsciously stroking his belly as he worried over his beloved husband. Was there something different about this loss than the ones he'd faced during the war? Why couldn't Harry come to him? Why not talk to the man who he loved and who loved him back? Had Draco failed Harry in some way? Had he forgotten his duties as a spouse to share the burden of this most recent loss?

The baby kicked his hand as that thought went through his mind and Draco chuckled at his daughter's scolding. "I suppose you're right, little one. There are more questions than answers and negative thoughts don't do anyone any good." Draco sighed sadly. He pulled the coin from his pocket and held it tightly in his hand, staring at it until he couldn't take it anymore. He took his wand and was about to call Harry when the baby kicked again – this time in his bladder. Draco gasped in response and put his wand away as he hurried to reach the toilet.

When he'd finished in the bathroom, Draco decided to fire-call Pansy. Maybe they could visit for a while… That should take his mind off Harry.

"Harry!"

Harry smiled softly as he heard the Malfoy Portraits greet him. "Hello everyone!"

"Harry." Abraxas nodded to him from his frame. "Good of you to make it."

Next to Draco's grandfather stood a very worried looking Altaira. "Oh, Harry! I'm so happy to see you! And so very sorry to hear about Andromeda!"

Harry tried to smile reassuringly. "Thanks. I'm happy to see you too."

"We've all missed you, Harry!" One of Draco's great-great aunts called out flirtatiously.

"Hush, dearest." Her husband glared at her. "He's here for a reason – in case you've forgotten."

"Yes." Abraxas broke in. "He is here because I have seen his guilt begin to consume him."

"What in Merlin's name has he got to feel guilty about?" Lucius favorite uncle had even joined them this afternoon.

"It's Survivor's Guilt, Cas." Rax answered with a strange tone.

"Hello, Great-uncle Cassius." Harry said to him as he looked around for the armchair the elves usually set out for the living visitors. "Rax, what have you told them? Are they up to date?"

"Some of us do visit the Manor, dear boy." A haughty older woman spoke up from a frame Harry didn't recall ever seeing occupied.

He glanced at the tag and looked up at her. "Great-aunt Vega? I don't believe we've met!"

"Of course not!" Vega's eyebrow arched. "I'm usually at the Manor or the magical herbological conservatory that was founded in my name. When I heard the current heir's spouse would be visiting, I knew I simply must stay to meet you."

"I'm sorry to impose, madam." Harry bowed slightly as he sat in the chair he'd summoned from the other side of the room. "But it is lovely to meet you."

She gifted him with a smile and wink but didn't say anything else for the moment.

"I've only kept them informed up to a point, Harry." Rax told him. "Since Lucius and Narcissa moved into Nettlestone, I haven't visited here more than once a month."

"We know our darling Draco is pregnant again!" The flirtatious great aunt called out.

Her husband sighed and hissed at her. "We've known that since Christmas!"

"We've only gotten a basic overview of the last seven months or so, Harry." Altaira told him as she let Rax slip an arm around her waist.

"Yes, I've kept them informed of Draco's pregnancy and overall health as well as Lucius and Narcissa's move and the reason behind it. They've been informed that the children are doing well and I relayed a request to Lucius that they wish to meet the twins and new baby for Christmas this year."

"We'd like to see Young Teddy as well! I'm sure you'll have him with you, yes?" Cassius commented.

"Did Rax tell you all that Draco has reached level seven of his Potions Mastery?" Harry's eyes sparked with pride as he asked. "Did he tell you that I've completed the animagus transformation?"

"They knew about Draco because I'd told them that the next pregnancy was planned to occur during level seven of his training." Abraxas grinned. "Also, I'd informed them of that and your transformation because I was very proud of you boys."

"As am I, my fellow fowl." Cassius joined in with a chuckle.

Harry mirrored Rax's expression as he gazed up at the other animagus.

Altaira gasped. "There! The light is in his eyes!"

Rax nodded at her comment. "You see?"

"He needs to focus on life." Cassius said gravely.

"And on the living!" Vega looked on with understanding.

Harry frowned. "Then why am I here talking to all of you instead of home with my family?"

"Because, at times, the living need to recall the ones they've lost in order to resist being distracted by the effects of said loss." Rax told him, his voice laced with intensity. "This is that time for you, Harry, because your husband and children need you! You need them also – that is true… but what you really need is to balance their needs with your own. One of the things everyone needs is time to themselves. In your case, you need time to indulge your love and longing for the family members who've fallen."

"And you need to do that before you can refocus your time and energy on your living family." Vega agreed with a nod.

Cassius stared down at him. "Talk to us, Harry…it will help."

"Harry…" Altaira requested softly. "I want you to tell us of the people you've called family."

"But I've told you some things!" Harry protested weakly. "Rax knows it all! Didn't he tell you? Why rehash it?"

"Please Harry?" She asked.

After a deep sigh Harry nodded. "Well, my parents were Lily and James Potter…"

He lost himself in the telling of his story. He told them all about Sirius and Remus and how they'd been close friends of his parents throughout school. He told them about James, Sirius and Peter becoming animagi to help Remus with his furry little problem.

"That's only part of why I wanted to make the transformation myself." Harry confessed as Dooley set out a small snack tray for him. "See, I've always heard that it's an uncommon ability and I really do love seeing how far I can push the limits of my magic."

"Draco told me once that you were able to cast a Patronus at thirteen years of age." Rax smirked.

Harry nodded while nibbling on a cracker. "That's just one example and I didn't do it just to push my limits! I did it because the Dementors that were placed just outside of Hogwarts by the Ministry to catch Sirius affected me horribly."

He recounted the tale of the night his parents died and told them how he'd been raised by his aunt and uncle but had never really treated like he was a member of their family. Then he told them how he'd been unofficially adopted by the Weasleys after becoming friends with Ron but also that he'd always wanted a family of his own. Harry added that Remus had told him stories of his adventures with James and the other Marauders – stories that he'd need to tell Teddy one day.

He talked about how he'd felt to see Sirius at the end of his fourth year after coming back from the graveyard incident and then with a sad smile he recounted the day that he'd been taken to Grimmauld Place and how Molly and Sirius had almost gone to blows over him. With tears in his eyes, Harry confessed that he still couldn't believe that he'd forgotten the mirror Sirius had given him on his way to school before fifth year. If he'd only remembered it Sirius might still be here!

Over and over he told of his beloved family members or friends and the ways he could've saved them if he'd only been there or knew something he hadn't known. If only Cedric had obeyed Harry rather than question him when he'd said they needed to get back to the Tri-Wizard Cup, Pettigrew might not have gotten a good enough aim. If only Harry had procured some antivenin and gotten to the boat house sooner, Snape might've lived! If only Dumbledore had not cast Petrificus on him, he could've fought in the older man's place!

The list was long and by the end of their conversation, Harry and several of the portraits were in tears. He took a sip of cool water and brushed his fingers over Draco's pin.

The portraits consoled each other in their frames and soon calmed. Abraxas and Altaira were the two closest to Harry so the older portraits remained quiet as they seemed about to speak.

"There are a lot of things I think of that way too, Harry…" Altaira told him softly. "If only…"

She paused to lean backward into her brother's comforting arms.

Those words intrigued the young brunette. "Go on…please? What's your 'if only'?"

Rax stepped in to interrupt but Altaira calmed him with a light touch of her painted hand.

"Its fine, Abraxas…truly…if it will sooth him…" She whispered softly to her brother before turning to Harry with an expression of despair that soon changed to become a plea for understanding. "If only there had been more information about my condition during my living years… If only we'd known how to properly treat it… perhaps if I'd stayed on bed-rest rather than getting up and visiting friends or family…If only I'd had time enough to see my daughter born…If only I'd gotten the chance to meet her – name her officially."

Harry's eyes filled as he heard the sadness in her voice. "What was your condition?"

"Draco told me during one of our conversations, if I recall correctly…" Rax sighed as if resigned to speaking of this most hated subject. "His friend Theodore Nott's wife suffered of it."

"No it was Gregory's bride." Altaira corrected him.

##MI##

"The fifth disease…" Harry breathed as a chill ran the length of his spine.

Altaira nodded. "In our time it had no true name until someone a year or so after my death gave it a scientific term that I cannot recall."

"The healer had told her it was alright to get up from bed and visit loved ones. She told us there was little risk if she ate well, took the proper potions and stayed near a floo in case of emergencies." Rax hugged Altaira as he spoke. "Do you know what it does?"

Harry nodded gravely. He and Draco had asked their healer when they'd found out about Parvati. In most people the fifth disease caused a skin irritation or rash that looked as if the person in question had been slapped in the face but during a pregnancy the child can go into cardiac arrest possibly causing spontaneous miscarriage. "It's not usually fatal though."

"No but it caused me great distress to lose my child. The third month had almost passed and when I felt my darling Vana stir uncharacteristically, I panicked myself." Altaira explained to him. "I began to bleed overmuch and hemorrhaged."

"The healer tried everything possible to save her and remove the child." Rax gripped his sister's hand. "There was too much blood…"

"And so I passed into the next grand adventure…as your Headmaster said." Altaira sighed. "Thank the Goddess my husband's family did not suffer a brush with it and young Gregory's wife did not share my fate."

The room fell quiet for a moment before something struck Harry. "You said you didn't 'officially' name her…but then, in the very next sentence, you said 'my darling Vana'…"

"My husband had given me leave to name girl children while he would name the boys." Altaira nodded wistfully. "So I had a name preference that I began to use in my private moments with her…Silvana."

"What a lovely name…" Harry commented softly. Elegant…Sophisticated… "It fits well with Altaira…What was your husband's name?"

"Linden…" She did not speak again until Harry was leaving and even then all she said was that she hoped he came to visit more often.

Rax gave Harry tips on managing his grief and promised to be there for him at his own home if he needed to talk more.

On his way to the floo, Harry visited the other rooms where he recalled Andromeda's presence but he was much calmer this time. His last stop was the library, where he quietly but with much care looked over the family tapestry. A few hours later, when Harry felt ready to return home, he used the coin to tell Draco that he was finished in London and then took some powder from Dooley to go home feeling much better than when he left.

##MI##

Draco felt something in his pocket become warm and realized this meant Harry was calling him. He jumped up from his place at Marcus and Pansy's small table and pulled the coin out to look at it. Looking back at his friends he knew they saw the worry in his eyes. "Harry needed time to himself. I told you that. He's just let me know he's on his way back."

"Do you want to go?" Pansy asked softly. "Only it feels like forever since we've seen you."

Draco was torn. He'd missed his friends but on the other hand Harry needed him. "May I ask him to join us?"

Marcus grinned with understanding. "Of course."

Draco cast the spell to change the coin and asked Harry to join him here at Hogwarts.

Moments later Harry was stepping out of the floo and into his lover's arms. "How are you, Love?"

Draco couldn't find words. Harry – the one who was clearly going through a difficult time – was still asking about him! "I'm alright, Harry. We need to talk later but other than that, I'm fine."

"What are you doing over here?" Harry kissed his husband's forehead and clutched him tightly. "I thought you were going to be with the kids and your parents."

"I came to visit Pansy because I thought that a little time with my friends would keep my mind busy…and then we got word that Lavender is in labor." Draco told him with a shrug. "I was right that the visit would distract me and Pansy was just saying how much she's missed me."

Harry smiled at Draco and nodded. "I should've expected that you would need to keep busy. You worry almost as much as I do."

"Good to see you, Harry!" Marcus waved him inside to the sitting area. "How was your day?"

That drew a tight smile from Harry but he answered amiably. "Not the worst I've ever had but also not the best."

Draco sighed as he led Harry to the love seat. "Theo should be in touch soon. It wasn't long after I got here that he fire-called about Lav."

"Is it terrible of me that I just want to sit here with you?" Harry said pulling Draco into his lap.

The blond smiled and just called him a sap before going on with his conversation. Just as the pair were beginning to think about leaving, the floo sputtered and Theo's head popped into view.

"Violet just got here ten minutes ago! Violet Eden Nott! She's gorgeous and you guys have to come over this weekend to see her!" He disappeared as quickly as he'd come.

Pansy and Draco cracked up while Marcus was left with a bemused smirk. Harry just closed his eyes and thanked Merlin that his friends were doing so well.

It wasn't long after Theo's announcement that Harry and Draco said their goodbyes and returned to Nettlestone Estate for dinner.

Lucius and Narcissa seemed to understand Harry's need to leave discussion of the day's events for later because they said nothing as they watched the children rush to welcome him home. Over the next few hours, Lucius did note that his son-in-law took extra care to listen as Teddy spoke to him during the evening meal and Caelum interjected random words here and there. He saw Harry cuddle with Lyra before helping to put the children to bed and felt the peaceful mood return to the house. He owed his father's portrait an apology. He'd thought a conversation alone couldn't possibly repair Harry's peace of mind but it appeared that he was wrong.

The adults met in Harry's study after the children had fallen asleep. Lucius and Narcissa sat in armchairs while Harry and Draco occupied the settee.

"I'm sure you're all wondering how it went today…" Harry started quietly. "I went through the house visiting the rooms where I remembered Andromeda's presence most…as well as Draco's."

"Mine?" The blond was perplexed.

"Yes – well…I missed you." Harry smirked at his husband. "And the twins and Teddy, of course."

"That's all well and good, Harry, but what we want to know is…did it help you?" Narcissa asked him.

Lucius told his wife. "I was watching during dinner, Cissy. I think it did."

"It both did and didn't help." Harry admitted softly as he settled one arm across the back of the settee. "I spoke to the portraits about all of the people who've died. They listened and sympathized. They told me I was more benefitted by keeping my focus mostly on the living. In order to steady my focus where it belongs, they believe I need to periodically…" He trailed off for a moment before finding the words he'd been looking for. "…wallow in self-pity."

Draco sighed and settled against Harry's chest allowing one of his husband's arms to curl around his shoulder. "It's not wallowing to spend time remembering your dead. It's tradition… and everyone needs to do it once in a while for their own peace of mind."

Harry laid his head against Draco's closing his eyes. "On the up side, I know what I want for my birthday…"

"Oh?" Narcissa jumped on his proclamation.

"I'd like a copy of Altaira's portrait for the library." Harry said softly. "She misses Rax when he's here. If her portrait could join him sometimes, she'd be less lonely and we'd have more meaningful conversations without having to visit the London townhouse."

"How did it not help?" Lucius asked.

"Well, it helped because I was able to release my pent up emotions…the ones I was repressing because I thought I had to be strong and control myself." Harry confessed. "But it also was a bit unhelpful because I feel like I was so focused on the past that I didn't move forward from the war as much as I'd thought."

"This was an important step, Harry. You needed to feel the losses of the past before you could move on to face the present and future." Draco unknowingly echoed his ancestors. "There will be no more repressing emotions. I'm here for you and we will talk more…about everything… no matter how much it hurts to do so."

Nodding, Harry held tightly to his lover as he accepted the blond's pronouncement. "I missed you."

"Me too…and for longer than just today." Draco told him softly.

Lucius motioned to his wife. "Well, I daresay it's time for us to retire for the evening. Harry, I'm glad your trip helped at least a little."

Harry nodded. "Thanks. It means a lot that you cared enough to say something."

Draco watched his parents leave the room and sighed as the door closed behind them. After a moment, the blond sat up to look at Harry as he spoke again. "They just wanted to get out of here before we started getting emotional."

Harry snorted lightly. "I guess we did sound likely to get mushy…"

Draco smirked but quickly lost all humor. "You've been quiet for the last few weeks, Harry. You said we'd talk. You said we'd be a solid couple – fighting the daily battles and being there for each other. You vowed to take care of me but my vows said that too. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't let me off the hook, you know…and I had a moment today when I thought maybe I'd failed you…"

Harry's green eyes widened. "Oh Dragon, no!"

"And it wasn't a pleasant thought, Harry." Draco glared at the brunette. "I love you and I don't want to let you down that way."

Harry's heart fell. "I'm so sorry you felt like that. I want you to know that I don't think you've failed me in any way, Dragon."

Draco thought about that for a moment. "You take such wonderful care of me and the children, Harry, and I want – no – I need to take care of you in turn."

"How can I help you do that without burdening you? I don't want to cause you stress, love." Harry looked into Draco's eyes.

"Being quiet and avoiding the subject is more stressful – not less. I loved Andy too, Harry." His silver eyes were filled with unshed tears. "I miss her too. Our grief over her loss is a burden we all bear and talking about it – sharing that grief – is what lessens the burden while keeping it to ourselves only makes it heavier."

Harry couldn't stop himself from looking away. "I'm so sorry, Draco. I…"

"No. No more words, Harry." Draco shook his head. "You tried and failed to handle your grief alone. Now you have to try another way. Talk to me. Talk to my mother or even the portraits. Talk to Molly Weasley or Hermione and Ron. When he's older, you can even talk to Teddy."

Harry only nodded his agreement before he felt Draco come close and embrace him. Harry let the warmth of his husband's love wrap around him until he felt himself let go. Suddenly, Harry began to cry and he brought his arms up to return Draco's hug even as his face became buried in the blond's neck. He cried for himself and all he'd been through because he'd never really allowed it before. He cried for his parents who'd been killed before he'd known them and for Sirius and Remus who he'd only known for a few short years. He cried for the friends he'd known and lost in the war. He cried for Andy who'd lived through the war and endured such close relatives passing as her husband and daughter and son-in-law and then he cried for Altaira and her baby because they'd not had a chance to meet each other much less him.

Draco held Harry tightly and as he felt his shirt become wet he let a few of his own tears fall too. Finally! Finally Harry had gathered the courage to depend on him more fully. Finally Draco could be a real partner in this marriage.

When Harry calmed, he felt peaceful – as if a huge weight had lifted from his chest. He lifted his head from Draco's shoulder and looked into glistening silver eyes. "I think I know what I want our daughter's name to be…"

Draco's eyebrow rose at the sound of his lover's voice and grinned because he couldn't detect a single sign of sadness or distress. "Tell me."

Harry shook his head. "Not yet. I want to do some research first."

"Well, I hope that can wait for the morning because I'm tired." Draco said standing up.

"Not too tired I hope…" Harry stood and pressed himself up against his lover. "It's just occurred to me that we've not been intimate over the last few weeks."

Now Draco knew Harry was feeling better. He smiled as Harry's arms pulled him back against his muscular chest. He loved Harry's dominant nature and felt himself melting into the other man. "I don't know…I'm not sure I can muster the strength for that." He teased.

Harry smirked. He knew when Draco meant it and when he was just having him on. "I'll just have to see if I can energize you then."

Draco chuckled as Harry's mouth settled at the base of his neck, but the chuckle soon changed into a moan.

Harry picked Draco up and took him to their bedroom where they made soft sweet love before falling into slumber.

If you skipped the #section# all you missed was that Altaira contracted the fifth disease with the worst result and the names of her husband and child which are Linden and Silvana.