Ch 4 Bori

Tori's POV

It's Friday and I remember my sleepover with Beck istonight. I can't help but feel guilty that I am the reason Beck is leaving Jade. At least I suspect it is, we did kiss. But it was one kiss. One kiss has me wondering if we have always been more than friends. Like star crossed lovers, predestined by the gods.

I didn't initiate that kiss, Beck did. The truth is I want more, but I feel like that is selfish somehow. I don't think I love him? Oh this is so complicated. Who am I kidding, perhaps I have always been a little jealous of Jade.

Ever since that moment Beck asked her out at my pool party. That was the worst birthday ever, I got everything I wanted accepted Beck. I saw the way he looked at Jade and held her; I wanted that. I longed to be that girl, have I out grown this desire?

Beck is in my grasp now, reaching out to me. Letting me know it's okay for them to break up. But do I want to be more than friends?

He's that goofy guy that has always been there. Even on family vacations. Our families are so close; we always travel to Canada, New England and every National Park imaginable together. We have had amazing experiences together. He has been like a big brother at times and a mysterious love interest at others. I don't know when we crossed the line; did our parents care if we dated?

My mother would love it. "You and Beck would make cute babies." I can almost hear her say. She always wanted Beck for a son. Trina would rip my eyes out if she knew I even kissed him.

Tonightwill be different;tonightI will back track with Beck. We are just best friends, who watch movies and nothing more. I'm scared to fall for what I don't deserve.

Beck's POV

Oh man, how do I break it off with Jade? Or perhaps I should just see how things go between Tori and I, before I make that hard decision. She is going out of town after all and this gives me the chance to test where Tori and I stand. Perhaps all of this is in my head.

I relive that kiss in my head, I think she kissed me back. I would like to believe she did. The thought of that makes me a happy man.

I head to Sitcowitz's class, and roll my eyes. One more class period until the weekend, until freedom. I know I should be excited to go to this school. However, I grow bored. It's no longer challenging me and I want to be pushed further. I want to do method acting, not just these improv games.

My thoughts are intruded by Andre, "Hey, man what's up?"

"Nothing, much." I growl.

"You sure. Cause Tori kind of told me you two kissed," he whispered.

"She told you?" I say.

"Yeah, but only me. She didn't want to get the ladies involved and cause drama for you."

"That's nice of her I suppose."

"How do you feel about her, Beck?" Andre asks concerned.

"I am still figuring that out. I want to break up with Jade."

I say out loud.

"And why do you want to break up with me, what have I done?" I hear Jade's voice behind me. I feel my insides cringe with guilt and slight disgust.

Andre leaves the scene too afraid he would say something regrettable. I stand there silent, hoping the bell would ring to save me from talking to Jade. I am over her. She is gorgeous. I hate the bullying. But I want to kiss her.

Conflicting emotions soon consume me and I don't know what else to do. Jade drags my sorry ass to the janitors closet to "talk!"

"Why do you want to end us, BECK?" She glares into my soul as I hear the bell ring.

"Honestly Jade. I don't feel the chemistry anymore. I am not sure I ever did. You were just a girl I thought I could grow to love. But I don't even love you."

Tears start to roll down her face as eye liner follows. "What are you saying?"

"I don't want you to cry Jade. I didn't want to end our relationship like this. But you were so controlling over my life and I just can't be with you any longer."

"That hurts Beck. I thought we had something. But I guess it was all one sided and it was always one sided. You never loved me, you were always too busy looking at Vega."

"Don't bring Tori into this." I yelled.

"Oh please, Beck. I see the way you look at her. Practically drooling your gaze down the hall."

"That's enough, Jade. We are over will you just leave me be."

I ditch class and head to my RV. I am a bit tempted to cancel my plans with Tori. I feel so horrible for how our break up went. I wanted to only test waters with Tori and maybe end it with Jade. If things went amazingly well with Tori I was going to end it with Jade by taking her out to dinner and doing one more night of her favourite things.

No more gothic movies or late night conversations. No more snuggles and strangling. No more threats and bullying. No more. I take down all her pictures and throw them away. I get out my pack of cigs and take a few hits of nicotine. Puffing away my lungs as a dragon; defiling my temple with its smoky haze.

(Please review I want to know if this story is boring)