Author Dedication- This short one-shot is dedicated once again to my dear friend, LilyBolt! It's because of a certain email this morning that I even considered writing something like this, but as soon as I read it, I just knew it had to be done as I could see the scene play out so clearly in my mind's eye! So before I get back to writing my next traumatic story, my friend – you know what I'm talking about, lol – I think writing a non-traumatic, non-angsty story would be good for the both of us while we continue to wait for Season 10…and since I'm home sick for the next couple of days with acute bronchitis, it gives me the opportunity to do just that!
A/N- I think by now, most of us – or at least a good portion of us – have seen the bts pictures posted of a very dirty, practically scratched up Impala. Knowing that Demon!Dean in Season 10, first of all, doesn't care about Baby is one thing; but also hearing that he won't care about Sam – and the fact that he went after him with an axe – is another thing altogether and thanks to a certain friend, this little one-shot came to be!
Summary: Season 10 AU – An apology. Could two simple words really be enough to start the healing in the brother's relationship? It never occurred to Dean until now just how forgiving his little brother really was.
I'm Sorry
Written by: Erin
The memories were as clear as day as Dean Winchester stood, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, staring at his beloved 1967 Chevy Impala as she sat parked in the Bunker garage. It had been over 6 months since he had been able to feel anything that even came close to guilt and remorse, and now that he was able to feel it again, he knew that he deserved it.
After all, he had been a powerful demon for a long period of time; he had nearly killed his little brother; he had killed so many innocent people in his time as a demon and if it hadn't been for Sam's faith in him and his stubbornness, he would have still been out there enjoying this new way of life and not giving a rat's ass about who lived or died.
After everything that he had done, long before he had taken on the Mark of Cain, Dean knew that getting himself cured and back to being a human again, was the rightful punishment for him. He had hurt and betrayed Sammy in more ways then one and the guilt was slowly starting to eat him alive…and to top it off, he knew remembered as clear as day that he had been the one to hurt his brother.
Both physically and emotionally.
So on top of the betrayal Sam had felt after finding out about Gadreel's possession, he now was living with the memory that his older brother had literally attempted to take an axe to his head and had even called him a "monster" yet again. He had been the one to cause Sam's shoulder to be dislocated not even a month ago, and was the very reason his brother was still in pain. Even if his baby brother didn't want to admit it to Dean, the older Winchester knew without asking that Sam still had not forgiven him; and who could blame him?
His green eyes misting over with tears that he refused to let fall, Dean let out a long sigh as he continued staring at the beloved car that had always been a home for him and Sam for most of their lives; the car that he had always taken pride in. She was his Baby; she was the one who had helped Sam gain control back from Lucifer right before jumping into the Cage. She was a hero…and he hadn't taken care of her.
Just like he hadn't taken care of his brother.
He had broken so many promises this past year and a half and he didn't know how anyone could ever forgive him for it?
The silence was suddenly broken when the side door leading back into the Bunker opened and Dean heard footsteps coming towards him. Without even looking to see who it was, Dean waited until the footsteps stopped and he felt his little brother's large, hazel eyes staring at him before Sam's voice echoed through the garage.
"Hey…Do you want me to pass you the tools while you work on her?"
Eyebrows arching in surprise at the question, as that was the last thing Dean had expected Sam to ask him, the older brother slowly turned around and looked over at Sam. His green eyes met his little brother's soft, hazel ones before they lowered and noticed the toolbox that was held in Sam's left hand. Dean was silent was he watched his brother smile gently at him before setting the toolbox down at his feet,
"We need to get her back in shape, you know?"
For the first time noticing that both Sam's voice and his eyes weren't filled with fear or disappointment – or even a spark of anger – Dean felt the tears that were brimming in his eyes start to fall down his face and without saying a word, he walked straight towards his brother and, being careful with Sam's injured arm, grabbed him tightly in a large bear hug.
As he felt Sam cling tightly to him in return, Dean closed his eyes as he tried to blink back more tears that were threatening to fall. Finally finding his voice, the older brother quietly whispered into Sam's shoulder,
"Sammy…I'm-I'm so, so sorry…"
Feeling Sam nod his head in silent reply, but heard a choked sob coming from his brother, Dean tightened his arms around Sam's shoulders and added,
"For everything, little brother…I don't even know where to begin to tell you how sorry I am…" Feeling his brother's shoulders start to shake slightly, Dean closed his eyes and continued,
"For Gadreel…for betraying you and lying to you…this whole Mark of Cain and demon business that I put you through this past year-"
"I know, Dean," Sam quietly interrupted through his own tears as he was overcome with so much emotion right now that it took everything in him to just speak,
"I know you are, and-"
"Don't say that it's all okay, cause it's not, Sam," Dean interrupted, finally releasing his little brother and looking him straight in the eye,
"It's not-"
"I wasn't gonna say it was," Sam shook his head and a tiny smile graced his face and one of his dimples appeared,
"I was gonna say that it's forgiven, Dean."
His eyebrows furrowing together in confusion, the older brother frowned as he attempted to take in Sam's words,
"Pardon?"
"It's forgiven," Sam repeated,
"Now you just need to forgive yourself, that's all…"
"After everything I did and said to you, Sammy…just like that?" Dean arched an eyebrow, looking straight at his brother to find any signs that he wasn't telling the truth.
"An apology is all that was needed, Dean," Sam replied, watching as his big brother still looked so confused,
"I just needed you to see things from my point of view, and I wish things didn't have to get so ugly between us over the months, but we're getting past that, Dean." He was silent for a moment before adding,
"We'll be okay."
"You sure, Sammy?" Dean's voice was low as he questioned his brother one final time,
"We'll really be okay?"
"Yeah," Sam smiled as he reached over and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder, squeezing it gently before reaching back for the toolbox that was still at their feet and held it up so that Dean could see it,
"Now what'dya say we get working on fixing her up, huh?"
For the first time in what felt like ages, the older Winchester felt some of the tension and stress – and even a little bit of the guilt – leave his body and with a smile, Dean nodded in reply and watched as Sam once more set the toolbox back on the floor before pulling over a nearby cooler. His eyes watching his brother, Dean grinned as Sam opened the cooler and pulled out two beer bottles, one of which he handed to him before closing the lid and sitting down.
Maybe there still was a ways to go before things were really and truly healed between the brothers; there was still so much talking to do, so much that needed to be said. But for the first time, Dean really started to think that maybe he and Sam were on the same page finally and despite the fact that was still a ways to go in healing their relationship, it didn't seem impossible now that apologies were spoken and forgiveness was offered.
Maybe things really would be alright.
The End
