8

Meanwhile at the hotel, soon after Sheldon took the bus to CalTech

There's a knock at the door. Missy opens it to find Amy Farrah Fowler, her right hand outstretched in greeting. Missy ignores the gesture.

"Hi. Um, we didn't actually officially meet yesterday. I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm Sheldon's girlfriend. He's probably told you a great deal about me."

"Not at first. But when I asked him about some of the stuff in his Daily Interraction Log he filled in some of the blanks."

"I refuse to believe Sheldon permitted you to read his Daily Interaction Log. He never let me read it and he respects my opinion much more than he respects yours."

"Yeah, that sounds about right. Or at least it used to."

"I don't understand."

"I know that all of you folks have weird family situations and y'all don't act normal when a family crisis comes up. Us Coopers aren't like that. When one of us is in trouble we circle the wagons. We don't throw the one in trouble to the wolves like y'all did. Yeah, I was going through crap in my marriage and had a brand new baby, but I could still see my little brother was in world of trouble. All the Coopers zoomed in right away to help Shelly. I mean, we couldn't fix his troubles with the science-y stuff. He'll have to figure that out on his own eventually. But we could make sure he felt safe and loved. So we did that for him until he could stand on his own two feet again."

"I could have done that for him."

"Sorry to be the one to tell you, but you're one of the big reasons he ran away in the first place. I would think that someone with as big a brain as you have would have figured that out by now."

"You are quite wrong, Sheldon left because he was having an academic difficulty exacerbated by changes in Leonard and Penny's evolving relationship and habitation paradigm."

"Yeah. And you were pressurin' him to do a whole bunch of stuff he didn't want to do. My brother can be very stubborn. I know that. Again, if you know him at all, you know that he likes to come around to an idea on his own. If you pressure him he just shuts down."

"He was gradually adjusting to the progress our relationship required."

"Why?"

"Because I requested it of him."

"When."

"When we signed our relationship agreement."

"So you've been pressurin' him to be more physical almost from the moment it began?"

"You're making me sound like something I am not."

"Am I?"

"I love Sheldon and I'm the best girlfriend he will ever have."

"Yeah, well so far you're the only one he's ever had."

"My point."

"It's not a good thing."

"Are you implying that Sheldon should have additional girlfriends?"

"What I'm out and out sayin' is that Sheldon should have other girlfriends. Girlfriends that are not you."

"I fail to understand how you could possibly have formed a negative opinion of me since we have only just met."

"I formed a negative opinion of you and everyone else who were supposedly Shelly's friends when I found my brother sittin' outside my front door cryin' three months ago. It was two days before he'd say anything. After a week we could get him to hold together long enough for a phone call to let you people think he was okay but that was about it."

"I had no idea. Why didn't you tell us any of this? We could have helped."

"I can't believe you still don't get it. You're the reason he was like that. All of you. You broke him. You were his friends and you didn't just let this happen to him. You actively did it to him. You and Leonard. And Penny but Penny's in almost as bad a shape as Sheldon and she's trying to cover it with her drinking."

"Wait! You are completely wrong on that account. Penny is deeply and hopelessly in love with Leonard. She is happier than I've ever seen her. I fully expect to be the Maid of Honor at my bestie's wedding."

"Yup. You are hopelessly deluded. I can see there's no point in talkin' to you at all. So I'm just gonna lay it all out there. You are not good for my brother. You are not his girlfriend and I will die before I let you be. I can take care of and protect two babies just as easy as one so don't try me."

"Sheldon loves me."

"I'd be happy to put that on your tombstone. By the way, how the hell did you know where we were? Sheldon said he wasn't tellin' anyone but Penny where we were stayin'."

"I, um, have an app on my phone."

"That does what?"

"It keeps track of where my friends are through their cell phones."

"And exactly how many friends are you currently keeping track of?"

"T-t-t-t-two."

"I wonder if I can guess which two people you fuckin' lojacked."

"I just like to know where they are in case they need me."

"Give me your phone."

"What?"

"Give me your phone. I won't say it again."

Amy handed Missy her phone. Missy put it on the floor and, appreciating that she was wearing her boots, stomped the phone into pieces."

"Missy, why did you do that?"

"Stop stalkin' Sheldon. And for that matter stop stalkin' Penny too. It's creepy. Now get the hell out."

"I would appreciate it if you did not share this conversation with Sheldon or Penny."

"We're not friends, sugar. I will share it with whomever I damn well please."