Micky had taken to fatherhood like a duck to water, and the next month flew by for the new parents. Micky was loving every minute of being a dad; even the nights where Ami would scream for hours on end Micky felt grateful to be there and to be a part of his daughter's life - especially after coming so close to missing out on it all.

Micky still had his off-days where he would feel his depression creep up and try to consume him, but having Ami and Samantha around gave him the perfect distraction from his woes and the strength to battle through those bad days. Seeing his baby daughter's beautiful, happy face made Micky's worries slip into the background.

Micky was in Samantha's bedroom with Ami, dressing her ready for bed after giving her a bath.

"You love your baths, don't you?" Micky asked the baby as he buttoned-up her little pink all-in-one. "And you're always such a good girl! When you're a little bit bigger I'm going to take you swimming, would you like that? Would you like Daddy to take you swimming?"

Micky held up the clean little girl in front of his face and beamed at her. "Aren't you gorgeous. You're the most beautiful little girl in the whole wide world." He gushed, bringing the baby forward and blowing a raspberry on her cheek, causing the baby to make a sort of laughing sound. "Now, are you going to go to sleep like a good girl?" He asked, carrying her to her crib next to Samantha's bed. "Of course you are. You're always a good girl. You're the goodest and prettiest little girl in the world."

Micky looked up and noticed Samantha standing in the doorway watching them. He smiled when he spotted his ex-girlfriend. "Look, Ami. Mommy's come to kiss you goodnight."

Samantha smiled as she walked into the room, approaching the dad and daughter. Micky held Ami out to Samantha, and Samantha kissed her daughter on the cheek. "Sleep tight, beautiful." She cooed.

Micky carefully laid Ami in her crib and tucked her in. "Sweet dreams, princess." Micky whispered, stroking her fine blonde hair gently. "Mommy and Daddy love you so so much."

The two parents watched over the little girl for a few moments before leaving her to sleep. Micky closed the door behind them and smiled at Samantha. "She gets prettier every day, have you noticed that?" He asked.

"Micky, you say this every day." Samantha laughed. "And yes, I have noticed."

Micky grinned. "Do you wanna see what's on TV?" He asked.

Samantha's expression turned more serious. "I thought maybe we could talk."

Micky frowned. "Sure, okay. Are you alright?" He said, feeling a little nervous.

"Everything is fine." Samantha replied. "Let's go sit down."

The former couple headed downstairs and sat down in the lounge.

"What's up?" Micky asked as he plopped himself down on the couch.

Samantha looked a little pained as she sat herself down beside Micky. "I was just thinking that maybe it's nearly time for Ami and I to, you know, move on."

Micky looked at Samantha blankly. "Move on?"

"Yeah... I mean move out. Move back to my house." Samantha replied awkwardly.

Micky panicked. "W-Why?" He asked, his voice going up an octave. "Have I done something wrong?"

"No, no, you haven't done anything wrong." Samantha stressed. "You've been great. Actually, you've been better than great; you've been amazing."

"Then why do you want to leave?" Micky asked, trying desperately not to get too distressed at the thought of Ami and Samantha leaving.

"This was only ever meant to be a temporary thing, Micky." Samantha said calmly. "Two or three months, that's what you said."

"It hasn't been two or three months." Micky replied flatly. "Ami is not quite six weeks old. That's not two months and it's certainly not three."

Samantha closed her eyes and sighed. "I've been here two months now. And I just- I just think if I stay much longer things are going to get complicated."

"Why?" Micky asked with a frown. "How? We make a good team, don't we? We've been doing great at this whole parenting thing."

"I know we have." Samantha sighed. "But... but we're not a couple, Micky. We're not a family, not really. And the longer me and Ami stay here, the harder it'll be for us to leave."

"Then don't leave." Micky suggested quickly. "Stay here. There's no rush for you to go anywhere."

Samantha closed her eyes again. She looked stressed and uncomfortable. "It's not that simple, Micky." She said.

"Why isn't it?" Micky asked. "We get along well, we have a baby together - what's the problem?"

"I just told you. We're not a couple and this whole thing is just- it's weird, Micky." Samantha stressed.

"So what if it's weird? It works for us so who cares if it's a bit unconventional?" Micky hit back.

Samantha rubbed her head.

"I don't get what the problem is." Micky went on. He still felt a little panicked at the idea of Samantha and Ami leaving, but he was trying his upmost to make sure that didn't happen. "If I've done something wrong then tell me so I can put it right. You don't have to leave."

"I told you, you haven't done anything wrong." Samantha responded. "But Micky, we can't stay like this forever. You've been...you've been amazing. You're such an amazing dad to our little girl and I couldn't be happier with how you are around her. After everything we went through... after the way you were before Christmas, I never thought you'd be able to be as good as you have been, but you've totally proven me wrong."

"So why do you want to go?" Micky asked in a small voice.

Samantha looked into her lap as she tried to think of the right words. "I've tried really hard to accept the way you are." She said quietly, not looking at her ex-partner. "But...but there's going to come a time when you want to move on, and I just don't know how I'd feel about you..." She trailed off, picking at a frill on her dress. "About you bringing men back here."

Micky felt his cheeks burn red. "That's not going to happen." He stressed. "I'm not- I'm not interested in any of that. I'm not interested in dating or a relationship or anything."

Samantha looked up. "It's not going to be like that forever, Micky." She said. "There's going to come a time when you want to start living your life again."

Micky shook his head. "I don't want to see anyone. I'm not- I'm not going to bring guys back here. I'm not going to bring anyone back here. I'm only interested in you and Ami. I don't want a relationship or any of that shit."

"Because you're still in love with your ex?" Samantha questioned.

Micky felt his face burn even brighter. "I-I- it doesn't matter why. It doesn't matter about anything because I don't care and I'm not going to bring anyone back here." He said.

"But you won't feel like this forever, that's what I'm trying to tell you." Samantha stressed.

"Well what about you, what about when you want to start dating again?" Micky asked. "Because I wouldn't care, you know. I mean, I would care- I'd want him to be a good guy who'd treat you right but apart from that it doesn't matter. I don't- I don't get why this is an issue. At this point in time I can't see me ever being with anyone else ever again. It's not on my radar."

"And what if you change your mind, Micky? Say I keep living here and in two months time you meet someone you really like. Then what?" Samantha asked.

Micky was fairly certain that wouldn't happen but he knew he had to give an answer all the same. "Then I'd deal with it. Or I'd keep it separate, if that's what you wanted." He said. "What do you think I'm going to do, Sammy? Start bringing random men back here and fucking them under our daughter's nose?"

Now it was Samantha's turn to blush, and she looked a bit disgusted at the suggestion. "That's not what I meant."

"I don't even know for sure that I'm totally gay anyway, not that that should have anything to do with anything else anyway." Micky said. "So would it be different if I was bringing girls back here? Would it be such a problem then?"

"Yes." Samantha blurted out.

Micky was a little surprised. "Would it?"

Samantha rubbed her face with her hands, clearly agitated and stressed out by the way the conversation had turned. "Yes it would." She admitted.

Micky was taken aback - that wasn't the answer he was expecting. "Well then I wouldn't bring girls back here either." He said, unsure what else he could say. "Not that I have any plans for any of that anyway. I told you, I'm not interested in seeing anyone."

Samantha leaned forward, burying her face in her hands and sighing deeply. Micky too was starting to get flustered, and he sat back on the couch with his arms folded.

"If you think I'm such a good dad then I don't understand why you want to take my daughter away from me." Micky said bluntly.

Samantha pulled her face out of her hands and shot Micky an unimpressed look. "I am not taking her away from you." She hit back. "I live ten minutes away from you, Micky. You could see her whenever you want. I would never try to come between you both and you know it."

"I won't be seeing her whenever I want because she won't be here with me!" Micky said, raising his voice and leaning forward. "I don't want to be one of those dads who only get to see their kids at weekends, I don't want that! I want things to stay as they are. I want to be able to put her to bed every night and see her first thing every morning. If she cries I want to be there, I don't want to be in a different house, in a different street, in a different neighbourhood!"

Samantha pinched the top of her nose. "You knew this would have to happen one day, Micky." She said, desperate to try and keep calm - she didn't want this to turn into a full-blown argument. "This was a temporary arrangement that you suggested. You said this could be for a couple of months while we figure out how to be parents together. Well we've figured it out, Micky, and I have a house that is sitting there empty waiting for me to move back into it."

"Well sell it." Micky said childishly. "Sell it and move in here permanently. You're both comfortable here, Ami is happy here - this is her home. Why don't you both stay here permanently?"

Samantha scrunched her face up in disbelief. "Micky, we're not a couple! How could you think this could ever work in the long run?"

"We'll make it work!" Micky hit back. He reached out and grabbed hold of Samantha's hands. "We've made it work so far, haven't we? Well why couldn't we make it work in the future too?"

Samantha almost looked defeated, and Micky noticed her eyes were filling with tears. She pulled her hands from Micky's grasp. "It could've been this way. You could've had this - all of this - but you chose him." She said, trying to stop her lip from wobbling. "I told you I wanted us to get back together when I first told you I was pregnant. I told you I wanted us to be a family but you said no. And I understand that, I get that now. I get that you loved someone else, that you love someone else... I get that. I get it, but I can't ignore it. You can't have it all, Micky. You can't always have Ami if you can't have all of me... I'm not just the mother of your child. I'm not just some part of a package deal that you only want because it contains your daughter. I don't want to just be here in the background while you have everything you want, and I don't have what I want. That's never going to work, Micky."

Micky stared at Samantha, his eyes full of sadness and his mouth down-turned. He felt terrible hearing Samantha's words, but he had no idea what he was supposed to say.

"You might be able to handle it if I decide to move on with my life and start seeing someone else, but I can't do the same for you." Samantha confessed, her eyes still shimmering with tears as she looked down. "Man or woman... I can't do it."

"What are you saying?" Micky asked quietly.

Samantha looked up. "I still have feelings for you." She admitted. "I thought I was over it, but seeing how great you are with our daughter every day... I can never get over you while I'm living here. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm not trying to take Ami away from you. I'm really glad that we got to spend the first six weeks of our baby's life together, it was good for all three of us and I have no regrets about staying here. I'm so happy that you and Ami have been able to bond, and there's no way I would ever try to break that bond... But it's time for me to go, Micky."

Micky was stunned; he'd never for even a moment considered that Samantha still had feelings for him - even though she'd never said she was over him. Micky was struck by how selfish he'd been just assuming that Samantha was happy with their arrangement and that they could carry on like this forever with no complications.

Micky hung his head in defeat, knowing he had no right to continue trying to convince Samantha to stay with him. "I didn't know." He whispered. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Samantha said, sniffing hard. When Micky looked up Samantha gave him a small smile. "Like I said, I have no regrets about living here these past couple of months. And honestly, you can still see Ami whenever you want."

Micky was silent. Although he knew he could no longer argue his case for Samantha and Ami to stay, he also knew he couldn't pretend to be okay with them leaving when in actuality he was feeling absolutely devastated.

Samantha took hold of Micky's hand again. "This was always going to happen, Micky." She assured him. "I don't mean we're going to leave right this second. I thought we could stay until Monday or something, so you could spend your birthday with Ami."

Micky closed his eyes slowly and sighed sadly. He'd been dreading his birthday on Sunday - which was only 5 days away - and knowing that Samantha and his daughter would be moving out the day after made him dread it even more.

"Or we could go before then," Samantha suggested, causing Micky to open his eyes. "If you wanted to throw a party or something, I mean. Me and Ami could always get out of your hair for the evening if you wanted to have friends over."

Micky shook his head, a sad frown on his boyish face. "I don't want you to get out of my hair." He said almost pathetically. "I told you I don't want a party or anything. All I want to do is spend my birthday with my little girl."

Samantha nodded her head slowly. "Okay." She said.

The room went quiet and after a few moments Samantha pulled her hands away from Micky's. The former couple sat there in silence, and Micky's mind was racing; he felt guilty that he'd been so unaware of Samantha's feelings for him, and he imagined what it would be like living with Mike without them being an actual couple. That thought alone made Micky feel uneasy, and it only succeeded in heightening his pain for his ex-girlfriend.

"I don't want things to be awkward." Samantha finally said.

Micky shook his head slowly. "They won't be." He told her.

Samantha smiled weakly. She patted Micky on the thigh in a friendly manner before rising to her feet. "I think I might have an early night." She said.

Micky looked up at Samantha. "Oh... okay."

Samantha smiled at Micky sympathetically. "I'll see you in the morning." She said.

Micky nodded. "Yeah... night, Sammy."

"Night, Micky."

Samantha left the room - leaving Micky alone with his thoughts. Micky felt totally empty as he stared ahead and tried to absorb the fact that in a week's time Ami and Samantha would no longer be living with him.

Micky had foolishly never thought about Samantha and Ami moving out. Since Samantha had moved in, that had been it - Micky had never thought about what would happen next. Since Ami's arrival, Micky hadn't been able to picture not having her there with him on a day to day basis, and he realised now how wrong he'd been to be so blind to the inevitable.

But Micky had been living in the moment, and a future without Ami and Samantha living in his house hadn't crossed his mind. He realised this was the same as what he'd done when he was in Mike; he hadn't often thought about their future other than thinking about their future together. All the other details - such as what would happen if people found out about them - were just swept under the carpet. And when Micky had finally faced up to the future - when he talked about potentially telling his mother and family about his and Mike's relationship - that very same relationship ended up falling apart.

Micky couldn't help but feel like he was back to square one and needed to attempt to re-start his life all over again. Having Samantha and Ami there with him had been the fresh start he needed to get over his recklessness before Christmas, but he couldn't help but wonder what he'd do to get over this new hiccup.

Micky walked around like a moody teenager for the next several days, unable to shake his disappointment that Samantha and Ami would be moving out soon. Samantha had tried her best to carry on as normal, and she'd often make comments about how Micky would still be able to see Ami "all the time." But while Micky didn't blame Samantha for wanting to move out, he couldn't help but feel a little resentment that she was taking his daughter away from him - even if she would only be ten minutes down the road.

Micky tried his best to lift his mood on his birthday - for the sake of his family if not himself - but Micky found if difficult to even feign enthusiasm. Micky was usually excited about birthdays, but this year Micky had been dreading it. All he could think about was that he'd spent his birthday the year before with Mike. He remembered the birthday party he threw and how even though he and Mike had rowed afterwards about Micky's drunken behaviour, Micky couldn't help but think he'd do anything to get that time back again. Knowing that he'd be "losing" his daughter the very next day made this birthday even more disappointing than he'd expected.

So all Micky could do was force a smile when his mother, step father and little sisters visited him. Micky wasn't particularly in the mood for company - all he really wanted to do was spend time with Ami on his own - but he knew he needed to make an effort at least.

A few of Micky's closest friends - including Davy - persuaded him to come out for a few birthday drinks that evening. Micky had hardly been out since he'd gotten himself "better" and Samantha and Ami had been living with him; he was paranoid about allowing himself to get too drunk and end up doing something stupid again. Micky was also concerned that he would bump into someone he didn't want to see; Tony perhaps, or maybe one of Tony's friends or any other man Micky had slept with that he couldn't recall. Micky had seen his friends a few times since he'd gotten himself back on the straight and narrow, but he was still feeling pretty ashamed about his antics and he was seriously worried about what people thought of him. But Micky thought that maybe a few quiet drinks with a handful of his closest friends might help shift his dark mood.

Unfortunately for Micky, he was wrong.

Instead of having a laugh with his friends, Micky seemed to drag everyone else down with him. He ended up moaning about his situation with Samantha and expressing his woes about having his daughter "taken away from him". His friends tried their best to cheer up their downbeat buddy, but it was all in vain - Micky was miserable.

When Micky's friend Ric made a joke about how "at least you won't have to listen to a screaming baby every night", Micky snapped at his friend and caused a seriously awkward atmosphere to cover the table. Even Davy told Micky he needed to lighten up and be thankful that he got to be a part of Ami's life in the first place, but that did little to help Micky's mood.

In the end, Micky decided to leave early. He knew the only way he'd be able to enjoy himself was to get totally drunk, but he knew he wouldn't be able to achieve that under the watchful eyes of his friends - especially Davy, who seemed to be monitoring what Micky was drinking and watching him like a hawk. Micky did apologise for putting a downer on the evening and snapping at his friends, but none of them could convince Micky to stay - Micky needed to be on his own.

When Micky arrived home he did something he wasn't particularly proud of, and it was something that he hadn't done in a long time; he raided his drinks cabinet. Micky took a large bottle of scotch upstairs and shut himself in his bedroom. He knew it was pathetic, and he knew it was weak, but Micky's desire to drink was the highest it had been in a long time, and he was totally unable to resist the temptation.

So Micky got drunk. On his own. In his bedroom on his birthday. He knew it was embarrassing, but he didn't care. Micky put the TV in his bedroom on quietly and laid flat out on his bed drinking scotch straight from the bottle. Micky was soon too drunk to care about how utterly embarrassing this was, but it was hardly the first time he'd gotten drunk at home on his own.

The next day, Micky felt pretty terrible - it'd been ages since he'd had a hangover and he certainly didn't miss the feeling. Micky ended up sleeping until gone noon when he was finally woken by Samantha.

"Micky?" Samantha called quietly, shaking the curly haired man from his sleep.

Micky groaned. "What?" He asked bluntly.

"It's 12:30," Samantha replied. "I thought you'd want to spend some time with Ami before we left."

Micky looked up at Samantha through bleary eyes before rolling over and burying his face in the pillow.

"Are you hung-over?" Samantha questioned, taking a step back.

"No." Micky mumbled.

"Then how come you're still in bed?" Samantha asked.

Although Micky used to sleep until 11am at the earliest, since Ami had been born he'd been getting up much earlier to get his daughter ready for the day ahead.

"Go away." Micky groaned. "I'm tired."

"I heard you get in just before midnight," Samantha's voice sounded confused. "You'd only been out a couple of hours, you can't have gotten drunk then."

"I wasn't drunk." Micky said into the pillow.

There was a silence.

"What's this then?" Samantha asked after a few moments.

Micky groaned again as he rolled back over to see what Samantha was talking about. There she stood next to the bed, holding up the empty bottle of scotch that she'd spotted sitting on the floor. All Micky could do was look at his ex-girlfriend blankly - he was feeling too rough to try and come up with an excuse.

"Micky, did you come home and drink this all by yourself?" Samantha questioned, clearly unimpressed.

Micky tried to think of a smart answer, but he had nothing. "It was my birthday." He replied feebly.

"So you got drunk in your bedroom on your own?" Samantha pressed.

Micky run his fingers through his hair.

"Micky, do you really think this is a healthy way to behave?" Samantha asked.

"For god's sake, it was my birthday." Micky hit back, pulling himself into a sitting position and rubbing his eyes - he knew he wasn't going to have a chance to get back to sleep now. "Am I not allowed to even have a few drinks on my birthday?"

"A few drinks?" Samantha asked. "This is a whole bottle of scotch! And getting drunk on your own, Micky? Do you really think that's normal?"

"I'm not an alcoholic." Micky snapped. "I haven't had a proper drink in months. I've hardly touched alcohol since before Christmas so I don't know why you're making a big deal about me getting a bit drunk on my birthday."

Samantha shook her head in disbelief. "This is because we're leaving today, isn't it?" She asked.

"Well I'm sorry if I'm not exactly thrilled that you're taking my daughter away from me." Micky said bluntly.

"For god's sake, Micky!" Samantha said, raising her voice and throwing her hands in the air. "We've been through this. Stop acting like a spoilt child who hasn't gotten his own way."

Micky looked away.

"Do you think getting yourself wasted is going to make me want to stay or something?" Samantha questioned. "Because if anything it's just giving me another reason to leave."

Micky rubbed his eyes, realising that he'd maybe been a little harsh. "Whatever." He said. "I know you're not going to stay. I know I can't change your mind but I can't pretend I'm happy about it."

Samantha sighed. She sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at Micky with a mixture of disapproval and sympathy. "Please don't let this become a regular thing after we leave." She told him. "Please, Micky. Just because me and Ami are moving out it doesn't mean you can go back to the way you were before Christmas."

"I'm not going to." Micky said quickly, insulted that Samantha could think such a thing. "Just because I get drunk once it doesn't mean I have a problem!"

"As long as it is just this once, Micky." Samantha said in a warning tone. "There's a difference between getting drunk for fun with your friends and getting drunk on your own in some twisted attempt to deal with your problems."

Micky looked away - he felt embarrassed. Davy had said a similar thing to him before and he knew it was the truth.

"Just because Ami won't be living with you anymore it doesn't mean she stops being your daughter." Samantha said. "You'll still have just as many responsibilities and you'll still get to see her all the time, even if it isn't as often. She can still come and stay here with you, but only if you're okay."

Micky looked back at Samantha through sad eyes. "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked.

Samantha looked uncomfortable. "It means you have to keep your head screwed onto your shoulders." She said. "It means you can't go getting drunk all the time again."

"Hold on, do you think I'd get drunk around Ami?" Micky asked, totally insulted. "Do you seriously think I'd do anything to hurt her?!"

Samantha stood up. "I'm not accusing you of anything. But you said yourself that you used drinking to deal with your problems. You were a complete and utter mess before Christmas, Micky. When I looked at you I didn't even recognise you. If you ever got even close to being at that stage again then-"

"Then what?" Micky asked.

"Then it would definitely affect the amount of time you get to spend with our daughter." Samantha said firmly.

Micky looked up at Samantha through incredibly sad eyes. He felt both insulted and ashamed that Samantha had to say those words to him, but at the very same time he knew he couldn't blame her for being concerned and what hurt Micky most was the fact that Samantha's fears were totally justified.

Micky's sad gaze faltered and he stared at the floor.

"I'm sorry," Samantha said gently. "I'm not... I'm not trying to be insensitive. I'm not accusing you of anything, but... but you can't blame me for being worried when I come into your room in the middle of the day and find you hung-over with an empty bottle of booze next to your bed."

Micky nodded his head sadly. "It's alright." He said quietly, feeling completely ashamed that he'd given the mother of his child a reason to question his mental state. "I was just having a bad day, that's all. It won't...it won't happen again."

Samantha looked at Micky for a moment, although Micky was still unable to look at her. "Good." She said softly. "Make sure it doesn't."

Micky eventually pulled himself out of bed and got himself freshened up. He was feeling pretty rough, but he'd certainly felt a lot worse. Micky's hangover was the least of his worries though - instead Micky felt sad. He felt totally and utterly crushed that Samantha and Ami were about to move out for good.

Micky drove Samantha and their daughter to Samantha's house later that day to help her with a few final things, as most of Samantha's and Ami's stuff had been moved back to Samantha's house a few days before.

Micky held his daughter to his chest, cuddling her tightly and wondering if he would find the strength to let her go. Samantha walked into the room and smiled sympathetically at her ex-boyfriend and their baby daughter.

"I promise you can still see her all the time." Samantha assured him, noticing how upset Micky looked.

Micky looked up. "It's not too late to change your mind, you know." He said almost desperately. He knew there was no chance, but he couldn't help but have one final attempt at getting Samantha to change her mind.

"Micky..."

"I mean it," Micky said firmly, staring at his former girlfriend with eyes filled of desperation. "We could find a way to make it work if you decided to stay with me. We make a really great team."

"We do," Samantha nodded. "And we still will. We just won't be living together anymore."

Micky hung his head.

"Please don't do this, Micky." Samantha said sadly. "You know it has to be this way."

Micky nodded slowly. "Sorry..." He said quietly, looking up. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I just..."

"I know." Samantha smiled sympathetically. "And as soon as we're settled in we can make a proper arrangement and figure out when exactly you can see her."

Micky frowned. "But won't I get to see her whenever I want? I mean, can't I just drop by?"

"There needs to be some kind of routine, and there needs to be boundaries. We have discussed this before, Micky." Samantha said, tilting her head to the side. "I'm talking about her staying with you over night and everything. It might not get to happen right away, but we'll figure it out eventually. You don't have to worry."

Micky looked down at the little girl in his arms. Ami had Micky's shirt gripped tightly in her tiny fist, and a part of Micky hoped she would never let it go.

"You knew this was going to happen one day." Samantha told him.

Micky nodded slowly. "Yeah... but I never thought about how it'd feel when this day actually came." He admitted. "I didn't think it would be this hard."

Samantha approached him. "You'll be fine, Micky. In a week or two you'll get used to this new arrangement - we all will."

Micky smiled sadly before planting a tiny kiss on the top of Ami's head. "I hope so." He said.

When Micky returned to his house he was instantly struck by how lonely it felt. Micky hadn't lived on his own in months and he started to realise that he was not only going to miss Ami, but he was going to miss having Samantha around, too.

Micky had enjoyed having the company. He'd enjoyed being able to sit with Samantha in the evenings and chat about nothing in particular. He realised what a good friend Samantha had become, but he was saddened to know that friendship wasn't all that Samantha wanted from him.

But Micky wondered what he'd do without that friendship constantly being around him. Micky was a little fearful about how he'd get by living all on his own again. In a twisted way Micky felt like a child being left home alone without his parents; he had no idea what to do with himself, and he didn't feel particularly safe, either. Micky knew it was stupid - he was a grown man with a child of his own, but the bottom line was Micky didn't particularly trust himself.

In the week that followed, Micky had found himself slip back into the habit of drinking regularly again. Instead of going out and getting drunk in clubs or at parties, Micky stuck to drinking at home where he couldn't get himself into too much trouble by doing drugs or sleeping with someone he shouldn't. While Micky wasn't getting wasted all the time, he was still drinking enough to numb his depression and his anxiety.

Davy stopped by a week after Ami and Samantha had moved out. He hadn't spoken to Micky in a little while as he and Linda had been on a short break to Las Vegas.

"Alright?" Davy asked as Micky let him into the house.

Micky shrugged his shoulders. "I guess."

"I called round earlier but you weren't in." Davy said as Micky closed the door behind him.

"Oh yeah, I just went for a ride on my motorcycle. It's been ages since I took her out." Micky replied. "How was Vegas?"

"Oh it was great. I probably gambled a bit too much but you know how it is." Davy replied as the two men walked into the lounge. "Linda had a great time too. She made me have one of those spa treatment things with her. This bird covered me in this mud stuff, it was so weird and awkward. Afterwards my skin felt really soft though. It still does. Do you want to feel it?"

Micky frowned. "No, I think I'll pass."

"Well it is proper soft." Davy said, stroking his own face. "But anyway, I'm more interested in how you've been since Ami and Samantha left ya."

Micky shrugged his shoulders before sitting down on the couch. "Okay, I guess."

"Really?" Davy asked suspiciously.

"I'm fine." Micky said a little unconvincingly. "I spent the day with Ami yesterday actually. It was really nice."

"I'm sorry I haven't been around much." Davy said a little guiltily. "It's typical the week me and Linda choose to go away is the week Sammy leaves ya."

"You don't need to look out for me, Davy." Micky told his friend, tilting his head to the side.

"Well you seemed pretty cut up about it all on your birthday," Davy said, sitting down next to Micky. "It's been ages since I've seen you like that."

"Well you don't know what it's like to be a dad and have your baby taken away from you." Micky responded solemnly. "It's horrible."

"She does only live ten minutes away, mate." Davy said. "It's not like Samantha took her back to the UK."

"I know. I know I should be grateful that I'm even in Ami's life at all after the way I was at the end of last year, but it's still shit." Micky said sadly. "It's really fucking shit."

Davy sighed. "But you're looking after yourself, aren't ya?" He asked, eyeing his friend.

"I'm not going wild, if that's what you mean." Micky replied, folding his arms.

"So you haven't been out much?" Davy wondered.

Micky could tell something was on Davy's mind. "No. Why?"

"So you haven't heard any interesting gossip recently or anything..?" Davy asked as he eyed Micky suspiciously.

Micky frowned. "Gossip? Gossip about me?" He asked. He was starting to feel paranoid.

"No, not gossip about you." Davy replied. "It's not really gossip as such. More like information you'll be interested in."

Micky stared at Davy blankly, but when the Englishman didn't elaborate Micky started to grow impatient. "Davy, what are you talking about?"

Davy leaned forward and sighed. "Alright. I think its best you hear this from me in case you hear it from someone else and think too much of it." He said.

"Well what is it?!" Micky questioned, frustrated that his friend wasn't getting straight to the point.

"Okay," Davy sighed as if he was psyching himself up. "I don't want you to freak out or think this means something that it doesn't, okay?"

"Davy, spit it out, will you?!" Micky snapped.

Davy nodded. "Alright," He said. "Okay. Mike and Phyllis have split up."

Micky was completely thrown. He had no idea what he was expecting Davy to say, but he really wasn't expecting that. Micky stared at Davy with wide eyes and he felt his heart start thumping in his chest.

"They've split up?" Micky asked slowly.

"Yeah," Davy nodded. "One of Linda's friends works with a really good friend of Phyllis's... or something like that. Anyway, Linda heard it from her yesterday. Apparently they broke up last week and Mike is back living at his place again."

Micky's eyes darted about the room as he tried to process this information. "Well do you know why they split?"

Davy shrugged. "Apparently it was a mutual thing, but who knows?" He said. "I just thought I should tell you so I can also tell you not to get your hopes up and think this means you and Mike have a future or something."

Micky's eyes focussed on Davy. "Well how do you know it doesn't?" He asked.

"Because he left you." Davy replied flatly. "I'm sorry, mate, but this doesn't change anything. He still left ya, and he would've left ya whether he was planning on getting back with his missus or not."

"But he's not with her anymore." Micky said. "What if he left her because he's still in love with me..?"

Davy looked to the ceiling. "I knew you'd do this." He sighed dramatically. "That's why I wanted to tell you before anyone else did. I knew you'd get carried away about it all."

Micky stared at Davy.

"It's now March, Micky. You and Mike broke up in September. That was," Davy started counting on his fingers. "Six months ago. You broke up almost half a year ago."

"So?" Micky asked in a rather pitiful voice.

Davy rolled his eyes and sighed again. "Mick, Mike and Phyllis broke up last week. Maybe even earlier than that. And has Mike been around here declaring his undying love for you? No. No he hasn't."

Micky looked to the floor. He knew he was stupid for getting his hopes up, but Davy was right; Micky's mind did have a habit of running away from him and there wasn't much he could do about it.

"I'm sorry, Mick." Davy said. "But I'm just giving it to ya straight. Mike isn't going to have you back. Six months have passed and where has he been? Even when you were at rock bottom at Christmas he didn't come to see you and make sure you were okay."

Micky looked up. "He called you though. He called and asked you if I was alright, didn't he?"

"Yeah, probably because he felt guilty because I told him that it was his fault you were so messed up." Davy said. "But where was he after that? He could've called or come to make sure you were okay, but he didn't. Even after he saw what a state you were in."

"He asked me to come with him." Micky said sadly, almost desperately. "That night he saw me with Tony... he asked me to go with him, I'm sure he did. But I..I said no. If I'd have gone with him things might've been different."

"You were off your head that night, Micky." Davy said. "For all you know you could've imagined the whole thing."

Micky hung his head again.

"Look, I'm not saying he doesn't care about you at all." Davy said, realising that he was perhaps being a little harsh. "But still being in love with you? I think that ship has sailed, mate. And you really need to start accepting that."

Micky stared at the carpet, chewing the inside of his mouth.

Davy leaned back in his chair and sighed.

"Everything is shit." Micky mumbled, going from sad to angry. "Everything in my life is fucking shit."

"How can you say that?" Davy said, aghast. "What about that little girl of yours?"

"She's all I've got and I don't even have her anymore." Micky said miserably.

Davy rolled his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic." He said. "Of course you still have her. You said you spent the day with her yesterday, for Christ's sakes."

"But not today." Micky hit back. "And not tomorrow. I don't get to see her at night. Last night I put her to bed, but if she wakes up in the middle of the night I'm not there. I'm not there to sing her back to sleep. And I don't get to see her first thing in the morning. I don't get to choose her outfit for the day and I won't get to give her a bath before bed tonight."

Davy sighed. "You'll get used to it, man. There are millions of other dads in your position."

"Well it's fucking horrible." Micky said, his voice dripping in sadness. "I fucking hate it. I miss her. I miss Mike. I miss my friends not thinking there's something wrong with me. I miss me."

Micky paused for a moment while Davy watched him.

"I miss me." Micky said again. "I miss being happy. I miss how I was before. I miss not looking in the mirror and hating what I see. I hate everything I've done to myself. I hate what I made Mike do to me. I hate what I let Tony and those men do to me. I feel dirty and there's nothing I can do to get clean again. I miss not feeling this way. I miss not needing to drink all the time. I miss not missing drugs. I miss everything."

Davy looked to the floor. It had been ages since he'd heard Micky speak like this; since the turn of the year Micky's outlook had seemed far more positive and his mood seemed much brighter. Now though, Davy couldn't help but feel his friend had taken a massive step backwards.

Micky looked up at his friend almost bashfully. "I miss you not feeling like you need to look out for me all the time." He said in a non-accusing way. "I miss you not thinking I'm a basket case. And I miss not giving you a reason to think that."

Davy tilted his head to the side and looked at Micky sadly. "Mick..." He said quietly, looking down and shaking his head. "I don't think that, mate."

Micky felt embarrassed and he started picking at his fingernail. "I'm sorry..." He mumbled.

"It's been ages since I've heard you talk like this," Davy said, gaining a little confidence again. "I thought you were over this, man."

Micky shook his head. "No," He said. "It's just with Ami and Samantha around it was easier to block it all out. Now they're gone I feel... I feel lost."

Davy sighed. "I wish I knew what to say to put it right."

Micky smiled sadly. "It's okay, Davy." He said. "You've done more than enough. You've been great. Just having someone I can talk to about all of this helps."

"Really?" Davy asked with a pained expression.

"Sort of." Micky said, matching Davy's look with a painful smile. "You're a great friend and I really don't say it enough."

Micky could swear he saw Davy's cheeks go a little red, and the Englishman looked away. "Come on, man..." Davy said with an awkward laugh. "Let's not get all mushy now, yeah?"

Micky smiled and looked to the floor again. He felt totally embarrassed by how the conversation had turned although he did feel grateful that he'd been allowed to vent.

"I know it's a cliché, but you will be alright." Davy told him. "I know I've said it a hundred times before but... yeah."

Micky looked up. "Thanks, Davy." He said quietly.

"Just don't do anything stupid, yeah?" Davy said. "I'm guessing you're drinking again..?"

Micky cringed.

"I take that as a yes." Davy sighed. "But you're not doing coke, are you? Please tell me you're not doing coke..?"

Micky shook his head. "No, I'm not doing coke..." He replied. "Although... I have thought about it. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted."

"You can't go down that road again, man." Davy said, giving his friend a warning look. "I mean it, Mick. If you go down that route again you really will lose Ami. For good."

"I know." Micky said in a small voice, nodding his head. "I know that. And I'm going to try my hardest not to take that path again. I don't want to be like I was before. I'm bad enough now without that on top of me too."

Davy eyed Micky in concern. "Booze ain't the answer either though, mate." He said. "I know I can't force you to stop, but... but I can tell you that it really isn't the best option for you."

"I know that too." Micky admitted. "But I can't help it."

Davy run his fingers through his hair and sighed thoughtfully. "I don't know what to say, man." He said. "I guess you need to try harder. You have a daughter now, Mick. You can't be boozing all the time when you have a baby. That's not right."

"I'd never drink when Ami is around." Micky said honestly. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt her."

"But if you carry on like this it's going to reach a point where you can't control when you drink or not." Davy warned. "It's called being an alcoholic, Micky. One of my uncles was a raging alcoholic and he didn't pick and chose when he was drunk or not. He was literally drunk all the time. You can't let yourself get to that stage, but if you carry on like this... fuck, man."

Micky was a little scared by Davy's words. He wasn't naive to alcoholism and he knew the risks, but he'd never really put himself into that category. "I don't plan on being like this forever." He said. "I'm going to try to change... I just need to figure out how."

"Well you better figure it out soon." Davy said. "'Cause like I said, you have a baby now. And if you really and truly lost her for good then where would you be?"

Micky nodded slowly. "I'll try harder." He said a little feebly, trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince Davy. "I don't want to be like this anymore."