A Trip To Casa Bonita

By Shadowgate

….

It was a beautiful Friday afternoon at South Park Elementary School.

"Stan I have great news. I was able to get Red to be my date."

Stan smiled and exhaled in relief over Kyle getting a date. He already had Wendy of course but with their six tickets they needed two more kids just so they wouldn't go to waste.

Kyle suggested Craig and any other girl if possible.

"I feel bad about how things didn't work out with our Peruvian Flute Band moneymaker plan. Also we owe him our lives whether we want to admit it or not."

Stan looked at Kyle with concern but then his face lit up with a reply "Bebe is a runaround girl. Wendy is coming and I know she'd love to have Bebe along. I have a feeling Craig would have no problem with dating her. I hate to admit this but we should first apologize to Craig then offer him a trip to Casa Bonita. I'll text Wendy and have her talk to Bebe about dating Craig and I hope Craig will choose not to ignore us with silence and a middle finger."

Inside Counselor Mackey's office.

"Craig you've been in trouble all week. Remember that book "Scrotie McBugarBalls" I caught you with? Now that's a naughty book that talks about a man sticking his head up a horse's ass."

Craig started laughing and Mister Mackey gets pissed off. "Stop laughing it's not funny to have a book like that on campus that talks about eating shit and fucking yourself up the ass with a kitchen fork."

Suddenly Counselor Mackey's office phone rings. When he answered it he said "um hmm, um kay" a couple times then he hung up and told Craig "I have a personal emergency you just go on home."

Craig left Counselor Mackey's office and waved goodbye to Principal Victoria. When he got out in the hallway he saw Kyle and Stan. He frowned and exhaled but Stan said "Craig we're sorry and we want to invite you to something fun with no strings attached."

Craig was skeptical but Kyle insisted "Craig please" and put his hand on Craig's shoulder.

A minute after Kyle and Stan explained everything Wendy walked up to them along with her close friends Red and Bebe.

It was all set. However before all six of them could head home and get fully prepared for triple dinner date a pissed off fat kid in the hallway demanded to know why he was not invited to Casa Bonita.

Stan immediately explained the obvious "I'm inviting my close friend Kyle and his new girlfriend Red along with my girlfriend Wendy. Craig just now happens to be Bebe's boyfriend so that covers all six tickets."

Kyle tensed up and asked "do you remember my birthday party and what you did to Butters?"

Cartman answered "so what if I put Butters in a hole. He was dumb enough to fall for it he deserved it."

All six of them groan in disgust and walk away.

Cartman yelled "I'll get even."

5PM

When Stan met Wendy he saw her in a red dress and her hair had been done. It was obvious she went to a salon. He looked at her with a big smile and using his phone he started playing the song "Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton.

Kyle's mom agreed to drive all six for a night of fun.

However someone was still pissed off and thinking of how to get into Casa Bonita. He knew it was only five blocks away from his house. But could he run that far? That was the question he asked himself and he yelled "yes I can run that far" but his smile turned to a frown when he felt a stomachache. Then he yelled "Oh Goddamn it" and ran to the bathroom to let out the runs.

Craig, Kyle, Stan, Red, Bebe, and Wendy were all seated at their dinner table.

They looked over their menus and it wasn't long before they all knew what they wanted. However it was a busy Friday night so their waiter took a moment to get back to them. Stan reached out and took Wendy's right hand. Red put her arm around Kyle.

She told him "I don't get out much and I'm so glad to go on a date. Kyle you've got character and I am damn lucky to be dating you."

After the other four young love birds witnessed Red's bold testimony they were not only happy for her and Kyle but it led Bebe to immediately put her arm around Craig.

Outside the restaurant Cartman walked up to the entrance and said "one please."

When he had no money the cashier at the entrance said "no entre gordo el-bastard."

"I'm an American and you Mexicans are on my land so I should be able to come in at any time without having to pay."

Two security guards threw him out. He was furious and went behind Casa Bonita to think. He noticed a construction site and some catapults.

"Well maybe I can get in after all. I'm white so I'm smarter than those wetbacks."

In the meantime two kids who were much smarter than Cartman sat by the waterfall and watched the relaxing sight of clean fresh water coming down.

Wendy wrapped her arms around Stan in a warm tight embrace. Stan responded "I hope we get married when we're 18. It pisses me off we can't get married now."

Another kid who was pissed off decided he was going to get his shit in gear. He got on a catapult and luckily it had a computer which timed it. The timer counted down and it sent him flying over Casa Bonita and he landed right on a dinner table completely ruining everything for a couple on a date. The table was crushed and Cartman was covered in food. When the management in charge came to investigate Cartman was thrown out.

Shortly after that ruckus the song "Even The Nights Are Better" by Air Supply came on and all six kids on a date began dancing. Even though they were not born in the 1980's all six of them loved 80's hit songs.

Cartman was feeling anything but love. He felt his anger burning within and red-hot sauce burning him on the outside of his body thanks to the table crash. Cartman now realized "I will get even. In order to get even I must do something very hard. I must think."

He pulled out his phone and called Butters.

"Butters I need your help. Stan, Kyle, and Craig are dating Wendy, Bebe, and Red and I want them to suffer."

Butters replied "Eric I know all about their trip to Casa Bonita and I'm not going to help you fuck it up like fucked me over on Kyle's Birthday."

Cartman got pissed off and threatened "if you don't help me I'll show videos of your dad at that gay bathhouse to everyone at school. Remember when he went to the gay bathhouse and your mom tried to drown you?"

Butters asked "you don't have videos of my dad at a gay bathhouse getting fucked by a black man and yelling 'yes, yes you own me I'm your white bitch!"

Cartman answered "Yes I do and you better help me or suffer major humiliation."

Butters agreed to help and Cartman had a hard time holding back laughter since Butters fell for his trick. Of course he has no fucking pictures.

Back at the table for six the waiter finally returned to take their orders.

It took Butters a half an hour to get to Casa Bonita on foot. When Butters arrived Cartman told him "I'm going to get on the catapult and you hit the button."

Cartman got on the catapult and when Butters activated it Cartman goes spinning around 360 degrees and gets slammed in several directions.

"Are you okay Eric?"

Cartman screamed and cussed out Butters big time.

Inside the restaurant the gang of six young lovers are starving.

Stan put his arm around Kyle and said "I'm glad we're here. You first introduced me to this place for your last birthday party. I'm glad you did."

Stan decided to put his arm around someone he wasn't as fond of.

Outside Cartman saw an 18-wheeler pull in and he decided he'd have fun with the driver.

He walked up to the driver as the driver got out of his truck and he said "Casa Bonita please!"

The driver was not amused and said "no I'm not going to let you in through the back gate and I suggest you get out of this area because only personnel are allowed back here."

Cartman got pissed off and started cussing. As a result two security guards came. They lifted him along with Butters and escorted them out into the front parking lot.

Cartman wasn't giving up. He told Butters that he had two suits and they'd be posing as the owners in order to get in.

Cartman and Butters hid themselves in bushes where Cartman stashed a suitcase with the suits and ties. While Butters and Cartman started changing clothes six other children were eating their dinner.

By the time Cartman and Butters finished changing clothes Kyle, Stan, Red, and Wendy were dressing up in western clothes. When Stan and Wendy got dressed up Wendy joked that they looked like Bonnie and Clyde.

At the entrance Butters and Cartman entered. The ticket taker told them they could not come in but Cartman flashed a phony badge and claimed to be one of the owners and told the ticket taker "you're fired."

The ticket taker walked out crying. Butters pointed out "Eric that lady really believes she lost her job and she is going to get fired because she walked out on the job thanks to you misleading her."

Cartman took off his hat and parted his hair. He put on a pair of glasses and had Butters put on a yellow Whig. He explained to Butters that they were going to be seen by Stan's mom on the cell phone and they'd convince her they were Mister Mackey and Principal Victoria.

Butters said "I don't want to put the wig on because you might think I'm a girl and start jacking off."

Cartman smacked Butters and told him to do it.

When they dialed the number Sharon Marsh picked up her phone and saw what appeared to be Principal Victoria on the other end.

"Mrs. Marsh your son is in a lot of trouble."

But Butters and Cartman ended up in trouble when the real Counselor Mackey approached them and started chewing them out.

The ticket taker returned to tell Cartman she got a text from her boss that the real owners were in Denver. Then she yelled "I'll kick you in the nuts!"

The ticket taker kicked Eric Cartman in the nuts so hard he fell over and struggled to catch his breath.

After 15 minutes Cartman could get enough breath and stood up. He said "well Butters shit his pants and now I'm glad I can stand up."

Counselor Mackey made it clear to Cartman he'd be calling his mother but Cartman just laughed and said "my mom has been smoking crack all fucking day and won't be taking any phone calls."

Cartman ran off and vanished into the crowd and Counselor Mackey decided to chase after him. It took five minutes for Counselor Mackey to catch up with him and the only reason he managed to spot Cartman is because Cartman ran into a waiter. The waiter lost his grip on a bowl of salsa and it splattered all over Craig's face.

Craig got pissed off and punched Cartman in the face.

Counselor Mackey yelled "Eric look at the trouble you caused umkay."

Four of the children returned to their table to see Bebe cussing out Cartman and Craig headed off to the restroom to wash up.

Kyle said "hey Cartman knock knock"

Cartman asked "who's there?"

Kyle answered "left fist"

Cartman asked "left fist who?"

Kyle told Cartman "I'm going to hit you with my left fist."

Kyle hit Cartman with his left fist and laughed.

Cartman yelled "Goddamn it!"

Kyle said "knock knock"

Cartman asked "who's there?"

Kyle answered "right fist"

Cartman asked "right fist who?"

Kyle hits Cartman with his right fist.

Cartman starts crying and says "my nose is bleeding you Goddamn hook nose faggot Jew boy."

Kyle joked "well now you know how it feels to have a right hook in the nose."

Stan said "knock knock"

Kyle asked "who's there?"

Stan answered "band aid"

Kyle asked "band aid who?"

Stan answered "Cartman needs a band aid but nobody has one."

Everybody laughed at that.

Stan says "hey Cartman knock knock."

Cartman says "who's there?"

Stan says "left foot"

Cartman says "left foot who?"

Stan says "I'm going to kick you with my left foot."

Stan kicks Cartman with his left foot right in the shin.

Everybody laughs.

Stan says "knock knock"

Cartman says "who's there?"

Stan says "right foot"

Cartman stops and says "oh I'm supposed to say right foot who and then you kick me with your right foot."

Stan says "I promise I won't kick you."

Cartman says "okay then right foot who?"

Stan says "Kyle's going to kick you with his right foot."

Kyle kicks Cartman in the shin.

Cartman screams and cusses.

Craig gets back from the bathroom and says "Hey guys knock knock."

Stan, Wendy, Bebe, Red, and Kyle answer "who's there?"

Craig says "plate."

All answer "plate who?"

Craig says "I'm going to smack Cartman with a plate."

Craig slammed his plate straight into Cartman's face and broke it.

Counselor Mackey yelled "that's enough! I've already called Eric Cartman's mom and Butters parents and they're on their way to break up these shenanigans umkay."

When Liane Cartman arrived she said "Eric, knock knock."

Cartman yelled "oh no mom you're not going to pull a knock knock joke on me like these assholes did."

Liane replied "okay then I'll just pull you out of Casa Bonita and take you home. You're grounded for a month."

When Linda and Steven Stotch arrived they found Butters eating at a table.

They asked him what the hell he was doing and he told them "I won a free meal at Casa Bonita" which was not the truth. Luckily he had money to buy dinner. Steven told him "your mother and I got a phone call from Counselor Mackey stating you were here causing trouble with Eric Cartman and Eric Cartman just got grounded by his mom."

Butters giggled and replied "it looks like Eric Cartman was up to no good as usual."

Craig jumped in by saying "Butters just confess you were in on it too."

Craig, Kyle, and Stan all stare at Butters with annoyed looks on their faces.

Butters cried and said "I was in on it too dad, Eric Cartman recruited me."

Steven decided to have some fun by saying "Butters, knock knock."

Butters asked "who's there?"

Steve replied "one."

Butters asked "one who?"

Steven replied "one month is how long you're grounded and one piece of custard pie is what I will enjoy eating. One whole pie is what I told the waiter to put in your face."

The waiter puts a whole pie in Butter's face and then Linda snapped "Butters come on we're leaving."

Counselor Mackey takes a seat and orders dinner for himself.

Stan and Wendy get on the log ride and discuss their relationship. It wasn't long before Wendy took hold of Stan in her arms and held him tight. He felt so much warmth and didn't even notice the bumps of the log ride. He wanted to lay in the arms of his beautiful girl forever.

Kyle was with Red sitting at a table. He held one of her hands and put his other hand on her back. He told her how sweet she was and that he was happy to be dating her.

Craig and Bebe were having a great time watching the cliff divers.

"Bebe tonight has been awesome. The fat tub of lard got in trouble and I scored a date with you. I just hope my best friend doesn't get jealous."

"Well Cartman gets in trouble every day and don't worry about Clyde. Him and I need a break and you're just as hot as he is."

Bebe and Craig start making out. After a minute of making out Bebe leaned into Craig's arms and he held on to her. The waterfall was relaxing enough for them. As Bebe leaned against Craig's chest, she heard his heart beating which she found very enjoyable. 30 seconds later she looked up and told Craig "hearing the waterfall is relaxing. I also heard your heart beating as you held me."

Craig leaned in and kissed Bebe on her forehead.

Stan and Wendy got off the log ride and so did Kyle and Red who were riding behind them.

Kyle spoke "Stan it just so happens Red is a great kisser."

Stan replied "so is Wendy" and they did a high five.

THE END