14

When they arrived Penny started heading towards Sheldon's office when he stopped her.

"Penny, Gabelhauser arranged for me to move to larger quarters. Follow me to our new office suite."

Sheldon led her to a suite and opened the door. It was dark. Penny saw a large desk and some comfortable chairs.

"Sheldon, I think this office is actually smaller than your old office. And darker. I can't see how three of us will fit in here."

Sheldon moved further into the dark office, turned on some more lights and opened the three doors that suddenly became visible revealing three windowed offices that allowed sunlight to pour into the outer office.

"Okay, this is definitely bigger. Sheldon, how the heck did you wrangle this?"

"Penny, that is information you may not wish to have at the moment."

"Sheldon, what the heck is going on?"

"Missy?"

"Penny, trust me, you don't want to know this until you absolutely have to."

"It will be announced later this afternoon."

"What's gonna be announced, Sheldon? I'm not moving another inch until you tell me."

"That I have been awarded tenure."

"Sheldon, that's great. I was afraid when I saw the smaller office that you might have been demoted because of what went on over the summer. But tenure, wow."

"But, Penny…"

"Give her a minute, Sheldon…"

Sheldon and Missy watched Penny as she slowly came to a realization.

"Oh crap!"

"She got it."

"That means Leonard didn't get tenure. Crap. He was so absolutely sure. He figured the Hawking thing would have sealed the deal."

"Gabelhauser offered me tenure and I accepted a few days ago. He did not wish to make the formal announcement or inform the faculty and staff until I was fully back. There will be a small reception at 3. Apparently it is non-optional for me. Penny, if you wish you may go console Leonard and we can commence your employment tomorrow."

"No, Sheldon, I said I would work for you and work begins today. Besides, you said Leonard won't know about it until this afternoon. I'll just need to be at home when he gets there and prepare for a lot of crying."

"Penny, this is not a great tragedy. There's no need for you to cry."

"Oh, I don't expect to be the one crying. Though I guess I'll also need to stop by Victoria's Secret on the way home. Um, Sheldon, I couldn't get an advance, could I?"

"Penny, if I am to understand what you are asking of me; you would like to get an advance on your paycheck which you have yet to earn, essentially a loan, so that you may purchase new lingerie to be used to distract your likely disconsolate fiancée from the fact that I received tenure and he did not with the prospect of coitus."

"Yup. That's about the size of it."

"Penny, Penny, Penny," Sheldon said as he gave Penny $200."

"Let us now get settled so Missy can go to her interview and we can find the baby's spot. Penny, this front area is yours during office hours. The office in the center will be yours for major projects and also store the baby's things. The office on the left will be Alex's and I will be in the main office on the right. I even have my own personal lavatory. Nobody's allowed in my lavatory. There is a crib and changing table in my office."

Penny looked shocked. "Sheldon, you are actually going to change the baby in your office? This I have to see."

"I was hoping that his meal schedule could be adjusted so that he doesn't evacuate his bowels until after he leaves for the day, but I suspect that may not be possible. I have already changed him a handful of times. I have a shipment of wipes, gloves, surgical masks, nose plugs, diapers and scented candles being delivered later today. I do hope the supply I brought from home is adequate until then."

Missy put her hand on Sheldon's arm. "Shelly, you'll be fine. Put the baby in the crib. Move the crib a little bit into the sun for warmth and let the baby go to sleep."

"But how do you know that is his spot?"

"Trust me. He's had a crazy morning. He rode in Penny's car. He met, Jesus save us, that guy Kripke. He will be asleep five minutes after you put him in the crib."

"Alright."

Missy unbuckled the Babybjorn and Sheldon gently placed the baby in the crib. Luckily Penny saw the moment coming and made sure to capture in on her phone camera.

"Okay, I'm goin' clear across campus to the Humanities Building. I'll call and let you know when I'm headed back, okay?"

"That'll be fine, sweetie. You go knock 'em dead!"

"Penny, how will they possibly hire Missy if she kills them. And the authorities will then be after her. What are you thinking?"

"Sheldon. It's an expression. Y'know, like "break a leg" or "merde" before a performance."

"Penny, those are theatrical superstitions. I know of no superstition or statement derived from one that is appropriate for a job interview."

"So I faked one. I just wanted Missy to go over there confidently."

"You should have said that. Remember, Missy is from Texas. When you tell someone from Texas to knock something dead, something tends to die."

"I'm sure Missy will be fine."

Missy headed out and sure enough, the baby was asleep in side of five minutes.

"Looks like Missy found his spot, alright."

"I'm not fully convinced. There is a possibility that there is another spot that would be conducive to his acquisition of sleep in even less time. Further investigation is merited."

"You could try just talking to him Sheldon. I know it's put me to sleep on a few occasions."

"Penny, I'm not certain you should speak to me thusly in a work paradigm."

"You're right, Sheldon. I apologize."

"Raj had some difficulty adjusting at first, but he and I developed a workday rapport over time. I'm certain we will do the same. And I accept there will be occasional missteps like just now. In fact it is preferable that those missteps happen when we are alone."

"Sheldon, I promise that if I misstep I will only do it to you."

"Um, with me, Penny."

"Sure."

"Once we are settled, there is some employment, payroll and insurance paperwork for you to fill out in your top desk drawer. I have pre-filled-in the information that I am aware of to save to you time. You may wish to review it but I am fairly certain that I have everything entered correctly."

"Thank you, Sheldon. That was very thoughtful of you. A little bit creepy but still very thoughtful."

"Please review it nonetheless. You have an appointment with Mrs. Davis in Human Resources at 1:30. If the paperwork is to your and her approval and you turn it in to her at that time, you will receive your first paycheck next Tuesday."

"That would be great."

"Now, I believe we are alright in terms of office supplies. You will find them in that cabinet across from your desk. Gabelhauser's secretary will be by at some point today to tell you how to get things we may still require. You will not want to have lunch with her, at least not yet. I believe it is better that you meet the various people in the department before you hear the gossip about them. And you should remember that your fiancée, your boss, and two of your friends are amongst those who get gossiped about. And considering our little situation, you should prepare to be the subject of some of the gossip."

"Sheldon, I thought this was a university. The way you're describing it makes it sound just like high school."

"Not having attended high school I'll have to take your work on that."

Penny unpacked most of the stuff they'd brought to the office as it was intended to stay there. Sheldon set up a group of brand new white boards in his office. As they were both starting to settle down the phone rang. First they both looked over at the sleeping baby to see if he woke up. He didn't. Then Sheldon looked toward Penny and after a couple of seconds she got it and picked up the phone.

"Good morning. Dr. Cooper's office. This is Penny."

Penny looked over at Sheldon and saw a little smile.

"I got the job!"

"Sheldon, it's Missy. She got the job."

"Please put Missy on speaker, Penny."

"Missy, I'm putting you on speaker. Congratulations."

"Yes. Congratulations, Missy."

"Thanks guys. Listen, I need to be here until around 3. Can y'all come over for lunch so I can feed the baby? My treat. Shelly, I inspected. It'll be okay for you to eat here. In fact, I think once you see this place you may never want to eat anywhere else again."

"Oh, I doubt that. But I am willing to visit this once. We will see you at noon."

"Okey-doke."

"Oh, I'm sorry Penny. I spoke without confirming that you wish to join us. Would you prefer to join Leonard for lunch?"

"Um, actually no. If I see him I'd have to tell him what I know about the tenure and stuff and I have a feeling there won't be any eating and lots of yelling and probably crying. Since I'm probably gonna get that tonight anyway why don't I just let it wait until then?"

"An eminently sensible plan. It will take us approximately 11 minutes to walk over there. We should prepare. I suspect we will be returning with the baby. Will you be able to remain at work until Missy has completed her business?"

"Sure. But I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to your reception."

"I agree. Additionally those affairs are usually quite boring. And the cake they serve tends to be a bit stale."

"You already know I'm proud of and happy for you and again I'd rather avoid the crying until I have to deal with it."

"Again, quite sensible. Let us proceed to lunch."